Hi.

O O O 

I breathe out as soon as Lance's face is gone from the big screen in front of me. Without hesitation I turn around and walk out into the halls.

"Keith", Kolivan warns and I hate that I need to stop. "I hope you are making your way out for the required mission."

I turn around and my new suit is sticking onto me as an reminder of a mistake I made. This is nothing like my paladin armor. Not even close. 

"Let them have the gem. We don't need to find it before them. They may have a bigger use of it."

"Keith", he says again, but this time his voice holds a bigger meaning to it, more harshness. "What did I tell you about not letting your feelings get involved. That's a term you agreed on when you decided to join the Blade of Marmora. We fulfill the most crucial things, and we don't care about the sacrifices that may be made." He holds his arms behind his back, and for a moment, I see Iverson in front of me, his composure before I damaged his eye. "This is not team Voltron."

I feel my chest tighten but somehow I can still breathe. It's hard, but I can still manage it. 

"I'm aware of that."

I turn around again but this time Kolivan doesn't stop me. He must know I'm listening to him, and that I'm going to find that damn gem I don't even know what it's for. Not entirely, at least. All I know is that it must be important. 

I go out to the purple lit corridor and it's dark and the walls is seemingly falling down onto me. Slowly. I have my breath stuck in my lungs somewhere; the air just doesn't want to get out.

"Nothing will ever be the same, Keith. This is reality. But I told you, you humans can't even understand it", Marcles voice says in my head. It echoes in the little space and hits the walls of my mind and pushes away any other thought I stored inside.

"We had a deal", I say in my head. "I fulfilled my part of the deal, and now it's time for you to do the same."

O O O 

"Can you keep a track of the path?" Vrek asks via our communicating system. I take a big batch before flying down into the middle of two big stones. Ahead of me, a start of a cave begins, and my eyes can rest from all the glitter as I look into the cave. 

"I'm on the right path now", I answer in a low voice; my words still reach out to in front of me and echoes through the tunnel before the only sounds is from water drops, or, whatever that grey substance dripping from above the cave is. 

"Leave no traces behind you", Vrek reminds and I can hear him grunt, and there is a thud in the distance. "Take the gem and depart immediately."

"Got it." I make a run for the cave and the gravel under me crunches under my feet. I make my way deeper and I the only light recourse this far into the cave is from my suit; the dark purple color lights up one meter of my path, but beyond that, it's pitch-black. There is an echo of risks as I walk into a blackness of no knowledge at all. I don't know where I'm heading, and I don't know where to look specifically. All I know is that I can't understand what is north, south, east and west. There is no directions left.

I hold my breath, and I don't say anything to the Blades. Something just tells me to be quiet. Hearing crunchy sounds behind me, I twirl around, only to see a blue light source, not far away from me. I struggle to see what it is - maybe I finally found the gem - but then I see the light move, and suddenly it has a face, and arms, and a full body, walking towards me. The helmet is off, and his face is all shown. This air is breathable. But I still don't breathe; I'm still holding it in.

It's just a matter of second before this man is right in front of me, breathing heavily, and then I can see a fist flying towards my face. The punch is hard enough for me to drop my balance and make me boggle. I have time to only stand up properly before there is another punch, just at my cheek, and in the progress I can hear something in my mask crunch. It falters before it completely disappears from my face and I know that the communicating system is broken between me and the other Blades. I'm stuck here to fight alone. But the Blades wouldn't care. Knowledge or death, as they always say. But since I never go the time to find the gem or even to tell them where to find it, I guess death is the thing for me now.

"You piece of shit", I hear this person sputter, and I get another punch to the side. I puff out, but take my blade out from my holster to meet a gun. The clang of the two weapons meeting is loud enough to wake life into the cave. 

"Retreat, Lance", I warn with another swing at him. He dodges it and tries to shoot my leg with his blaster but we both know I would jump away from his shot easily. We both also know that we don't intend to hurt each other in this meaningless fight. 
He shoots again and I let it hit my blade so it bounces off to somewhere else. It hits the cave wall instead and small pieces of stones fall to the ground.

