Eren's been in love with Levi for as long as he can remember.

Since the first time he can remember walking the streets with their mothers in a Ninja Turtle costume, going from door to door and receiving a large assortment of candy that he wasn't allowed to have more than two pieces of a day of until it was gone. Since the time he was stung by a bee right between his shoulder blades when he was six and had a near deadly allergic reaction. Since the two of them sped down the street on their tricycles, and then bicycles with training wheels, and then wobbling across the driveway once the training wheels were removed and both of them ended up with scrapes and scabs on their knees and palms. Since the first time he remembered being dazzled by the multicolored twinkling lights on the tall white tree in the corner of their living room, when they would sit betwixt it and the fireplace wrapped in blankets with cups of cocoa, the marshmallows long since dissolved, and his mother reading The Night Before Christmas, and then going to bed together but not being able to sleep for a long while as they waited excitedly, impatiently for St. Nicholas to bring the presents they'd tear into the next morning.

Since he watched Levi's plane take off at the airport on a hot summer afternoon when they were seven, bound for somewhere far across the country and never to return...

Of course, he may not have been in love, but Eren knew he'd always loved his dark-haired childhood companion more than words could ever do justice. Until the moment his plane departed, Levi had been part of Eren's life every day; he remembers their mothers joking about how they were 'joined at the hip'. They'd played together, gone to school together, done virtually everything together. And then Levi moved away, and Eren was heartbroken.

It's been thirteen years since then...

~

"Hey Eren! Welcome to Frantically Study for Finals Club. What can I get you?"

Eren snorts and rolls his eyes at the joke. "Hey, Marco. Just a Peppermint Mocha will do," he says. "Grande."

"Comin' right up," says the freckle-face as he slides the red paper cup from the stack and sharpies Eren's name and the order across it before taking payment. "So, you here to study like everybody else?"

"Yeah," Eren sighs, leaning a hip against the granite countertop. As usual for this time of year, the little cafe is filled with college students with their noses in books, fingers pecking away at keyboards, and absently sipping at hot drinks. "Finals are brutal."

"Tell me about it." Marco gets to work making the drink. "At least you've got the time to study. I'm stuck working here and have to cram after I get off."

"Ah, that sucks," Eren says with a rueful smile.

"Yeah, but I'll manage. Gotta make the bucks, y'know? Help support my family and all." Marco speaks as he mixes the drink. Eren watches as he squirts a perfect dollop of whipped cream and sprinkles the little peppermint chocolate pieces Eren likes so much on top. Call him cliche, but he practically lives for Peppermint Mochas around the holidays. "Here ya go," says Marco as he places the drink on the counter in front of his brunette friend.

"Thanks. And good luck."

"You too, Eren." Marco's departing gesture is a lively smile and a small salute before Eren turns away with his coffee to find a vacant seat to occupy. To his fortune, there's an open table near the wall opposite the door. He slides into the booth with a tired sigh and begins pulling his study materials out of his bag - one of the largest textbooks he'd ever had the displeasure of carting around on his back daily and a notebook about half its thickness, already halfway filled with loads of notes from endless lectures and studying, studying, studying. But when you're a sophomore in college majoring in the medical field, hours and hours lost to studying is inevitable.

Taking a tentative sip of his coffee - it was still a bit too hot and stung the tip of his tongue (but he couldn't deny it was delicious) - Eren rolls his shoulders and starts flipping through the textbook. With a deep breath and a pencil poised between his fingers, he dives into a long session. As he studies, the rest of the shop fades out of focus, allowing him to concentrate on a long chapter about CPR.

By the time he's finished and looks up and stretches a bit, most of the cafe has cleared out save for one or two still cramming. Marco is still behind the counter, wiping it down for seemingly lack of a better thing to do, as no one new has walked in...

...until the bell chimes signaling the door opening and in walks a single person. Eren's too busy cracking his knuckles against his thigh and finishing off the last of his coffee to notice too much who it is. He begins packing away his things, figuring Starbucks won't be open too much later and noting how he's in need of a shower, to get home and feed Luna, and to eat dinner himself.

With a heavy sigh, he hefts himself to his feet and moves toward the trashcan to dump his cup. His ears pick up the sound of the person's voice who'd walked in ordering his drink, and heads to the counter to say farewell to Marco. He hovers back for a moment, waiting for his friend to finish making the man's drink; when he sets it on the counter and tells the customer to have a nice night with his friendly (but tired) smile, the man simply nods and turns.

And for a second, just for a split second as he turns back toward the door, Eren's eyes meet the stormy gray ones he swore he'd never forget.

He's dazed for a moment, staring after the man as he departs the cafe without a backwards glance. Eren's mind is completely blank and he's unable to make sense of what had just happened...or anything, really, until Marco's voice snaps him out of it.

"Headed home for the night, Eren?"

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. I am," he says, tearing his eyes away from the door. The man is long gone.

"Did you know him or something?" Marco asks, also giving the door a quick glance.

"Er...no, I don't think so. I just wanted to say goodnight, see ya tomorrow, and good luck."

"Oh, alright." Marco's smile is genuine as ever, though it's clear he's indisposed and as ready to go home as anyone left still cramming for finals. "Goodnight, then. And good luck yourself."

"Thanks." Eren returns the smile. "I'm gonna need it."

With that, he departs the cafe. All the way home, his mind refuses to forget that oh-so brief eye contact with that stranger. It was nothing more than a tiny second among thousands, even millions of seconds in the world, and yet it's engraved front and center in his mind. He can't shake it, and he can't convince himself it wasn't who he thought it was.

It wouldn't be the first time Eren had thought he'd seen Levi since the day his childhood friend left him behind. In fact, for a while it had happened often and each time he'd been disappointed, whether it was seeing someone with the same general facial structure, same color hair or hairstyle (though he can't imagine why anyone but a seven-year-old would want a thick black mop on their head like Levi had), the same sort of demeanor, even the same eye color. Ever since he was a child, Eren has kept tucked away in his mind the tiniest of details of the one he called best friend since he learned how to say it. He truly had sworn never to forget those things, though over the years those memories faded and while he could still conjure up those gritty memories, he often questioned how accurate they really were.

