Hey guys. A lot of you have been asking and yes, I did unpublish this chapter. I was very disappointed in the way that I wrote it and decided I badly needed to change it, especially since it's such an important part of the plot. For those who read the first time I updated, you may want to read again, because I added quite a bit of changes.

I may continue to edit and change this chapter slightly. I relied on your constructive criticism a lot for this chapter and I hope that came through. If you guys still have more to add, then go ahead!

Enjoy.

#Chapter Thirty Three#

Before either of us could react, Tariq was across the room in a split second and my brain only had a fraction of even that to comprehend his flying fist. His hand smashed into the face of an unsuspecting Isaac, hitting him directly in the centre of his nose. He staggered backwards with the force of the blow, one hand flying up to gather the dripping red droplets and the other reaching out to steady himself. 

"How dare you!" Tariq yelled, his eyes ablaze and his fists clenched. My gaze shifted between him and Isaac, eyes wide, my mouth gaping open, not really knowing what to do. 

"You'll pay for that," Isaac said in a low tone, wiping some of the blood from under his nose with his palm. 

And I guess I should have been expecting it, but with how things had turned within the span of a minute, I was still to stunned to register what would happen next. Isaac lunged at Tariq, both of them falling in a heaped mess at the floor. 

"Guys, STOP!" I cried out, running towards them. I could do nothing but stand by because I knew that it would only make the situation worse if I got myself into that fight. "STOP!" I yelled again, even though I knew it was fruitless. 

"Sameena, step back," Tariq grunted as he dodged a punch from Isaac. They rolled over until Tariq now had the upper hand and he grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up to his feet and smashing him into the wall behind baba's desk. 

"What a k-knight in shining armour," Isaac laughed sardonically, spitting a mix of saliva and blood onto the floor before staring down at Tariq who had him gripped in a tight hold around his neck. "Y-you should tell h-her about your childhood h-history," he grit out. His eyes travelled towards me and I frowned in confusion. What in God's name was he talking about and what did he hope to achieve by talking nonsense right now? 

"Shutup," Tariq growled under his breath and I winced at the anger in his face.

I wasn't accustomed to this Tariq. 

Isaac laughed again, or at least, he tried to.

"Loverboy over h-here has been k-keeping more lies from y-you than you t-think. Just like all t-the men you've known i-in your life, aye?" Isaac mumbled in a hoarse whisper. 

"I don't know what you're talking about and I don't care because I know you're lying." I said, trying to keep the uncertainty from my voice. I turned to Tariq. "Let him go."

Tariq sent me both a pained and shocked expression. He ignored me and turned back to Isaac. "You have no right to tell her anything. I would keep my mouth shut if I were you." 

Isaac remained quiet for a few seconds and I thought he was actually going to listen.

Then everything happened at once. 

"You've known e-each other y-your whole life!" he spat out, before kneeing Tariq in the stomach and pushing him off. Tariq groaned and fell to the floor with a thud but before I could run over to him, I realised that Isaac's eyes had fallen upon baba's desk.  

The bug!

Our eyes met at the same time and we both scrambled to detach the tiny little black device from the mahogany wood before the other one could. Just as I was about to grasp it with my two fingers, I felt a strong hand grip itself around my arm and fling me backwards. I gasped as I fell back, stumbling over my feet and hitting the wall in the process. 

"Sameena, quick!" 

I looked up to find that Tariq had managed to get back onto his feet and grab Isaac by the shoulders, pushing his face down into the floor. I took no risks and wasted no time in running towards the desk and once I had the bug in my hand, I deposited in into my side pocket. 

"Dammit!" Isaac bellowed in fury. He elbowed Tariq in the face, wriggling his way out of his hold and then with speed I didn't even think he possessed, ran out of the room all together. 

I stared after him with wide eyes and when Tariq tried to run after him, I stopped him. "Don't. Just let him." With the impact of the fall and the shock of what just happened, I was breathing harshly and I hurriedly moved to sit down. 

Tariq ran a hand through his hair and began pacing the room. After a minute, he paused to stare down at me. "What just happened?" 

I heaved a sigh. "Well...Isaac swore at me, you punched Isaac in the face, Isaac then attacked you, some confusing words were exchanged, he tried to grab the bug, I tried to grab the bug and then he ran out and I have no idea what's going to happen now." I glanced at Tariq to find him staring at the floor intensely, biting his lip in thought. "Tariq...what was Isaac talking about?" 

"What do you mean?" Our eyes locked together and I could see clearly, that he was pretending he didn't know what I was talking about.

Which made me all the more suspicious of course....

