On September 18, 2015, a New Yorker filmed and posted a short clip of a rat attempting to carry a slice of pizza down some stairs onto Instagram and YouTube. These were some of the responses on Instagram:

goldengurl31 You see a rat, but I see a hard-working dad just trying to feed his four teenaged turtles.

ariaphoenix48 You can do it Pizza Rat! I believe in you!

nj-d3vil they're evolving

ny-empire11 a true New Yorker

princesspeachthe4th This is why I refuse to step foot in NYC

miss_missippi well look at the little fella go!

potatogod @princesspeachthe4th shut the fuck up bitch you do you Pizza Rat!

queen_eliza_x I ship it

mary-nevermore @queen_eliza_x  Pizza X Rat = Pizza Rat! XD

beautiful_oregon @mary-forever-nevermore I'm going to draw it! :)

coolguychicago no big deal. our rats can lift bigger slices

thecornfarmer i'm hungry

ny-empire11 @coolguychicago -_-

mary-nevermore @beautiful_oregon I'll write a fanfic!

iluvhughjackman26 i would've gotten pepperoni...

leialoha pineapple on pizza is a sin

im_not_miserable247 it's just a rat...

goudabay @im_not_miserable247 are you being ratcist? :D

im_not_miserable247 @goudabay smh

arkvark25 @goudabay booooo! go home! booooo!

arthur_kirkland That rat is going to get obesity from eating that pizza.

ultimate-masshole @arthur_kirkland like your mom!

cock-island @arthur_kirkland ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

americas.dick @arthur_kirkland SUCK IT!!!

Wyoming turns off his phone. "I'm never going on social media ever again."

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Among the many animal that inhabit Earth, rats are one of the most misunderstood. Sure, they have the power to scare giant-ass elephants and a single bite from one of them can possibly kill you, but cut them some slack. Most can barely grow a year old and-

"Fuck rats!" New York yells into a vent in his wall. "Rats are fucking disgusting! They poop everywhere! They eat through almost everything! And what's worst, they're fucking ninjas who can bite your face off!"

Squeak! Squeak!

York turns his head around. He spots a large, brown rat sitting on top of his kitchen island counter. The rodent nibbles on a red, juicy apple it managed to grab from the nearby fruit bowl. The young man clenches the broom and slams the bushy end onto the rat in a loud wham.

Squeak! Squeak!

The rat escapes through the straw bristles, scurrying across the living room. New York's Yorkshire terrier barks at the rat as it tries to chase it down. York chases after the rat with the broom.

"Get back here!"

Just before either one of them can catch the rat, the rodents slips through a small hole in a wall. Rosy paws at the hole furiously, barking constantly at the hole in frustration.

York grits his teeth. "Rats! He got away!" He breaks the broom in half.

~ Hetalia! ~

York tries setting a trap.

"That's not him..." he notes the small, dead mouse in the trap.

York tries setting another trap.

"Nothing..." he notes the untriggered trap.

York tries poisons.

"He didn't even touch it..." he notes the untouched bait.

York even tries calling pest control. Just when he thinks he has gotten rid of Asshat-

"Motherfucker!" He comes back home to see rat poop on his kitchen counter. Even worse, the poop spells out "FUCK U".

So desperate to catch that annoying prick, York brings a cat home. He's not even a cat person. He's that desperate.

"Really, Tifa?" York stares down at the dark-coated feline with the diamond-encrusted collar.

The rat is sitting on a bar stool, defenseless as it eats a piece of chocolate. The cat just stares at the rat from a nearby sofa, its hunting instincts turned off. It doesn't even bother to chase it down. It just watches the rat like it's a documentary on Animal Planet. Lazy fiend...

"... You're a cat. Do something!"

"Mrow."

York shake his head. "I got you off the streets, and this is the thanks I get."

"Mrow."

"... Why are you even a cat?"

~ Hetalia... ~

"Okay. Tifa doesn't count. It's up to you now, Chocola." York stares down at the kitten.

The chocolate brown kitten purrs as it rubs its body against York's hand. "Mew~"

York softly smiles. "Good. First, let's do some training."

He grabs a cat wand off a glass table. He dangles the fake, gray mouse in front of the kitten. The kitten stares curiously at the dangling toy with interest. She paws at the fake mouse, giving it a test swat. She then bites the plush on the head.

"That's it. Just like that, but harder." York dangles the fake mouse on the floor. "Now, imagine this is Asshat. He's scurrying across the floor and-"

"What are you doing?"

York looks up to see New Jersey standing behind him. He glares. "How'd you get in here?"

The Jersey Devil smirks. "I used a key."

"I didn't give you a key."

"..."

"..."

"... Rosy!"

Arf! Arf! Arf!

"O-Okay! Okay! I'm not welcomed here! Gah! Control your dog!"

~ Hetalia! ~

New York comes back home from work.

"Hey, Chocola. Did you catch Asshat yet?" he calls as he looks around for the kitten.

The kitten prances over to York with a rodent in its mouth. The kitten proudly puffs its chest as it places its trophy in front of its owner to inspect. York frowns seeing the mouse isn't the rat he was inspecting.

He forces a smile before petting Chocola's head. "Good girl."

The kitten purrs in delight.

Squeak! Squeak!

York's ears perk up. He scans the living room and nearby kitchen. Frustrated, he grabs the nearest object he can find: a newspaper. Like that'll do him any good. He scans around his house, unable to find the rat.

"Where the fuck are you?! I'm getting sick and tired seeing your shit and piss all over my apartment! It's time for you to either move out or die!"

Asshat makes a series of chirps as though it's mocking the New Yorker.

"I guess someone's looking to die! I'll beat the shit out of you and burn your remains in a dumpster! I don't care if PETA says it's wrong! Fuck off!"

Next door, a couple are moving into their apartment when they hear curses next door. Their eyes grow wide hearing a heavy series of thumps and crashes.

"Should I call 9-1-1?"

More curses follow.

"... I think we should find another apartment elsewhere."

☆☆☆☆☆

+ Pizza Rat is a famous rat from New York who went viral in 2015 for trying to carry a slice of pizza the size of its body down a set of stairs, possibly to its hideout. Most reactions to the video are positive, likening the determined rat to Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

- Hopefully many of you, readers, were able to figure out who's who judging by their state-related Instagram accounts.

+ New York City is known for its rat problems. According to a recent study in 2014, there are around 2 million rats living in the city. As most know, rats carry pathogens that come from bacteria in a rat's saliva, urine, and feces in addition to physical contact like a bite, or through vectors such as fleas. In fact, some people can get an allergic reaction from the presence of rodent hair! New York City's rats have gotten so dangerous to the point of sneaking up on people. There have even been reports of rats biting babies' faces off! The problem has gotten so bad, there's even a number any New Yorker can call to specifically report complaints on the city's rat problems.

- One may think, "Just kill all the rats! Lay a bunch of traps, and they'll be gone!" If only it's that easy. Despite their short lifespans, brown rats can reproduce many offspring (up to 14 per litter) in a short amount of time. Their offspring can mature rapidly, growing sexually mature within 5-6 months! In addition to all that, rats are extremely intelligent. They're known to live in large, hierarchical groups that's similar to mafias. Smaller rats will often scout and risk their lives testing traps and poisons. When they die, members of the group will then stay away from such traps. If New York City really want these pests gone, they'll need to invest a lot of their resources into getting rid of them which even then is only a temporary solution until the rats come back and repopulate the city again within a few months.

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