Those eyes, though...they were uncanny. Striking. To Eren, unforgettable.

Could it really have been...?

"No," he says aloud to the interior of his Cadillac. It wasn't him. You've had these 'scares' before. Besides, you need to be focusing on finals, not some stranger you saw in a coffee shop who just happened to have the same color eyes as him...

It's been years, though, since the last time he thought he saw Levi. Years. And he'd lost hope before even then that his best friend would ever return to Trost City.

~

The next day begins the last day of Frantically Study for Finals Week (as Marco so cleverly put it) and, as usual, the lounge and most currently unused classrooms are filled with everyone doing just that - frantically studying, provided they aren't in class (where most teachers allow for study time, anyway).

Eren himself, for once, is an exception. He's headed for the enrollment office for last minute volunteer work - something he'd signed up for at the beginning of the semester that counted as an extra credit. While he can squeeze a little more studying in, the time cannot have been more convenient, as he's gone over every chapter he needed at least three times and could stand a break. He'd heard it was only giving another couple of students the tour again for when they started the following semester; it was something he's done what feels like a hundred times. Simple.

"Ah, Eren, glad you could make it," the enrollment secretary, Ms. Brzenska, greets him upon arrival. "With finals starting tomorrow, no one else is all that available."

"No problem," Eren says casually as he watches the bespectacled woman sort through a few papers, stack them, and pass them over the desk.

"I only need you to give a student a tour of the campus," she explains. She nods over toward her left, somewhere behind Eren, and he turns to find the student he'll be giving said tour to.

To the same person he saw at Starbucks yesterday, with those same slate gray irises...

The brunette stops short for a split second. The dark-headed guy is staring at him, too, with what seems like the same amount of bewilderment and disbelief plastered onto the simple expression of a frown, thin black brows pulled together in a crease.

He's got those same eyes. The same ivory skin tone Eren remembers. The same shade of raven black locks, although styled differently. The same thick lashes and straight nose.

In just that split second, Eren feels as if his entire being light up with joy, though not without confusion and, admittedly, a bit of uneasiness. Because now he's certain - this is the boy he'd been longing to see again for thirteen years. Only he's no longer a boy. And neither is Eren himself.

"H-hello," Eren stammers. He feels his smile comes a little too easily. The other rises from his chair and they shake hands. "I'm Eren." But...you might already know that. Of course, Eren has no idea whether or not this man recognizes him...

"Levi," says the other in a smooth, deep voice that sends a pleasant shiver down Eren's back.

It's you! Eren screams from the inside. It's you, and I've been waiting so long to see you again! He wants to throw his arms around the other, whom he's noted is considerably shorter. But, of course, he refrains.

His heart is pounding, pounding, pounding, his stomach fluttering in nervous, excited delight. His mind is having trouble believing this is all truly happening. Only in moments of deep slumber has Eren been reunited with Levi. None of those reunions ever started out like this, but in the moment, does it really matter? Because Levi really is standing right in front of him, and the warmth of his hand as they shook was very, very real. This time Eren knows he isn't dreaming.

"Let's get started," Eren invites, tilting his head toward the door of the office before he leads Levi back out into the hallway.

The brunette doesn't know what to do. He begins the tour as normal, explaining the way the room numbers work, showing him the lounge and explaining how things work. They even trek outside into the cold (with Levi's consent, of course) where he shows him the quad and such. And the entire time he's internally freaking out. His mind continues to scream, It's him! It's him! But he doesn't know if he can act upon knowing this. Doesn't know if Levi remembers him, too...if Levi even remembers the scrawny, mop-headed kid who liked to play in the mud from when he was a child. Doesn't know if Levi cherishes those memories like Eren himself does. And in some ways, it hurts.

"Pretty fancy place," Levi's commenting as they retreat back inside, back into the warmth.

Eren huffs a bit, rubbing his palms together to generate heat. "Yeah, they like to give their students the best treatment possible," Eren explains. "Guess you could say we sorta get treated like paying customers."

"Are we not, though?" Levi muses.

Eren chuckles softly. "I guess we are, in a sense..." He stops at a large set of doors. "This is the library," he says, pulling one of the doors open and holding it as Levi steps through it. Eren follows behind; the door shuts soundlessly behind them. A few students have taken refuge in here, occupying the tables, beanbag chairs, and computers to do their studying. Aside from the soft tapping of keys or the occasional crinkle as a page is turned, even the faint scratching of a pencil on paper, the room is silent. The librarian, Hanji (who explains to everyone they will only respond by being called that name, no prefix), glances up and peers at them over their glasses. When they see it's Eren, they smile but press a finger to their lips, indicating the obvious - that they should be quiet.

"Works like a normal library," Eren explains softly, "You just need your student ID to check something out. You can only have ten books checked out at a time."

"Only ten?" Levi scoffs in a whisper. He's still got the sass Eren remembers...

Eren only nods. He's working tirelessly on the inside to keep his feelings in check, to make sure he doesn't say something stupid or out of the ordinary. By now, he thinks, it's safe to assume Levi doesn't remember him, and that fact leaves a heavy ache in his chest. The person he'd been wanting to see for thirteen years, finally back, and he doesn't even remember him...

At least you got to see him again, whispers something inside the brunette. Still, it's disappointing...

"Ah, something important you should know," Eren hushes, retreating down one of the tall aisles where dark wooden shelves harbor hundreds upon hundreds of books. (Really, the library's pretty big.) He indicates a book on the end where the last name begins AB. "The books are organized backwards," he explains. "It goes from A to Z by author name from right to left instead of left to right."

"And why's that?" Levi whispers.

Eren shrugs. "Don't know. It's always been that way, but it's probably Hanji's doing. They're a little...off." He smiles a bit, though. Eren's fond of Hanji as he is the hundreds of books on these shelves.

"Hanji?"

