³⁴ 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐬
The first class of the morning had started a while ago, but Hana wasn't there. A certain someone was holding her up, and the young woman wasn't trying to hurry in any way.
Usually, Akaashi was careful to ignore her in the corridors so as not to attract the suspicions of other students. It was an unspoken agreement they'd both kept since they started their special arrangement.
But that morning, he had been waiting for her at the school entrance. Not to talk to her, she'd quickly realized, as he rapidly led her into the school's restroom - boy or girl, she hadn't paid any attention. His casual behavior had surprised her, but he'd silenced her thoughts with an eager kiss before she'd even had a chance to comment on it.
Now, both were struggling to catch their breath, their hearts still beating a thousand miles an hour as a result of the dopamine explosion that had spread through their entire bodies. Hana's hands were lost in his messy hair, while the boy's held her firmly against the cabin wall. Their eyelids were closed, and their foreheads touched. A slight smile took place on Hana's lips. A smile he didn't see, but felt when she stealthily kissed his lips. It was a habit she'd been developing for some time, and Keisuke didn't know what to think about it.
The dark-haired man was the first to break their contact, gently releasing the hold he had under his comrade's thighs to allow her to get back on her feet. Hana barely had time to regain her balance before he had let go of her completely and moved away, without a glance, to put his uniform back in place.
Hana hadn't even finished buttoning up her shirt properly before he'd unlocked the door to leave. Fortunately, the school's restroom was empty at this time of day. No one was likely to see them coming out of the same stall, their uniforms unkempt and their hair in disarray.
Hana arrived just as he was throwing the condom into the garbage can under the sink, before turning on the tap to wash his hands. For the second time that morning, the young woman couldn't help noticing how different his attitude seemed. It wasn't obvious, since he'd never been very expressive, but she knew him well enough to tell the difference, and what happened next only confirmed her suspicions.
He hadn't given her the slightest glance as she joined him, facing the mirror, to fix her outfit. She could have been totally transparent, it would have produced the same effect. No one was talking. Only the lapping of the water disturbed the silence.
Out of the corner of her eye, Hana watched him discreetly. Although the dark-haired man had been the one to initiate things, the young woman sensed that he wasn't really into it. He seemed elsewhere again. Absorbed by his thoughts. Preoccupied. And his eye bags seemed even more pronounced. Something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on it.
And then, there were other things that tipped her off. For example, the fact that his eyelids were going out of their way to avoid eye contact by remaining frozen on the ground, or that he seemed in a strange hurry to leave. She found him nervous. Almost distant. This last observation saddened her, and Hana couldn't help but share her thoughts with him.
—Hey Akaashi, is everything all right? She asked in a tone that was intended to be harmless. It looks like something's on your mind.
At the sound of his last name, the young man finally deigned to raise his head in her direction. She continued.
—We've hardly spoken for a few weeks now, she explained softly, crossing her arms. Since your altercation with Kazuya, to be more precise. As soon as we're done, you leave in a hurry. And you don't really answer my messages anymore. So...I'm wondering.
Without taking her eyes off him, Hana gently approached him and placed one of her hands on his arm. Under her fingers, she felt his muscles tense, then nothing. Akaashi had stepped back to put some distance between them, as if his touch was unpleasant. This surprised her, but she didn't show it.
—I've been pretty busy lately, yeah, retorted the student, casually shoving his hands in his pockets.
—And...would you like to talk about it? Offered the young woman gently. I'm worried about you, Akaashi.
Hana hoped he would open up to her, that she could support him as he had done for her. But for some reason, her words didn't have the desired effect.
—You shouldn't be, he replied immediately, before sighing at the violence with which he'd just spoken. Listen, Hana...
Akaashi's voice softened, but his face remained neutral.
—Lately, I've been relying a bit too much on you.
Keisuke paused. The memory of the night he'd spent at her place after he'd escaped Midori's clutches flashed back in his mind, like a stinging reminder.
—And I know I was wrong to do so, he continued cautiously. My talk with Shirai reminded me of that.
Reading between the lines, Hana felt her heartbeat quicken at his implication. He was putting up barriers between them. The ones she'd taken so long to break down. In one sentence, she had the sensation of once again coming face to face with the boy she had met. The one she didn't know. The one who didn't trust her.
Hana took it upon herself to ignore the little twinge she felt in her heart, not wanting to show how much she'd been hurt. Instead, she let the beginnings of anger take over, her only defense against the wave of sadness that threatened to overwhelm her.
—In case you've forgotten, I'm your friend too, she said, not without a hint of irritation in her voice.
