The morning after your chuunin promotion is the first time you've ever laughed out loud in front of your brothers to the point you're close to throwing up.

"I-I can't b-breathe– h-help!" You wheeze, clutching your stomach and kneeling on the living room floor, while Sasuke shyly holds a paper close to his chest. "Please!"

You're laughing so hard, you're crying.

"Is... Is my drawing really that bad?" Five-year-old Sasuke asks Itachi forlornly, eyes shining with unshed tears of embarrassment.

Oh sweet baby brother of mine, your drawing would've become a meme where I was from, you think hysterically, but wisely kept that opinion to yourself. That, and you just can't really talk as you're too busy using your air to just continue laughing.

Lord help you for demolishing a five-year-old's self-esteem towards his artistic skills like this.

"No, Sasuke, Kama is just really..." Itachi gives you an unamused look, before trying to spare his little brother's feelings. "Happy."

"The drawing is for you, though," Sasuke tells him, confused but no longer upset, as he trusts Itachi with all his tiny heart.

However, Itachi's explanation only made you laugh harder, due to the fact that he's looking like he's resisting the temptation to face heavenward to pray to his imaginary god.

"Yes," your dear younger brother exhales tiredly from his nose, before deadpanning, "... Kama is happy for me."

God bless Itachi's eternal patience.

"Oh..." The boy says, oblivious.

You start coughing on the floor, gasping, but it doesn't wipe off the huge grin on your face.

"I'll be drawing him one too anyway," Sasuke thinks aloud, sparing you a glance before looking back at Itachi with an eager smile. "That way, you can both be happy!"

You can practically hear the obvious adoration in your twin's voice, when he says,

"I would like that."

(And you ponder over how much excruciating pain Itachi subjected Sasuke to for him to even doubt Itachi's love.)

You finally stop laughing.

~*~*~

Later that afternoon, stuffed in your wallet is a carefully folded paper that holds a five-year-old's (badly drawn) impression of your performance from the chuunin exams.

In your humble opinion, Sasuke's drawing of Itachi is a lot funnier.

... But you'll admit, it's impressive for a five-year-old.

Maybe Sasuke can finally have a hobby other than training to vie for Fugaku's attention, or trailing after you or Itachi like a lost duckling.

(One change at a time that changes something yet nothing at all.)

~*~*~

There's something to be said about a suspicious old man approaching a lone child in an empty forest, late at night; especially when he has a small army placed around, hidden within the surrounding trees' shadows.

Something that starts with 'Pedo' and ends with '-phile'. Or maybe it has something to do with the words 'human' and 'trafficking'.

... Hmm, you just can't seem to put a finger on it.

"--displayed a unique feat of performing two different elemental jutsus at the same time, which speaks multiple possibilities for your absolute chakra control that I'm sure the foundation can help you hone–"

Ah, he's still talking, you think tiredly to yourself, letting the old man blabber as much as he wants to. He sure likes hearing himself talk.

"-- like to join our faction in protecting Konoha from the underground?"

You patiently stay silent, as you stare at the council elder with a polite smile. Your smile is tighter than usual, however, and perhaps it's only one twitch away from a sneer. You would and never will know, because you would sooner bare all your secrets to Fugaku than slip up in front of this man.

This traumatized, paranoid old man who won't hesitate to use your own humanity against you, because to him, it's a weakness to be exploited.

(Itachi was just so unfortunate that he is so human.)

Once upon a life, you hated his character; hated how he's quick to use, manipulate, and abandon others and justify that it was for the sake of his precious Konoha.

(But now, you think you understand.)

... Oh, he's done, you realize with an amused huff when the old man has been silent for too long, probably waiting for your answer. You then internally steel yourself for what you're about to say next.

"Whatever your offer is, I would have to decline!" You chirp shamelessly with a seemingly innocent grin. "While I do like men, I'm not into old men. Sorry!"

And with that, you flicker away from Shimura Danzo's vicinity.

(The next and last time you meet ROOT's leader, it is you who approaches him.)

~*~*~

While Shisui living alone provides an unfortunate context for his home life, it does make visiting his house easier than otherwise.

(How can you look his parents in the eye when you know how young their son is going to die?)

With the help of the moonlight, you can see Shisui about to enter under the covers of his futon when you suddenly knock on his second-story bedroom window, startling him.

