The one time that I went to class, it was absolute torture, and not just because everyone refused to sit next to me, but because of Scarhead and Weasel. I swear I'd never heard anyone louder than those two at that very moment. "You bloody player!", the ginger shouted loudly. My head wasn't the only one turning around to see Potter trying to shut his friend up. They slightly reminded me of myself and Blaise in earlier years, but I couldn't help but be curious as to what they were talking about. I turned my gaze back to my potion, this was too easy for me. Honestly, this was supposed to be Advanced Potions. Half the people here were too bad at the subject to be here and I was too good at it. This class was a joke.

Just as I finished my potion, I heard Weasel cackling as Potter started striking poses, flexing his muscles. In all honesty, damn. The next thing I know, blue goo was dripping all over Potter. They really sucked at Potions, it was supposed to be a yellow liquid.

I was actually done right after potions luckily. On Tuesdays, I finished an hour earlier than on other days. I jumped onto my bed and opened my book. I had already read every book about potions or astronomy or quidditch, so I'd decided upon a new subject to learn by heart; Dragons. They were actually very fascinating creatures. Did you know many great leaders in history were born in the Chinese year of the dragon?

I was plunged deep in my book when suddenly the door to my room was slammed open and loudly closed again. Potter. He glanced at me, but I blatantly ignored him. He ruined potions for me, but he wasn't about to ruin my book. That was at least until I noticed he was undressing. My eyes had just simply fluttered to see what he was doing, but now I couldn't stop staring. Merlin, Potter was ripped. I scanned every single muscle, getting sudden urges to feel them against me. Then, he noticed me looking. I diverted my eyes reluctantly, staring at the page of my book.

"What are you reading?", he asked, leaning against his bed. Did he not acknowledge the fact I was totally checking him out? Thank Merlin. I looked back at him. "It's, Uhm, it's called 'The History of the Vecer Dragon.", I answered quietly. Suddenly he approached me, I immediately panicked, my first thought was that he was going to punch me and scold me for looking at him while he was changing, so I started gripping my book tighter. He didn't do that though, he simply leaned over my shoulder to look at the book. He was so close...

"Charlie Weasley works with Dragons, if you're interested I could ask him for some books?", he proposed. I was interested, just not in that. It was very...thoughtful of him though, friendly. I sighed, "You stink. Go get a shower before you get your goo all over my bed sheets.", I answered. I was desperately trying to get him to leave so I could sprint out of my room as fast as I could. He chuckled, then he leaned in further and whispered into my ear: "What goo are we talking about here?". He didn't wait for an answer as he walked into our bathroom, closing the door behind him. I couldn't believe my ears. My mind couldn't help thinking about...well...

My face bright red, and my mind clearly elsewhere, I ran out of our room into the girl's lavatory, my only safe place, my Potter-free empire. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face really was red, as red as Weasel's hair. Bloody Hell, that boy sure knew how to make my blood boil, but perhaps just not in the way I initially thought. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths. I could barely comprehend what had just happened in our room. How on earth was I supposed to face him after what just happened?

I shook it off and turned around, the brick was screaming at me to pick it up. I did, flipping through the diary pages.

I'm glad you liked the advice! And I do indeed have that same problem, I've been in multiple scandals, and each one was always a lie. It's not great for your social life to have everyone around you turn on you just to figure out you were right all along and apologize. This cycle continues, on and on and on. I'm just so tired of it. I've been unable to sleep ever since the war. Before the war, I used to get nightmares, I don't anymore, but...I miss them. I'd never thought I'd miss them because they were terrible, but at least I slept. On a cheerier note, it actually feels amazing to be able to vent to someone. You're very understanding and you seem like a lovely person, I couldn't possibly imagine you doing anything wrong! I hope you feel as happy as I do with our exchange.

I smiled at the person's message, but deep down I felt sad knowing that I did do bad things. I'd been in the wrong most of my life. I sighed again, suddenly feeling an itch all over my body. I tried not to, but my body couldn't help, but take me back to my room past Potter and into the bathroom.

With my clothes still on, I turned on the shower and started scrubbing my skin as hard as I could. My dark mark was still visible, it was always going to be, much to my dismay. So, I scrubbed and scrubbed until blood trickled down my arm and down the drain, staining my clothes. I sat down against the shower wall and buried my face in my arms.

I heard a knock on the door, "Malfoy?". I didn't want Potter to see me like this, so I immediately got up. "Don't come in! I just came out of the shower, I'm naked!", I yelled back, panicking. I heard a chuckle on the other side of the door as he said: "That's not going to stop me.". Merlin, this boy was horny!

I quickly threw my shirt on the floor and started desperately cleaning the wound. It stung, but I had no choice, but to be quick. Potter couldn't see me like this again, he might suspect what I was doing to myself. Perhaps he already knew!

Then I heard the door creak open as I was standing in front of the sink without a shirt, with wet messy hair, and scars on my dark mark. My eyes widened as his eyes lowered to my forearm. "I showed you how to clean the wounds last time, did you already forget?", he said, raising a brow. He didn't seem all that fazed. I simply looked at him, so he did know all along. He didn't even tell me to stop, he didn't even pity me. It was... different. He walked back into our room, gesturing for me to follow him. Then he reached inside his trunk and got out some disinfectant and bandages. He sprayed the wound and bandaged it up, pausing slightly to look at my dark mark. It made me slightly uncomfortable, I didn't like it when people looked at it or touched me in general. I didn't have good memories of people touching me.

"Thanks.", I mumbled at him, diverting my eyes.

