Title from Lullabies by All Time Low

(Alex's POV)

It's been about two days since I woke up, and I'm home again. I take about thirty minutes to get my parents to stop smothering me, then I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I turn my head and see a framed photo of Jack and me at some park.

Why is he so important to me?

I sit up and grab the picture frame. I have my arm over Jack's shoulders. And we're both smiling.

Maybe best friends? But I would remember that, right?

I sigh and put the picture down.

I was in the hospital for two days before I woke up. And then stayed another two days. I was in that goddamn hospital for four days.

"Alex?" My mom knocks on the door. "Jack's here," she says and opens the door to reveal Jack. He waves awkwardly at me. Mom leaves Jack and me alone.

"Come in?" I stand up.

"It's okay, sit down," he says, sounding worried about me.

"Damn, it's not like I have a broken leg. I'm fine," I roll my eyes.

He laughs. "You still act the same," he says under his breath. "How are you?"

"I've been better. It just sucks that I can't remember anything after the first day of freshman year. I remember walking into the high school. I remember walking to all my classes. I remember coming home. And then it just- it ends."

His smile falters for a split second. "So you have no clue who I am?" He asks softly.

"I know your name is Jack. And I have this picture of us together," I grab the picture and hold it up from him to see. He shakily reaches out to grab it.

"That was right before Sophomore year started. We were at Cherry Springs Park," he smiles sadly.

"Oh, so we're friends?" I ask. Maybe I'll finally get some answers.

He smiles, but it just- it feels fake. "Yeah. Friends," he answers hesitantly.

"Oh wait! Where's Lisa?" I ask him. "Oh wait, do you know Lisa? We-"

"Met over the summer before Freshman year," he finishes. "Yeah, she's fine. But you two haven't talked much since Freshman year," he adds the last part- almost bitterly.

"Well seeing that I don't remember Freshman year, I might as well go find her?" I look at him.

He shrugs and leans against the wall. "You two had a pretty bad falling out though," he says.

"What? Why?"

"She-" he stops himself. "Just petty arguments gone wrong."

"Well, I'm sure we were meant to become friends again? I mean, I remember being pretty good friends."

"Sure." Jack shrugs and crosses his arms.

"Are we really friends?" I ask softer.

"Really good friends," he says softly, almost like it hurts to say. "Maybe more."

"So like... Best friends?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah, something like that," he nods and steps forward. "When you hit your head- I thought- I was so scared Lex," he admits, and it sounds like he's been suppressing that for a while. I shrug off the nickname. 

"I'm sorry," I answer, not completely sure how I'm supposed to answer. "If you want to talk about it-"

"Yeah, I know," he gives me a slight smile and holds his hand out. I take it and we shake hands. Something odd happens. It's almost like I've held his hand a million times before. The feeling is memorable- but why?

He looks over and spots the guitar that I got on my 14th birthday.

"I suppose you don't remember any of the songs you wrote?" He asks.

"I wrote songs?" I ask, shocked. My writing has always sucked. Or of what I remember.

"You wrote beautifully," he says as a whisper.

"About what?"

"Mainly about love. And-" he pauses. "Yeah. Mainly about love."

"Can you sing me one? I might remember it," I ask. He hesitates before grabbing the guitar.

"You wrote one called Somewhere In Neverland, which is one that I really liked," he says and starts the song.

After he finishes, my jaw drops.

"No way. I did not write that. You wrote it," I decide.

"I swear to you, you wrote it," he shrugs.

"Oh well... Then... It wasn't that good..."

"Are you kidding me? It's better than half the artists these days!" He throws his arms up.

"No. I don't believe you," I pout.

He awe's and puts his hand on my knee. I glance at him, shocked and he immediately pulls away.

"Uh- Trust me. You're amazing," his cheeks go pink and he looks at his feet.

"I should go- I have to meet someone-" he stutters and gets up, bumping into the side on the bed. "Sorry," he mutters before rushing out of the room.

I bite my lip and wave even though he's already gone.

I look at my phone and see dozens of texts from two people named Rian and Zack.

Rian: ALEX

Rian: JACK TOLD US YOU'RE AWAKE

Rian: BUT LOST UR MEMORY??????

Zack: He wut

Rian: JACK SAID HE LOST HIS MEMORY AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER THINGS FROM THE FIRST DAY OF FRESHMAN YEAR AND EARLIER.

