The Responsibility We Carry

Elowen entered the stage with slow but elegant steps. Her high heels made her legs look long, and although Effie wished the dress had been different, the touched-up, feminine curves proved less dramatic. Elowen looked older, no question, but not synthetic, which had been Effie's fear. The emerald satin of her dress glowed as she entered the pool of stage light, the sequins reflecting the white light in all directions. Her blonde-brown hair curled on her shoulders, moving smoothly from one side of her back to the other with each of her steps. And although Elowen's neckline was too low for her age, she was a beautiful sight. Young, comely, and aesthetic in her own way.

Nonetheless, Effie didn't miss the fact that the dark green heels were costing the girl all her concentration. For the second time in an hour, she cursed the stylists who hadn't followed her instructions. Elowen's legs wobbled a little, but all in all, she did better than some of the other girls from the outer Districts. It would hardly be visible to the cameras. However, her expression suffered from the distraction the high heels gave her. She and Effie had practiced walking in a similar pair for a whole day, but it was normal that it would be different in front of a large audience.

It was only when Caesar greeted Elowen and introduced himself to her in a friendly manner that she remembered to smile. It seemed a little fake, but only a few Capitols would notice that. Effie had to admit to herself that she knew people who had spent their whole lives in the Capitol and who were still worse at faking a smile than her tribute was. Now she just had to convince them with her conversation.

Caesar was a wonderful host: always accommodating, he always tried to highlight the best side of the tributes. A broad smile graced his orange lips as he shook Elowen's hand once and then complimented her dress. His open manner elicited another shy smile from her and she thanked him with her lovely voice, which had won Effie over before. When the two of them sat down on the large sofa, she unfortunately forgot to cross her legs. It was only a small thing, even if it was the details that made the overall picture all the better.

The moderator started the interview with some light-hearted questions about Elowen's well-being and her journey. The young girl had trouble ignoring the crowd that watched her struggle for words in total silence. She found it difficult to speak freely in front of an audience and Effie kept catching her scanning the crowd for her and Haymitch out of the corner of her eye. But the bright spotlights at the edge of the stage blinded her too much to see people's faces.

At first, Elowen mostly answered Caesar's questions curtly, but the longer the conversation went on and she realized that he really only wanted to help her, the more precise her answers became. They talked briefly about District 12, but since her life there had not been particularly pleasant and Elowen was clearly uncomfortable, Caesar cleverly changed the subject and asked her about her opinion of the Capitol. It would probably be one of the highlights of her career, a moment Effie would never forget, because to her own surprise, Elowen told him and the people in the room about her. She told them about the depth of fear she had had after being chosen and how much Effie had helped her find her way around the Capitol.

You could tell that the audience was touched by Elowen's honesty. The cameras immediately scanned the crowd for Effie, and she flashed them a broad, dazzling smile as Caesar pointed out that it was her first year as an escort and that her enthusiasm was clearly evident. The host, who had apparently done quite a bit of research beforehand, joked around and mentioned Haymitch, who was apparently showing his face at the interviews for the first time in a long while. When Effie's surprised gaze shifted from the cameras to Haymitch, he merely raised his hands innocently, and the crowd burst into laughter.

Time was running short, so Caesar only asked Elowen what she would do with all the money if she were to win. The thought brought a smile to the girl's face, and she quickly and instinctively replied without hesitation that she would give her family a carefree life and buy everything she wanted. Both Caesar and the audience couldn't help but chuckle.

Then it was time to say goodbye to Elowen. Caesar thanked her for her time and honesty, and in a playful gesture, he bowed to the girl, who began to grin slightly, waved to the people, and then wobbled off the stage. The audience clapped politely, but the enthusiasm of the earlier interviews was missing. Although Elowen had done well, her performance was nothing special, much like the appearances of the other outsider tributes. She didn't stand out from her competition. Additionally, people were starting to get tired and restless. Most, including Haymitch to Effie's chagrin, were probably already thinking about their first drink at the after-show party. Effie jabbed Haymitch in the side with her elbow as gracefully as possible, trying not to draw unnecessary attention, and then shot him a warning look.