I just couldn't be bothered for this anymore. I was exhausted. 

I rubbed at my eyes and emerged from my seat. "What are you hiding Tariq?" 

He opened his mouth and closed it again, an expression of instant defeat crossing his face. He pulled a chair over and sat down in front of me. A bit surprised at the gesture, I mentally prepared myself for whatever he might say.

With how things have been playing out in my life lately, I was sure this would be another hurdle I didn't see coming. 

Before he could say anything, a bunch of guards came hurtling through the room, along with a very alert and panicked baba. Tariq immediately got up and whispered something into his ear and with a sorrowful glance in my direction, baba nodded his head and gave the cue for the guards to leave. 

They were only ten minutes too late. Where were they when Isaac attacked Tariq and threw me to the ground?

Baba closed the door once the guards had left. He absorbed the chaos that was now his office, from the fallen down desk chair, to the cracked wall, to all the papers that had billowed to the floor...

Tariq returned to his seat and baba pulled up the fallen chair and moved it so that it was next to him and in front of me. All this was done in silence and I anxiously watched, trying to determine what was going on exactly and what would happen next.

Tariq gave me a reassuring smile although I could tell it was forced. I gazed into his dark grey eyes hoping against hope that what they were going to tell me would be something trivial. 

Something that wouldn't hurt...

Although all the signs made it clear that it wasn't going to be that easy. Baba heaved a tired sigh and glanced down at his hands that were hanging limply between his knees. He took a few moments to gather his thoughts until finally, he look up, straight into my eyes.

Something akin to grief and regret shone in those eyes and I became fearful. I swallowed hard and tried to regulate my breathing, although it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy, because both men were looking at me as if I would melt at their oncoming words.

"Sameena," baba started, scratching his head and sitting up straight. "Before we say anything, I want you to know that this isn't how you were supposed to find out about any of this. I don't know how Isaac found out about our family history, because I always ensured it was kept confidential." A loud exhale passed through his lips before he continued. "I don't expect you to react well to this at all. But I hope that one day you'll come to appreciate and understand why we did what we did."

"Baba, you're scaring me," I whispered, my eyes prickling with oncoming tears.

"I think you'll have grounds to be more hurt and angry than scared," baba mumbled. My gaze travelled to a silent Tariq. His presence was comforting but his expression was not as welcoming. My eyes flickered back to baba once he started talking. "Nine years ago, when you were just thirteen years old, a terrible, terrible accident happened. One that left our whole family broken for a long time thereafter."

Was he talking about mama's death?

"It was the day after I had just launched a campaign to promote a policy that demanded large, transnational corporations and businesses give only ten percent of their overall profit to any charity, homeless shelter, orphanage, overseas crisis operations...anything of that sort. It was met with a lot of support....but it was also met with a lot of opposition." Baba spoke the last part in pain, as if it recalled a memory that was burning into his eyes. "The rich and the elite - or in plainer terms, the selfish and greedy - of our country, took this as a strike against them. They thought that it was an attempt at robbing them of their money, saying that they already had enough taxes to pay. The next day-," baba abruptly cut off, and he coughed as if he had something in his throat.

Tariq peered at baba and when he determined he wasn't up to speaking, he faced me and continued. "The next day you and your mother went to visit one of your aunties for a baby shower. It was to be a girls day out and it was something you were extremely looking forward to." He paused and I felt like he was allowing his grey eyes to roam over my face, as if he was savouring a last moment of civility between us. "I know that, because you wouldn't stop babbling excitedly about it to me for the whole week prior to it."

I blanched.

It couldn't possibly mean...

"We weren't best friends but we were very close neighbours. Everyday after school, we would spend an hour together playing in a tree house that my dad built in our backyard. I remember how much you loved it, because it overlooked the water and you always mentioned how it felt like you were floating above crystals." I let a tear slide down my face. I couldn't hold my breath any longer and as I released the air within me, more tears leaked from my eyes. Tariq's face twisted with sympathy and I looked away, unable to withhold his searing gaze. "On the way back from the baby shower, a car slammed into the side of yours at the speed of 100 kilometres..." He took a shakey breath. "Effectively killing your mother and badly injuring you."

One hand flew to my mouth, muffling the sound of my choked sobs.

"The person who was driving the car was apart of a group that has been long known for their hatred for not only your father, but for the democratia in general. Unsurprisingly, this group also owns hundred of large businesses around the world, so it was quickly deduced that this attack coming the day after the campaign was planned. The driver was also killed but according to the evidence that was gathered and the confessions from members of the group, it was organised that way; for him to be killed."

