It's awfully quiet. Too quiet. It leaves me over thinking and pondering over my whole life as I stare down at the food goo, absently stiring my spoon in the green mush, cringing at the sound it's making. I hear the sound of spoons hitting the metal bowl as everybody seems to be in their own kind of world, doing the same action as me.

Nobody has said a word in almost eight minutes now, nobody even daring to excuse themself from the table. Every five seconds someone will worriedly throw a quick glance at Shiro sitting at the very far end of the table, carefully eating his food. He's not even looking angry anymore, more like overly exhausted and just disappointed.

I look over at Allura and Coran, keeping their mouth closed. It surprises me they're not questioning the whole moment, but it must be evident in thin air. The tension. They must feel it and do good in not talking.

What surprises me even more is Lance, sitting far away from me. He's too quiet. It's not normal at all but I appreciate it alot. If us arguing leads us to this kind of silence, I would do it all the time. And if it means Shiro would scream his heart out at us, I would gladly let him.

Just let me have this silence.

Someone clears their throat and everything I just cherished shatters in less than two seconds.

"Keith, if you keep glaring at your food, it would most likely turn to food goo-poo because you're shit", Lance says from across the table and points at me with his spoon, splashing a little amount of mush on the table, making Pidge grimace beside him.

Hunk chokes on his water.

I look down again and mentally kick Lance out in open space and grin as he floats away screaming as his scream gets quieter and quieter as he gets further away.

"Lance, one more attempt to start an argument and I will food goo-poo you", Shiro warns and we're back at being silent again.

I try to eat again but Lance words ruin my appetite completely. So I push my bowl away and tap at my cup of water, deciding if I should drink it or not. I stare at my gloved hand and can't concentrate at all.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I can feel the uncomfortable feeling of someone looking at me, but I'm too deep in thoughts to do something about it. A big part of me knows who it is, but I know if I look up, I will most likely lose it.

Allura suddenly breaks the silence by standing up so suddenly I almost drop my cup as I was just about to take a sip.

She slams her hands on the table and glare at each one of us. Leaning over the table. Coran instantly stands up beside her and doubtfully look down at her. But he doesn't say anything, because he's still loyal to the princess.

"I cannot accept this ridiculous behavior", she starts off and getting new kind of attention from us. Everyone's already sitting up properly, looking at her, waiting for her to finish. "It's like before all over again, and we do not want to go back to the handcuffs again, don't we? This is not how dinner should be for a team. It should be the best way to interact with each other! Spend as much time with each other because you never know when you will have to go out to battle again."

Even if she's still wearing her armor and not her dress and has her white long hair tied up in a big bun, she still looks like a real princess. Acts like one, talk like one. I haven't seen many princesses in my life but I personally think Allura's the ideal one. If not, I don't know who is.

I look away from her and take up my dagger from my pocket, turning it in my hands and letting light reflect on the smooth surface, running my thumb over it, dangerously close to the sharp side. 

It's quiet again and the feeling of someone watching me is worse than ever.

"Keith, put down that knife", Allura commands simply. Coran clears his throat.

I look up at her standing at the end of the table but I don't put the object in my hand down. If anything I hold onto it tighter. I'm tired of people telling me what to do, paying attention to me. I want to do whatever the hell I want and I want everyone to not give a single fudge about my actions. If I decide to throw this knife at someone, nobody should question it. I threw it and that's it, end of discussion.

And that 'someone' would most likely be Lance sitting and taunting me with his gaze. I can see the shadow of a grin in his eyes and I hate it so much I can feel all my nerves start to shake. 

"Yeah, Keith. Didn't your momma tell you "no daggers at the dining table"?" Lance looks over at Hunk at his right side, probably expecting him to give him a high five. Hunk squeals and sink down in his chair.

Lance comment is enough for me to snap. I stand up faster than Allura did and I don't know how I almost managed to make the chair tip back. But I can't care less. My vision is blurred with red, anger. All I see is Lance repugnant, annoying, stupid face looking at me in some kind of shock but that's not enough. I want his face in terror. 

I want him gone.

"One more word coming out of your goddamn mouth and this dagger will fly to your stupid head, you jerk!" It's now I realize I'm actually shaking. Not in the verge of shaking, no, now I'm shaking so uncontrollably I feel like my bones will crumble away. My fists is aching to punch him. I want to punch him.

"Keith, sit down!" Allura shouts and her voice is trembling with a sudden acrimony. 

"You", I breath and point at her with my knife. "Sit down." I look over at Lance again. "Don't you ever talk about my mother and don't you ever talk to me again. Understand?" 

Lance just stares and me like I just grew multiple heads. Hunk looks like he might scream any second and Pidge just look thoughtful as she hesitantly takes off her glasses to clean them with her sleeve. 