"What the– Kama?" Shisui peers at the glass panes disbelievingly, and lo and behold, you are balancedly perched on his windowsill like some cursed cat, waiting for him to let you in.

"Salutations, comrade bestie," you greet him, your voice muffled by the glass barrier.

He then approaches the window to unlock it, opening it to both you and the cool night air of spring.

"Why are you here?" He gives you a bewildered look. "It's almost midnight."

Ah yes, you can always count on Shisui's night owl tendencies to still be awake at this time. It's only because of his shinobi duties why he resists the temptation to stay awake at ungodly hours.

"The same reason why I come here at all," you answer casually, welcoming yourself into his room. Shisui instantly knows what you're talking about.

"No, no. We agreed that the sleep genjutsu is only done twice a week, so we don't risk altering any of your brain functions," he reminds you warningly.

"Yep," you dismiss easily.

"You already asked me twice this week," he adds.

"And?" You goad.

"It's only Tuesday." He crosses his arms disapprovingly.

At this, you just brazenly sprawl yourself on his futon, lazily propping your head up on your hand, as you give him a smug look.

"Then would you rather have me risk putting myself into a coma? Because I will try it on myself if you won't," you jokingly scare him, making Shisui run a hand exasperatingly through his hair.

Languidly, your eyes drift to his bare forehead, his forehead protector probably tucked away somewhere until he has to wear it first thing in the morning like it's illegal to leave his house without it (even when off-duty). He's a stupidly proud shinobi like that; not even your younger brother is that obnoxious.

You only wear yours when on missions.

(It's only because of your practiced tolerance for the Konoha emblem why you can stand the sight of the embodiment of Shisui's reason to live.

And soon enough, his reason to die.)

"Are you seriously threatening me with your own safety?" Shisui gives you an incredulous look, a frown already forming on his lips.

"Oh yeah, definitely," you nod sagely, the gesture coming off as mocking. "So you better be afraid for my health."

"You really shouldn't rely too much on the technique. We don't know if this could have long-term effects; not to mention your dependency on it," he sighs tiredly, and you truly wonder why he still chooses to put up with you and your antics. Maybe Itachi's eternal patience rubbed off on him. "Besides, it's already been a year since we've started this compromise. Why ask for an exception now? The next thing I know, you'll ask this of me every week, and then every day."

Well, admittedly, Shisui's concerns aren't unfounded, considering how well he knows you. If his will does bend for you like a chocolate eclair, you'd definitely abuse it to have him perform his sleep genjutsu on you every night.

(You're starting to forget how peaceful sleep usually is. You're often so tired.)

"C'mon, please!~" You beg playfully with a teasing smile. For the sake of dramatics, your eyes flutter pleadingly as you lie on your stomach, placing your chin on your conjoined fingers. "You're the best genjutsu user I know. You wouldn't alter anything in my head that shouldn't be altered. I absolutely, one-hundred percent trust your skills!"

"You're avoiding the question," Shisui chides smoothly, looking down at you, and you should've known that he's now as familiar with some of your tells as you are with his. This friendship thing really is a double-edged sword. Truly unfortunate.

"Hmm..." You hum distractedly, the tone coming off as subdued. "I..."

Normally, when you have to wait until next week for Shisui to give you the greenlight again, you go back to your routine of training until you pass out (much to Shisui's vexation), but...

You don't feel safe at the Uchiha's forest tonight; not after your earlier encounter with Shimura Danzo.

(Who knows whose sharingan he used against Shisui belonged to?)

"I have a feeling that my nightmares will be worse this week," you quietly admit, briefly looking away, your too-wide smile now gone and replaced with a neutral line. With dim desperation, you add, "Just for this week. Please."

Shisui continues staring at you and must have seen something on your face for his strict countenance to practically melt, his eyes softening with–

I'm sick of that look.

"Okay..." He concedes, before walking to his closet to bring out the spare futon you usually use whenever you sleep over. Because you're a rude brat, you just watch Shisui fetch for your bedsheets and pillows, while you contemplate this day's events on his own bed.

Shimura Danzo...

He's definitely a paranoid motherfucker, but fortunately, you're a bit of a paranoid bastard, yourself. That's why you know, despite his invitation, he's afraid of you; of what he doesn't know about you; of what he thinks you can potentially do. He wants you close because that's exactly where he wants his enemies to be.

