Ehhhh, okay so I literally found the best picture for this chapter AFTER I wrote this like wuutt... ^^^

And I'm kinda obsessed with The Flash right now so it's quite hard to get back to the Voltron writing.

So please, dearest reader, excuse me if this is... well, trash.

(つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ Lance's POV

O O O

I think I just broke him.

Or, if this shaking body in my arms can be described as something else, I don't know.

My eyes are wide, I'm looking past his quivering shoulders and up to his... no... my lion.

Red. Who would have thought that would be my color now? I never really thought that I would pull off red - it's not just me that thought blue really is my color - but know I'll just have to get used to it. To this new change.

I suck in a sharp breath when Keith moves; he's gripping my jacket but this is nothing like a minute ago. Our lips are not pressed together, there isn't really a heated sensation floating in the air and honestly this is just utterly depressing.

I think it's now we're both realizing what's happening. It's in this moment that everything just comes knocking on our minds, and I know we're just overwhelmed.
And not just overwhelmed by what's happened these past hours, but literally everything. From going to space in the first place, and being awfully young for going into war, and flying in robot lions while shooting down aliens after aliens that are trying to destroy the whole universe.

Maybe it's not just Keith that has broken down now. Maybe he is the one to just realize it now. Maybe the rest of us already knew what has happened to us, and all the crazy things going on in this short amount of time. I think that Keith was on autopilot this whole time. It was just to adapt to reality without even realizing it, going around and doing all these crazy things without even being aware of it.

I remember what papá once said. I wonder why I haven't brought it up in my mind more, why I haven't thought of it more often.
He said:

You have to adapt to reality, because reality has it hard to adapt to you.

O O O

This, is exactly what we needed. I can feel it. It's just right.

Just laying on my bed, his head resting on my heaving and sinking chest, me facing the ceiling and playing with his hair, the silence around us and the fact that there is no embarrassment between us. At least in this very moment. There is no rejection, or no's and leaving and denying we need this.

"I wish I had a window in my room", he whispers and his words disappears in the stillness. The only action in this room is our chest moving when we breath. "It really helps to count the stars. It does calm me down."

I glance down at the top of his head and I just smile for a second, like I finally captured this mesmerizing bird in my hands that I have tried to catch for so long, but it just kept flying away. But it didn't fly far; it was like something was always pulling it down to the ground again.

"You can come here whenever you want. You know that, right?" I let his black hair tickle my palm. Keith breathes out and I can feel his warm breath against my arm. Red lion or not, he still has that heat inside him.

"Now I know."

"Good." I massage his scalp and I can see him close his eyes for a second before opening them again and pressing his cheek harder against my chest.

"This is just messed up. All of it", he chokes out and his voice is strained but he's still not crying. I can't understand why; we've come this far with the comforting thing but he won't even let out his emotions fully. Then what's the point in this? For him at least? It's now he should just let go of everything he's kept in check and try to collect his sanity later. Now he has someone to hug him through his breakdown. And he will still have that someone after his breakdown.

Just like I used to have back in Earth. Having a family with eleven members has its perks. Whenever I was sad, it would always go from tears and anxiety to a big cuddly bundle on my bed. I can admit I'm quite a lucky person. Love was never a problem for me.

As to Keith... He must really be lacking of it, despite how much I want to not belive it.

"It's now I realize..." I say and my words barely comes out as a whisper. "How exaggerative I have been..." I sigh, trying to calm me down by playing with his hair some more but I'm scared to hurt him so I just leave my hand flat on his head.

"What do you mean?" Ugh. It doesn't help in the slightest that he sounds this helpless...

"I mean..." I take a long breath and look out the window even as I feel his eyes on my face, his head no longer on my chest. "I..." Sigh. "I just... Have been thinking so childishly and selfishly and I haven't really thought about how many others have it so much harder than me. It's only now I realize what a good life I have... I'm chosen to save the universe for God's sake, and still I walk around thinking I'm not good enough and pity myself."

"You shouldn't be comparing your life with others", Keith says and I look over at him, immediately drowning in the black ink of his eyes. There is not much purple in them now, though.

"I thought so as well, but maybe that's where we're both wrong? Maybe I really should try to picture how others have it so I can remind myself how good I have it."

"Maybe", he simply says but looking into his eyes I know he has so much more to tell but just doesn't do it.

"I know nothing about you though", I hastily say so I don't regret it and Keith doesn't seem to appreciate what I just said but he's good at quickly hiding it. He rest his head on my chest again and I see him gritting his teeth, counting more stars, trying to calm down.

"It's okay to feel sorry for yourself sometimes", he mumbles as a change of subject.

"But not as much as I do..."

Silence again. But this silence isn't comforting. It leaves too much space for me to overthink.

"Keith?"

"Yes?"

"How... How was your life... back on Earth?"

No answer. He's so quiet for so long I'm begging to think he's asleep. But not hearing him breath must mean he's very much awake and holding in his breath like that could stop everything around him.

"Keith..."

"There is nothing to know about how my life was back on Earth", he snaps and I watch him sit up slowly and press his back on the wall behind him, bringing his legs up to his chest and sitting across from me, never stopping to look out of the window.

"But I want to know..." I slowly say, as if he would attack me if I talked too fast. The only thing he does is to exhale hardly. "I guess that many don't ask you to tell them, and that's probably why you're not familiar with sharing your story, but... I want to listen." I try to reach for him but he just look to the side and press himself harder against the wall. I sit up. "Let me listen..."

"Don't think you're special", Keith warns and rest his chin on his arms that is hugging his legs. He looks over at the wall. "Don't think there will be a pity party here and stories to share and pasts to reveal because it won't ever happen."

Suddenly it's much colder in the room than before. My fingers feels rigid, like they might fall off anytime. My chest feels light but at the same time very heavy. The hair on my neck and arms are all standing up, my lips feel dry and frozen.

"I promise you, Keith, that if you talk to someone, it will feel so much better", I try again and bring the blanket higher up on my legs.

"That's what everyone says", he mumbles.

"Because it's true..." Depending on the light in my room, it must be late. I don't know what everyone else is doing but all I can think about is what will happen tomorrow? Will Keith be sitting with us at the dining table? Will almost everything be the same? Or won't Keith even be in the castle?

"I have a very hard time believing what's true nowadays." He fiddle with the blanket at his feet and I notice how his fingers are shaking. "Trust issue, you know?"

"You should know well enough that I would never betray you in any way", I hurry to say, scooting a little closer to him only to see him shake his head and look away again.

"Everyone has a side of themself that they have yet to discover. You never know which side of you could show if I open myself up to you." Keith shake his head and bite his lip.

I kissed those lips.

"You can think so about everyone, but that will only make you hide all the time, trusting nobody", I say and my voice is louder now. Not so loud in actuality but it still feels like my voice is shaking the whole universe.

"Maybe that's exactly what I'll be doing", he says and stands up and I frantically look up at him as he stretch our his legs beside my bed.

"What... Where are you going...?"

"To my room", he don't hesitate to say. He gives me a side glance before he turns to the door. "Tomorrow is a new day, right?"

I stand up as well, clutching my fists at my sides, feeling naked without the blanked and the warmth of my bed.

But right now I'm vulnerable, depressed, and irritated. Those three feelings combined is not a good thing at all.
That's why I regret the next thing that I do.

O O O

I'm tired, I'm stressed about school and life and I just want to eat but sleep at the same time so please excuse this chapter.