"The librarian." Eren tilts his head in the direction of the front desk.

"I see..."

"Yeah." Eren continues down the aisle, eyes scanning over the spines of the books as they go through the alphabet. "I guess it doesn't really matter how they're organized, though, so long as they're organized."

"Sort of like putting your socks on the wrong feet?" Levi inquires from behind.

Eren starts to chuckle before what Levi just said sinks in. Socks on the wrong feet...

The brunette practically whirls around, eyes wide with hope filling his heart. He stares down at Levi in disbelief. His mouth has popped open, but he can't muster up any words. All he's got is a fleeting memory of his tiny, five-year-old self pointing at Levi's socked feet and exclaiming, "Your socks are on the wrong feet!" To which Levi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms before scoffing, "It doesn't matter which feet your socks go on, dummy!" This erupted giggles from both of them, and they'd joked about it ever since.

"You remember!" Eren says in full volume.

Levi's thin, seemingly pampered brows lift at the same time a sharp "shh!" sounds from the direction of the circulation desk. Eren's mouth immediately snaps shut, but he can't take his eyes from the short raven.

"And apparently so do you," whispers Levi, expression softening a bit, his usually hard gray eyes liquefying.

"O-of course I do! I just didn't think you did, so I didn't say anything..."

Levi gives a small nod. "Same here. But I figured I might as well test it."

Eren's smile is thousand watt and he has to resist the urge to throw his arms around Levi and spin him in a circle, laughing all the way with happy tears streaming from his eyes while he told him how dearly he missed him.

But that would be strange, and definitely isn't the type of thing to do in a library. So he settles for a smile that made his cheeks sore, earning a bit of a scowl from the shorter. Still, there's something akin to a sparkle in those slate gray eyes Eren had been missing for so long.

"Come on," says Levi, jerking his chin toward the door as he turns. "I think we have some catching up to do."

Eren, so happy he could cry, eagerly follows Levi from the library and back into the hall where they aren't required to be so quiet. They move a ways away from the large double doors before Eren pipes up, "Are you hungry? I still need to show you the mess hall, so we could catch up there..."

"Alright."

Fortunately, the mess hall isn't too far away from the library and they make it there within a minute.

"So," Levi begins once they're seated comfortably at a table near a large window, where outside small flurries are beginning to find their way to the ground. "You got taller." His gaze holds steady with Eren's as his hands are clasped around a mug of chai tea (all he wanted, or so he said).

Eren chuckles. "So did you. Only...not as much."

Levi makes an annoyed clicking sound with his tongue. "Is that a short joke?"

"Kinda," Eren admits, but he's always been blunt. If Levi's any fraction of who he used to be, he'll know Eren doesn't mean ill of it.

And he does.

"So then, how have you been?" inquires the raven.

"Uhm, pretty good," Eren says. He can't seem to stop beaming; his cheeks are starting to become sore. "What about you?"

"Decent," Levi murmurs.

Eren nods just hard enough for his hair to fly a bit. Excitement seems to be running through his veins like adrenaline. "When did you get back to Trost City?"

"Little over a year ago," he says. "But I've been going to school over at Shinganshina Community College. Finally finished up over there, so I'm transferring so I can start for real."

"What's your major?"

"Theater," Levi says coolly. "Yours?"

"Medicine."

"Hmm. So you wanna be a doctor."

"Close. EMT."

Levi nods thoughtfully. With that they launch into a conversation, catching up briefly over the past thirteen years. Unexpectedly, the exchange harbors no awkwardness. In some ways, to Eren, it feels as if Levi had never left, as if they'd been friends their entire lives. In other, bigger ways, however, so much has changed. Still, he feels himself hanging off every last one of Levi's words, soaking them in and trying to remember them. Trying to rememorize the sound of his voice (so much deeper than the childish one he remembered, deeper than his own, but smoother; it's...attractive, he must admit), the way he speaks and how he lifts his teacup to his lips by the top rather than the handle.

Is it possible...I still have feelings for him?

"So what are you doing for the holidays?" Eren asks, glancing out at the falling snow, wetting the sidewalks in tiny speckles. All across campus, evergreen trees sport soft white lights, some twinkling and some not. The entire campus has been decorated for the holidays - Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, even Yule. Somehow it gives off a peaceful vibe in the midst of finals stress hanging thick in the air.

"Hm, supposedly my girlfriend has something 'special' planned for me," Levi mumbles, following the brunette's gaze out the window.

Eren feels his heart lurch a bit. "Girlfriend?" he asks.

"Mhm. She's still got a semester left at SCC before she transfers."

"Oh..." Eren's smile suddenly feels very plastic, very forced. Fortunately, it doesn't seem Levi has picked up on this. "Is she transfering here?"

"Not sure yet."

"I see." Eren quickly takes a sip of his coffee. His heart suddenly feels constricted by chains.

Of course Levi would have a girlfriend. He's striking in looks. He hasn't got the most charismatic personality, nor is he the most sociable person (from what little Eren has picked up from a simple conversation after thirteen long years), but there's something mysterious about him. Something deeper hidden just beneath the surface of those stormy eyes. And if Eren feels such a way about him, why wouldn't some other girl who's gotten the opportunity to get to know him, while Eren clearly hasn't? He probably isn't interested in the same sex, anyway...

You're being silly, Eren, the brunette chides himself internally. You hardly know him anymore. It's silly to have such childish feelings and thoughts.

Levi in turn asks Eren what his holiday plans are, to which Eren replies with a quipped 'nothing' before deciding they should get back to the enrollment office to end the 'tour'. As they depart each other's presence, Eren still has to resist the urge to pull Levi into a bear hug (girlfriend or not, he's still incredibly happy to have been reunited with someone he'd longed to see for over a decade) and holds his hand out for a shake instead.

Back in the library, he buries himself in chapter 12 of his EMT textbook to distract himself from his thoughts, that he knows will find their way to the front of his mind sooner or later.