Shiro stands up beside me and put a hand on my shoulder, trying to get me to sit down. "Keith, calm down, and don't pay any attention to what he just said..."

I shake is hand of, slamming my cup of water away. It spills but I leave everyone else to clean up my mess as I storm out of the dining hall. 

O O O

It's almost bedtime and I still seethe with rage. I still want to punch something, but I don't want to risk getting out of my room to go to the training deck and fight my rage away, afraid I will bump in to someone on the way. So those past ten minutes I have punched my wall and gotten nothing out of it, excepts for several bruises on my knuckles. 

I sit on my bed and try to massage my hands to have something relaxing to do but I'm still tapping my foot at the floor and my whole body is heating up. I push away my black bangs from my sweaty forehead and feel the fabric of my glove stick uncomfortably to my clammy palm. 

I know my temper is bad but I would usually calm down by now. At least a little. But maybe the fact that Lance brought up my mother to the argument makes me angry beyond words. I wish I had a mother to tell me "no daggers at the dining table", but unfortunately that's not the case. If my mother was with me, would she still give me this dagger? Would it burn in pocket like a constant reminder, like it does everyday?

I take it up with quivering hands and look at it closely again, trying to find my past written on it somehow. Nothing. 

I throw it across the room with a roar and then bury my face in my hands with my elbows resting on my lap.

Someone knocks at the door.

"Get lost", I mutter through gritted teeth and hope that whoever's outside hears me.

"What the hell are you doing in there, pretending to be a lion? Isn't it enough that you fly one?" Lance says from the other side of the door. He's smiling. I can hear it. That piece of shit.

"I will punch you, Lance, and not even your lion can help you." I stand up to take up my dagger from the floor and sit back on my bed. "Get the hell away from my room."

It's quiet on the other side and I start to think that he for once obeyed and went, but then...

"Can you let me in?" The question is asked slowly, too slowly. He sounds unsure and a bit nervous and like he muffled his words with his hand. I look up at my door like I could see through it and pierce him with my eyes. I hope they would kill him, or at least burn him to ash.

"No."

Silence again, and now it would be good if he gave up and got lost. I want to be alone again, and to start off Lance could maybe go away.

"Please. I have something to say. Just let me in before I change my mind."

I put my knife under the mattress and fidget with my hands. "You can say it from outside my room. And I would like you to change your mind and go away."

"Come on, Keith. Don't be like that and just hear me out." Lance knocks again like the door would do as he pleases and open. "It will be quick. And I'm not here to start a fight with you."

"I don't believe you in the slightest", I speak out my thoughts but I still stand up and already regret every movement. But if he starts to insult me one more time I have a very good reason to hit him, and that comes as a benefit from the con.

I open the door and roll my eyes when it seems like Lance leaned against it and is now stumbling forward, hitting his face on my shoulder.

I push him away and he almost drops to his bum. But unfortunately he catches himself and stand upright, not sparing me a good evening by seeing him fall.

He glares at me intensively before walking past me and in to my room, inviting himself. I cross my arms and keep the door open as I stand as far away from him as possible, crossing my arms and raising my eyebrow at him. I clutch at my skin again, just where the last scars are and wait for him to say something - anything - so I can punch him. 

Lance move the tip of his foot like half circles on the floor, scratching his neck and the sound of it makes me impatient. He doesn't say anything for a good amount of time.

"I'm sorry", he mutters and look down at his shoes with a slight change of color on his cheeks. He's flustered, I notice, and I'm in shock. My lips part but I can't say anything. I feel something in my stomach again but this feeling is different. It's hard to identify it and that may be because I don't feel it often. No, not the time to be feeling. I shouldn't. It almost makes be shiver.

I look away from his flustered face to gather my thoughts but I keep dropping them.

"I'm...sorry for insulting you, and I'm sorry for bringing your mother up." We both look at each other before our eyes part away. "That was low. I would be furious if you talked about my mother in an argument." He chuckles uncomfortably and I don't know what happened to the behaviour, this new behaviour he has. "I would probably punch you, or something."

I look at him and wait for him to meet my eyes. "What makes you think I won't do it?"

Lance shuts his mouth and roll in his lips, eyes big. "You won't, right?"

"I don't do apologies. So why won't you get the hell out of my room before I actually punch you." To emphasis my words I point at the open door meant for him to go out from, the corridor waiting for him. I want him to get out of here fast so I can do something about my emotions tricking me into something. 

No one ever apologises, and I don't know how to react when someone does it. So the best I can do is to get Lance away from me so I stop getting so confused.

"I don't believe you will do it", Lance says and cross his arms with the flustered look gone and his smirk back. 

I raise my hand and he bolts out of the room faster than The Flash.

O O O

I'm matching Keith's and Lance characters, right? I hope I do ಥ_ಥ