a/n: hi guys! (advanced) merry christmas! :DDD 

we reached 20 chapters! yaaay! sadly, i wasn't able to get to the christmas-y part of the story in time but... thank you everyone for your support up til now. i really appreciate it! :)))

also, i probably won't be updating for a week or so since i'd be going out of town for Christmas.
happy holidays, everyone~!

_____

"Cinna-chan~!"

I turned at the sound of the unique nickname I was given, fully aware who it was who was calling me. A certain tall, (almost) pink-haired male approached me, his gentle brown eyes filled with worry and apology. In his arms was a thick pile of papers, which I assumed were student council files.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to join you today!" he bowed lowly before straightening a little.

I shook my head to tell him that it was okay. I only stayed outside for a few minutes anyway; just enough time for me to quickly finish my food. As I still had some time to kill before lunch break would be over, I decided to continue reading the light novel, which Yuki-chan recommended (it's not yaoi, thank goodness), at the library. Normally, I'd compose a song or write some lyrics, but lately... I didn't really have the motivation to.

"Thank goodness!" Kanato-kun released a relieved sigh then smiled, his shoulders sagging a little. "President Akashi is particularly busy today, you see." As he shifted his weight to his left foot, my heart skipped a beat at the mention of the name. Ugh. "The Winter Cup is coming...," his eyes narrowed a little, "tomorrow." Ah. "So I guess he's trying to get a week's worth of work done these days. We offered to help him but...," he sighed, "he just gave us more work separate from his. At lunch time! Can you believe that?" Now, Kanato-kun looked really offended. His lips formed a childish pout.

I forced a giggle at Kanato-kun's complaint, but my thoughts were on something completely different. Someone, rather. Is Akashi-kun overworking himself? Shouldn't he be more focused on the Winter Cup for now? Shouldn't he be resting today—

Stop it, Saki.

"Kanato-kun! Hurry up!" an upperclassman shouted from a distance.

Again, Kanato-kun smiled apologetically before dismissing himself from me with a bow. We parted ways, but my mind remained on the topic we talked about briefly.

It remained that way until I reached the school's library. Upon opening the door and taking the first step inside, it was like I entered a different world; it didn't even feel like a part of the school if not for the students lounging around wearing the school's uniform. The library had a different atmosphere, but it wasn't completely similar to the library Akashi-kun and I studied in—Goodness me, Saki. Stop. Anyway, the library also had a lounge-like feel, making it seem more welcoming than most libraries I've been to.

As expected of prestigious schools.

I took a seat in the area where less people were around and opened the book.

***

Classes passed by in a blur, and soon it was time for us to go home. Since I was currently seated at the back of the class, I could get a decent view of most of my classmates. In 'most of my classmates', well, Akashi-kun is included. I couldn't help but get distracted every once in a while by his back and his crimson hair.

One time, he turned to my direction and our eyes met. His gaze then was ice cold, almost condescending, despite his face not really having a trace of emotion. Not a furrow of the brows, not a narrowing of his lips, nothing. It was I who broke the gaze. I kept my head bowed the rest of the time.

"Rise! Bow!" Akashi-kun yelled once the bell rang. Everyone did as he said.

"See you tomorrow!" we chorused. The teacher nodded and left the room.

As I was arranging my things in my bag, a shadow loomed over me. I looked up, and found Ayashikawa-san with a troubled smile. "Akiyama-san, do you think I should wish Akashi-kun luck? I always wish people luck but..." She glanced at Akashi-kun, who was also getting ready to go.

I wanted to flip my table. Or at least bang my head on my desk. Why do people keep talking about Akashi-kun today?! And why is she asking me?!

"...I don't see why not," I replied, though I avoided her eyes right after I made an effort to make a reassuring smile. I honestly didn't see what was wrong with that but I wasn't sure if Akashi-kun would reply favorably to the gentle Ayashikawa-san.

"Oh, okay..." She nodded thoughtfully. "I'm kind of intimidated by him, you see..." She hung her head a little as she scratched her cheek, chuckling sheepishly. "Since you spent time with Akashi-kun, I thought you'd know better, so I guess I'd follow your advice."

I nodded, though I was more than eager to correct her that the time spent with him wasn't really pleasant as she imagined. I didn't want to scare her, however, so I didn't.

She nodded, determined, before making her way toward Akashi-kun. Before she could even get close, however, he started taking a quick but steady stride out of the classroom. Ayashikawa-san didn't follow him, and instead she gave me a shrug and a bashful grin. I made what I think was a reassuring smile and shrugged back. She nodded before giving me a wave and walking out of the classroom.

I finished placing my things back in my bag before hanging it on my shoulder. My gaze on the floor, I made my way out of my classroom, avoiding each classmate who were on the way. I walked on the right side of the halls, which are closest to the windows, as I've heard that it was basically one of the rules but it wasn't particularly enforced. Doing so made me distracted by the abundance of activity outside, as seen through the windows. Sports clubs were busier than usual, I've noticed.

I was about to turn away when something else caught my attention—an oh-so familiar head of red hair. Squinting, I tried to get a better view, and I was right. Akashi-kun, in his winter uniform, was currently making his way to the basketball court. I groaned internally and intentionally bumped my head against the glass window. What am I doing?

"Uh... Akiyama-san? Are you okay?"

I jumped out of shock, my cheeks burning. Akari-sensei, carrying two boxes in front of her, was smiling at me with concern, her brows slightly creased.

"I-I'm okay, sensei...," I replied, now wanting to be buried alive. I basically acted weirdly in public, and out teacher just had to see it.

She nodded, still smiling. "Well then," she wiped some sweat off her face using her shoulder, "I'll see you around." Our adviser steadied the boxes again before starting to walk away.

