Idaho stares down at the miserable citizens of the land from the mountain he stands on, wondering how they can go through their boring lives without experiencing the joy that is the potato.

Oh, the beautiful, brown beauty known as Solanum tuberosum. Fuck corn, fuck wheat, and fuck rice! Weren't for the potato, many people would suffer from famine. Weren't for the potato, many recipes wouldn't have been born. Weren't for the potato, Mr. Potato Head would just be Mr. Head. And that would be sad. Very sad indeed.

Idaho can go on how wonderful the glorious potato is, but he rather show than tell everyone why they should worship a brown, beautiful spud. He brings up a spellbook in his hands, one he had purchased off Craigslist. Sure, he doesn't believe in magic and the occult. But the person on the site claims there is a spell within this ancient book that can summon anything. Anything. So, why not test that claim?

He places the perfect potato at the center of the summoning circle. Once that's done, he flips through the pages of the spellbook and finds the spell he wants to try out. He memorize the words and places the book down on the ground. He raises his hands up toward the gray sky. Out loud, he boldly chants, "Deus rusticae summon thy pluvia y snow! Mundus eorum pubesco apud potato!"

The skies darken and rumble in response. He watches the roaring clouds in anticipation for what may come. Falling from the sky, behold, a rainstorm of potatoes!

"Holy taters! That actually worked!" he exclaims in excitement. He grabs a couple of potatoes from the air. "Yes! Yes! Ahahahaha! The potato apocalypse is here! Hahahahaha!" He dances around the summoning circle while potatoes continue to fall all around him.

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"Gotta lose all this pączki weight," Indiana pants.

After jogging around the park for about ten minutes, she decides to take a break by the creek. While drinking a bottle of water, she notices a round object flowing down the current. She manages to pick it right out of the water. She makes a weird face.

'Did someone lose their potato?' she ponders.

Her eyes widen when she spots another potato floating in the river. She finds another. And then another. And another after that one. She count as many as thirty potatoes going down the river. Unless a farmer's truck crashed upriver, where were all these potatoes coming from?

"What is going- Aaaaah!" A barrage of potatoes fall on her head.

She runs off to find shelter with many questions on her mind.

~ Hetalia? ~

It's another cold day at Iowa's home. Cold weather means no corn which is very depressing for him. He stares out the window with a bowl full of popcorn, unhappily watching the snow pile on top of his barren farm.

"Why can't spring come sooner?" he whines. "I really want to start farming right away."

Ka-plunk!

He looks up at the ceiling in confusion.

Ka-plunk! Ka-plunk!

He looks out the window and sees a hundred potatoes fall like meteorites across his farm. He doesn't know what to make of this strange phenomenon.

"God, I know you mean well, but can it be cobs of corn instead?"

~ Hetalia... ~

"Heheheheh..." New Jersey snickers while writing a short message on a spud. He places the spud in a giant bag and hands it to the delivery man at his doorway. "Remember to ring his doorbell every fifteen minutes," he reminds them before handing them the money.

The delivery man slings the bag over his shoulder. "All one hundred potatoes for that one address?" He adjusts his hat.

"Yep!" New Jersey grins with mischief from ear to ear.

~ Hetalia! ~

"Breaking news!" A reporter appears on the TV screen. "This is P.B. Jefferson reporting for today's afternoon news. Scientists may have possibly figured out why potatoes are falling from the sky across North America. Before we get to them, we'll turn to our meteorologist, Henry Jefferson, who's reporting live on this strange phenomenon."

New York watches the reporters on his flat screen TV make any sense of this weird weather. "So, I wasn't going crazy from work." He sits back on his couch. "Well, no work for me today."

Ding-dong!

His Yorkshire terrier is the first to reach the door, yapping at the sound like mad. New York grumbles curses as he gets up from the couch. He takes a moment to breathe before opening the door. Oh, what a surprise. There's another potato sitting at his door.

He picks up the potato parcel and reads the short message in an annoyed voice, "Taters gonna tate..." He angrily chucks the potato into a bin full of unfunny potato puns. "Who keeps sending me these stupid potatoes?!"

~ Hetalia... ~

"Woohoo!" North Carolina can't hold herself back from shouting in glee. "This is like Easter but in March!"

She quickly gathers all the sweet potatoes that fell from the sky. She drools at the number of recipes she can make with these sweet spuds. Sweet potatoes fries, sweet potato mash, sweet potato pie... Oooh! Sweet potato pie on Pi Day! What a treat!

"This is the best day ever!" she laughs.

