Veteran: ok, we got a day free now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xmas plant: are you busy?

YTCat123: yes

Xmas plant: cool, listen to this

Yes he always talks to me even if I'm busy lmao, but I still love my lil bro UwU

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Player: that's ridiculous, Captain doesn't have a crush on me

Veteran: yes he does

Dum: yes he does

Captain: yes I do

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TheGentleman: when do you usually go to sleep?

Veteran: whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gnome: so are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

TheGentleman: we're chopsticks!

Gnome: aww that's adorable! Does that mean you two perfectly snuggle together

MrCheese: no, it means that when you take one away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dum: when I see two initials carved into w tree with a heart I think it's so romantic! Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baggy: why is everyone always fighting over top or bottom? I'd be happy just to have a bunk bed!

Bro: ... I'm gonna tell him

Blondie: DON'T. YOU. DARE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veteran, holding in his laughter: hey, hoe do you ask a glass of water what it's doing?

Engineer: a glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding human language

Veteran:

Veteran: water you doing? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The crew's thoughts on stabbing*

Baggy: would never stab anyone

Angel: would stab in retaliation

Bro: would yell "I won't hesitate, b*tch!" first

TheGentleman: would stab without a warning

MrCheese: would stab as a warning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Player: ok, what happened?

Veteran: do you want a short version or a long version?

Player: short?

Veteran: sh*t's f*cked

Player: ok, long

Veteran: sh*t's very f*cked

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stoner: dom or sub?

Captain, innocent af: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd you put them in the same category though

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain: do you know a turtle's only weakness?

Player: no... well, their slowness

Captain: their weakness is they can't roll over when they're on their backs

Captain: now, I have a plan

Captain: if we duct tape two turtles together they'll be unstoppable

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Player: I can't give Captain anything without getting jealous. He looks at life like "Ah, sweet!" While I look at life like "Welp, time to go to sleep again"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Noob: if I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee

Player: if I was married to you I would drink it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Player: you bought tacos?

Veteran: yes

Player: from the same truc that hit MrCheese?

Veteran, with a mouthful of tacos: well me starving ain't gonna help him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cop: you're arrested for driving with three people on a motorcycle

Gnome: three?

Cop: yes, three

Angel

Mother: OH NO, DUM FELL OFF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bro: next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the scorpion cage. I wanna see what a hamster's face looks like when it goes "Oh f*ck"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MrEgg: I made this friendship bracelet for you!

MrCheese: you know, I'm not really a jewelry person

MrEgg: you don't have to wear-

MrCheese: I'm gonna wear it. Forever. Back off

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veteran: oh my god! What is this?

Engineer: it's a book. There are a lot of those in here, we're in a library 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok that's enough XD I'm lazy