Levi's POV

I have never been to this before, nor does this place look familiar to me. Hanji had chosen this place by herself. I wish I was by her side when we made those plans, but because of that accident, I couldn't. In shame, I look to the guard, asking him a question that I should never have to answer. "Where is Jayden Ackerman located?"

*   *   *

Hanji chose an area where it looked over to the nearby sea. The city we lived in before had mountains and oceans. So this specific graveyard overlooked the sea on the mountain. It was a bit far and a hike to get to, but overall, our son would have the best view.

When I saw his tombstone, I nearly fell into tears. I should never see his grave... not like this. Not before he had a chance to breathe fresh air or a chance to live. None of us could hold him as he cried with life in his lungs. I craved the chance to hold him... I could never hold him.

"Hey, Jayden..." I struggled to smile at him as I sat in front of his grave. "You would be 3 by now... I'm sorry I couldn't come and visit you. Did Mommy and Raven come by?"

I knew I would get answers, but the fact I could talk to him and get it out was good enough for me.

"Daddy forgot everything. I'm sorry. I should have been there for you and Mommy. I lost 3 years... but most of all, my memories of you. If I remembered, things would have been different. But most importantly... if you survived, everything would have been different. Mommy was hurt, and I couldn't do anything. If I could go back in time, the one thing I would do differently would be to never go on that trip. I would stay there by your side. I would stay by Mommy to ensure that if anything happened, I would be there. But I can't change it now."

I closed my eyes and lay next to his grave, wishing he was there.

"If I could change anything... that's the one thing I would change."

*   *   *

"Maybe if you were careful, I wouldn't end up pregnant again," Hanji smirked as she lays on the bed, exhausted. "But at least we're in a better place than we were when Raven was born. I'm feeling something different."

"Different? Hanji, you're what? Aren't you a few weeks pregnant? How could things be already different?"

She bit on her fingernail, staring at me lustfully, "Call it a mother's tuition, Levi. I know something's different. I'm thinking... it's a boy. But we can both agree that Raven is going to be a big sister. There are so many things to do."

"We can't go on a shopping spree, Hanji. Not yet."

"But I can plan to go on a shopping spree soon, can't I?"

Sometimes, I can't stop this woman. But the feeling of having another kid is overwhelming. I've always been an only child, and so was Hanji. I'm not sure if I can handle two kids at once. "You know you have to stop drinking wine."

"I know... but it's worth it. Another child to join our little clan, right, Levi?"

"Sure, whatever."

She kissed my forehead, "Celebrate for a bit? Raven's still asleep."

"Really?"

"Why not?" She smirked a bit, laughing at me. "Come on... it's okay."

I remember that night... we celebrated the entire night as Hanji continued to search for baby things. She was right about the baby being a boy. But we were both wrong about him surviving a day in the real world.

*   *   *

I woke up by a graveyard guard, and I went straight home. I'm not going to leave Hanji and Raven. If I can, I want to live a life with them. I want to give Raven a life that I didn't have. I want to be with her... to be a part of her life. And Hanji... she's hurt more than I was. I was able to live care-free for the time being. She had to live through it all. She's the bravest woman I have ever known... and I hate seeing her when she's down.

"Hanji," I say to the empty room. "I made my choice. I want to stay here with you."

I see her on the ground with a glass of wine next to her. The bottle was empty. 

"Hanji..."

She looked at me with sad eyes, "Here to humiliate me again? I don't want to see you. Never. You left. You will always leave me."

"I went to see Jayden..."

"How...?"

"I found a few pictures and pamphlets. I figured out everything from there." I sit next to her, kissing her forehead. "I don't remember much, but I remember when you told me about your pregnancy with him. I remember that time very much... and I decided I will stay here. Just because he's no longer here with us, he's still with us. It'll be terrifying, but we can live together. I'm not going to leave you or Raven ever again."

And I promise to do everything I can to redeem myself from my mistakes of the past. I will be a better father and a better husband for them.