-

hansol's mind spins as he just sits there unable to move out of pure shock.

wonwoo's hand slowly trails from hansol's waist down to his legs and up his thigh as he, himself, deepens the kiss and licks hansol's lip gently. without thinking straight hansol opens his mouth slightly and wonwoo's tongue slides in.

hansol feel wonwoo's hand come closer and closer to his private part but it's actually like he's frozen but when he feels wonwoo's rough hands rubbing him it's like a spell is broken and he's back to reality.

hansol uses all his force to push wonwoo off him as his back is pressed against the bathroom wall behind him.

"what are you doing?!" hansol raises his voice and stares at wonwoo, fuming as he stands up ready to leave.

"wait! hansol" wonwoo stands up as well and grabs hansol's arm and spin him around.

"i'm sorry! i don't know what i was thinking!" wonwoo panics as his eyes dart staking the room and his big pupils shake drastically.

the bathroom door then closes as they hear voices from behind it and hansol feel fear and panic rush over him. wonwoo had locked the door earlier but someone unlocked it? what if someone saw them... kissing?

hansol shake wonwoo off his arm and pushes open the door with all his might and is met with a bunch of guys, all on their phones as he rushes past them and down the stairs.

slurs pouring out of one guy's mouth as he stumbles down and almost kicks down the door as he tries to open it and escape as quickly as humanly possible. he feels his heart drop and his head spin as he runs the fastest he possibly can away from the house and to the bus stop not that far away.

he sits down and sighs as he feels a vibration from his pocket and looks at his phone.

3 new message(s) from: my boo

my boo:
everyone should know tbh

sent 10.36 pm

my boo:
tell me all about it later okay baby have fun

sent 10.41 pm

my boo:
love you

sent 10.43 pm

hansol stare at the screen before something wet drops on the lit up screen and he realises that he crying, and not just crying, full on sobbing until his stomach and heart hurt. he pulls his legs up from the ground and bury his face in his knees and feel his heart break.

"i don't deserve seungkwan hyung, i don't deserve seungkwan hyung, i don't deserve seungkwan hyung, i don't deserve seungkwan hyung." hansol repeats quietly to himself as he sways slowly.

me:
i'm sorry

sent 10.46 pm

everything hurts. every single inch of his body was aching. just the thought of seungkwan knowing that his best friend and boyfriend kissed was painful.

the bus stops and hansol get up from the bench and on the bus, with tears still streaming down his face he finds a seat at the far back of the bus and sits down with his face pressed against the window. his phone vibrates again and he looks down in his hand.

4 new message(s) from: my boo

hansol sighs and feel a painful tear sting his face and burn his cheek as he unlocks his phone.

my boo:
what do you mean?

sent 10.50 pm

my boo:
are you okay???

sent 10.50 pm

my boo:
babe??

sent 10.50 pm

my boo:
hansol???

sent 10.51 pm

hansol shakes his head and lets his phone fall down into his knee as he stares out the window again, the dark sky is suddenly filled with grey clouds and then the sky opens and rain starts heavy fall down and hit the bus window and the grey asphalt below.

"everything's my fault." hansol whispers to himself as he grabs his knees to relieve the aching pain.

"i could've pushed him away sooner." he continues as he slowly let his head fall.

"i could've avoided him by just simply moving an inch." hansol look down at his knees and sees a red liquid slowly filling up his cuticle by pressing his fingers too hard into his knees. a salty tear drops down which just makes the pain even more unbearable.

"he deserves better than me." hansol bites his lip and let his white and red fingers slowly fall to his side as he looks out the window again.

he stares at the slowly moving traffic passing by the window, all the humans with their own intentions and minds. had any of these people ever done something this horrible? but with their own mindset, their own ideas? have any of the people sitting in those cars ever had things like this happen to them? what did they do?

hansol lets his forehead lean against the window as he feels a tear roll down his cheek and drops onto his jeans.

the bus stops and gradually it becomes emptier and emptier until it's only hansol and two young girls sitting in the front of the bus. hansol sighs and picks up his phone.

6 new message(s) from: my boo
2 missed call(s) from: my boo

he bites his lip and unlocks his phone whilst fighting back the tears that are slowly pushing their way out.

my boo:
hansol, baby

sent 10.57 pm

my boo:
please listen to me now

sent 10.57 pm

my boo:
whatever is going on rn, it's going to be fine just call me or something

sent 10.58 pm

my boo:
i'm just worried about you okay

sent 10.59 pm

my boo:
hansol call me

sent 11.01 pm

my boo:
HANSOL ARE YOU OKAY

sent 11.02

"shit" hansol sniffs and wipes his face.

he lets his fingers rest above the keyboard, he was just too embarrassed and guilty to talk to seungkwan in any way right now but he was that worried.

a short signal.

"hello?! hansol, baby? are you okay?!" seungkwan's lovely and warm voice fills his ear and heart, his worried tone making him shiver as he felt the guilt layer over him and tie a big knot around his heart.

just the voice of that lovely boy was enough to make hansol feel every possible emotion ever. relief, anger, happiness, sorrow, embarrassment, regret and love. it all came over hansol so quickly as he slowly feels his tears well up again.

the line goes quiet for a second and hansol can only hear the sound of seungkwan's breathing.

"are you crying, hansol?"

hansol can't help but sob as a response as he tries to calm himself down.

"i-i won't be... coming home tonight." hansol manage to pull together between hiccups and tears welling.

"why? what's wrong, baby? are you okay? did anything happen?" seungkwan asks a million questions as they all float around hansol's head.

"i'm totally fine... don't worry." hansol closes his eyes and lean backwards, listening to the sound of seungkwan's breathing.

i'm so not fine.
-
a/n:
henlo wonderful people !!
i said i was gonna fix this mess
but y'all know me, i love to add
meaningless shit to everything lmao

(and as y'all are reading this i wanna
say thank you for 5k reads, 500+ votes
AND comments hshshsjsk)

thank you so much for reading!!

pls tell me your thoughts ♡

ilysm
-hanna