Because of your rejection, he'll definitely be on an active lookout for your personal training grounds from now on; to spy for any more of your possible secret techniques. You can't have that.

Looks like you'll just have to train further away from the village than usual.

Showing off at the chuunin exams was troublesome, you lament. But definitely not a mistake, if sometime after your next birthday's events align with what you predicted– with what you need to happen.

You'll just have to wait and see.

Eventually, Shisui finishes arranging your futon, placing it right next to his. You just unceremoniously roll from his bed to yours, not having the energy to sit up, much less crawl to it.

Once you've placed yourself comfortably under your covers, you take off the band holding your braided hair and wait.

"Consider this your chuunin promotion gift," Shisui tells you, as he kneels beside your head, his eyes still dark (yet so bright, and Danzo will have one of them one day–).

"Thanks," you say, and you mean it.

"I won't say 'anytime' for this," he reproaches you with an indulgent smile. "This is a one-time thing."

"Pfft– damn, okay," you exhale from your nose in amusement, not expecting the light-hearted gibe. As per habit for the past year, you tell him, "Goodnight, Shisui."

And as usual, he regards you back, the phrase well-practiced on his tongue.

"Goodnight, Kama."

With that, his eyes glow red and your chakra welcomes his with open arms.

~*~*~

The first time you're about to visit Iruka's apartment is when you're helping him in buying groceries and accompanying him to his new home. The newly-promoted chuunin is excited to move out of his cramped genin dorm room, probably celebrating the fact that he no longer has to put up with his roommates.

Of course, with your luck, Iruka's move isn't the highlight of today.

You know you'd eventually run into him one day. The village is big, but not big enough for you to never see a glimpse of the village pariah.

It really was just a glimpse; a passing blur of blond hair and an orange shirt in the crowded marketplace.

Despite the insignificant occurrence, it was enough to dim Iruka's earlier excitement and have him briefly pause from his steps as he stares after the five-year-old protagonist.

Looking at the older boy's solemn face, you ask him an obligatory, "You good?"

"Y-yeah, I just..." He trails off, his eyebrows furrowing in thought.

"You know the kid?" You airily ask, feigning casual interest.

"No. Not really." With that, Iruka looks away from the direction Naruto disappeared to and continues walking, obviously trying to forget the boy, but failing.

"But you already don't like him," you point out, easily matching his pace.

"No!" He immediately denies, then second guesses himself. "I mean– Yes? Kind of? It's kinda complicated and really hard to say but–"

Ah yes, Umino Iruka: heart of gold, ass of dumb, you fondly smile at Iruka's display of awkward clumsiness, watching him incoherently ramble in a poor attempt to explain his reaction towards a random child. It's funny how Iruka thinks you don't know Naruto is the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki, considering that you know more than the chuunin– more than everybody else. And you know this:

Hatred is a personal thing that often stems from fear, and Iruka doesn't hold any of those feelings against a child he doesn't know, regardless who and what that child may be. Dislike, sure, but hate? Not a chance. He's an empathetic idiot, and only the vilest of souls– those who are evil for evil's sake– can earn his genuine resentment. Uzumaki Naruto is anything but that.

(You won't blame him when he'll eventually hate you.)

To save Iruka from further embarrassment, you pretend to think before finally saying something.

"I think I know why you dislike that boy," you muse aloud, and Iruka cuts himself off as he now looks at you with thinly-veiled nervousness. "It's because he's wearing orange and you dislike orange, right?"

"You... You remember that?" Iruka openly gapes at you, not expecting you to recall that trivial detail from his genin introduction.

Shrugging your shoulders, you ignore his remark and continue to your point.

"While the color of that kid's shirt is terrible in your eyes, you can at least trust the clothing maker for the quality of the fabric,"

"Huh?"

"That kid may be wearing orange but he's not orange, himself, y'know?"

"Huh?"

"If anything, I just see a lonely boy starved of attention," you lightly nudge Iruka with a playful smirk, before casually adding, "Hah! Kinda like you!"

"Hu–" At this, Iruka finally snaps out of his confusion, his face scrunching in slight indignation. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

You only tamper down a snicker, as you speed-walk away from the boy.

"Kama!" He chases after you, his earlier scowl turning into a grin, when your speed-walk becomes an impromptu race towards his apartment.

Throughout the race, you ignore some of the surrounding villagers' subtle glares of suspicion eyeing the emblem on your back.

