*wriggles around in the closet, looking for excuses as to why this book hasn't been updated in over a month* 

Oh, look I found something. 

A little something called....are you ready...

UNIVERSITY. 

But seriously, I am sooooo sorry for keeping you guys waiting this long, especially on a cliffhanger. I'm also sorry that after such a long time the chapter isn't long but honestly, this is all I could manage with such a busy schedule. 

The good news is that I finish in a month! And then the showering of updates will begin :D

Enjoy my very patient readers!

#Chapter Forty Five#

Tariq's POV.

"I love you too," I whispered, my voice sounding nothing like my own.

I knew I was supposed to be doing something.

Anything!

I was a doctor for God's sake, I had been trained for this!

Yet as I felt Sameena's petite body go limp in my arms, my panic skyrocketed and I felt bile rising up my throat.

What if...what if...

No, I couldn't even think it!

I wiped the tears that had wetted my cheek and looked down at her. The blood was still oozing out of her chest wound at an alarming rate despite the jacket that I had wrapped around it. She was pale, way too pale, and in my trembling state I couldn't even identify if she was breathing or not.

"If you don't start doing something within the next second I'll strangle you." Tilting my head upwards, I searched for the familiar, deep baritone voice. My eyes eventually met with Salem's furious ones and when I simply sat there and stared at him like he was from outer space, he grabbed me violently by the collar. "Sameena's life is on the line! Do you understand that or not?!" he yelled into my face and I flinched, both at his tone and at the spittle that hit my face.

Sameena's life is on the line.

I felt like I had been slapped across the face.

Salem must've noticed the renewed determination in my eyes because he instantly let go of me. I immediately bent down and placed my ear above her mouth and to my utter relief, I heard two, very faint and uneven breaths.

Not good, but it could be worse...

I placed her in the recovery position and opened her mouth to check if there was any blood or mucus blocking her airways.

Nothing.

I had just laid her back down and bent to check her breathing again when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

"Sir, if you could please step aside."

My annoyance quickly turned into relief when two paramedics squatted next to me and began to assess Sameena exactly as I had. As soon as they located a pulse and breath, they readied themselves to haul her onto the stretcher.

"Do you know what happened to the patient?" one of the paramedics, a short yet muscly woman asked me.

I nodded my head and swallowed. I was glad that at least in this, I could help.

"Gun shot wound to the chest area. Excessive bleeding. Narrow pulse pressure and tachycardia. My best guess would be massive hemothorax in the hilum of the lung." The two paramedics stared at me dumbfounded for all of one second before they must've come to the conclusion that I was a doctor.

"Thank you Sir, that's very useful. If you could please accompany us to the hospital..."

I nodded my head quickly and turned to find Salem.

I found him standing directly behind me, completely frozen. He was staring at Sameena's body with such a mixture of hope, sadness, dread, guilt, anger, and disappointment that even in my own fragile state, I felt the need to reassure him.

"I think she's going to be fine Salem." When he looked at me, I felt like he looked right through me. "Where is her family?"

He cleared his throat. "Safe and in lockdown...we'll meet you at the hospital."

With that, he turned around and left.

I couldn't discern my feelings five minutes later, as I watched them cut Sameena's top in half, pull it away from her body and begin to bandage her wound. I felt like I had gone into auto-drive, moving and speaking when needed but I wasn't really feeling anything.

I was numb and I didn't know if this was reality or a sick dream.

What I did know how to do was stare at Sameena's face and hope that any second now, she would open her eyes. I was a doctor and I knew what her chances were with a chest injury yet that didn't stop me from whispering over and over for her to wake up.

Anything is possible. Please ya Allah return her health and give her a speedy recovery.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, they quickly pulled her out and began to roll her inside the emergency ward. I followed their footsteps, hurriedly trying to keep up with their pace.

"We need an immediate x-ray of the chest."

"Preparation for surgery in O.R. 1."

"Patient's blood pressure is falling!"

I was so focused on the voices emanating from around me that I didn't realise one doctor step in front of me and block my entry into the room. "Thank you for your help thus far but we will handle it from here Sir."

I frowned. "I'm coming in."

"No you are not Sir. It's protocol. You must stay outside for safety reasons."

"I'm a doctor! And her fiancé, I have to come inside!"