"Um, Akari-sensei?" I called after her, my voice wavering. She turned to me curiously, her eyebrows raised and her gentle eyes wide. I pointed meekly to the boxes. "Would you like some help?" She opened her mouth to speak. "I... insist," I added softly, bowing my head a bit. Helping her now wouldn't even be enough to make up for the trouble I put her through during the time when I didn't want to leave my apartment.

Her expression relaxed, and she nodded gratefully. "If you insist, then there is no helping it..."

I took the top box, and I almost dropped it due to its weight. I didn't expect it to be so heavy! Well, you could blame it on my lack of strength, but I could tell that it was heavy even for an average girl like me. Akari-sensei shot me a look of concern, and I forced a timid smile.

She led me through corridors, and the whole time, all I wanted was to end the agony of carrying a really heavy box. And to think that Akari-sensei carried two of these? It made me wonder about her strength.

We soon reached her destination, which was the faculty room. Once we set the boxes in one side of the room, she headed straight to her seat, panting, and sat as if she collapsed. "Thanks a lot, Akiyama-san," she said as I bowed to excuse myself, "I'm sorry you had to carry that!"

I shook my head to say that it was okay.

She took a look on her desk filled with papers then turned to me with tired eyes. "Ah, do you know where Akashi-kun is?"

Again with Akashi-kun.

"...I saw him going to the court earlier..."

She released a tired heavy sigh after groaning a little.

"Akarin," another teacher chimed in, grinning at our adviser then at me, "you never really learn, do you?" He grabbed the file folder on top of Akari-sensei's desk then handed it to me. In an instinct, I took it, not really knowing what to do with it. Wait, don't tell me—

No. N-O.

The teacher now smiled a bit apologetically. "Can you please deliver this to Akashi-kun on your way out? You know where he is anyway."

Oh, Kami.

All I wanted was to refuse, but I didn't really have a good reason to. Plus, I didn't want to push the tired Akari-sensei further; as I've mentioned earlier, I had to make up to her. No matter how one may see it, I had no other choice.

"Okay..."

Kill me now.

***

"Oi. What are you doing here?"

I nearly jumped and fell over when a presence, which came out of nowhere, was already beside me. I didn't even notice him approach! I hesitantly looked up at him, my heart pounding out of shock and nervousness, and met his deadpan dark eyes—wait, scratch that. His eyes looked more empty and lifeless than deadpan.

Sweat dripping from his chin, he wiped some of it off with his white shirt then ran his fingers through his gray hair. Judging by his attire, he's most definitely a member of one of the sports clubs here in Rakuzan.

"Hey. I'm talking to you." He frowned, and I felt myself becoming small in his presence. Even with his earlier blank expression, he's still intimidating. He's most probably an upperclassman with this aura. "You've been outside the court for the past fifteen minutes."

An idea popped into my mind. I took a deep breath and tried to look at him. Nope. He's glaring. Too scary. I looked back down to my feet. "Uh... Are you...," I started softly and attempted to make my voice louder, "...a member of the basketball team?"

"I am. Why?"

Perfect. He could just give it to him!

I showed him the folder, my head still bowed. "You see... I need to deliver this to Akashi-kun and I was hoping—"

"Akashi." his voice was louder, and his body was inclined backwards to look at the court. Senpai, stop— "Someone's calling for you."

Can I please disappear now?

Can I be abducted by aliens now?!

The gray-haired player started walking away, and, soon enough, Akashi-kun was in front of me with his usual heavy gaze. "What is it?"

My eyes were anywhere but on him, my cheeks were on fire, and my heart was going wild in my chest. I wanted to just throw the file to him and run away, but, at the same time, I didn't want to seem pathetic to him right now. Liking someone really is a weird feeling, making you go through ironies like this.

I took a deep breath, and, with trembling hands, I handed to him the folder I was assigned with. "...Akari-sensei asked me to deliver it to you...," I told him, my voice barely above a whisper.

The folder being pulled, I let it go.

"Is there anything else?" he asked coldly, as usual. I shook my head, more than ready to leave. 

When it was silent for a moment, I decided to bow and excuse myself, intending to give myself a pat on the back later for surviving this situation. Mid-bow, however, his voice cut me off.

"One more thing."

I looked up hesitantly. His face was unreadable as he looked down on me. What did I expect? I averted my gaze automatically. "Yes...?"

"Regarding what happened a few days ago, I must admit that I overheard a... vital part of your conversation with Mariya."

All I could do was nod, the loud rhythmic beating of my heart disabling me from thinking of anything else other than his words, what they implied, and what he could be aiming to accomplish. Thinking of it filled me a sense of dread, and I didn't want to hear what he might be intending to say next.

"Let me make this clear: even if you are to confess in the near future, I will not reciprocate your feelings." His tone was steady and proper without a pint of pity or remorse.

A sharp pang came in my chest, as if thousands of ice shards came and pierced it. My feet were cemented on the ground, my knees stiff. My trembling hands held on to the hem of my uniform's top. I did not reply, as it didn't seem that he was finished yet. If I were to say anything, anyway, my voice would certainly come off as a croak.

"I do not have time for such trivial things. I have more important matters to attend to," he paused, his heterochromatic eyes on my bowed figure, "It will be best if you are to dispose of those useless emotions, not only for me, but for you as well."

"...I u-understand," I managed to say with my quivering lips and my shaking voice, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I won't cry in front of him. No. "Thank you for a-answer... Please excuse me," I breathed out, this time bowing fully. At the corner of my eyes, I saw him nod. 

With that, I started taking steady strides away from him. When I was far enough, my pace picked up and I was running. At the moment, I didn't even feel like caring when people looked my way. I just needed to leave this area and to get home. 

My blurry gaze remained on the ground the whole time, warm tears continuously rolling down my cheeks.