Some days aren't worth living, and Hana would have adored to skip "today".

Her night had been restless, and her awakening difficult. Hana couldn't remember her dream - or rather, her nightmare - but the young woman had emerged in such a state of panic that there was no doubt it was certainly not a pleasant thing. She frequently had bad nights, and each time, the result was similar: headache, sore throat, tremors and nausea that accompanied her to the bathroom, where Hana found out how tired she looked. Her messy hair and the dark circles under her dull eyes could testify to it. 

This had been followed by her grandmother's incessant criticism at breakfast, when she, too, was clearly in a particularly foul mood. Nothing on the table suited her, and Hana's every move was the subject of a sarcastic dig. While Hana always managed to ignore the unpleasant feeling left by these irritating words, on this particular morning, the task was far more tedious. Especially when the sixty-something had reminded her of her private figure skating lesson... before launching into a long monologue about her indiscipline and general lack of effort. If the old lady wasn't deaf as a doorpost, she'd probably have heard her granddaughter's teeth grinding.

The clouds had turned into a gloomy gray color by the time Hana had set foot outside, and it was finally under a torrential downpour that she found herself waiting for the bus. With neither umbrella nor raincoat, she climbed aboard almost soaked to the skin, a slightly irritated pout on her face.

The day hadn't even really started when Hana could already tell it was going to be a bad Tuesday.

Things didn't get any better for the young woman; no sooner had she entered her classroom than Amano descended on her, obviously about to embroil her in another of his harebrained schemes. Hana had learned to recognize her facial expressions when her classmate was about to ask her for a favor, but refusing in the face of her pleas was something she hadn't quite mastered yet.

Perhaps if Hana had known what the whole thing was about to lead to, she'd have been a little more determined to get out of this predicament.

—Hi Hoshino, exclaimed Sora Amano, waving at her. Tell me, you're not enrolled in any clubs this year, right ?

—Hi, replied the girl, nonchalantly placing her bag on the table. I'm not. Why ?

Her friend's eyes lit up with joy.

—And you can swim, right ?

—What's your point? The young woman said impatiently, reluctant to beat about the bush.

—As you know, the school has a pool, and I'd really like to join the swimming club, but the problem is that I...

—I don't have time for this, Hana stopped her immediately, anticipating the end. Ask one of your other friends to sign up with you.

Besides, Amano was a rather popular and well-liked girl in the class. She'd have no problem finding a replacement for her, anyone - except Hana - would be delighted to be offered such an opportunity to get closer to her.

—But they're all part of a club already, she whimpered, before clasping her hands together. Please, you're my only hope!

Hana sighed heavily. Amano wasn't letting go, she should have known. But why was she so insistent? Either Hana had underestimated her comrade's attachment to her, or Amano had another idea in the back of her mind.

—My skating practice falls during club hours, Hana explained, hoping that it would be enough to end the conversation. Sorry, but my grandmother made it clear. I can't miss any more training.

—Ah yes, that's right. I'd forgotten that you're planning to go back to competitions this year...

The young woman tensed at Amano's words, fearing that someone had intercepted this conversation. But fortunately, none of the students seemed interested in them. Surprisingly, they all seemed to be deep in rereading their lessons. At least her secret wouldn't be exposed after just three weeks of classes....

—So would you at least agree to accompany me to the pool after class? Argued the little brunette in a pleading voice. Like...tomorrow night? You don't have practice, if memory serves.

Hana stammered, not expecting her interlocutor to be so well-informed. However...

—Tomorrow we're finishing really late, interrupted her seatmate, her voice exuding enthusiasm. So there'll hardly be anyone at the pool!  And what's more, the baseball team will be training on the field just in front of it, since they share the changing rooms with the swimming club, and...

To Hana's delight, their literature teacher finally made her entrance, giving her the pleasure of cutting short the discussion. Except her chance didn't last.

—Hello everyone, have a seat and take out a sheet of paper. Today, we start with a pop quiz on the last lesson.

Hell, that's really all what Hana needed. She had totally forgotten to study, and a surge of panic began to crush her stomach as she realized - not without difficulty - that she was going to fail with flying colors. She had sworn to herself that she would put more effort into her studies, but it took her just three weeks before she broke that promise.