It was only when I felt hands grasp me from either side of my body and pull me away that I began to fall into hysterics.

"I'm sorry Sir."

"I'm a doctor!" I yelled at him, blinking away the tears in my eyes. "I can help! Dammit, let me in!"

"Sir, please calm down. She will be taken care of, there is nothing you can do for her now."

"But I can! I'm a doctor!" I repeated.

They only continued to pull me away.

"Just be patient Sir."

"SAMEENA!" I thrashed against the arms holding me down but two people were too strong for me.

"Sir if you don't calm down we'll have no choice but to sedate you!"

I wasn't even listening. All I could comprehend was the room being distanced away from me and with that, Sameena.

"I'm sorry Sameena," I whispered, finally allowing myself to fall to my knees. "I'm so sorry."

####

I washed my face for the tenth time and avoided looking at the mirror, fearing the figure that would stare back at me. It had been twenty minutes since more than ten doctors witnessed me break down in the middle of the emergency hallway. The two nurses that were with me were very kind and had half-carried me to the bathroom. After re-assuring them countless times that I could manage on my own, they departed with promises to keep me updated on Sameena's progress.

Sameena...

I sighed tiredly and tried not to focus on the fact that she was in surgery.

She's going to be fine and I know it. How do I know it? Because if she's not then I cease to exist. And right now I have never felt more alive, in the worst possible sense.

Instead, I walked out of the bathroom and headed down towards the waiting hall to meet our family.

It wasn't going to be easy.

True to my expectation, the first thing I witnessed when I stepped foot into the room was my mother sobbing loudly into my father's shoulder. He had one hand wrapped around her petite frame and the other hanging limply between his legs.

Elisa and Lia were both weeping silently in their corners.

Ziad was staring off into the distance and Sarah was attempting to settle a restless Abir... both of their faces portrayed the exhaustion we were all feeling.

'Amo was standing to the corner, one hand holding the phone up to his ear and the other rubbing at his bloodshot eyes.

Mira was rocking back and forth on her chair and the only person that wasn't sitting down, was Salem.

I coughed. "Salam."

Everyone's head snapped up and I instantly turned away from their mutual facial expressions.

The expression of hope.

"Any news habibi? Please tell us what's happening!" my mother was quick to ask, getting to her feet and walking towards me.

I grasped her hands and slowly brought them to my lips, placing two gentle kisses on each. "She's still in surgery," I announced, loud enough for everyone to hear. "In shaa Allah...in shaa Allah she will be fine."

No one said anything for a long while after that and soon, the silence turned into relentless tension. For the next hour, I merely watched Salem as he paced up and down the room, following his every movement with my eye.

It was therapeutic, up until he decided to change course.

None of us even saw it coming.

He lifted one of the wooden chairs and threw it against the wall with such violent force, that it smashed into smithereens on impact. He let out a frustrated cry as he picked up another chair and did exactly the same. By the time his hand had touched the third, I was on my feet, attempting to hold him back.

My efforts alone were fruitless. It wasn't until three guards finally came to my aid and pushed him back that he let go of the chair in his hand.

"Salem, I understand that this is a difficult time but you need to calm do-,"

I was slammed against the wall before I could even finish my sentence.

"You're telling me to calm down? Calm down...when the very person I was supposed to protect is lying on a bed, unconscious and bleeding with multiple hands inside of her wounded body!"

"It wasn't your fault!"

He slammed me against the wall again and this time, I thought I heard a crack. "YES IT IS!"

"Salem, let go of him right now!" 'Amo demanded, but he was too far gone in his grief.

"Thirty five bodyguards dead...dead!"

My eyes widened and I suddenly wasn't able to support myself as much as before.

Thirty five.

Men. Fathers. Brothers. Husbands. Friends.

"Ahmed is dead!" he yelled into my face, shaking my body roughly as if it was the only way that I would understand what he was saying.

"I-I'm sorry."

"I failed her," he whispered brokenly, finally letting go of me to stare at the floor. Perhaps he was hiding the tears in his eyes. "I failed the second most important person in my life. And I will never forgive myself for it."

"Salem please..." Mira was by his side, attempting to comfort him but he shrugged her off.

He turned to face 'amo and the look on his face sent a shiver through my body.

"I resign from this job." 

####