* sexual content *

Asra was silent, his body rigid above me. I swallowed nervously, waiting for his reaction. A deep rumble started in his chest as he pulled himself from me to stand, my hand slipping from his member. I kept my face soft, trying not to hide the frown that formed from his disappearance.

"Say that again." He clenched his jaw.

"I... want you?" I mumbled.

"How do you want me, Tulip?" He growled, eyes blazing as they locked onto mine.

I gulped, my eyes widening at the intensity behind his expression. My mouth opened with silent words, unsure of what I was asking. I have never asked for it before, never wanted it so much before. It was all new to me. What was I supposed to say?

Asra knelt to my level, bring our faces to the same height. "Do you want me in your mouth, Tulip?"

My breath was shaky when his hand came to cup my jaw, his thumb pulling at my lower lip.

"Or do you want me somewhere else?"

His hand lowered, pulling my lip down until he cupped my jaw, pushing my head back gently until I was staring back up at the moon. My chest was heaving, my naked breasts brushing into his elbow. I automatically grabbed hold of his arm when he pulled my head closer to his. His breath fanned my face, eyes searching mine.

"Which is it, Tulip?"

My eyes dropped to his mouth, and I licked my lips before pressing them against his. He still held me by the throat, and didn't push me away when I forced his mouth to part. He growled, though, causing my heart to pick up the pace. Pushing me away, his fingers flexed, brushing against the mark on my neck. My thighs clenched, hands gripping his taut muscle with desperation.

"Please, Asra." I begged.

Asra's eyes closed for a moment and just when I thought he was going to give in, he stood up. His hand released me and I gasped as my body sagged from the lack of his support. His large stature hovered over me as he seemed to debate with himself for a moment. I watched as he scanned the area, his nostrils flaring and fists clenched.

Suddenly, he was over me and I automatically reached out to prepare myself for his body, pushing me to the ground. It never happened, and instead of being forced to submit, he was pulling me into his arms. The blanket came with us, and I gasped at the clatter of the picnic as it tumbled into a pile.

"Asra!" I shouted, surprised.

He wrapped the blanket around my shoulders, securing my front to his. My legs wrapped around his naked waist and my breasts pushed against his chest, our faces at the same level. The blanket trailed down to his knees from my shoulders, covering everything.

"What are you doing?" I wondered, breathless.

His dark blue eyes met mine with determination. "I am not about to make you mine in the middle of a forest."

I blushed, dropping my gaze to his collarbones. I didn't even think of that being a reason. Darius always took what he wanted, when and where he wanted.

Asra walked back in the direction we came, his warmth warming me to the bones. We were silent, only my racing heartbeat and his short breaths amongst the crunching of sticks and dirt.

He suddenly took a right turn, and I spun my head to see the pack house staying at the same distance. We were walking alongside it, still in the tree lines. It wasn't hard to miss, so I knew it was the right building.

"Where are we going?" I wondered.

"Away from the pack." He grunted, fingers flexing on the back of my thighs.

He picked up his pace, jogging the last few minutes of our journey. I could feel every shift of his body against my bare skin, feel how his muscles contracted. His grip amazed me, his strength so effortless.

We reached a small brick building; a cosy-looking cabin of sorts. The bricks were a dull orange and brown, speckled with white, with a tiled roof. A small chimney stood proudly on the one storey building, a slight step into the threshold and a single window beside the door.

It was quaint.

I rather liked it.

Asra fumbled his hand from out of the blanket, placing his thumb on the front face of what looked like a doorbell. It beeped once, allowing him to take off the front and reveal what was inside; a key.

His shoulders and back were tense, a slightly agitated scowl on his face as he fought to get the key in the door. I looped my hands around his neck and I gave his shoulder a tight squeeze. He looked at me from the corner of his eye just as the door swung open. My nose detected a musky scent, showing it had been unoccupied for some time.

He flicked some switches inside a fuse box before turning on the light and, with a groan and flicker, the entire room lit up. From the front door, we stepped straight into the living area. There was a cream three seater sofa with soft grey cushions on either arm,. A tartan blanket lay across the back of it and it all sat facing a traditional fireplace. The furniture was covered with a dust sheet, so I was right in assuming nobody lived here.