~*~*~

The second time you're about to visit Iruka's apartment is when Hana planned to throw a surprise party for Iruka's birthday (i.e., break into his home and scare the shit out of him, a fellow shinobi, with party poppers, because triggering PTSDs is a 'yeah, vámonos!' around here). Since you have no choice, you're roped into the preparations as well.

You should've escaped attendance while you still had the chance.

Oh to be Inoichi-sensei who's occupied with his duties as head of T&I, preventing him from attending, you lament to yourself. Just so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit.

"HAHAHA! I CAN'T– YOU CAN'T– HAH!"

Unamused, you watch as Hana and Iruka lose their minds at the bowl of rice you attempted to throw away before they could even catch a sight of it. Considering their current reactions, you unfortunately weren't fast enough.

Even Hana's ninken didn't spare your dignity, as they yip a bit too cheerfully at your failure.

Assholes, the lot of them.

"C'mon guys..." You huff, feeling heat creep up on your face.

"THIS IS RICH!" Hana hollers, slamming her fist on the table. "PERFECT PRODIGY KAMA CAN'T COOK RICE!"

"It's not even that funny..." You murmur, looking away, embarrassed.

I can't believe this curse followed me in this life, you think bitterly, remembering how you're banned from approaching any rice cookers in your last life. Ugh, you should've just insisted for Hana to cook the rice, considering you already bought the cake and prepared a homemade meal for the small feast.

"It's like a rock!" Iruka exclaims incredulously, jabbing his chopsticks at the solid shape of the burnt rice.

"Stop roasting Kama's rice!" Hana wheezes, almost crying. "IT'S ALREADY ROASTED ENOUGH!"

Once again, they all howl in laughter, and you resolved to just glare at your sad excuse of a rice serving.

"Man, fuck both of you." You sigh, resigned, feeling the corner of your mouth twitching upwards.

...

Fortunately, their hunger had them move on from your mishap soon enough, and as quick as they were to make fun of your unsuccessful attempt to cook rice, they were also quick to give credit where credit is due.

"Unbelievable," Hana gawks at the beef clasped between her chopsticks, before shoving it in her mouth. "How can you not cook something as simple as rice but can cook this masterpiece?" She gushes, not caring that she's talking with her mouth full. Her partners bark, sharing the same sentiments.

"The beef tongue is really tender, and surprisingly meshes well with the tomato sauce," Iruka praises, no doubt perplexed by your unorthodox (very non-Japanese) stew. "What is this dish?"

"It's just an invention of mine," you simply say, nostalgia simultaneously constricting and hugging your heart with familiarity. "I call it Mechado."

"Can I have the recipe?"

"Depends. Are you gonna live down my rice incident?"

"I'd sooner starve."

"I see that you're a fellow bastard."

...

"Happy sixteenth birthday, Iruka!" Hana greets, before giving him her present– a stash of a month's worth of Ichiraku Ramen coupons, and to your confusion, a bunch of seed packets..?

"How did you get so many Ichiraku coupons?" Iruka asks, baffled as he eyes the thick stack held together with a rubber band.

"I have my ways," she proclaims proudly. "But that doesn't mean that's all you'd eat! That's what the vegetable seeds are for. I have a gut feeling that you have a green thumb, and this way, you won't have to buy them from the market to save up some extra cash."

Ah, looks like Hana is slowly adapting that personality that most medics have.

Mother-hen.

"That's really thoughtful of you," Iruka says, and she beams.

"Mine is still a work in progress," you tell him. "Admittedly, I decided on your gift last-minute, so I should be able to give it to you sometime at the Fireworks Festival."

"That's two months away," Hana says, surprised. "What the hell are you giving him? A house?"

"Hmm," you make a show of thinking thoughtfully, before shrugging. "Nah, it's probably worth more than that."

"Wha–" Iruka splutters.

"How come my birthday gift isn't as grand as his?" Hana whines, and you shoot her with what she calls your 'signature punchable face', which really is just your smug look.

"Isn't it obvious? It's because Iruka is my favorite," you say, and at this, she indignantly yells out,

"Wanna fight?!"

"Kidding," you quickly placate her. "You'll get your grand gift next year."

"Wait, hold on, there's usually a catch to this," Iruka tells Hana, before confronting you. "Kama, are you trying to trap us in a life of debt?" He warily asks you, and you can't help but snort.

