ELLIE

"Is he cute? Is he cute?" Komal shrieks through the phone, and beside me, Alexis snorts.

"I mean he kinda is?"

"He's not, he's ugly," Lex mutters under her breath.

"Is that your roommate Alexis?" Komal asks, her voice taking on a conspiratory tone.

"Yup, hey!" I think Alexis and Komal would be amazing friends, considering their propensity to be batshit crazy.

"Always loved her. Anyway, why is she saying he isn't cute? Isn't he? Why do I not have a picture yet, is this how you decide to treat me?"

I hope she can hear me rolling my eyes, "How will I find a picture?"

"Instagram, dum dum."

"Yeah that's private I haven't followed him yet."

"Does he follow you?" Lex asks.

"Yeah does he?" Komal chimes in.

Are they ganging up on me? Is this what this is? I don't understand why they have to be nose deep in my relationship, which they aren't even letting blossom yet, with the amount of shit-talking they're doing.

I put Komal on speaker so she can bitch with Lex better, "He doesn't, he didn't request me."

"Oh what a load of shit—"

"NO WAY!—"

"EW dump him—"

"He's ugly anyway—"

"Okay stop!" I practically scream inside the car, "Stop you possibly can't know how a person is by his Instagram activity."

"Love, a guy who likes to boast as much he does," Lex says, looking at me annoyingly, "Won't be inactive on his Instagram."

Alexis and I are on our way to this club called 'The Pentacles' which is funny because it's giving me more of a reason to not go in there.

I've watched enough paranormal videos and Ryan Bergara getting scared compilations to know that I should never willingly go inside a pentacle, should a demon decide to eat me alive.

"Ellie," Komal says hesitantly, "when I asked you to jump on the bones of brunette guy, I didn't mean the first brunette you see."

"I know what I am doing—"

"You realize that with a soulmate you actually have to be happy right?"

"I don't even know Parker well enough."

"Good time to run," Lex remarks as she pulls up in front of the club.

"Okay, Komal I'll let you know how the date goes!"

"It's not—"

I hang up in the middle of her saying something. I am not sure I can handle another 'he's such a dick' conversation when I haven't even spent more than an hour with Parker. It's okay, he's not as bad as they make him out to be; at least I am not thinking that until I give him a chance.

"I'd be as skinny as Kendall Jenner if I had to drag your ass to every party," Alexis says, locking the doors of the car outside the club.

"I just don't like going to parties every day, I have a strict two parties a month policy," I grunt.

"I see Parker Duncan has ruined you already."

"Why do you hate him so much?" I ask, exasperated.

"I don't hate him, I just think he's a pick me."

I raise my eyebrows at her, "Seriously?"

Ever since I told her I agreed to go out with Parker, she has been fake puking every time she looks at me. I am pretty sure it's Logan brainwashing her because I have seen the two conspire between them as Parker and I talked at the cafeteria that day. I get that she doesn't like him and thinks that I can do better, but it's starting to get a little annoying.

"Ellie he always flexes about how rich he is, I don't think even Jeff Bezos flexes that much."

I hear a loud giggle and I turn around to look at three girls squashed together in a booth, in hoodies and jeans with their hair tied up in a messy bun. One of them looks me up and down and grimaces, as the other two laugh. I quickly look away, glad for Lex almost digging her nails in my palm as she keeps on blabbering about how terrible Parker is.

Is it my outfit? I am wearing a plain white blue dress with the neckline scrunched in a sweetheart and I have platform heels in a light shade of blue so it shouldn't be that. Hopefully. Still, I pull down my dress, suddenly conscious of my thighs. Can they see the stretch marks, is that why they were making fun of me? I mean they did look like those skinny white girls on TikTok with fake tan and extensions, and I do have a Tonka truck ass, on most days I am horrified of.

Besides, I don't think my makeup is that catchy, honestly, it's just blue winged liner and my normal amount of blush, which in retrospect might be a bit too much but I've never seen people snicker at it. They stare, sure, but never like this. Am I doing something wrong with the hair? I kept it down and brushed out my light bangs, letting a thin blue hairband make it look like I actually tried.

