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The Fanfiction Genre

"Between Two Worlds: A Prequel to the Mandalorian Series"

Finished in 3rd place out of 20 competitors.

Scoring and Review by lantea-:

     Basic Introduction (18 points): The cover fits the story and is appealing. The art is pretty and it represents Kyra well. The font is a little plain and doesn't feel like Star Wars, but the title is easy to read. The author name at the top is a little hard to read. The title is appealing and it fits the story, however, it's a little long. The blurb introduces the story and characters well.

     First Impression (5 points): Chapter three is an hour long and chapter four is twenty-four minutes long. Those chapters were long and I suggest breaking them up so they're not as overwhelming for the readers. After reading some of The Mandalorian and the Jedi for the science fiction judging, it was interesting to learn more about Kyra's background and see how these events affected her and made her who she is.

     Story Mechanics (20 points): The plot is alright, a lot of what I read seemed to be from The Clone Wars and Obi-Wan Kenobi with Kyra added. For those who have seen the shows, these parts can be a little boring. The action from those scenes weren't as engaging, try adding more descriptions and showing Kyra's feelings. Kyra is a well-thought-out character and her personality is clearly shown throughout the chapters. The author clearly put a lot of thought into her background and how she fit into the existing stories. The characters from Star Wars are true to themselves and depicted accurately throughout the story. The author did a good job with Yoda's dialogue, he can be a hard character to accurately portray due to the strange way he speaks.

     Grammar & Vocabulary (19 points): I noticed a few spelling errors and spots where an incorrect word was used, but it wasn't anything that distracted from the story.

     Writing Style (17 points): The pacing of the story was good, except for chapter three. Chapter three felt like the pace was slower even though there was a lot of action going on. The writing style was done well. The author worked information and descriptions into the story well. Some of the scenes could have used more descriptions to describe the actions happening.

     Short Review (79 total points): Overall, the book is interesting, however it could use some work. Kyra is an interesting and well-thought-out character. During the parts from the Star Wars shows, make sure to include more of Kyra's point of view of these events. Repeating the show events with little change gets boring for those who know them. The action scenes could use more descriptions so the author isn't simply telling the readers what's happening and is showing them instead. Good luck with your story!

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The Paranormal/Horror Genre

"Always Faithful"

Honorable Mention

Scoring and Review by lantea-:

     Basic Introduction (16 points): The picture of the cover is cool and I like that the character's name is on the heart. The font is a little plain and I feel like it doesn't really fit the cover and story. I suggest centering the author name on the cover. The title is appealing and fits the story. The blurb introduces the characters and the story well. It definitely draws readers in and makes them want to read the story.

     First Impression (10 points): I was drawn into the story instantly! I wanted to keep reading to see where it goes. I also really want to know who killed Anna's mother and who killed Lyla. Carter is such a terrible person, I really want to punch him.

     Story Mechanics (30 points): The plot of the story is intriguing and it draws readers in. The mystery and paranormal aspects of the story are interesting. The exposition introduces the characters, their situations, and the world well. The characters are described in the story well. Their personalities are also shown well throughout the chapters. I liked the flashback moments in chapter three, they helped develop the characters more.

     Grammar & Vocabulary (16 points): There are a few spelling and grammar errors in the chapters. Just a note, there are a few spots in the first chapter where spaces are missing between words.

     Writing Style (15 points): The story is progressing at a nice pace. The writing style is well done. The author describes everything very well. I do think some of the descriptions are a little much though, like the run-down of everything Lavender's house has. The scene switches in chapter four were very cool.

     Short Review (87 total points): Overall, the plot is interesting, however, the story could use a few adjustments. Some of the descriptions could be shortened or the information spread out so it's not dumped on the readers at once. The story also needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors. The story draws readers in and readers want to keep reading the see what happens. The characters' are interesting as well. Good luck with your story!

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The Science Fiction Genre

"The Mandalorian and the Jedi: Book One of the Mandalorian Series"

Honorable Mention

Scoring and Review by lantea-:

     Basic Introduction (10 points): The cover of the story isn't very appealing. The yellow and the blue don't mix well together and doesn't feel very Star Wars. The title is kinda small, I suggest making it bigger. I also suggest moving the models in so they're more centered on the cover and also making them a bit bigger. The title fits the story, but it's not unique and it's kinda long. The blurb introduces the story and the characters well.

     First Impression (3 points): The chapters are so long! All the chapters (except the prologue) are 25+ minutes to read and one chapter is an hour to read. I definitely recommend splitting up the chapters so they're not so long and not as overwhelming for the readers. The story has an interesting premise and I was excited to see how it goes. However, it seems to be mostly a novelization of The Mandalorian, especially in the earlier chapters.

     Story Mechanics (13 points): As mentioned, there's a lot of novelization of the show in the story. I understand it's needed with the author including their character in the events of the show, however, it got a little boring as it was mostly the same, especially early on. Some of the parts from the show were also a little dry, it felt like the readers were simply being told what was happening like a summary of the show. Try writing some of the show parts a little differently from how they appear in the show. Some of the things don't need to be exactly the same as you're already altering the events with the inclusion of Kyra. It would have been nice if Kyra had been introduced earlier in the story and the readers had seen more of her before she met Din. The characters from Star Wars were true to themselves, which I commend the author for. Kyra's character appears to be well-thought-out. She seems to know a lot of the characters from the movies/shows. Your character doesn't need to know everybody in Star Wars, the story can still be interesting without all the connections. Din and Kyra's relationship is also developing nicely.

     Grammar & Vocabulary (19 points): I noticed a few spelling errors throughout the chapters.

     Writing Style (15 points): The pacing of the story was done well as the author is following the events of the show. The writing style was good. The author worked information and descriptions into the story well. As mentioned, some of the scenes from the show could have used more descriptions to show the readers what was happening instead of telling them.

     Short Review (60 total points): Overall, I was interested in the different take on The Mandalorian and I was interested in seeing how Kyra fit into it. I don't think I'd read on though. The parts that were a direct novelization of the show were boring. I just wish they had been a little different or told differently and the author had shown their own style when writing them. Also as mentioned, the chapters were very long and need to be broken up. I had to take breaks when reading some of the chapters, especially the hour long one, and that's not something you want the readers to do. Kyra's character is pretty interesting, although I don't think all the connections to existing characters are really needed. I really would have liked to see some more scenes of her before she ran into Din. It would have helped the readers get to know her more before her relationship starts with Din and they're thrown into the whole adventure. It also would have broken up the parts from the show more. Good luck with your story!

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