Through my blurry, wide eyes, I watched baba as he sat there in silence, his head in his hands. I was always told that mama died because of a tragic accident.

Not as a result of a campaign and at the hands of murderers.

"W-what is the name of this group?" I managed to stutter.

"Al Ghorban," baba answered dryly.

Tariq then went on, unrelentingly.

"Your mother was killed on impact, as she was on the side closest to where the car was hit. You had slammed your head against the glass window and although that is dangerous, the real damage occurred when the car flipped over and you suffered a second blow to the head on the asphalt. You were in critical condition when you were brought in and after intensive surgery, the best news that was given to your family was that you were still alive...but barely. You were in a coma for eight months and although doctors warned that you would most likely suffer amnesia and speech loss, we never stopped believing in you. We relied on Allah SWT and waited for you to wake up, waiting to see if it would really amount to that."

I gasped, trying to regain some oxygen into my lungs but it was fruitless. I wasn't able to calm down until Tariq hurriedly kneeled in front of me and instructed me through some breathing techniques. Baba was had come by my side too and gripped my hand, squeezing it tightly as if pleading for me to calm down.

Tariq looked up at me with pained eyes. "I'm so sorry Sameena. For everything that you've had to go through, for everything you've endured."

I shook my head and wiped away at my tears. I felt numb. But I knew that he had more to say so I urged him to continue. "Just continue Tariq," I whispered in a hoarse voice.

He was gripping my chair tightly, his eyes still locked on mine. I knew he was analysing me but I glanced at my lap and made sure he couldn't see my face properly. After a minute, he finally continued. "Just as the doctors predicted, you suffered a lot of memory loss. You didn't know why you were in the hospital, you managed to forget places and the name of simple objects. In the beginning...you were able to remember your father, Samir and Salem but not Ziad."

I felt my heart sting at those words. A fleeting thought crossed through my mind; how could you forget your own twin brother? Out of all people?

Baba continued on from here. "It killed Ziad when he saw you for the first time and you just stared at him blankly, as if you've never seen him before. He was ruined for days; the kid was only thirteen and he felt like he had just lost his best friend." Baba allowed a small smile to grace his lips here. "But then, something burned within him and he was determined to ignite your memory. Everyday, for months straight, he would tell you stories, show you pictures and make you watch videos of when you were both younger. He didn't give up and soon enough, images and flashes returned to you."

Baba put a hand on Tariq's shoulder and squeezed it in an attempt to comfort him for the next words that came out of his mouth. "But you also forgot a lot of other people...a few of your friends from school, a few of your cousins. And..." I blinked the tears away and focused on Tariq, who looked so torn, so solemn. "You forgot Tariq. I ordered the doctors to do tests, to see who you remembered and who you didn't. Those that you didn't I asked them to be removed from your life, with the exception of Ziad."

I snapped my head up in shock. "Why would you do that?!"

Baba shook his head in regret. "I don't know Sameena," he whispered. "I don't know. I genuinely believed that it would be the best for your happiness and protection. That it would cause you less suffering and pain. It hurt observing you become exhausted day after day of being taught who was who, and how to regain your speech. Eventually, I decided that this would be the easiest way out. I was mourning your mother's death and I guess, I just wasn't thinking straight." He gave me an apologetic look. "I only intended the best for you Sameena. I really did. And now I know that the decisions I made might not have been the best ones, but they were done with a good heart."

My tears had stopped; maybe because I had none left within me, or maybe because my emotions and my brain couldn't handle all of this emotion.

And despite everything they told me, there was only one question on my tongue.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Tariq and baba shared a cautionary glance.

"Did you ever plan on telling me?" I gritted out, suddenly annoyed by their silence.

"To be honest with you Sameena, no." I stared at baba incredulously.

"Tariq?" I asked, my voice wobbly.

He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from me. Without looking at me, he answered.

"No."

I took in a sharp breath. "Why not?!" I asked, trying my very hardest to yell. I was wrong. I wasn't completely numb, because there was one emotion that I was finding it very easy to feel; anger. Tariq's eyes still weren't on mine when he opened his mouth to speak. "No, you look at me Tariq and you justify your answer," I said fiercely.

He swallowed and nodded his head tightly. Finally, his dull grey eyes met my furious ones. "For the simple reason that I didn't want to hurt you," he answered half-heartedly.

I shook my head vigorously. "No, don't give me the easy response. Tell me the real reason," I demanded.