The next day begins finals, and for Eren, they're a mess. Throughout the day, his mind struggles back and forth between the material he's supposed to be focused completely on, and Levi, Levi, Levi.

He's back! his mind repeats over and over. He's back! You actually got to see him again!

He stares and stares at the numbers and formulas typed neatly across the page, but they suddenly don't make an ounce of sense. An image of Levi's face, instead, takes hold of his attention. He struggles to plug the numbers into the formulas, to keep his concentration and his attention off his vortex of feelings. He can't seem to remember parts of particular procedures, and ends up chewing the end of his pencil as a result.

In the end, he manages to pass every final, and considers himself lucky. The day after the results are posted, he and his friends go out to celebrate at one of their favorite restaurants.

"We passed!"

The chorus of happy voices is followed by the clanking of glasses and quiet cheers before nine glasses are held to nine pairs of lips, each filled with things varying from Sprite to Champagne and red wine. Eren himself has a simple Coke, while his sister next to him sips some sort of wine. Blush, she called it as she ordered, flashing her ID to ensure she is, indeed, of proper drinking age.

Happy conversation about finals and Winter Break plans break out across the table. Eren himself chatters away with Armin, though he's doing more listening than he is talking. Armin babbles on about how he'll be spending the holidays down south with his family, where there will "positively not be a flake of snow". Armin hates snow.

Once the waitress walks away after taking their orders is when he sees it. The shiny dark head. The short stature. The black scarf. He's holding hands with a petite girl with shoulder-length reddish blonde hair, clipped back from her face with a pin sporting a red poinsettia. She has a pleasant face and a constant smile in her eyes, a color Eren can't determine at such a distance. She wears a white sweater and jeans and a scarf matching Levi's. She's definitely pretty, but she looks extremely out of place next to the stoic, expressionless person she's holding hands with.

After a moment he manages to tear his eyes away, coming back into a conversation he knows next to nothing about. Sasha seems to be going on and on about her Hanukkah traditions with her family on one end of the table while at the other end Armin, Mikasa, and Jean (who's had his googly eyes all over Eren's sister since the moment they sat down) seem to be discussing whether or not they like snow and why.

Dinner goes smoothly and Eren manages to jump back into the conversation with ease, eating his grilled chicken all the while. Still, Levi's presence never slips away from part of his consciousness; he's fully aware of the dark-haired man sitting several tables over, across from his girlfriend. He refrains from looking over too often; he isn't sure Levi has noticed his presence, and for some reason because of the strawberry blond, he intends to keep it that way.

Eren and his friends take turns getting up to pay their portion of the bill, split six different ways (much to the waitress's chagrin when she was told), and when Eren's up, he saunters over to the cash register near the door chewing absently on his lip. The woman at the counter greets him in a friendly manner, he signs the check, and turns around to head back to the table...

...only to nearly run right into Levi. He lets loose a quiet yelp and steps back.

"Sorry," he says.

"'S fine," Levi says. "Sup?"

"Nothing. Just...eating."

"I would assume so," Levi snickers. He moves around Eren to pay his own bill, and the brunette finds the girl he was with is nowhere to be seen. He stands there feeling like an idiot until Levi's finished, tucking the receipt neatly in his sleek black wallet and pocketing it; raises his brows when he finds Eren still to be standing there.

"Something wrong?" asks the raven.

"Uhm, no," Eren says. Smiles. "Just...did you come here alone?" He internally smacks himself.

"No. I was with my girlfriend."

Eren nods, his head bowing a little too dramatically. He forces himself to hide the disappointment he feels. "So where is she?"

"Went to start the car to warm it up," Levi explains.

"Oh. I see."

Silence falls over their miniscule bubble of conversation. Eren rocks forward on his toes, his hands stuffed into his back pockets, lips pressed together.

"Well, I guess I'll be going, then," Levi says, beginning to back toward the door. "It was...nice to see you."

"Wait!" Eren blurts, and scrambles internally to think of something to say as Levi lifts his brows in question. "Uhm, we should exchange numbers? I mean, to catch up a little more..."

Levi seems to contemplate for a moment before saying a soft, "alright" and pulling his phone from his pocket. They trade numbers and Levi goes on his way while Eren practically stumbles back to his friends, hands shaking and heart pounding with the strangest feeling of bliss hovering around him.

* * *

Eren's lying across his bed, his hand absently stroking the back of his corgi, who's curled up next to him and sleeping soundly. It's Christmas eve, and he's got nothing to do. All his friends are spending the day with their families; his parents, being marine biologists, are all the way in Australia, and his sister is on a Christmas Eve date. Thus, he's left with nothing to do and no one to talk to.

He watches the snowflakes fall past his mildly foggy window, visible by street lights. The ground has already been covered in six inches of the fluffy white sparkles, but it's been on and off for weeks. He can just see the tops of the evergreen trees across the street, covered from top to bottom in twinkling lights. The entire town has been decorated all out with decorations of the sort.

Careful not to wake the dog, Eren sits up and gazes out the window. Being on the fifth floor of his apartment building and with a west-facing window, he can see nearly the entirety of Trost City. House decorations are scattered throughout the neighborhood, some brighter than others. While the roads and sidewalks are mostly clear, pretty much every other surface holds a smooth layer of snow. Occasionally a flake will catch light from a street lamp or the decorative Christmas lights, giving the already peaceful scenery an even more Christmassy feel.

Eren lets out a light sigh. "Some Christmas Eve," he mumbles.

Almost as soon as the words are out of his mouth, his phone buzzes on the bed beside his thigh. He glances down to find it lit up with a text message from...

Levi!

Eren's stomach lurches, his heart stutters and picks up the pace. Levi has been in every other one of his thoughts since they were reunited, and he can't help but to be excited about being contacted by him, childish as it may seem...

But it's Christmas Eve. And...the day before his birthday. What could he...?

The brunette shakes his head and unlocks the phone to read the message.

From: Levi {6:33 PM}
Hey. You busy?

Eren scrambles to reply.

Me {6:34 PM}
Nope. What's up?

