(italics for lyrics)

Turning the knob, she double checked the volume of the bass and keyboard before turning to the mic. She had decided to pre-record the instrumental bits before adding in her voice and mixing it. Taking a few minutes to warm up, she decided she had stalled enough. Plugging in her headphones, she put them on and began.

Tell me what to say
And lead me through the shadows
Show me the escape
Where you go I will follow

Starting up with the keyboard, she gradually added in the bass, drums and electronic beats. Everything blended together perfectly and she was relived that it was.

I left behind
All that I used to be
So that you'd stay with me

Getting lost in the music, she let her mind wander as she continued mixing and singing.

And you've become
Everything that I need
For my sanity

The company had originally mistaken her for a male when she auditioned and she'd been introduced as a male idol. Her short, messy hair, larger clothing and lack of feminine assets didn't help.

How can something so enticing
Have such awful side effects?
All the itching and the scratching
From withdrawal keeps me out of check

But she had been dreaming of being an idol her entire life and something like this wouldn't stop her. Once they figured out their mistake, it was too late. She was immensely popular among both genders and was committed. After several meetings, the company finally gave in and allowed her to stay.

I am fixated
On all of the things
We were together...
But those are fragments
That are better off
Lost forever

Pretending to be a dude wasn't as hard as it appeared to be. Having a lower voice and tomboyish attitude certainly helped. There wasn't a lot she consciously tried to change. It was just a matter of making sure she didn't go to the wrong washroom or change in front of others.

I'm falling apart piece by piece
To shards of what you have made of me
But I've risen above all that I have become
Turned from the pain I was trained to love

Her acting skills were good enough that even the majority of the staff were unaware of that fact she was a girl. Only the few assigned to her were aware but they were cool headed about it and treated her normally.

I left behind
All that I used to be
But this time
I did it to me
And you were everything I needed
To set me free

Singing was slightly difficult as she had to sing in a lower octave than she originally thought she was capable of but she managed. Granted access to the large studios filled with high-tech equipment allowed her to slightly tweak her voice, making it more masculine.

I am not going to be scared anymore.
I will not run
Nothing will stop me
I am much stronger than you'll ever give me credit for
I won't let you belittle me
You can't hurt me
I am strong
I am fearless
I survived
I'm proud of myself
I love myself
I'm happy
I don't need you
I'm unstoppable
I am brave
I'm a good person
Never again
I did this for me

After several albums, concerts and a meet and greet, she began getting recognition among the idol community. Fans recognized her in the street, high paying offers filled her mailbox and practically every music store held a copy of her songs.

If I cut the strings
That held me hostage
Would fall and shatter?
If that's what it takes
To breathe again
Would it even matter?

Rising in popularity also meant having to deal with fans. The good majority of them were polite and spending time with them was a treat but once in a while she came across more ................. enthusiastic individuals. One had broken into her house and stole a pair of her shoes. Another had stalked her through a mall and had to be thrown out by security. Others sent unnerving notes and messages, asking if they could meet him, get together and marry underneath a full moon in Hawaii.

How can something so enticing
Have such awful side effects?
All the itching and the scratching
From withdrawal keeps me out of check

To say she was concerned was an understatement but she understood what it meant to be a fangirl. Regardless of how creepy and personally invading the notes were, she would still write back. She believed that everyone deserved to be noticed by their idol and found joy in communicating with her fans.

I am fixated
On all of the things
We were together...
But those are fragments
That are better off
Lost...

Her social media blew up, with a new 7,000 followers in less than an hour of her debut. Each day it continued to grow and it took everything she had not to start crying every time someone left her a nice post. She made sure to respond to each and everyone and followed a bunch.

And just
How can something so enticing
Have such awful side effects?
All the itching and the scratching
From withdrawal keeps me out of check

It was all perfect, something out of a dream. She was an idol, people admired and adored her, her job was her passion and she was able to give back to her family. Nothing could have beat it.

I am fixated
On all of the things
We were together...
But those are fragments
That are better off...
Lost forever!

Snapping back to reality, she added the finishing touches to her song, giving a electric tone to her voice. Satisfied, she burned it onto a disk, turned off the mixer and microphone and went to go deliver her latest hit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at it with another song fic. I'm in love with Vocaloid covers by YouTubers like JubyPhonic and Rachie. My favorite Vocaloid is IA because her voice is in a similar range to mine and is less shrill.

QOTC: Do you like Vocaloid and if you do who's your favorite?

Thanks for reading!
- FAH

Written: July 30, 2017
Published: July 30, 2017
Last Updated: January 1, 2017
Song: Crystalline by Gumi
Cover by ZatsuFox on YouTube
Picture: Unknown