"Okay, that's a bit of an issue there, what next?"

"The guy has no ambition," she says condescendingly, "He thinks he can travel the whole wide world and beyond without earning for it, he's definitely not the one."

"Fine okay now, stop."

Anyway, I am not going to let some girls in buns and black hoodies tell me I look ugly, I promised myself I wouldn't. I am actually putting effort into how I dress and it'd be just letting them win all over again and I already know how that ended for me and I am still struggling with the consequences.

She shrugs her shoulder and gives me a slow smile, "I just want you to lay out all your cards while you make this decision," She looks over my shoulder, "Parker's here, hey."

"Hey Alexis," he gives her a tight-lipped smile and I notice his button-down shirt which is buttoned up all the way to the top, and his khaki chinos, a glinting diamond bracelet on his wrist.

"Hey!" I say cheerily.

"Hi, do you wanna go sit somewhere?"

The club looks bright and summery from inside and at least it's better than that place Lex drags me to all the time. Cherries has so many potted plants, I am pretty sure all the carbon dioxide is sucked out of me violently. 

I spot Alexis talking to Sasha and Fatima and if I am doing my mental calculations correctly I think they're her zoology classmates. Sasha looks she could stomp over hearts in her leather skirt and Fatima's beige hijab matches with her pants; someone is channeling the Pinterest aesthetic quite well here.

"How have you been?" I ask, striking a conversation with Parker.

"Been better."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Okay so" He leans forward in his seat, "My Dad okay? He's a total dick."

"What? Why?"

"So he told me that—well he actually threatened me that if I don't clean my room, he's going to throw out my latest AIR ONES, and guess what?"

"What?"

"I went out for a while and told him I'd do it, but he did actually pretend to throw them out."

"Pretend?" I ask, curious.

"Yeah, he just hid it in his closet to scare me."

"Oh, wow that would give me a scare." Probably not because I have grown up with these threats.

"Yeah, I fucking know right?" he leans back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other and almost knocking the table off in the process.

"How long were you out for?"

I spot Lex behind Parker on a stool with Hunter and she does the gagging motion with her hands, Hunter laughing.

"Oh not long, just for a night," he shrugs it off nonchalantly.

"Oh like for two or three hours?"

"Nah the whole night."

I look down at the table so he can't see my face, as I am absolutely not horrified at his Dad's justified behaviour. Lucky for me, he dishes out his phone and starts scrolling. That's one way to do table manners I guess.

Parker's face dips down on his chest and I notice his brown mop of hair, gelled to look messy; his nose is dusted with freckles, with cute, fluffy cheeks. An image of a razor-sharp jaw pops in my head and I shake it off. That was a close call.

Or not.

I look up to see Logan in a yellow sweatshirt and black ripped jeans, talking to Hunter, Lex, and Fatima, leaning on the counter of the bar with one arm. He hasn't spotted me yet so I can gloriously witness his presence without being branded as a creep, something I have to avoid being called whenever I am in his proximity. He's laughing at something Fatima is saying, with his head thrown back and dimples in action. I look at Fatima's beige hijab-covered head and I feel a twist in my chest; which is absolute bullshit because she didn't even do anything and all the times she has come over to our dorm, she's been so sweet and so chirpy.

But he's laughing with her. Not even smiling or nodding intently, he's laughing with his dimples on display. A pang squeezes my chest.

He's just talking to her, what does it matter if she can make him laugh like that and, I yelled at him in a cold-blooded rage. I have a cute boy sitting in front of me with tousled brown hair and soft brown eyes who has a ninety-five percent chance of being my soulmate apparently. I should focus on him; especially since he's been calling my name.

"Ellie? Earth to Ellie?"

"Yup sorry, zoned out for a bit."

He nods his head before going off on a tangent, "Have you ever had a shimmering lagoon before? It's one of my favorite drinks."

                         ★-★

I wanted Ellie to portray a part of me that has always been so scared to dress like I want to because of all the snides and glances and bitchy conversations but here's a sign to wear whatever the fuck you want!