"Nothing like that," you lightly reassure him with an amused smile. "I just think you guys are worth it."

Ah...

You're quickly starting to think that you shouldn't have said that with the way they're now openly gawking at you.

They both look like they're ready to cry. Fuck.

"That's the closest we'll ever get of you saying 'I love you'!" Iruka exclaims, pretending to wipe away a tear.

"I can say 'I love you'," you say, slightly affronted.

"But you won't, because you're a cryptic motherfucker like that," Hana says, and you honestly can't think of a comeback for that. "Now, c'mere cryptic motherfucker! Group hug!"

And that's your cue to leave.

Before any of them could have the chance to suffocate you, you body flicker outside Iruka's apartment through his window, only managing to catch faint barks and indignant yells of 'Kama!' and 'Bastard!' when you make a left turn at a street corner.

You know they would give you hell for your abrupt departure one day, but fortunately, today is not that day.

...

Oh, you belatedly realize, once reaching the Uchiha compound, Iruka's now older than me in my first life.

(I remember weeping for a body that will never age past fifteen.)

~*~*~

Sometimes, you wonder what's stopping you from killing Shisui sooner than his destined death.

Guilt didn't stop you from getting rid of Uchiha Izumi.

The Uchiha Massacre would be enough to awaken Itachi's Mangekyou, and he was always meant to walk the path of heartache and lose everyone but his brother.

Hiruzen and Danzo learning about Kotoamatsukami changes nothing; not to mention Danzo did nothing with it until the Kage Summit, and even then, the impact is insignificant enough for it to not happen at all.

Shisui trusts you enough that you could stage his death to whatever narrative you deem appropriate. In fact, having him dead from a mission is a better alternative than a forced suicide where he's stuck between the clan and the village. It would hurt less for Itachi that way, wouldn't it?

So... What's stopping you?

The answer comes one day when you're waking from your afternoon nap in your and Shisui's usual clearing, hair disheveled as you calmly sit up from the thick tree branch you're lying on, the action contradicting your erratically beating heart from your most recent nightmare. Almost instantly, Shisui pauses from performing his katas underneath your tree, and is quick to body flicker next to you, his hands automatically reaching for your hair to fix your braid– it became a ritual of sorts.

Before, he was obvious with his frantic concern, often so loud, asking you unnecessary 'are you okay?'s and 'do you feel better?'s. Now, he's subdued and quiet with his worry, because he can only fret over your usual nightmares so much before he eventually gets tired of it.

But he's never tired of caring.

His fingers brushing your tresses are therapeutic, and you briefly think of the memory when Shisui learned how to braid because he wants to do it for you. Then, you learn that he's just as loud with his affections as he is quiet with them– it is the little things, the small gestures you never noticed before.

Good shinobi tend to be contradictory, because they're good liars.

And Shisui is one of the best Konoha has to offer. Maybe that's why he's such a genius with genjutsu– with tapestries of illusions woven together by the skilled hands of a liar.

But he isn't always a liar.

Otherwise, he would've lied to you about his selfishness, his envy, and the secret to his Mangekyou. Instead, he is honest with his vulnerabilities, and he patiently waits for you to do the same even if the day might never come.

"Will you tell me about your nightmares one day?" He asks, as you feel him divide your hair in three sections.

"Yeah," you say, your mouth dry. "One day."

"Okay," he says and doesn't pry for more, trusting you more than he should that you eventually will.

And that's what I love about him.

You feel your heart skip a beat, before the light feeling starts to weigh heavy.

Oh, you think, finally knowing the answer to the question you whimsically wonder about– the answer that damns you with coldly-drenched anxiety and fear that will soon make an appearance in your next night terrors.

(Isn't it poetic that you will damn him as much as he will damn you?)

You plead, you pray, you beg,

God please don't do this to me.

~*~*~

As Team 4, you celebrate the completion of your last mission together with dinner at the Yamanaka residence.

Usually, chuunin teams last longer than a few months, but apparently, your team is quick to diverge to your own specializations. Considering your sensei is a clan head, it makes sense why the higher-ups are already trying to take you all away from his hands.

Iruka is starting his training to be an academy instructor soon, and Hana is already chosen for an apprenticeship under a medic-nin. As for you, well...

Inoichi-sensei told you that you'll receive some interesting news in a few weeks.