"Because of exactly what's happening right now!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Forgive me for being a little selfish, but I always knew that if you were to find out, you wouldn't be happy that we've kept it from you this long and it might jeopardise my relationship with you. And that's just a risk I was not willing to take." He came to kneel in front of me again and I could see how hard he was fighting with himself. "You mean so damn much to me and if telling you meant loosing you..." he trailed off. "I already lost you once Sameena, I can't loose you a second time."

The rational, semi-functioning part of my brain was yelling at me to forgive Tariq, begging me to understand his reasoning. And part of me already forgave him.

But at the moment, the larger, more dominant irrational part of my brain was still boiling with fury and hurt. I had had enough of people telling me that I could trust them, that they would never lie to me, before doing exactly that. It was in unfortunate moments like these that as always, my past came back to haunt me and I was suddenly left wondering whether I could trust Tariq.

Tariq, who had just gained my full-fledged trust recently.

And now, he had been keeping an even bigger secret from me than I imagined.

I told you, a part of my brain began to taunt menacingly, you can't trust any of them...you're not even married and he's keeping secrets...imagine later on.

Slowly, as more hurt seeped in, my rage increased.

"How COULD you?!" I yelled, standing up with such force that the chair behind me fell over. Tears of hurt, of betrayal, of every emotion I had bottled up within me slid down my face in waves. 

Shocked, both men recoiled.

"Sameena, please, this was for your own protection, your own happiness," baba said in a strained voice and I shook my head at him, biting my lip in case I would say something I would come to regret. 

"Yes, I can see how that works because I am so happy right now aren't I?" 

"Try to understand Sameena, we-," 

"You! You..." I trailed off, pointing a shaky finger at Tariq. "I-I don't even know you!" I yelled again, infuriated. He looked hurt at my comment but I didn't even care. Not right now, I just couldn't. Not after he lied to me.

"Sam-," 

"How dare you keep information like this from me?!"

"Your mother would've wanted this too," baba said in an attempt to placate me.

"Well guess what, mums dead!" I broke down into sobs as the words escaped my lips and I hurriedly lifted my hands up to cover my face. After a moment, I composed myself and swiped away my tears. "I suffered a brain injury, was in a coma for eight months loosing parts of my memory in the same accident that mum died in and for all these years, you never once thought it was important to tell me...not even you Tariq." 

"Sameena," he started, his voice hoarse and eyes pleading. "You forgot me. Admittedly, we weren't best friends but we were close. It wasn't as easy as coming up to your doorstep the first day and telling you everything." 

"You lied to me," I stated. "You should have told me before the fatiha."

"I was the one who forced him to stay away from you Sameena," baba added in a low, tired voice. 

"Well then you're a liar too. Ziad and Samir, Salem...you're all liars. You didn't even give me the liberty of knowing, so that I could decide whether it would influence my happiness or not. You always think you know what's best for me," I directed this to baba, giving him an icy glare. "Well here." I pulled out the shiny black device from my pocket and threw it at him. "Listen to that and you'll see who was right or wrong," I spat. 

Baba and Tariq looked at me as if they had never seen me before and my eyes welled up with tears again.

With that, I ran out of the room, ignoring the calls of my name. I headed straight for my room, locking the door behind me. Tears were pouring down my face mercilessly and as I pulled out a duffel bag from my closest, I realised that everything made sense now.

My migraines that were on such a severe scale. 

All the times that my family would divert the subject whenever the topic of my early teen years came up. 

All of Tariq's slip ups.

The flashbacks in my dreams that always seemed too real.

The way I could look at some of our family friends and get a headache just by trying to figure out their familiar face and where I had seen them before.

It explained why my brothers had more memories of mama than I did.

But it was more than that too. I shuddered at the thought of how many people baba had to rip from my life just because I had forgotten them.

All the fears and lack of trust I directed towards men and to an extent, greater society, was now aimed at my own family. My own brothers, my best friends, my twin, the ones who I would reveal every thought and emotion to, didn't see fit to tell me. 

In his own way, Tariq had betrayed me, lied to me too and done the very thing that he promised me he wouldn't. He had said he wouldn't hurt me. That he would do everything in his power to protect me. 

Yet I couldn't help but feel like my world had come crashing down.

Because I thought that out of all the men, Tariq was going to be unique, the one who would hold no secrets from me, the one who was genuine and cared for me. Maybe he did...but I still felt like he had personally put the dagger into my back and ripped out my heart. 

I threw things into the bag haphazardly - a mixture of clothes and essentials -and when I was sure I had enough, I opened my window and used the old apple tree to climb down the side of our building.

As I stumbled my way down, there was only one thought that repeated itself through my mind.

I wish you were here mama.

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A/N

Well?