He sat down against the wall, opposite my bed, "How often do you hurt yourself?", he asked. I glanced at him, was he for real? We weren't even friends and he suddenly thought this was a good time for chit-chat? "You're not my therapist, Potter.", I scowled, moving in my seat. He raised a brow, "Do you have a therapist?", he questioned, still looking at me. He was so difficult to read, his eyes wouldn't give anything away. He changed...

"No-", I started before he rudely interrupted me, standing up, "Well, then I'm the best you've got.", he responded with a soft smile, leaving the dorm. This time I was able to read his eyes, they screamed 'empathy' and something else I wasn't quite able to figure out. He wasn't wrong though, I barely had any friends.

I sighed, grabbing a shirt and going back to the bathroom. I felt like I needed to clean up my mess. Even back at our manor, I never let the house elves clean my room. I washed my shirt, swept the shower and sink, and mopped the floor. All done. As I was about to follow Potter's example and walk out of the room, I saw a letter lying on the floor addressed to a 'Teddy Lupin'. I recognized the last name immediately and was met with a kind of regret over how I'd treated my old professor in my third year. I wish I could've said sorry before he died. I put the note back and left our room where I was immediately met with Pansy.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you, you disappeared after class! I wanted to hang out with you!", she smiled, grabbing my arm and dragging me down the stairs and out of our common room. "I was wondering if you wanted to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend, no..., actually I'm forcing you to come with me. I'm not about to let you suffocate in that room of yours where you spend all your time!", she exclaimed as we walked through the corridors.

I sighed and nodded reluctantly. I never talked too much, which Pansy didn't mind, she loved to talk and I loved to listen. Eventually, we arrived at the lake and we just looked at it for a while. "Do you ever think that the Giant Squid is lonely in there?", I suddenly said. She must've been as surprised as I was at my own question. She shrugged, "I suppose it has many companions inside of the lake, but yes, I do think it gets lonely sometimes. There's no other creature in the lake that's quite as big as the Giant Squid, so it has no equal in that category. Why do you ask?", she responded. She glanced at me as I looked into the black water thoughtfully. "What if I said the squid made a friend who could be his equal?", I mumbled. She smiled and slowly nudged my arm, "Who'd you befriend?", she asked, sitting us down in the grass. I sighed. I didn't know if I could call whoever I was talking to a friend, but I considered them as one. "I don't think I'm ready to say.", I answered to avoid the subject of the diary and the notes and the feelings that were all over the place. She nodded and we proceeded to just simply look at the lake in comfortable silence.

***

After our walk to the black lake, we started making our way back to the castle. In one of the corridors we were met with a group of sixth year Gryffindors. They blocked us from being able to move on. I had a bad feeling about them...

"Enjoy your walk Malfoy?", the tallest one of them asked (I was still taller though). He slowly approached me, his hands in his pockets. "It's not too bad.", I answered quietly. I didn't need any more confrontations in my life, I just wanted to walk away from them. "Good for you, but not so good for us. You see, you made my family's life a living Hell, Malfoy. I believe you might know them. Let me introduce myself, Daniel Browne.", he scowled, only a foot away from me.

The Brownes...I remember them. My father was talking to another Death Eater about them. I wasn't involved since I didn't have the dark mark yet, but I heard them talk about termination. I think they all came to fight in the war too, where he must've lost his sister and father.

I sighed, holding up my hands in defense, "Look, we don't want any trouble.", I said, backing off with Pansy. Then Browne's eyes diverted to Pansy. "It's too late for that now, Malfoy.", he spat as he backed me up against a wall. He smelled bad, like really bad, like worse than Goyle bad. "I'm sorry about your family, Browne, but please let us go.", I replied, looking away from him. I wasn't about to make eye contact with him. He simply sniggered, throwing a punch in my stomach. I immediately collapsed onto the floor, clutching my stomach. He wasn't strong and neither had been the punch, but with my fragile frame and frequent losses of blood, everything hurt. His minions laughed behind him as they watched me try to stand back up. Then they just kicked me again so I couldn't.

Meanwhile, Pansy was being forced to watch in horror as I couldn't even help myself. When I looked at her, I could see her cry as Browne gripped her face in her hands. "Now Pansy Parkinson. You're not quite the sweetheart either, are you? Ratting out Potter like that. Tsk Tsk Tsk.", he sniggered, caressing her face with his index finger. She tried to escape from his arms and get to me, in order to do that she punched Browne really hard. She might've broken his nose honestly.

He was furious, getting her back in his grip, now actually strangling her. "How dare you punch me!", he scowled at her. Seeing Pansy like that, helpless, scared even, made me angry. I couldn't care less about how they treated me as long as no one treated my friends badly. I took my wand out of my pocket discreetly and pointed it at Browne. "Alarte Ascendare!", I whispered. He shot high into the air and fell back down.

He immediately started crying and screaming as his minions rushed over to him. Pansy and I ran as fast as we could and sat down as soon as we turned the corner. "Merlin, we have to get you to the Hospital Wing Draco.", she said, looking at me worriedly. I had a nosebleed and maybe even some fractured ribs, who knew? "I'm fine Pansy. Let's just go to the Great Hall, I'm hungry.", I insisted. I wasn't in the mood to go to the hospital wing, I just wanted to eat. Even though my body wanted to vomit it out, I was hungry. This was also the perfect time to try the mystery person's advice. A little at a time.

As soon as we entered all eyes were on us and not just because everyone intensely disliked us, but because of the way we looked; blood on our shirts and barely able to walk. We sat down at the far end of the Slytherin table as people immediately started gossiping about us. What a rollercoaster of emotions, this day.