Veteran: capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "I helped my uncle jack off a horse"

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Player: I love you

Veteran: me too

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MrEgg: can you please pass me the salt?

MrCheese: can you please pass away?

MrEgg: too much salt

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TheGentleman: why would you think any of this was a good idea?

MrCheese: probable because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence

TheGentleman:

MrCheese: I don't know how you keep forgetting this

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Gnome: I don't follow the rules, I follow dogs on social media

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Veteran, to Player: *cocks gun* go to bed. This is not a request, it's a threat

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Dum: what's something you guys are better than Player at?

Veteran: Among Us

Captain: yeah, video games

MrCheese: emotional vulnerability 

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I got this one from @Circusbabyxzane

TheGentleman: MrCheese, are you homework?

MrCheese: no, why?

TheGentleman: cuz I would slam you on the table and do you all night~

MrCheese: *blushes madly* f-f*ck you...

TheGentleman: *Laughs*

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Mother: you really put everything aside and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Angel: several traffic violations

Potato: three courts of resisting arrest

Dum: roughly thirteen cans of energy drink 

Gnome: also, that's not our car

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Ninja: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic sh*t and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face

Bro:

Bro: I like you

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Captain: do you need help getting up? 

Stoner: nah I'm cool here on the floor

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MrCheese: hey Eggy, what flower do you prefer?

MrEgg: I like sunflowers 

MrCheese, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: well sh*t-

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Not Orange: there's nothing to do

Monster: you can wash the dishes I told you to wash a few days ago

Not Orange, pulling out his phone: never mind

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Stoner: if you water water, it grows

Brom what?

Veteran: he's got a point 

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Ok that's it for now I'm hella tired