"So, what happened with Natsu-san? Did you finally tell her that she doesn't have a chance with you?" Iruka asks, and you remember that particular conversation from last year.

Long story short: Natsu now breathes the rivalry between the Uchiha and the Hyuuga– or more particularly, just you.

"She despises me now," you shrug with a calm smile, and all of them are quick to do a double-take.

"What? Was your rejection that harsh?" Inoichi-sensei looks so baffled by your casual admission, and is probably already fearing the worst. "Or did you traumatize her to reject her?"

"Okay, first of all, I don't traumatize people," you half-heartedly defend yourself.

"I disagree," Iruka pipes in.

"Everyone is entitled to their opinions," you say. "But you're an exception."

Hana snorts on her glass of water, as Iruka only rolls his eyes.

"Anyway, I just badmouthed Hana to her face," you tell him, before looking at Hana with a smug smile. "She apparently likes you more than she admires me."

With a red face, Hana doesn't linger on that topic and switches to your love life instead.

"And what about the boy you like?" She inquires, and at this, you airily wave a hand around in dismissal.

"Ah..." Shrugging, you say, "Nothing a little heartbreak I can't handle."

...

Despite your supposed paths to successful careers, the celebratory dinner has a tint of melancholy in it, and you have a vague idea as to why.

"... I'll miss working with you guys," Hana admits, her chopsticks clinking inanely against her rice bowl. Then adds, "Even you, Kama."

"Me too," Iruka seconds.

You not-so-stealthily raise a finger at them. Once upon a time, Inoichi-sensei would've scolded you for the gesture, but the wise man knows when one is a lost cause.

"We can always schedule reunion dinners," sensei consoles all of you. "Besides, Hana-kun is training to be a medic-nin, and despite being a veterinarian, she is still to attend hospital shifts as per requirement to all medic-nins."

Oh well. Even if it's a thin chance for any of you to catch Hana on her shift, it's still a chance nonetheless. It's the closest any of you will be together on-duty.

With a mischievous smile, you raise your glass of water up.

"Interesting idea," you say. "Cheers."

Inoichi-sensei seems to be trying to process the implication of what you said and did, then something clicks.

"Wait, no," he's quick to reprimand you. "Kama-kun, that is not an encouragement to be reckless. That is not an encouragement–"

~*~*~

BONUS:

Kama (holding back his laughter while reading Sasuke's heartfelt letter to him outloud): I had a grot tim when I was checkmercet I had las of mak up on my phas

Itachi (pleading for Sasuke's sake): Please don't laugh.

...

Iruka: I am in misery!~

Kama: I save dick by giving it CPR!~

Hana and her ninken: REESE'S PUFFS, REESE'S PUFFS!

...

Kama: I've mastered the art of acting tired instead of admitting I'm sad.

...

Kama: *casually jokes about Iruka's trauma*

Iruka: Ayo what the fuck

...

Inoichi (at some point): What you just experienced is called a traumatic experience.

Inoichi to Iruka: Not 'yikes'.

Inoichi to Hana: Not a 'Major L'.

Inoichi to Kama: And DEFINITELY not 'oof lmao'.

...

Before yall scold me about feeding the Haimaru Brothers human food, they're ninken and I headcanon that they have better constitution than normal dogs that allow them to eat human food.

Once again, this chapter will have a part two and the omake will be in it.

Anyway, sorry for the delayed update, it was finals month so I had to do a lot of outputs for my course; not to mention that I was leader for three different groups in three different subjects. Didn't have much free time, and some of my group's freeloaders are massacring my patience like it's a certain dojutsu clan. Had to do most of the tasks myself, so I burnt myself out oof lol

That aside, I can't wait to write Kama's interlude, as it will recontextualize every important conversation he had. In lies, there are truths, and vice-versa. A lot of what he said/thought has layers. It's the little things, like when Kama starts calling Inoichi "sensei" in his head. Surprisingly, my dumb ass thought this through and god i wish i have the same mentality for my academics lmao.

I'm not sure if yall noticed, but I didn't mention any physical description for Kama– that's intentional. All you know about him is that he mentioned that he has the same appearance from his first life. I guess, to give you guys a hint of his appearance, all I can say is that even in his first life, he doesn't look like his family (but at least he has more similar characteristics to them than he does with the Uchiha family). Why is his physical appearance vague? Well, it has something to do with why the story is being written in second POV.