Asra turned slightly, locking the door before leading me through the living room and into another room. Turning the light on, I stared into a double bedroom. The bed was wooden with another dust sheet covering it and a chest of drawers under a double window. There were no bedsheets, or even curtains, and Asra cursed at the realisation.

"How about you go into the bathroom and have a moment for yourself? I will sort this out, get the fire going." He suggested, pulling my chin to face him.

I smiled, nodding gently as he set me down. I could do with using the toilet and have a minute by myself. I appreciated it and told him so before locking myself in the bathroom. It was a simple white sink, shower over bath, and toilet. I took my time in there, pulling the blanket tight around my body to fight the cold air. There was a small window, barely big enough for my body to fit through, but otherwise, everything was simple.

I liked this place a lot.

Running the tap, it groaned loudly before spurting out brown water. I grimaced, staring down at it as it struggled to start. After a few more moments, it groaned once more before clean, cold water came. I shook my head, stifling a laugh at the attempt of the old silver tap until it warmed. Once warm, I washed myself from the dirt that accumulated on my hands and arms. In doing so, the blanket fell from my shoulders, hitting the ground with a soft thud.

I hesitated, staring at myself in the mirror. The tap continued to gush water, and I sighed, turning it off before wiping my hands on the blanket. I stood before the mirror, staring at myself. My skin was pale and littered with small scars, Asra's claim being one of them. My fingers pried at my collarbone before pulling at the skin along my stomach.

My head cocked, dropping lower. I wasn't sure what Asra, a man of exceptional beauty and status, saw in a human like me. I wasn't the most beautiful. My hair was wild and an unusual colour, my skin pale and eyes too blue. My rib cage and hips were wide, my breasts not that large. I had gained weight since moving here, noticeable by the soft flesh of my stomach.

Would he even want to go through this with me? To have to look at me in such a way... Darius never complimented me, only in front of others, and even then I knew it wasn't true. He liked to pick at me, to point out my flaws.

I turned myself to the side, palming at the scarring along my shoulders and down my spine. My skin tingled with the memory of the glass, knives and nails that would dig into my skin. My hips ached with the ghost of bruised touches... I was a mess.

My body wasn't perfect. At all.

A knock sounded on the wooden door, Asra's voice floating through. "Are you okay in there, Tulip?"

I cleared my throat, snapping my eyes away from the mirror. "Y-yeah, I'm okay."

"Come out when you're ready... If you want." He cleared his throat.

If I want? Was he backing out now?

My nerves grew as I placed the blanket back around my shoulders. Turning off the light, I opened the door and left the bathroom. The bedroom had been transformed. A candle sat on the bedside table, the bed itself now covered in dark blue sheets and pillows. There was a small fireplace I hadn't noticed before, casting the room in a soft orange glow. It flickered and crackled, slowly filling the room with warmth.

"Where did the sheets come from?" I asked quietly.

"I had someone bring them." Asra rubbed the back of his neck.

They must've run fast.

He was still naked, and I appreciated the soft tan of his skin before the fire. He stood by the windows, still curtainless. I could see the dark sky in the distance, the glowing of the stars... It was oddly cosy, reminding me of a place I could call home.

"I apologise for the state of this place... It is nothing like back home, we can always go to the pack house and-

"It's perfect." I shook my head, interrupting. "I mean... I like this place."

He relaxed, grinning. "Really? It's not too... small? Dingy?"

"Dingy?" I laughed, pulling the blanket tighter. "No, it's cosy, it's simple."

Asra's eyes watched me, his head cocking with a questionable expression. I stared back at him, wondering what he was thinking, as a small laugh bubbled out of his chest.

"Good, I'm glad it's okay." He murmured, walking toward me.

He placed a hand on my hips, thumb rubbing my skin through the blanket. I gazed up at him as his other hand cupped the side of my head. I leaned into his touch, enjoying the warmth and tingling of his skin.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Not changed your mind?" He asked, eyes searching my face.

My heart fluttered, my stomach doing flips. If Asra liked me, no matter what I looked like, then he surely wouldn't back down.

I smiled softly, and his eyes locked onto the movement. "I've not."