Zack: Wait- Wouldn't that mean he doesn't remember you?

Zack: he'd remember me because we were friends before that :P

Rian: Shut it, Merrick.

Rian: He could never forget me

Rian: I'm unforgettable

Zack: But he forgot about Jack.

Rian: o

Rian: SHIT

Zack: now what

Rian: we hunt him down

I decide to respond now.

Alex: What

Zack: Do you remember me?

Alex: Yeah

Rian: what about meeeee?

Alex: uhhh

Rian: NOOOOOOO

Zack: Hey, it's okay Alex. It'll get better

Rian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Zack: SHUT TF UP

Rian: I've been forgotten.

Zack: Rian... pc. NOW

And with that, both of them stop talking. It's only then when I realize that I have Lisa's number. The last text was from Freshman year.

Alex: Hi!

I wish she had answered right after, but she didn't.

She's probably busy.

Jack: Sorry about rushing out earlier

Alex: it's fine

And then BAM social life: done. I sigh and shut my phone off, tossing it to the side. I grab the guitar slowly as if it were a bomb that could go off at any second.

It feels natural, resting on my leg. My arm slung over the guitar. I start strumming the strings. Everything feels natural.

"Alex?" My mom smiles at me. "Back to original habits, huh?" She grins. "I just wanted to tell you that lunch is in ten minutes."

"Is Tom here?" I ask, letting the guitar balance on my leg.

She pales. "Alex- we need to talk- but later- about Tom."

"Oh- okay," I shrug and continue playing a few chords.

She leaves the room after a while.

Then something pops into my head.

"My ship went down, in a sea of sound. When I woke up alone I had everything," I sing softly while strumming the strings gently.

"Alex? Lunch!" Mom shouts. I put the guitar back to its stand and walk down the stairs.

"Alex, we have to talk about Tom-" mom starts, placing a plate down in front of me.

"Sweetie? Do you really think we should?" Dad asks.

"He deserves the truth, Peter," she replies.

He nods and starts eating.

"Do we not say grace anymore?" I ask slowly.

"We stopped while you were in Freshman year. Just some issues came up," dad explains.

"Alex- about Tom-"

"Tom passed away two years ago," mom says softly. I drop my spoon. "It was alcohol poisoning-"

My chair squeaks against the floor when I stand up. My eyes fill with tears.

"Why did you keep this from me??!" I shout. Dad stands up and so does my mom.

"Alex, honey, you just getting better we didn't-"

"Shut. Up. You don't keep something like this!" I shout angrily. I see red. I clench my fists, I want to punch something. Or someone.

"Alex, calm down-"

"NO!" I scream and run upstairs, slamming my door shut. I slide down with my back against the wall. I let tears slide down my face as I pull at my hair.

He's gone. And they kept that from me.

"Alex, open up." I hear someone knock the door. "It's Jack."

"Go away. You kept this from me too."

"I'm sorry. But I wanted you to be happy before having to remember all of that... Darkness."

"Leave me alone."

"You don't remember this, but we promised each other that we'd be here for each other, no matter what. No fucking matter what. I'm not leaving you." There's a pause. "Think about from my point of view. You have a chance to live- just a few days without those demons and nightmares. I'd give anything for you to forget. For you to be happy again."

I take a shaky breath before opening the door. He smiles and pulls his arms around me.

"I'm sorry-" I whimper.

"Shh," He whispers, patting my back comfortingly.

"Thank you," I mumble into his shoulder.

"I missed you," he sighs.

I nod and stand up straight. "I might not remember you. But I know you were important. And you still are. I'm just not entirely sure on why yet."

"Alex- we-" he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "We were dating up until you forgot everything."

My eyes widen. "I'm not gay," I stare blankly.

"Alex-"

"I'm not gay though."

"I'm sorry- I just felt like you should know."

"But- How? I'm not gay?"

"Okay... I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. Just know- I will always love you, even if you don't love me the same way," he says, looking right at me until he finishes. Then he looks at his feet.

"Sorry," I mumble.

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have said anything," he mutters before leaving.

I sigh and sit on my bed.

Then he pops his head back in. "Uh call me if you need anything. I'm always free for a nice chat about life and shit," he jokes before leaving again.