From: Levi {6:37 PM}
Shitty night. Wanna do something?

Eren's brows knit together at the 'Shitty night', but he can't help but reply with, 'Sure :)' and then send his address upon request.

From: Levi {6:48 PM}
K. Be right over.

As soon as Eren's cleared the text message, he's all but lurching out of bed, startling Luna awake in the process. He spares her a quick apology and a kiss on the head before striding quickly out of his bedroom. He doesn't know what Levi has in mind for them to do, if anything, but he knows he's got to tidy up the place a bit. He's mostly got scattered papers from the mail cluttering up the empty space on his kitchen counter next to the microwave and a mess of textbooks, notebooks, and stray papers strewn about the 'dining' table. He works to stack things and put them in a more orderly fashion and hefts the schoolwork into his room to simply leave it on his (tiny) computer desk and shut the door, making a mental note not to invite Levi into his room (not that he would, anyway...?).

He can't imagine why Levi wants to hang out with him, of all people, on the night before Christmas, especially when he can be spending time with his girlfriend or family. Still, Eren can't find it within himself to argue or question it enough to make himself suspicious. Besides, hasn't he been dying to spend time with his old friend, anyway...?

"And it's just because we're old friends," he tells himself aloud. "No other reason."

But still, somewhere deep down he knows he's lying to himself. Knows he still harbors feelings deeper than that of a platonic relationship, and that he always has. And knows that those feelings are futile, that they'll never amount to anything.

Three short knocks sound at his door nearly twenty minutes after the short text conversation, and with a pounding heart and a stomach full of circus animals, Eren strides over to the door and pulls it open without bothering to check through the peephole as he normally would have.

Out in the hall, sure enough, stands a snow-dusted Levi. The flakes in his hair are already beginning to melt while on his shoulders, covered by a stylish black coat, the shape of each and every unique flake can be distinguished. His hands rest casually in his pockets and his face is reserved as ever. The sight of him causes Eren's poor little heart to ache, in both bad and good ways.

"Hey," says the brunette. "Come on in."

Levi offers a quipped, "Thanks" as he steps into the apartment past the brunette, who soundlessly pushes the door shut.

Levi scours the place briefly, humming under his breath.

"So, what's up?" Eren asks for lack of anything better to say.

"Nothing, really." The raven wanders toward the corner of the room where a small, four foot tall Christmas tree stands joyfully on a stand. The lights blink every so often, and the star on top lights up the corner between the walls and the ceiling. "Pretty," he comments.

"Thanks," Eren says with a small smile.

"Although the white isn't very traditional."

Eren chuckles, habitually rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I know. But I always wanted a white Christmas tree with colored lights." And he did. He liked the way the lights glinted off the white of the branches; he'd added red garland, too, red being his favorite color. But he felt no need to tell Levi these pointless little details.

"So you still love Christmas more than anything?" Levi asks. There's a hint of amusement in his tone, and Eren can't be totally certain if he's being sarcastic or not until he turns around, the faintest ghost of a smile playing at this lips. He is, but it's playful. Lighthearted.

"Yeah," Eren says, his own grin widening.

"Hmm. Same old Eren."

The brunette simply shrugs. He revels in how simple conversation with Levi is despite the almost ravenous fluttering of his stomach and the elevated beating of his heart in the man's presence.

Suddenly, a tan form emerges from the hallway. Stump of a tail wiggling, Luna pads over to Levi to sniff the new person in her home. Eren's just about to apologize and call her away when Levi's smile grows a bit and he kneels down to let her sniff his hand. Her large ears perk up as she inspects him; she happily obliges when he offers to pet her, ruffling said ears and scratching behind them.

"You still like dogs?" Eren muses.

"More than people," Levi confirms. "Name?"

"Luna. She was my mom's before she and my dad went traveling together."

Levi hums, continuing to give the corgi the attention she adores.

"So, how come you didn't have anything planned?" Eren asks.

"I did," Levi says, standing. All traces of the amusement in his features vanish, just like that, and it's clear he's suddenly having trouble meeting Eren's eyes. He occupies himself with striding over to the couch and take a seat.

"What happened?"

"I...was supposed to attend a Christmas party over at my girlfriend's house," he explains. To his fortune, Luna has followed him over to the couch and he again occupies himself with stroking her ears.

"Can I ask what happened?" Eren moves to take a seat at the other end of the sofa.

"We broke up instead."

Eren's smile vanishes. "Oh," he mumbles. "That...really sucks. I'm sorry."

Levi spares little more than a half-shrug. He leans back, ceasing petting Luna, who shakes herself and wanders off to the kitchen to investigate her recently filled bowl of food. Levi glances casually over at Eren. "It's fine. I saw it coming, honestly. Neither of us were all that interested anymore, I guess."

Eren gives a small nod. He's the one finding something to preoccupy himself with now, by fidgeting with a loose string on his shirt. "Mind if I ask how long you were with her?"

"Just over a year," supplies the raven without missing a beat. "Our anniversary was the thirtieth of November."

Eren can only think to hum. Silence falls over then, other than the sound of Luna's eating from the direction of the kitchen, and Eren doesn't know what to make of this. The moment he'd found out Levi was taken, he'd been happy and disappointed all at once. Happy because Levi was happy, but disappointed and saddened for selfish reasons. He didn't know what to think at this point, knowing Levi was single again. And back in his life. And sitting in his apartment with his dark, stormy, mysterious eyes and dark hair and confidence in simply the way he held himself and that miniscule crease of apparent agitation between his thin brows and his silent breathing and handsome features and everything Eren absolutely adored about him...

He internally shook himself. Now's not the time to be thinking about that...

"So," Levi said after a moment, "what should we do?"

"Uhm," Eren mumbled. His mind scrambled for a response. "Well...I have movies. Or Netflix. Or...video games." He swallowed hard. "Or, I guess we could go somewhere...or, hey, are you hungry? I can make something to eat, or we can order something..." He trailed off, his sentence petering out into a sheepish smile.