Those night skies closed for a moment as he exhaled heavily. The hand on my hip tightened, pulling me toward him. I placed my hands on his bare chest, my heart racing as he pulled my face to his. Our lips collided, growing like an intense fire that I couldn't control. I moaned into his mouth, accepting the battle of his tongue with mine.

The blanket fell to the floor as he scooped me back around his waist. I arched into him, accepting my fate as he carried me over to the bed. Parting our lips, he climbed onto the mattress and set me down. I blushed as I fell amongst the soft pillows, his body coming to hover over mine.

"You can back out any time you want. Just tell me, Tulip." He muttered, pushing my hair behind my ears.

I awkwardly nodded, and he chuckled before pecking my lips. I went to accept more, but his mouth moved, trailing down my jaw. He licked and sucked at the skin along my throat before pressing a soft kiss to my mark. Sparks shot down my spine and I moaned, arching my body in his as my hands clutched at his chest.

His responding growl only seemed to spur on the fire, and as his hands met my clothed core, it intensified. He rose, sitting on his ankles as he gently dragged my underwear down my legs. I blushed, averting my gaze as he dropped them to the floor.

Where had my 'nudist' behaviour gone now? Why did Asra's gaze make me feel so...flustered?

"Eyes on me, Tulip." He mumbled.

I chewed my lips, struggling to make the eye contact as he dropped his fingers to my heat.

"Ailia..." He grumbled, lowering himself and kissing my clit. "I want you to watch me."

I shuddered a breath as his lips brushed me again, unused to the feeling. I forced myself to look, to find him staring up at me from between my thighs. He grinned, hooking my legs around his shoulders as he moved in. One hand pushed my hips down, the other wrapped around one of my thighs.

"Relax, Tulip. I got you."

I couldn't relax, my spine rigid and thighs attempting to squeeze him to death. I couldn't do this. What if I was bad? What if he didn't enjoy it? I was naked; I was ugly... He was right there, staring up at the ugly pouch of skin on my stomach, at my three chins and every little freckle and mark...

Why did this bother me so much? Why did I care what Asra thought about me?

Was I truly starting to have feelings towards this man? Did his opinion matter than much to me?

I wasn't breathing, nerves of the inevitable clutching at me. I felt my heart palpitate as blood rushed through my ears. Asra frowned, noticing the change before the dull headache of him inside my head took over. He rose from between my thighs, dropping them to lie on top of me again.

Asra growled, shaking his head. "Don't think of yourself that way, Tulip. You are beautiful, believe me, baby."

Baby. Beautiful?

I flushed, my stomach doing somersaults at his softness.

"I love your every curve, your every mark. I love the wildness of your hair, the sneaky quirk in your eyes and the way you bite your lips when you feel too much of an emotion." He murmured, kissing my nose as tears brimmed in my eyes. "I love your wit, your willingness to bite back, but most of all, I love you, Ailia. I have grown to love you for everything thing you are."

He loved me.

Did he just say that?

My eyes widened, emotion bubbling in my chest. No one, no one other than my father, ever told me they loved me. I have felt nothing close to love since his passing. I guess I loved my sister, and I thought I loved Darius, but... It was never true.

Is this what these emotions and feelings were? Is this what love was?

Asra continued, distracting my train of thoughts and plunging me into a fairy tale.

"Every mark, every scar, is proof of what you have gone through in your life. You carry them with you, they hurt you, they affect you just as they do everyone else," He continued. "I see it as this. If something breaks, you can always glue the pieces back together, but there will still be small pieces missing, cracks that can't be filled, and scars that show where you were broken. That's just how it is. It's how we all are."

I felt tears burning in my eyes again, but I fought them back with an obnoxious sniff. I would not cry when I was about to give him my damn everything. As much as his words affected me... I had to be... strong, right? But... Asra... he made me feel strong, anyway. He... He made me feel.

"Asra..." I began.

"No more of this soppy crap, Tulip. We have our whole lives for that." He chuckled. "So... do you want me to continue with my mouth or my fingers?"

I couldn't bite back the grin, a small laugh escaping me. He sure knew how to divert a topic.

"Fingers... for now... I'm... I'm not confident in... that yet." I muttered, embarrassed.

He cupped my jaw, shaking his head. "We all have our limits, Tulip... Now... Where were we..."