I launch forward and kick his leg so he loses balance and falls down onto his bum with a loud curse in Spanish. The foreign language sparkle memories into me and it's strong enough to make me hesitate, which gives Lance the opportunity to jump back up and give me another punch in the face. It makes me stumble backwards and my back hits the wall behind me. The roughness of it sends stingy feelings all up my rear. My face is pounding and throbbing and I can feel a hot thick substance run down from my temple. 

Lance is in front of me and he's pushing me harder against the wall and I growl, but at the same time I pule at the pain - physically and emotionally. Lance's face is near enough for me to see something glimmer just under his eyes. The blue light on his armor lights up the tears he shed. There is as much pain on his face as I'm feeling as he slams me against the wall again, and I don't even fight back. I could, but I just don't.

"I'm sorry, but I hate you. But I'm sorry. I hurt you. But you hurt me too." His words are weak sobs that cracks in the middle until they just fade away into nothing. "I can't do this. I can't deal with this. What have you done, Keith..."

I try to say something but I taste just blood and I start to get dizzy because of the blood-loss. Lance notices this and he whimpers. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Keith. I'm so sorry..."

Through the haze I feel a pressure on my lips but I don't know if it's just my cells playing a trick on me or something. But then I sense the tongue, and the taste beyond the iron of my blood, and after comes the hand that cups my face and firmly strokes away sweat from under my eyes. I hope it's sweat, and not tears. I don't cry this easily.

My stomach makes a drastic flip and it turns everything in my body around and suddenly everything just spins. Everything is going backwards but it's still running forward too fast until I'm living in a future that just doesn't suit me, that just isn't mine.

Lance presses multiple I'm sorry's against my lips and into my mouth and everytime sounds as painful. He takes off my hood and his hands runs through my hair and it feels too familiar. He pushes my bangs back and presses small kisses on my forehead and my lips is aching for more. I'm standing completely still but all my feelings are moving all at once until they all stumble on each other.

"Keith." A kiss on my lips. "I can't handle this. I hate you so much right now, but you need to come back." Another kiss, harder than the other. "Please come back."

My skin switch to over sensitivity and all my wounds hurts more than they already did, but then there is Lance's fingers on my face and his lips on mine and it just all presses away everything else. He runs his thumb at my bleeding temple and I quake. My legs start to tremble violently and Lance presses his body against mine, pushing me up against the wall so that I won't fall. I trust him to keep me upright.

The gem is forgotten, the mission is pointless, and the only thing that matters is Lance's hand on my face and in my hair and his nose that his brushing against mine as he kisses me passionately, hardly. I once again tastes him everywhere. There is too much of him all at once; his smell, his taste, and his whole being.

It gets to much. I want to get out. I want to breathe because it feels like I held my breath this whole time. I move, and Lance gasps into my mouth as he feels that tip of my blade against the soft part of his armor, just under his left shoulder. I press it hard enough for him to step back and my lips feel hollow without his on them.
The tears under his eyes are still fresh.

"You don't understand. Nobody does. It was better for me to not tell you anything because I would rather let you be angry with me instead of trying to stop me." Lance tries to cup my face but with a trembling hand I press the blade harder against his arm. He stops in his action and his underlip quivers. "You can't stop me. I already left. You can't stop all of this. You can't help me. There is nothing you can do."

"God dammit, Keith! You don't know that! You don't know shit about whether we can help you or not!" Lance slams his fist on the cave wall behind me and small pieces of rocks falls all around us. "You shithead, you left without saying anything at all. We could have helped you, for God's sake!" He slams the wall again and bigger pieces of stones fall down, but  never hitting us.

I seek the smell of him one more time, before making up my mind and turning us around, so Lance's chest is pressed against the wall and I have is wrists in a hard grip behind his back, and the tip of my blade softly pressed against his bare neck. I move my knife a little, and it cuts a little piece of Lance's hair. I can hear him gulp.

"It's too late to help me now." One last glance at him, and then I back away, turn around, and run out the cave. I failed my mission, but I also failed myself.

"Leave him", Marcles whispers inside my head. "And let him suffer from your absence."

O O O

OMG sorry guys, it has been too long since I posted another chapter. Just know that these recent chapters are all a bit dramatic and sad, but you'll just have to wait for the fun, I guess🤷🏻