"Food sounds pretty good," Levi admits. "What do you have?"

"Let's see." Eren practically jumps up and scurries over to the fridge, where he begins listing the contents to the other, who casually follows him into the small attached kitchen. He quickly lists off the things he knows he has the ingredients to make, and they decide on the leftover pizza Eren had ordered the previous night. Plates in hands, they settle into the couch with a rerun of Friends. Once finished, Eren insists upon cleaning up (it's only really the paper plates, empty cans of soda, and the pizza box) before rejoining Levi on the couch, who's scrolling mindlessly through his phone.

"What now?" Eren asks.

"I...don't know," Levi sighs, tucking the device away in his pocket.

Eren hums, thinking. He doesn't really mind watching TV for the rest of the night, but he also doesn't want to bore Levi and cause him to leave. For thirteen years he'd been dying to spend time with him, even if it was just like this, and he doesn't know when or if he'll ever get another chance.

He gasps as an idea surfaces. Levi raises a brow.

"Wanna bake cookies?" Eren offers; his grin is semi-devious, but in an evident playful way.

"Cookies?" Levi asks, mildly dumfounded.

"Yeah! Remember how much we used to love helping our moms bake them?"

Levi stares blankly at him, and for a moment Eren thinks he's said something utterly stupid and all-too childish and that Levi's going to laugh at him and leave, but the fear is short-lived, because the very corner of Levi's mouth quirks up.

"I remember," he says. "Alright. Let's...bake cookies."

Eren beams; he moves back to the kitchen and begins scavenging for ingredients. "What kind of cookies should we make?" he asks, reaching up to retrieve the flour and sugar.

"Sugar?" Levi suggests, eyeing the bag of said ingredient.

"Good idea." Eren retrieves a cookie sheet from one of the lower cabinets while Levi works on looking up a recipe. Dutifully, Eren scouts the kitchen for the ingredients he reads off.

"Crap," he mutters, peering into the fridge.

"What?"

Silently, Eren pulls out the tray of butter and opens it, revealing maybe sixth of a stick. Levi lifts his brows.

"This is all the butter I have," Eren explains.

"Should we go get some?"

"Well, if we wanna bake cookies..."

"Right. We can just...hop in my car really quick."

"Why don't we walk?" Eren asks, shutting the fridge. Levi gives him a look like he thinks he's crazy.

"It's snowing like fuck," he deadpans.

"Like fuck?" Eren chuckles at the comparison as he moves down the hall to get an umbrella from the closet. He holds it out to Levi. "It'll be fine," Eren says confidently. "We can just stop at the corner store across the street. Besides, Luna needs her evening walk, anyway."

Said canine rushes to his side, having heard her name and walk in the same sentence. Her tongue flops out in excitement as Levi takes the umbrella, muttering a "fine..." Grinning, Eren attaches Luna's leash to her collar and she obediently gives him each of her paws to slide her little doggy socks onto.

"To keep her feet warm," Eren explains as Levi gives him a quizzical glance.

With that, they set off. Eren greets a few of his neighbors while Levi silently twirls the umbrella around two fingers until they reach the elevator. Outside, Eren finds, Levi wasn't kidding about it 'snowing like fuck'. Thick, hearty flakes float toward the ground and collect in the grass. The sidewalks and streets are glossed over with a thin layer with several sets of footprints going through them from the main door and across the parking lot. Just before they're out from under the overhang, Levi snaps the umbrella open and holds it between them, doing his best to cover all three - including the dog walking obediently at Eren's side.

Unlike Armin, Eren has always enjoyed the snow. It brings a sense of peace, somehow, with the quiet it instills. It's a symbol of Christmas, too - his favorite holiday ever since he was a child. Since his and Levi's families spent it together. Since the two of them played in the snow, making crappy snowmen and snow angels, and then were called inside to warm up with hot cocoa and a movie. They'd build blanket forts in the large living room of Levi's house, using the spare afghans and such his mother kept in the closet, securing them to the kitchen chairs or other furniture with hair ties Eren would sneak away from his mother or Mikasa, who was never interested in playing with them.

"Remember when we built that shitty snow fort?" Levi asks, his voice ringing out gently in the cold and a puff of mist manifesting in front of his face from his breath.

Eren nods, finding it ironic that their thought processes were on similar paths. "Yeah, I remember," he says. "It didn't hold up very well 'cause the snow wasn't wet enough."

"And you were inside when the roof gave out, and I had to dig you out."

"Hmph. Not before you laughed at me for a good five minutes."

Levi rolls his eyes. "It was funny."

"Yeah, I guess it was," Eren agrees.

They make it to the corner store with little trouble, though of course it has a no pet policy and Levi volunteers to stay outside with Luna while Eren runs in to purchase a box of butter and, at the last minute, some peppermint hot cocoa. Once done, they make the journey back toward the apartment building, sharing a few more memories along the way. Eren lets Luna do her business behind a bush and is ready to head toward the door when Levi calls out, "Wait."

"What's up?"

"I...got you something," Levi mumbles. He's headed toward a sleek looking vehicle a few cars away from Eren is standing. The brunette willingly follows, excited but a little suspicious. Levi opens the back door and leans in to retrieve something, but when he stands back up, Eren can't see whatever he's grabbed as he's hiding it behind the open door.

"I picked it up before I came," he says, eyes away from Eren's. "But I didn't bring it up right away because I thought it'd be weird." He shrugs and moves to shut the door. A silver gift bag glints in the light of the parking lot. It's a fairly decent size, at least a foot in height. "Let's go. I'll...give it to you when we get up there."

"Okay," Eren agrees. While he remains outwardly reserved, on the inside it feels as if he's vibrating with excitement.

Back in the apartment, Eren stashes the umbrella and Luna's leash and socks back in the closet before emptying the butter and hot chocolate on one of the counters while Levi works on removing his scarf, vest, and shoes, discarding the bag near the tree for later opening before joining Eren in the kitchen.