Finally, it was Ramon's turn and for the time being, the uneasy feeling about Elowen disappeared from Effie's mind. Neither Haymitch nor she knew what to expect. Effie had made every effort to give the boy at least some advice and hoped that he had somehow taken it to heart. So much depended on his impression today.

Effie had already feared that Ramon would simply ignore Caesar. That had never happened before in the interviews, but there was always a first time. He surprised both her and Haymitch all the more when he walked slowly and casually up the stage, his hands in the pockets of his suit trousers, obviously leaving Caesar waiting. Effie's jaw almost dropped as she was overcome with embarrassment. She stared nervously at the audience around her, already expecting the first negative reactions; but they didn't come. People started to laugh a few times, and when he turned to the audience with a sweeping turn and winked at them with an inscrutable grin, they started to clap. Maybe it was because hardly any of the previous tributes had shown such self-confidence; Effie couldn't explain it.

Ramon shook Caesar's hand and then sat down on the sofa without being asked to do so by the moderator. The moderator slowly realized that the boy was of a different caliber and seemed to be visibly pleased about the change. He didn't beat around the bush for long, but immediately started talking about the rumor that was making the rounds in the Capitol. Of course, it was about the Peacekeepers who accompanied Ramon everywhere.

"Nobody knows how, but in the years before you, hardly any tribute managed to achieve that. What did you do to apparently get on your team's bad side?" Caesar asked curiously, leaning forward in eager anticipation towards Ramon, who was reclining in the soft cushions, striking a pose similar to Haymitch's. The same arrogant expression danced in his eyes.

Ramon laughed. He looked good in the black-patterned suit. The extravagance of the fabric complemented his extroverted demeanor. Ramon's attention was on the audience, not Caesar. Effie didn't know what he was planning, but his eyes slowly scanned the rows of seats. It wasn't because he was looking for Haymitch and her; rather, he seemed to want to give every spectator the feeling of being watched. The atmosphere in the hall changed; the audience seemed to wake from its slumber. Ramon leaned slightly on his thigh with his elbow and then turned to Caesar. A mischievous, self-satisfied grin adorned his lips. "It's actually nothing serious," he replied in a honey-sweet voice. "I just love drawing attention to myself."

Caesar seemed genuinely surprised by the tribute's response, likely because, like most others, he had expected an illustrative story. "How much attention was needed to get an entire escort assigned to you?" he joked, hoping to get more details, but Ramon just shook his head mysteriously.

"Maybe I'll tell you when I return crowned from the arena." Another laugh from the audience.

Effie couldn't help but glance at Haymitch. He stared at her with the same cluelessness and shrugged. "Those were definitely not my suggestions, sweetheart. But he's got it pretty well under control."

"Oh, I have no choice but to bet on you now," Caesar shouted in a mock disappointed tone. "I really want to know how you did it! You too?" Some spectators whistled in agreement, many giggled.

"You know how the Games work, Caesar," Ramon reminded him in an almost bored tone, sighing loudly. He truly knew how to draw people's attention. "I needed a tactic to stand out. The Careers are always your favorites, and the rest of us get lost in the mix. But not me. The Peacekeepers gave me the desired effect."

The conversation continued until the sound signaling the end of the interview played, and Ramon bowed to the audience. He raised his left hand one last time, waved, and urged them to bet on the underdog this time. After the performance he had delivered, he could be sure of their interest. A spirited, charming, and witty young man from District 12 was a rarity. Some adventurous sponsors would certainly keep an eye on him, and Effie was pleased about that. It meant less work for her.

Ramon had likely awakened some in the crowd from their trance, as his applause was much stronger than that for the other tributes from the outer Districts. Caesar broadly grinned into the cameras one last time, raised his hands in the air, and wished the viewers happy Hunger Games in his enthusiastic, infectious manner, and wished the live audience much enjoyment at the after-show party, which began right after the interviews every year and marked the unofficial start of the betting season.

