The exhilarating opening match with Evermore had left the entire school in high spirits which hopefully would last at least till the next match. Elijah was back to being hailed, although he didn't seem to be nearly as cocky as before. The news of his break-up had spread like wildfire and somewhere deep inside me, I felt something close to pity for him. 

That evening, dinner in the mess hall was a raucous event. I sat with Nia and Aahan, preferring to be a spectator as many ridiculous toasts were made with glasses of flaming orange liquid. Orange juice with a hint of something less sublime I assumed. I couldn't help noticing, however, that Elijah was absent from the festivities. Having almost single-handedly destroying and then salvaging the match, he was the man of the hour, and I expected him to be basking in that glory.

Rarely had an opening match provoked such strong responses, pertaining, of course to the uncertainly dramatic outcome of the game that had been a roller coaster. I didn't have much time to celebrate, however, as the next evening, professor Everhart called me into her chamber suddenly after dinner. 

"Ezekiel!" she exclaimed. Her eyes shone with excitement as she continued, "I have finally found a place where there shall be fewer deterrents." She smiled as she gestured for me to follow her outside the chamber.

We walked in silence to the upper floor, where she led me into a vast, high ceilinged empty hall, much like her classroom but without the seating arrangement. We stood at opposite ends of the room as she called loudly. Her voice echoed around the empty hall, reverberating off the invisible crevices in the walls. "I will be unleashing a series of attacks. I need you to concentrate, and try to explore your powers from within."

I nodded at her, trying to focus my energy as I pushed every other thought away. The idea of wielding my powers again made me anxious as well as excited. 

 "Hold your ground, Ezekiel. If anytime during the demonstration, you feel particularly drained or need a break, say 'Guard,' and I will cease the attack immediately."

I nodded and closed my eyes, getting into a more comfortable stance. I spread my legs a little further to improve balance and took a deep breath, steeling myself. 

"Three...two...one!" she chanted. 

On command, I tried to focus my energy outwards. I struggled to discover the faint powers inside me, feeling a comforting but fleeting warmth. I was terrified I would lose it again like sand slipping through my fingers. But her powers were much stronger and in control than mine and I felt a heavy, invisible blow to my chest that knocked the air out of my lungs. 

The impact made me stagger and land on my back as a sharp pain shot up my body. Before I could get up, however, she unleashed a series of attacks, each more ferocious than the last, and I was soon cocooned in a tornado, binding me powerless. I hovered above, in the air, my heart in my throat as the horrifyingly familiar terror returned, trickling through the long healed gashes on my skin. 

"Guard!" I yelled, my voice muffled around the violent wind as the air around me ceased immediately, making me drop a few feet to the ground where I managed to regain my footing. 

"What happened?" she asked. "Do you need some time?"

I shook my head as the dreaded hollow filled my chest. The moment I had shut my eyes. I had felt nothing. "Let's try again. "

And so we did. And again. And again.

My body was soon too sore from the continuous attacks to go on. However, I was relentless. Frustration mounted as we continued, emptiness was the only thing I was feeling as I searched for a power that was suddenly elusive. 

Anxiety gnawed at my insides like an irritated fiend struggling to excavate its way out. The sheer lack of control over my powers was making me restless. Rendering me incapable of coherence and rationality. 

She ceased her attacks after a while, even without me asking her to. She walked closer to me. To where I lay sprawled on my back on the ground and stared dismally at the high ceiling, exhausted and sore. I staggered to my feet once again, the monster of self-doubt slowly finding its way to the surface. The crippling, overpowering, devastating worthlessness that I struggled to keep at bay. However, it remained like an infallible beast that my feeble confidence was unable to vanquish. Like a jarring tone in an already broken symphony. 

"Hunt," she began, her voice low with concern. "I think our method is not proving particularly effective."

I winced horribly as I tried to get up, feeling like I had run into a rock wall again and again and had swum a hundred miles both at once. My head throbbed painfully, each cell of my body aching in burning agony. "It did the last time," I replied defiantly, shaking my head as pain bolted up to my skull. "Why not now?

Everhart looked at me for a while before she continued. "Maybe...you need an anchor." 

I gazed up at her questioningly. "What?" 

She sighed, her eyes dark and glassy as if in a reverie. "It has been seen before. For several Nuvues, it is harder to get in touch with their powers because of prolonged dormancy. When this happens, an anchor to your inner powers will help you focus."

 I shook my head as I finally got up, trying hard not to flinch. "What exactly is an anchor?"

