the waters broke and I knew that it would be too late to convince anyone that my son should stay with me. I was rushed to the birthing chamber and the physician came with an army of midwives from the city. Demitri was still in the room because he was the one to walk me in. but they were trying to usher him out. 

"Demitri!" I grabbed him as pain hit me digging into his skin. he didn't even flinch "we didn't pick a name"

"that is tradition my star" he knelt next to the bed they laid me on "people in my counrty don't name their babies until after the first winter. it is becuase the winter can be so harsh that many babies are lost." 

"no" tears fell as I took in his words. so many babies lost 

"I can feel that ours will be strong besides it is spring he will have all spring, Summer, and autumn to get prepared" Demitri left after that and didn't look back. people were in and out of my room but all the midwives covered their faces so they simple became shadows that witnessed my pain and loss. my baby was safe in me but once he was out they would take him away and he might not even surrvive the winter. would I be informed of his passing a day, a week, or a month after it occured. what if my magic could save him. 

"Do not cry sister" Faith said holding a towel to my head. she was attentive to me while all anyone eles cared about was the boy I was now bearing. 

"this is too hard, I can't keep fighting" I cried into her arms 

"the pain will pass" her voice was firm but quiet "all pain will be given to the godess she will heal and reveal our true selves through our tribulations" 

"sister stop not here" a spike of fear filled my heart hoping no one paid us mind to hear her say that 

"the godess looks after her mothers most attentivly" 

"what is the point if they will take him and if he dies what is the point of my being here and you and love and all of it? what is the point if I end up shattered" 

"change the narrative" she whispered back fiercly. the pain of child birth was much worse than anything I had ever felt I have no desire to ever feel that way again. I felt that I had been ripped apart when he started screaming and at the first sound of his voice I knew I had something to live for. Faith ran out with the physisian to anounce that the baby was in fact a healthy boy. the midwives were cleaning me and the baby up so that we were presentable when the council and royal family entered. I felt it like a chill in the air the midwife that was cleaning my son set him on a table all wrapped and cleaned so that she could help clean the room. I was to recieve my son when they finished collecting everything but she walked to his table and I knew there was something wrong. she grabbed him and walked to a door and not the door Demitri was behind. 

"bring me my baby" I demanded. girls popped their heads up and the girl froze. when the midwives went back to their work she started towards the door again. "Bring Me My Baby" 

"I am your highness but first the king and council get to see him" the other midwives nodded accepting this 

"he is behind the other door now bring me my baby" one of the other midwived walked closer to her asking I don't know what but I lost my cool screaming that I want my baby. Demitri promised that I would hold my baby he promised 

the girl fled the room. my heart broke a cry that sounded like death escaped my chest and I tried to crawl after the woman but the midwives pushed me back saying words that mattered little to me. Demitri burst into the room with guards then ran after where the girl had gone. Faith crawled on the bed to help the midwives hold me down. all I heard was a ringing in my ear as my throat began to taste of copper. I have no idea how long this lasted but eventually my eyes burned and swelled with tears and my fight eventually gave out. 

"shhhhh, sister, shhhhhh, He will save him your husband will bring your child back to you" my awarness was coming back to me and I think I wanted to get lost in the screaming again. he was gone my baby was gone. 

"it is over there is nothing left of me to give" I whispered to her

"shhhhh, my sister she will not abandon you" 

"I must have displeased her how can she expect this much of me" the door bangged open and Demitri walked through holding a bundle in his arms. the burning in my chest eased and my arms streched out for my baby. Faith slide out from my bed and Demitri sat down. I had him in my arms and he was perfect. he was making small sound but no tears. little blond hairs were on the top of his head and he stared at me with brilliant blue eyes. I don't care what traditions exist in the kingdom I have no intention of him leaving my side again.