Just as Effie had feared, it was impossible to leave the enormous auditorium without delay. There were only two exits for the box seats, which were wide and clearly visible, but it was the mass of people all standing up at the same time that prevented a quick exit. Just reaching the end of their row took five minutes, and Haymitch needed only a glance over his shoulder to see how much the snail's pace irritated her. She saw the amused grin that crept onto his lips before he turned his head back forward, and his amusement annoyed her. Her frustration only grew as they shuffled towards the exit side by side in tiny steps. Even with her high heels, which had a significant heel, she felt crushed in the throng of warm, sweaty people. She wasn't tall enough to see over the heads and towering wigs surrounding her. Haymitch walked so close behind her that she could feel his breath on her neck. After they had fought their way through the crowd for a few meters, his hand had casually brushed her lower back and remained there. It did nothing to help her keep her composure.

Effie lost sight of Haymitch just before the tall doors because another crowd of people, who had apparently not been successful on the other side of the hall, pushed their way into hers from the right. Many of the men wore similar suits, so she didn't find him right away. After she finally made it through the exit, a hand gently wrapped around her forearm and pulled her out of the audience.

"I thought you'd tripped, and they'd trampled you," Haymitch muttered, only half joking, as he led her away from the doors and towards the elevators. Only when they had put some distance between themselves and the other spectators did he let go of her arm. His grey eyes ran over her body and stopped on her face. The disapproving expression in her own eyes was clearly evident, because he began to smirk again.

The people around her were in a good mood. The after-show party was one of the biggest events before the Hunger Games and hardly any celebrity missed it. Effie had never been there but had been told that the free drinks and food were not the only free perks that evening. It was one of the few nights where the rich celebrated with the poor and all social classes of the Capitol came together. That had its advantages and disadvantages. Every year there was a new scandal. Sometimes it was drugs, sometimes fights, sometimes prostitution. Last season there had even been a stabbing. Effie had seen and heard enough to be able to say with certainty that it was not her kind of party, even though she loved partying. Even this time, and even though she was now the escort of District 12, she had no plans to go. It was Elowen and Ramon's last evening of freedom, the last night before their Games, and Effie felt obliged to end the night with them and say goodbye.

Before they could return to their tributes, however, the usual press briefing took place. Effie knew about this, of course, as it was a mandatory part of the evening for escorts and mentors to speak to the waiting journalists. Peacekeepers or other Hunger Games officials took care of escorting the tributes back to the Training Center.

Effie spent most of the short Q&A session smiling at the camera while Haymitch joked around with the press. She didn't know where from, but he seemed to know the reporter and the two exchanged a few jokes. The journalist directed the more serious questions at her, which she could understand. It bothered her nonetheless: Ramon was the focus of his attention and Effie had to emphasize more than once that it was up to Ramon to keep his promise to Caesar and that she wouldn't talk about the reasons for the Peacekeeper escort. However, there were also one or two personal questions about her career and her well-being on the District 12 team, which she was happy to answer.

Finally, the reporter turned to Haymitch one last time and asked him for his opinion on Effie's work so far and whether Elowen had perhaps exaggerated Effie's support during the interviews. Haymitch's eyes slid from the reporter to Effie. She had hooked her arm through his during the interviews because it projected unity and teamwork. Now, looking into his silver eyes from this close distance felt strange, and she knew he felt the same. Haymitch leaned slightly back under her touch without breaking contact, allowing him to better examine her. His serious gaze lingered on her face for several seconds, and Effie could feel the warmth emanating from him. Or was it from her own body? Before she could do something foolish, a small smile spread across Haymitch's lips. His white teeth gleamed in the camera's light. The realization that the camera was capturing this odd moment of silent interaction between them for all of Panem made her push aside every other thought.

"Effie is more than qualified for this job and very dedicated to her tributes," Haymitch finally answered the journalist's question. Then, with a brief nod, he left the press area, Effie in tow.

Effie opened her mouth to say something, although she wasn't sure what she wanted to say, when Chaff suddenly appeared in front of them. His mischievous grin didn't bode well, even though there was an effort in his dark eyes that she couldn't interpret. Effie was still wondering why he had to be Haymitch's closest acquaintance here in the Capitol when a young woman appeared at Chaff's side and threw herself around Haymitch's neck a split second later.

"Well, who do we have here?" Haymitch was visibly pleased with the woman who still had her arms wrapped around his chest. His voice gave him away.