"Like a souvenir. With which you have an emotional attachment," she answered. "It could be a letter. A toy. A piece of jewellery. Even a companion, although-" a shadow passed over her face. "That can be fickle. "

"So...that's what I need to find? A souvenir?"

She nodded as I gulped. I hadn't been to my childhood house since I left almost eight years ago. I could not think of anything that I might have an attachment to. Except one. Something I was not willing to retrieve. My heart seemed to encase itself in a brittle, defensive icy cage at the very thought of returning. 

"Isn't there any another way? Maybe your attacks need to be more spontaneous. Maybe they need to be harsher." 

Everhart shook her head sadly and sighed. "I have done extensive research over this, and this seems to me to be the thing that has the highest chance at working. And...I suggest you hurry. It will take you a few days to accustom to the anchor. Few more to finally be able to wield your powers." 

I nodded at her, even as I felt my heart sinking. I was going back to the mortal world, back to that hovel, where I spent eight miserable years of my life. My stomach knotted uncomfortably. There was no way I could face it again. 

My mind worked furiously that night as I lay in my bed, my eyes flitting unwittingly to the tapestry at the corner. My mother's ring was all I could think about. I didn't have an emotional attachment to the ring itself, having left it behind. However, that was the only thing from my childhood that I could bear being around.

Or so I hoped. 

*

I planned to visit my childhood house that weekend. The prospect of going back alone was daunting, my heart was still wrenching when I thought of the possibilities of whom I could meet.

Geoffrey.

My entire body seemed to relive the pain, my chest heavy and contrastingly hollow. A chasm seemed to rip open somewhere in my core. The air was a sin to breathe. I shuddered uncontrollably, deluging myself in icy cold water in the shower in hopes to forget. Even then, the faint scars on my body seemed to gain a hue of vibrancy under the glistening shroud of water. 

I went to the mess early morning on Saturday to find Aris gorging a bowl of cereal as if he had been starving for weeks. I took a seat beside him as he acknowledged me with a small smile, immediately shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. I stared at him, mildly concerned by how he seemed to have confused the idea of air and food, inhaling the cereal with alarming voracity. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked as he shrugged.

"Just...tired," he looked at me, finally pausing breathing in his food. Before I could say anything further, he rose to his feet, proceeding to the buffet and returning with another bowl full of cereal. He started to dig into it with what could be defined as lust. 

I noticed his appearance, gazing at him silently and was taken aback to see that his eyes were devoid of its usual sparkle. He took in my attire and asked, "Are you going somewhere?"

I nodded. I would have preferred not having to tell him, but I knew nothing about transport or commutation around Evimeria. "I...was wondering, how might someone go to the mortal world from here?" 

He cocked an eyebrow. "You want to go to the mortal world? What for?" 

I answered in a to-be careless voice. "Just...an errand."

He gazed at me for a while before he scoffed. "I can take you to Ophelia. Some buses from there go to the mortal world."

"Alright. Thanks." I got up as he went back to gorging on his cereal, flecks of his food sticking to his chin with tiny droplets of milk. His cheeks seemed to puff up as he ate ravenously. 

"Er...you sure you're okay?" I asked. 

He didn't answer at first, before looking up at me, a dark shadow on his face. "My father...invited me over for birthday. To stay home tonight." 

"Oh? It is his birthday?" I asked, retaking my seat. He bit his lip and glanced away. He almost seemed to pout childishly, although I was sure it was subconscious. Perhaps another impulsive habit of his apart from binge eating and rash driving. 

"No...it's mine."

I stared at him, blinking rapidly. "Ah. So that is the reason for your jovial spirit. You are now a year closer to death."

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. 

"How old are you?" I asked, realizing with a jolt that I didn't know any of their ages. 

"Sixteen today," he answered, peering at me curiously. "You?"

"Seventeen," I answered. I was almost sure of my age, if not convinced. My inability to read even at a much older age than average had rendered me incapable of continuing my education,  requiring vigorous homeschooling mostly headed by Aunt Lisette before being sent to Stonewall. 

I was curious as to why his faithful friends had left him alone on his birthday. "How come you're not celebrating? Where are Nia and Aahan?"

He shrugged. "I don't celebrate it. They know. They respect that."

"So...is that why you're tensed? To go to your home?"

He sighed. "I'll have to go, don't I..." He didn't seem to require an answer as he spoke, "You should come with me."

I stared at him, my mouth agape. "To your place?"

He nodded. "I... I don't want to go to him alone." 

I stared at him and realized there was much more to the story. I vaguely wondered if there was some secret ploy invisible to me.

Finally, I nodded. "Alright. What time?"