Keisuke closed his eyes briefly, weary of this conversation that the young woman seemed determined to complicate. He had simply suggested that she should distance herself from him, so why did she seem so offended? She knew as well as he did that it was for the best. They were just sex buddies, and that was it. There was no room for compassion or concern.
Or for any other feeling, for that matter.
So, even though it annoyed him to be seen as the wrong person, and not having the patience to beat around the bush any longer, Keisuke got straight to the point.
—If you don't like it, we can stop the whole thing.
Hana bit her lip, restraining herself from adding anything that might make things worse for her. He had cut off all her desire to get angry. The mere fact that he was offering to end it all as if what had happened between them had no value hurt her.
Except, of course, she didn't want him to know how much the thought bothered her. It would only lend credence to her idea that they'd grown a little too attached to each other. So if the only way to have a little of him was this, Hana would settle for even the tiniest crumbs he could offer her. She wouldn't change a thing. That was more than enough for her.
—I don't want it to end, Hana asserted in a calm voice. But what about you?
—Mmh, me neither.
They stared at each other for a moment, weighing up the meaning of their words. Despite his detached attitude, he didn't want their relationship to end either. But he wouldn't have admitted that so easily for the world. She didn't need to know that she'd become so difficult to replace. That was his business.
His, and nobody else's.
And before the umpteenth nonsense came out of his mouth, Keisuke tore himself away from her gaze and chose that moment to slip away. Hana let him go without saying a word, but a loud sigh escaped her as she splashed some water on her face. The more the days passed, the more she felt him slipping away. Had she done something to displease him? Hana quickly dismissed the idea. If she had, Akaashi would have let her know a long time ago. He wasn't the type to keep his tongue in his pocket - no pun intended. So it must have been something else.
Something he didn't felt like sharing with her.
Faced with this realization, Hana sighed again. Clearly, there was nothing she could do, so she preferred to put all thoughts of him aside. The young woman retrieved her school bag and, after a last look in the mirror, left the restroom. However, she didn't even have time to take three steps before a pair of shoes appeared in her field of vision.
—Well, well, what are you doing here?
In the corridor, still empty of students, Akane Midori was facing her. Hana had never had the opportunity to converse with her, but that didn't mean she didn't know who she was.
Amano and her friends often talked about Midori, and more specifically about current events concerning her. As a senior, she was quite popular in high school. She was frequently described as a kind and smart girl, who was always on the lookout for the latest trends — which seemed logical when you knew she was a model. On this last point, Hana couldn't deny that her eldest perfectly met the criteria. She was rather tall, slender, and her angelic face had a complexion as smooth as porcelain.
However, Hana was skeptical about her alleged quality of "kindness". From the way Midori was scrutinizing her, with her arms folded and a falsely sympathetic air glued to her lips, the brunette had a bad feeling.
—Did you get lost? Midori asked in a concerned tone. 'Cause you see, you just came out of the boys' restroom.
So Akaashi had dragged her into the boys' restroom. Hana took the time to curse him and his choice before finally replying to the young woman in front of her.
—It was a mistake, the skater retorted simply. I was in a hurry and didn't pay attention.
For a second, Hana swore she saw annoyance cross Midori's face. It was too brief for her to be certain. But now, as the seconds ticked away, the friendly smile her eldest always wore seemed more and more forced.
—It's all right, Midori replied in a tone that seemed to feign understanding. Mistakes happen. But fortunately, it's not very difficult to correct them.
Faced with her interlocutor's last reply, Hana twitched. Admittedly, she'd said it in jest, but to her, it sounded more like a warning, disguised by a clever play on words. His impression was only confirmed when Midori spoke again.
—And as I'm older, she added, taking a step forward, it's my duty to let younger people know about their mistakes so they can put it right. Isn't that so?
The look Midori gave her as she spoke grew harsher with time. It was as if the mask of kindness she tried so hard to show was gradually crumbling.
—Sometimes a little reminder is necessary, Midori commented in a honeyed tone. Just to get back on track. Where one belongs, she concluded, tilting her head slightly to one side.
—What exactly are you implying? Asked Hana, holding her gaze.
Midori chuckled at this.
—Oh, nothing special, she replied, distractedly observing her nails. I'm just reminding you of the rules of the establishment, so you can abide by them like everyone else.
Hana tightened her grip on the strap of her bag to channel the irritation that was beginning to blossom inside her. If the young woman had previously allowed herself to doubt, that same doubt was now no longer an issue. The student who was staring at her was clearly trying to send her a message that had nothing to do with, as she claimed, a simple reminder of the rules. What's more, the way Midori was trying to intimidate her by talking down to her, both literally and figuratively, was starting to get on her nerves.