"Here, I'll put some music on," Eren says. He connects his phone to the Bluetooth speaker his mother sent him for his last birthday and shuffles through his Pandora stations, leaving the device to rest on the table next to the speaker.

And so their baking commences. Eren is left in charge of getting out needed dishes while Levi follows the recipe on his phone (to a T, of course) by mixing all the ingredients in the bowl. Eren, unfortunately, lacks a mixer so they're forced to thicken the dough by working together and using a wooden spoon and a whisk. All the while, they chatter away, catching up and asking about each others' lives in the past thirteen years. It's surprisingly easy, the conversation, and Eren finds himself truly remembering why he admired Levi so much when they were younger, why he'd been so attached to him, why he even...loved him. And...he also finds that these feelings haven't changed a bit.

"Remember the time we tried to do this on our own when we were six?" Eren asks as they're spooning little dollops of dough onto the cookie sheet.

"How in the hell could I forget that?" Levi mutters. "We made a mess and you burned yourself on the oven rack."

Eren snorts a laugh. "Yeah. We got in huge trouble."

"Still have the scar?" Levi asks.

In answer, Eren pushes up his right sleeve to reveal the burn scar on his forearm. It's smaller and a lot less prominent, but it's there.

"Good to know you're not so clumsy anymore," states Levi as he fills in the last space on the sheet. Eren then carefully places it into the waiting, preheated oven and sets the time with a nod of approval from the other.

"Now we wait," Eren says.

Levi hums quietly and saunters back into the living room. Eren wipes down the counters to void them of spilled ingredients before following. When he does, he finds the raven once again in possession of the silver bag.

"Here," he mutters, shoving it in Eren's direction. Eren swears he can see the faintest of blushes creeping to the tips of Levi's ears, and even in his cheeks. This smile, he can't help as he takes the bag.

"Thank you," he says, but makes no move to open it. He isn't sure if he should...

"You should...open it now," Levi says. His lashes flicker up and then back down.

"Now?" Eren queries, a bit bewildered.

"Yeah. You'll see why when you do."

"Okay," Eren agrees. He takes a seat on the couch, inviting Levi to do the same before he starts gently pulling the red tissue paper from inside the bag. He tries not to act too excited to be opening a present (something he's always loved), and one from Levi, no less. It's almost like a dream come true.

A Christmas miracle, he jokes internally.

But containing his excitement on Christmas has never been easy for Eren, and when he sees what's waiting for him in the silver bag, he can't help but beam. In Levi's opinion, his smile is ridiculous as he pulls the item out; his eyes, already brilliant enough and reflecting the colorful lights of the Christmas tree in the corner, sparkle even brighter. It's disgusting, and it's just the reaction Levi was hoping for.

"The Night Before Christmas?" he practically gushes.

"Yeah..." Levi mumbles, absently rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I know how much you used to like it...so..."

"I still like it," Eren corrects. "Thank you so much."

"Sure."

Eren beams at him; really, his smile is ear to ear. Their gazes catch each other, almost like a fly getting caught in a spiderweb; neither man can seem to look away. Eren lowers the book to his knees and suddenly impulse takes over any other logical sense in his mind. He leans forward in a jerky motion and presses his mouth right to Levi's.

One second passes. Two. Another half. And then he jerks back, realizing what he's just done. His breath is caught in his throat and his eyes are wide. Levi, too, looks a bit shocked. Stiff. Eren's mouth drops open, but nothing comes out for a long, long moment.

"Uhm..." he mumbles stupidly. "Sh-shit..." His face may as well be on fire for how deeply it's burning. "I...I'm sorry..." he squeaks. "I...don't...I mean...just..."

"Eren," Levi says. Eren expects his voice to be on edge with anger, but it's surprisingly calm and does well to stop his senseless babbling. "How long have you been wanting to do that?" he asks.

The brunette swallows hard, apprehensive with an elevated heartbeat and ravenous butterflies fluttering about in his abdomen. He knows the answer to that question, of course, but he's not sure if he should say. Still, he may as well tell Levi the truth...

"Since...forever," he says quietly; casts his eyes downward. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Mm, no," Levi murmurs, "not so much."

Eren's gaze shoots up once more to Levi's, his brows knitting together in bewilderment. "Wha...what do you mean?" he stammers.

"I've been the same way...since forever, as you put it..."

Eren has to stop and give himself a moment to wrap his head around Levi's words. At first he thinks the man is just giving him shit (it was something he did a lot when they were kids). Even so, the look in his somber gray irises is more sincere than Eren ever remembers seeing them. It makes no sense, but at the same time he can't help but believe him.

"Y-you have?" he squeaks.

Levi blows out a long breath, his cheeks puffing out a bit as his eyes begin to wander around the room. "Yeah," he quips.

"You mean...since then?"

Levi's hands slide down his thighs; he glances at the other out of the corner of his eye and gives a short nod.

Eren's head is a mess of exclamation and question marks. A million questions fly through his head but he can't seem to form the words to ask a single one of them, nor can he decide which one to ask.

Levi, on the other hand, can practically see the confusion and excitement right on display on Eren's face, with his wide eyes and lips slightly parted like he has no idea what to say, how to react.

So he lets his lips do the talking for him instead, reaching over to gently cup the side of Eren's face and claim his lips again. Eren stiffens for a moment, but Levi refuses to jerk away like he did without getting some sort of response. And eventually, he does. He feels Eren reciprocate, leaning closer and deepening it a bit.

It's awkward. A little messy in terms of the way their lips mold together, but it's nothing short of heart-fluttering for both of them. When they finally pull apart, they're breathless even if only slightly so.

"But you...just broke up...with..." Eren manages in one of those soft breaths, brushing warmly across Levi's face, still close as their foreheads are pressed together.

"Yeah," Levi says, "I did."

"I don't...?"

Levi sits back a little. "The last few months haven't been the best with her...and then you showed up, and that was it for me."

"You mean I was...?" Why can't I finish any of these questions? Eren thinks.

"Yes, Eren. Keep up."

"O-oh my god. You...shouldn't have let me break you up...I'm nothing special..."