~ Hetalia! ~

"What? What do you mean you ran out of potatoes?" Texas questions the food stand. "I thought y'all specialize in tornado potatoes!"

The cook raises his hands in defense. "S-Sorry, ma'am! All our potatoes suddenly disappeared."

"Disappeared?" She scoffs in disbelief, "I-"

"Tex, it's fine," Montana interrupts. "The carnival has plenty of food."

"No, it's not fine! You wanted a tornado potato, and I told you I would get you one. If I had to go to South Korea to get you one, I would. Christ! I would pray for a potato if I could-" A potato lands in Texas's hands. "... What?"

"Did a potato just fall from the sky? Or, am I imagining things?"

Two more potatoes fall around the Western duo. Many rodeo attendees look to the sky, amazed to see more brown spuds land across the carnival fairgrounds.

Texas hands the potato to the cook. "One tornado potato with sausage please."

The cook takes the potato without question. "Any seasoning?"

"Ranch," Montana answers.

"Coming right up."

~ Hetalia? ~

"96... 97... 98... 99..." Oregon stops at the last crate full of potatoes. "And 100 crates full of potatoes!" She beams. "We're going to solve world hunger in no time!"

Washington drives a tractor carrying crates of potatoes. "We can even feed the homeless for weeks. Months even!" he exclaims.

"We may even find an alternate source of energy to fuel our machinery thanks to these potatoes."

"Or medicine!"

The two chatter over the endless possibilities as potatoes continue to fall endlessly from the sky.

~ Hetalia! ~

"Wahahaha!" Idaho maniacally stares down at the potato-covered land. "Relish this day, you sad bastards! From this day onward, everyone must-" A potato hits his cheek. "Ow! What the potato fuck is that?"

"You've gone too far!" Maine appears at the top of the mountain.

He hisses, "How did you find me? You shouldn't be here!"

She crosses her arms. "Stop summoning potatoes, Idaho."

"Why should I?"

"Because your potatoes suck."

He gasps. "Take that back!"

"If it's going to rain potatoes, it should be my potatoes for mine are the best."

"Oh, please! Those moldy lumps of cancer you grow can't compare to the terrifically perfect taste one can get from eating one of my tubers."

"At least my potatoes aren't plagued by pests! Mine have survived many winters, making them more fit to survive onto the warm plates of American dinners for many generations."

"Americans don't give a damn for Maine potatoes! If they want a potato, they get an Idaho potato. Fuck it! When they think of me, they think of potatoes!" He sneers, "Ask an American about Maine potatoes, they'll think you're stupid."

Maine gasps. "W-Well, you know what's also stupid?" She stomps over to the center of the summoning circle. "This!" She kicks the potato off the mountain.

"AAaaaAaaAaaahh! You Mainiac!" Idaho screams. "Mr. Potato! I'll save you!" He leaps off the mountain.

Maine watches Idaho plummet over a thousand feet down the slope. "At least potatoes aren't falling from the sky anymore." She stares back at the empty, gray sky. "... I should really check to see if he's alright." She hurries down the mountain, careful not to trip over the potatoes that are left on the ground.

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+ Potatoes are Idaho's state vegetable due the state's history of producing vast quantities of  high-quality potatoes thanks to its ideal geography. For many people, potatoes are the only thing they know about the state.

+ As usual, I made many references within this episode.

- Potato Creek State Park is located in Indiana. It was named after tubers growing along the banks of the creek.

- Iowa produces the most corn in the United States. I like to think he and Idaho get into fights over their vegetable preferences.

- Potato Parcel is a American company that specializes in delivering potatoes with messages on them. Of course, there's a 140 character limit, so don't bother writing an essay on a giant spud.

- Sweet potatoes are distantly related to potatoes. They're recognized as the state vegetable of North Carolina.

- Tornado potatoes are originally a street food from South Korea. It consists of a potato being cut into a spiral around a skewer and later fried into a crisp. They're usually powdered in various seasonings; sometimes they're wrapped around a sausage. Typically, anyone can find tornado potatoes at small fairs and festivals. I usually get one every year at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo in parmesan garlic seasoning, and it's very tasty. I recommend it.

- Washington is second among states that produce potatoes. I like to think Washington and Oregon will find a way to use the potatoes they gathered for a good cause.

- Even though Maine is mainly known for lobsters and blueberries, the state was once a main producer for potatoes until the 20th century when various states in the West began to produce more potatoes than the state. Nevertheless, Maine is still proud of their potato tradition.

~

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