—That's not the impression you're giving me, replied Hana, returning the hypocritical smile. Would you mind being clearer?
And then, bingo. In the blink of an eye, Midori's expression changed completely. The angelic face she'd displayed until then fell away, giving way to a bored look and an annoyed pout.
—Come on, Hoshino, she said with an annoyed click of her tongue. Don't play dumb, I'm sure you've understood me.
Here we are, Hana mused as the missing piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place. How had she not made the connection earlier? Now it all seemed so obvious that she almost felt foolish for not having thought of it earlier.
Akane Midori was jealous. Jealous because, if the rumors were right, she was still lusting after a certain young man who, for his part, had absolutely no interest in her. And the cause, again according to the same rumors, was because he was into another girl. A girl whose identity Midori didn't know...until today.
Or perhaps she'd already suspected her for some time? This was the most plausible hypothesis in Hana's eyes, given that Midori had let her name slip. She'd made inquiries about her before even looking for the right moment to confront her. There was no doubt about it.
What a lucky day, dealing with Midori was really all she needed.
Midori had followed them, and they hadn't noticed anything in the rush. Then she'd waited patiently for them to come out in turn to corner her, in an attempt to remind her, as she said so nicely, "that mistakes aren't very hard to correct".
Hana crossed her arms under her chest, smiling as insolently as she looked. So Midori thought she was just a "mistake"? An obstacle separating her from her ultimate goal? Couldn't she accept that perhaps not everyone was into her ?
Hana almost asked aloud which of the two was the dumbest.
—You're funny, lecturing me because I've gone to a place that's forbidden to me, when you yourself have nothing to do here at this time of day, Hana finally replied, not without giving her a mocking glance.
Midori gritted her teeth at her audacity, but Hana gave her no time to reply.
—Tell me, the skater said in a falsely saddened voice. Do you have trouble understanding the rules yourself?
—Stop trying to play out of your league, scolded her interlocutor in a harsh tone. These are not things for your age. The sandbox suits you much better, if you ask me.
Hana wasn't fazed by the barely disguised jibe. On the contrary, this half-spoken conversation was beginning to amuse her, almost as much as the furious face that the beautiful and gentle Midori was finding increasingly difficult to contain.
—But you're forgetting one thing, replied the brunette calmly. You don't play this kind of game alone, but in pairs. And it just so happens that the person I'm playing with doesn't want to play with anyone else, you understand?
Hana smiled, proud of her reply. She had expected Midori to explode, but the opposite happened. All trace of anger left her beautiful face as she laughed, as if what she'd just heard was the joke of the century.
—Oh honey, she sang in a falsely emotional voice, wiping away imaginary tears. It's so sweet of you to think he won't see other playmates when your back is turned.
Hana's smile faded imperceptibly. Midori's eyes widened.
—Don't tell me you didn't know? Chuckled Akane, hiding behind her hand. Awn, your naïveté is almost touching. I could almost blame you for choosing the wrong boy. But at the same time, I understand you. I must admit that the other night, he was quite... entertaining.
Hana clenched her fists, but didn't reply, doing her best not to show how much her interlocutor's insinuations had upset her. So, something had happened between them recently? The young woman couldn't believe it, so unpleasant was the thought. These moments she shared with him were very precious to her. No doubt naively, Hana had come to take it for granted that they belonged together. That she was the only one for him, just as he was the only one for her.
And now, to learn that all this was nothing special to him, left a bitter taste on the tip of her tongue. She felt betrayed, but at the same time, she felt foolish for thinking he'd settle for her when, apparently, everything she had to offer wasn't enough for him.
It was painful to think that she wasn't good enough for him.
Hana couldn't deny her disappointment, but she couldn't forget that Midori was always right in front of her, scrutinizing her every move. However, the brunette refused to give her the pleasure. So, with her head held high and an air of indifference on her features, the young woman pretended that the twinge in her heart was merely a figment of her imagination, hoping that the student in front of her could detect nothing.
—Next time, I won't be so lenient, Midori warned in a gentle tone. So make sure it doesn't happen again, 'kay? She finally said, as if addressing a child.
At the same moment, the bell rang, marking the end of their little discussion. Students were beginning to stream into the corridor, and Midori chose this moment to move away. Her angelic air was back in place as she turned on her heels, and her voice was at its friendliest as she turned, one last time, to Hana.
—It's been nice getting to know you, she exclaimed cheerfully, waving her hand. Goodbye, Hoshino !
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