Effie had never met this young woman, and yet she seemed somehow familiar. She was a little taller than herself, but that wasn't the first thing that caught one's eye when looking at her. Her flawless body made it clear that she had been under the knife more than once. Everything about her seemed artificial: large breasts, round butt, slim waist, an over-perfected nose and plumped lips. It wasn't uncommon for people to undergo plastic surgery in the Capitol, but most of it was in poor taste in Effie's opinion. The woman looked quite young, 25 at the most, younger than Effie in any case. Her narrow but strikingly angular face was covered in gold makeup. Even her skin cast a slight golden shadow. She must have had one of those expensive full-body treatments. A long, thin braid cascaded down her bare back, reaching all the way down. She wore a form-fitting, dark red satin dress, which Effie would have almost labeled as tasteless had it not been for the golden logos at the bottom of both spaghetti straps. It was one of the most exquisite brands the Capitol had to offer and was hardly affordable. Effie herself could only dream of ever owning a piece of clothing from that brand. Whoever this woman was, she belonged to the top one percent of the Capitol, she belonged to the elite, and Effie could only guess that she must have married a very influential man.

"Laetitia and I are heading to the afterparty. Are you coming?" Chaff asked Haymitch at that moment in a strangely distorted voice. Haymitch was still busy holding this stranger in his arms. Something about the way he looked down at her bothered Effie so much that even her brain took a moment to click at the mention of the black-haired woman's name.

Of course, Effie knew her. She was Laetitia Lowell, the wife of the Head Gamemaker Janus Lowell. No one really knew what her profession was. She was neither a model nor an actress, but she had a large fan base on the Internet and had probably landed more advertising deals in her life than some professional models. That's why she seemed so familiar to Effie. There were enough rumors about her and her even more famous husband. There were rumors that the two of them were constantly cheating on each other and that they had a relatively open relationship. This didn't seem to bother either of the two victors in the slightest. Effie couldn't help but be disgusted by the two men's gawking. There was no other way to describe their looks at Laetitia's body. Like greedy dogs waiting to be fed. The young woman didn't seem to mind. The excessive looks she gave Haymitch from her wide, brown eyes were no less innocent.

"Not saying no to that," Haymitch said without hesitation, swinging an arm around Laetitia's waist after she pulled away from their tight embrace. He grinned broadly down at her, desire sparkling in his dancing eyes that made Effie feel sick.

Her mood faded so quickly that she suddenly felt completely out of place, although it wasn't her style to feel excluded anywhere. Effie felt like an intruder, but it was Laetitia who was breaking the usual routine with her presence. With a fleeting glance, her blue eyes darted from Laetitia to Haymitch. She blinked hard. Rumors were also circulating about Haymitch. Petunia had warned her about him from the beginning. Perhaps it wasn't his excessive drinking that Effie should have been wary of.

"Then let's go!" Laetitia squealed, bouncing up and down in her gold heels like a little schoolgirl. She grabbed the arm Haymitch had wrapped around her and tugged playfully, her ebony eyes fixed on the elevators at the end of the hall.

Effie had so many questions on the tip of her tongue that she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from bombarding Haymitch with them. She had no right to demand any answers. Haymitch could do whatever he wanted. It didn't change the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that she still couldn't place. Every fiber of her body wanted to stop Haymitch from leaving with Laetitia and Chaff. She didn't know why.

Effie didn't say any of this out loud. It would have only made her look silly. Chaff was already clapping his hands and taking a step back as she cleared her throat in her high-pitched voice and turned to her colleague. It took a lot of self-discipline to suppress her accent as much as possible. It always stood out so much when she was angry, giving her away. "You do realize it is the children's last night, right? You should give them some final advice before they go to the arena."

It was the first time Haymitch took his attention away from Laetitia, and he looked as if he had completely forgotten about Effie. He rolled his eyes in an annoyed gesture and gave her a meaningful look that said something like They're going to be dead soon anyway, so I don't need to waste my time with them. "I've done everything I can. Now it's up to them to prove themselves. Send them my regards, though."

