trigger warning: slight mention of suicide

pete didn't show up to the potions class that afternoon. brendon also wasn't there for defence against the dark arts. josh was a little concerned, but he waved it off as it was probably nothing. pete and him were masters at skipping classes.

josh noted that tyler's eyes were unfocused as he listened to professor carrow introduce the unforgivable curses. they were sitting apart now, as jenna always saved a seat for tyler whenever they shared a classroom. the brunette was a bit fidgety, constantly flicking a quill around his thumb.

"the unforgivable curses are three of the most powerful and sinister spells known to the wizarding world. the three curses consist of the killing curse, cruciatus curse and imperius curse." carrow explained. "because they are so powerful, their use requires both great willpower and great skill in order to bring about the effects."

professor carrow started mentioning a few honorable people that were killed or severely damaged by these curses when a red-haired boy raised his hand.

"yes?"

"umm... well, it's just a thought. whoever tries to k-kill someone using that curse-" he rambled.

"will go straight to the prison of azkaban." carrow completed.

"right. yes. ok. but what if... what if someone tried to kill themselves? would... i-is that possible?" the boy sounded genuinely curious.

"well, like i said... it requires a great amount of willpower. so, if said person really wanted to die, then, yes, it is possible." he replied.

the entire class was silent. advanced spells was always an interesting, though frightening subject.

tyler didn't speak throughout the entire lesson. when the bell rang, he simply nodded at josh and left, still silent. jenna had a worried look on her face as she watched him walking out the door.

...

tyler hadn't felt like this in a while. his entire skin was itching and his mind was hazy. he was starting to remember things, things he wanted to forget so badly.

he walked towards the common room, ignoring his rumbling stomach. a few students were sat by the fireplace, talking loudly. tyler ignored them and walked up the stairs to his dorm. he didn't know what he was going to do to stop the unwanted thoughts from surging through his head.

he should have figured out a way to cope with it a long time ago.

"she's dead, tyler. get out the way, she's dead." he heard his father's voice fill his ears. he was still holding his mother's face in his tiny hands. her beautiful, cold face.

he didn't want to let go.

"how the fuck am i gonna explain this to the police?" his father screamed, running his hands through his hair. but he didn't look sad.

tyler's eyes filled with tears. his father was now calling someone on his phone. little tyler watched as he took away her wand.

"no one's gonna believe it. no one." he said to himself, looking at the wand.

tyler took a deep breath. he sat in his bed, trying his best to think of something else.

he tried to think about jenna's grin and how blue her eyes were. but all he could see were her snares and fake smiles. and the way she would roll her eyes whenever he talked about muggle music and technology.

he wanted to focus his mind on someone he trusted, someone he loved. but he couldn't think of anyone.

and then, he thought of josh.

he thought about how josh's eyes would squint when he smiled, and how his hair would always turn slightly pink whenever he saw him.

tyler smiled to himself. his skin wasn't itching anymore and he felt his body relax. his stomach rumbled again and he decided it was best for him to go have dinner at the great hall.

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yes i am going to finish this fic!

idk it's just lack of inspiration and i have to work on my drawings as well.

don't worry tho, i'll post the next chapter as soon as i can. xo.