—Goddamn it, I can't believe it, she grumbled in a low voice.

—Hey, haven't you been studying? Amano murmured beside her, clearly surprised. And didn't you notice how quiet everyone was this morning?

—It slipped my mind, Hana whispered as their teacher wrote the questions on the blackboard.

—I'll let you copy off me if you like, offered Amano with a smile. I'm perfectly up-to-date. And in exchange, you'll come with me tomorrow?

With her back to the wall, and unwilling to sully her report card with a bad mark at the tender start of her year, the young woman needed no more than that to make her choice. Or rather, it took no more than that for her to jump at the only option capable of limiting the damage.

—Sold, she breathed slightly reluctantly.

—Great! Exclaimed her classmate loudly.

—Silence in the back, growled the adult, suddenly turning around. Well, you've got until the end of the hour.

─── ∗∙⋅❀⋅∙∗ ───

Walking briskly, Hana was looking for a quiet spot to spend the rest of her lunch break. For some obscure reason, her uneasiness had only intensified over the morning. At lunchtime, the urgent need to isolate herself and regain her composure had become more pressing than ever.

At the canteen, her ordeal continued. As always, she was served one of those special meal trays that followed her strict diet to the letter. Compared to Amano's and her two friends', the food on her plate didn't really make her want to eat. Her appetite just wasn't there. The only thought on her mind was that she wanted to be alone for a while.

As soon as she had eaten her tray, Hana pretended she had to go to the administration office before their sports class. She didn't even wait for any response from her classmates before taking leave of them, disappearing from their sight in the blink of an eye.

With a quick gait, Hana skirted the main building, planning to head for the school's most isolated vending machine. She hoped to find some respite there, but at the sight of a few students chatting happily nearby, the brunette retraced her steps. Undeterred, after a few more seconds, the young woman finally landed in a deserted asphalt alleyway, presumably leading to a condemned road. No one was lurking around this dead-end, so Hana didn't hesitate. She settled herself on the low wall that bordered the narrow path, then rested her head against one of her knees, which she had brought up to her chest.

Many minutes passed in this way, but it was impossible for the young woman to calm down. She couldn't find any particular reason for her state of mind - or rather, she refused to face it up - and this only reinforced her feeling of helplessness in the face of the anxiety attack that had been threatening to overwhelm her since she woke up. And if there was one thing she hated, it was letting her emotions take control of her reason.

With the umpteenth sigh, Hana opened her eyelids and looked down at her school bag. An idea suddenly lit up her mind, and the young woman reached out to draw it to her. Quickly, she opened it and her fingers slipped into the torn lining, pulling out the pack of cigarettes she'd brought with her. The day before, after discovering that the boy from the bridge attended the same high school as her, the brunette had said to herself that she might return his property if the opportunity arose again. After all, this kind of thing was quite expensive, and since she didn't smoke anyway, Hana had no reason to keep it.

But right now, an entirely different urge concerning this pale yellow box animated her thoughts as she twirled it in her hands. Hana had often heard smokers boast of the soothing effects of their daily dose of nicotine, and although she was always skeptical of this rumor since she'd never felt anything like it on the rare occasions she'd try it, the desire to double-check things for herself swept everything else aside. 

In any case, she had nothing to lose. Besides, the mysterious stranger wouldn't even notice if he was missing one fag. At worst, he'd just have to accept that it was the price he had to pay for her kindness.

After checking one last time that she was alone, Hana slipped one of the orange tubes between her lips before lighting up the end, mentally thanking the young man for taping the small packet of matches. He must have stuck it here to prevent cases where he didn't have a lighter on him, and Hana thought it was rather clever of him.

The smoke tingled unusually in her throat when Hana had a drag, almost smothering. She didn't expect this cigarette to be as strong, but it didn't prevent her from redoing the same action, leaving a trace of her lip balm on the orange cone.

With a sudden gesture of the thumb, Hana dropped the ashes in a small heap at her feet. A pile that was soon dissipated by a slight draught of air, all under her distant eye. Although her thoughts had calmed down a little, she was lost in them again, so she didn't immediately notice the person who approached her hiding place with hushed steps.