Effie backed away from him as if he had physically harmed her. She didn't know what hurt more; the look in his eyes or his words, which were an obvious lie. They both knew he could have tried harder. How could he be so ignorant after everything she had done for the children? Why did he suddenly not care what happened to them? Why was a party suddenly more important to him than the lives of two human beings, even though he despised the Capitol for that very recklessness?

My regards. As if he would see them again in two weeks. Effie snorted. Haymitch had crossed a barrier in her. Maybe he was right; she had developed an emotional bond with her tributes, and he had known it from the beginning. That was why his ignorance felt so personal, because indirectly he was hurting her just as much as Elowen and Ramon. Effie had invested all her time, all her effort in the children. She couldn't let Haymitch ruin her work so easily.

Anger coursed through Effie's veins as Haymitch's eyes met hers. For a second, she saw nothing but emptiness in his gaze until Laetitia tugged on his arm again and he reluctantly began to move.

The feeling she couldn't place came back to her as she watched the three of them get into the next elevator; Laetitia between Haymitch and Chaff, as if they had known each other forever. As if they were a thing. Why else would they behave like that in public?

Are you jealous? Effie shook the thought away. Haymitch was a drunkard from District 12. He was irresponsible, rude and short-tempered. Not in a thousand years would she be jealous of someone like him. She was Effie Trinket, after all. If she wanted, she could have anyone. It was the anger and the even greater disappointment that he had just left. Nothing more, nothing less.

Effie sighed and turned on her heel as the elevator began to move. Laetitia Lowell was younger than her and yet already married. Perhaps she should start looking for a suitable partner as well. Her sister Aurelia had recently started dating an influential man named Caius. She had met him a few times and although he seemed a little arrogant to her, he was friendly enough. Not that she wasn't already looking. Effie had gone out with the aspiring Gamemaker Seneca Crane more than once, which had made her mother very happy. The Cranes were a powerful family in Panem. But since the Games had started, she hadn't heard from Seneca. Perhaps he had lost interest, or his job was currently taking up too much of his time.

Dinner with her tributes was less pleasant than she had imagined. Ramon had reverted to his cold, deathly silent self, staring down at his plate as if he might hurl it against the nearest wall at any moment. Elowen, on the other hand, seemed to be slowly losing her nerve as the night approached. Haymitch's absence only made things worse. Effie could barely imagine what was going through the girl's mind, and a large part of her, too afraid of that reality, didn't even want to know.

At some point, when the food had long since been cleared away and Ramon had long since disappeared into his room, Elowen lifted her delicate head from the table and stared straight into Effie's eyes. A cold shiver ran down her spine when she thought that she could no longer help her. She was no victor. There was nothing she could have said to Elowen to make her life in the arena a little easier. Haymitch should have been here to tell her these exact things. It was his job.

"Why isn't Haymitch here?" Elowen asked in a hoarse voice, leaning back in the chair that completely enveloped her small frame. The thought tightened Effie's throat, and she needed several breaths before she was able to respond.

"He is unfortunately unavailable, dear," she managed to say, cursing Haymitch for forcing her to lie to Elowen's face. She couldn't tell her the truth, she didn't want to tell her the truth. The girl shouldn't think that her mentor had already given up on her. "He told me to wish you the best of luck."

Effie wasn't sure if Elowen believed her words. She didn't know what was being said about Haymitch in District 12. It was quite possible that she already knew what her mentor thought. There was something glinting in the eyes of her tribute — fear of the unknown. Deep down, Effie shared that fear. No one knew what to expect tomorrow. She could only hope that the odds would be in Elowen's and Ramon's favor. The thought of having to watch them on the living room TV starting tomorrow made her uneasy. Until now, the Hunger Games had been nothing more than a TV show that she watched with varying levels of interest. She had applied for the role of escort believing she would be in the spotlight while managing the tributes on the side. That's how Petunia had always described it to her. She had never believed that the tributes would affect her as deeply as Elowen had. Now, with caution already too late, she could only hope that this wasn't a fateful mistake.

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Who is this Laetitia? And what are her motives? Let me know your thoughts about this chapter! :)

Sorry for the late update.

Skyllen