"You're an idiot is what you are," Levi says; affection coats his tone, and it's soft in a way that utterly and completely melts Eren's insides. His nerves are on edge, hot, and his palms have collected enough sweat to cause the book to slide from his fingers and thud onto the floor, startling both of them.

"Tomorrow," Eren says finally, not bothering to pick the book up, thankful he's finally said something without stuttering. "Come over."

Levi's brows raise. "You want to spend Christmas with me?"

Eren nods enthusiastically. "Of course I do. I wanna give you a good Christmas. And birthday," he tacks on. "We can stuff our faces with food and cookies and watch cheesy Christmas movies..."

"Alright," Levi responds with very little hesitation.

Eren's smile shines brighter than the Christmas tree, and Levi can't help but kiss him again.

~

The next morning, Eren's running around in his pajamas, setting the cookies out on a platter decorated with little Christmas trees around the edges (another thing inherited from his mother) and last-minute present wrapping the things he'd gone to find for Levi after he left the previous night. One's in red and green striped paper topped with a silver bow, the other in shiny deep blue paper with a black bow. It took him hours to figure out how to wrap them and after nearly an entire roll of wasted paper, he'd given up and left them to his messy, less than mediocre job.

Three short knocks sound at the door not long after he tops the second present with its bow. He calls a short, 'just a sec!' before rushing over to the tree, hastily plugging the lights in, and stacking the Christmas present beneath the tree. Holding the other behind his back, he moves over to the door, shakes his hair out of his eyes, and pulls it open.

Sure enough, Levi stands casually on the other side, hands in his pocket just as the day before with a reserved, unreadable expression. He's handsome as ever, with his shiny dark eyes and snow-dusted hair. A few of the flakes still cling to his long lashes, too, just barely starting to melt. He fashions a black jacket, skinny jeans, and combat boots.

Eren can't help but greet him with a wide smile, even as the raven's brows lift while his eyes scan Eren's outfit - flannel pajama pants and a black shirt with Gir from Invader Zim on it.

"Good morning," the brunette greets happily. "Come on in."

Levi murmurs his thanks as he steps past the threshold. Eren waits for him to remove his jacket, revealing a dark red and black flannel, and his shoes before holding out the present with a cheerful, "Happy Birthday!"

Levi's eyes narrow as he gingerly takes the gift. "Thanks," he says again. "You didn't have to get me anything..."

"You got me something," Eren counters. "And I know how much you don't like getting your birthday all mashed up with Christmas, so I split them up." When Levi glances up at him, he tacks on, "Or, at least you used to dislike it..."

"Still do," Levi confirms as he sits down. "Alright. I'll humor you."

Eren watches excitedly as Levi carefully tears into the blue paper to reveal a simple brown cardboard box. He pries that open, too, to find a box of cologne, a Starbucks gift card, and a couple of books. Levi shuffles through them, reading the book titles and the label on the cologne before holding it up with raised brows. "You trying to tell me something?" he asked.

"What?" Eren asks, a bit of panic rising up and his back straightening.

Levi merely blows some air out of his nose, a crooked smile manifesting on his features as he reorganizes the gifts back in the box. "Kidding," he says. "But you didn't have to get me anything, let alone this much."

Eren plops onto the cushion next to the raven. "Too bad, I did. And you have to deal with it."

Levi rolls his eyes. "Well thank you. I appreciate it."

Eren's grin returns as Levi leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek. He then stands up to retrieve the things he'd stuffed under the tree only moments ago. Levi's brows push together in the middle as he sets them on the table in front of him.

"And Merry Christmas," he says, sitting back down.

"Eren..."

"What?"

"Seriously, you didn't have to do all this."

"It's okay," Eren says, placing the bigger of the three gifts in Levi's lap. "This is something we can share."

The raven sighs lightly as he unties the ribbon, noting the softer texture of whatever's beyond the Christmassy wrapping paper, and tears into it. It's dark blue and impossibly soft beneath the pads of his fingers. Little white snowflakes and snowmen decorate it in patterns.

"A blanket?" Levi asks.

"Yep!" Eren enthuses. "Look." He begins pulling the cardboard packaging from around the blanket, casting it aside absently before unfolding the blanket and flicking it out for it to settle over both of their laps, smiling. "It's huge."

Levi hums in contentment, running his fingers over the soft material once more. "Then what are those?" He nods at the other two boxes of the same size still waiting to be opened.

Eren retrieves them and places one in Levi's hand. "We open these together," he says. With that, they tear into the paper to reveal small shrinkwrap boxes with Christmas tree ornaments in them. Levi's is black with decorative silver sparkles while Eren's is the opposite - silver with black sparkles. Each ornament says their name on it in intricate writing.

"I had them made last night," Eren explains. "Do you like it?"

"I do," Levi says, turning the box every which way to look at it. "Thank you."

"Of course." Eren beams. He reaches for the remote. "Let's watch a movie?"

"Alright," Levi agrees, snuggling under the blanket a bit more and crossing his legs at the ankles. As Eren's working on opening Netflix with the remote in his right hand, he feels Levi's gentle fingers sliding down his left forearm and sliding between his fingers. His stomach erupts with butterflies, suppressing his smile as he wraps his own fingers between Levi's, warm and soft.

Halfway through Home Alone, Levi's head ends up using Eren's shoulder as a makeshift pillow, their hands tangled together between them, sides pressed together. Because of this, Eren has trouble focusing on the movie, as he's so wrapped up in the fact that Levi is here with him, cuddling under a blanket and watching a freaking Christmas movie...like their feelings had been requited all along.

And a sudden realization brings him to the conclusion that they have, and he smiles.

He finds it a bit unnerving, in all honesty, that Levi seems so comfortable with this after so recently having broke up with someone he was with for a year. Still, he can't help but feel this is the best Christmas present he's ever received.

"By the way," Levi murmurs as the credits begin to scroll. He stretches his neck up just enough to kiss Eren sweetly. "Merry Christmas."