It was only when a pair of black shoes appeared in her field of vision that Hana hastily hid her cigarette behind her, suddenly as straight as a candle. The idea of being discovered in full mischief erased the little tranquility she had regained, giving way to a sudden wave of stress. She hastily raised her head, ready to make up the excuse that her mind had just invented, but her eyes met the piercing gaze of the stranger on the bridge. A semblance of relief immediately invaded her.

The boy didn't hide his surprise by discovering someone – and not just anyone – here in his hiding spot. No one ever came to this place that he had, after all this time, monopolized to smoke out of the sight of the supervisors, and now a student whom he had met far too often recently suddenly showed up. How unlucky.

While settling quietly on the wall opposite the young woman, he could not help but cast a look heavy with suspicion. If he had until then discarded the idea that she was some kind of stalker who was trying to get closer to him, his doubts had just come back to gallop with this strange coincidence.

Facing him, the young woman seemed strangely agitated. He would even call her behavior nervous, judging his breathing slightly faster than the norm and the slight tremors of her fingers. The signs were light, almost imperceptible, but not enough to pass through his sharp gaze. No detail escaped him, not even the cylinder she was still trying to hide between her fingers. Very quickly, he concluded that it was this last element that provoked this nervousness in her, and even if the young woman was about to prove him right, he was far from suspecting the main cause of her condition.

—I didn't know you were smoking, he said in a neutral voice without even glancing at her.

—I don't smoke, she replied in a tone that would have convinced him if he hadn't literally caught her red-handed.

Hana bit the inside of her cheeks, praying that her interlocutor would take her words for it. She feared that he would report her, smoking even though it was strictly prohibited. To add up, she was not even of legal age to buy such things, and she would have to admit where those cigarettes came from. And there, in addition to the proper dismissal that awaited her, this boy would know that not only she deprived him of his belonging, but she also had taken advantage of it by using it shamelessly.

As she imagined the worst, the young man's slight pounding took Hana out of her thoughts. He had caught her, she had to act. She quietly cleared up her throat.

—This is an exception, she replied in a detached tone. I do not intend to ruin my health so foolishly.

He already knew that. She told him the other night, but apparently, she forgot. It didn't matter. The young man took out a pack of cigarettes, identical to the one Hana hid in her bag. He slipped one between his lips before giving her a mocking look, amused by her reaction.

—Quit yapping, he slowly muttered in an imperturbable tone as he was much more concerned that one of his hair strands might pass in front of the flame of his lighter. I still don't care.

Far from feeling offended, Hana had to restrain herself from rolling back her eyes. It's true, he had much more to lose when we knew about all the substances he was using, so he had no reason to give up her little secret. And the fact that he didn't want to question her about anything reinforced her idea that he hadn't made the connection between her cigarette and the disappearance of his package. Good. She would give it to him another day, when the circumstances were more favorable.

No one spoke again, and the rest of their lunch break passed, in a calmness which each of them appreciated. They had nothing to say to each other, and none wanted to bother having a conversation of convenience. The mere presence of the other was more than enough to fill the silence.

From time to time, Hana raised her head to discreetly spy on the boy a few steps from her. Each time, the same observation came back to her : In spite of his somewhat brittle character, Hana would lie by claiming that he was devoid of any charm.

He was tall, and according to his slender but athletic build, she suspected him of doing sports, and perhaps even at a high level. By day, his eyes seemed even clearer, and the slight dark circles that highlighted his gaze seemed to be an integral part of his being. As in Hana's memories, his fingers always wore the same silver signet rings. He had raised the sleeves of his uniform shirt to the elbows, and this time Hana had every opportunity to recognize and contemplate a part of the snake that marked the skin of his right arm. However, she quickly turned her eyes away before he could intercept her curious gaze.

The first bell rang, and it was the exact moment that the pretty brunette chooses to leave, the spirit more soothed than when she first came. She exchanged a brief glimpse with the boy whose name she still didn't know before disappearing, once and for all, from his field of vision.