Brace yourself. I'm about to start rambling.

You know that time when you have that butterfly feeling in your stomach that started the moment you did something you know you shouldn't have done not long ago, and by not long ago I mean last night, but it was so good and you know it in your heart you will definitely think about possibly doing it again sooner rather than later even though you know you absolutely shouldn't even think about it because you know it is just not a good idea, but you can't help it and now it's the only thing you think about, and everything is super confusing since every time you try to think about what you did could possibly mean, you don't get anywhere with answers leaving you right where you started?

Yeah, I know. Life is tough.

The cause of my confusion had driven me home last night but didn't say much in the car on our way over. Which left me wondering what was going through his mind. He seemed cool as a cucumber while I was left blushing every time I would remember the way we were clinging on to each other as we if were clinging to dear life itself.

With a sigh, I looked at my bedside watch only to realize I spent a lot more time mulling over my last night's action than I anticipated. With a final sigh, I got up, brushed my teeth, and slowly made my way to the kitchen.

"There you are. Did you get a good sleep? How was your night yesterday?"

Mom who again, sat on the table with her laptop open, busy with work I presumed, stopped typing as soon as I walked in.

"Hi, mom." I reached the coffee machine and poured myself a cup of black coffee and took a sip as I thought about how to answer her about my night. "It was err... Interesting."

"Yeah? As long as you had fun, I'm happy for you."

"You have no idea." I blushed.

"Good news!" Mom dangled my car keys in front of my face. "Your car is outside. They brought it this morning."

"Really? Thank God. I was actually thinking of borrowing your car today. I'm going to dad's, remember?"

The grim that flashed on her face was so small. If I wasn't paying attention, I would have missed it. The small change in the way she took that breath in through her nose, how her Adam's apple bobbed when she subtly swallowed her saliva, the way her finger muscles tightened even if it was just for a second, everything told me mom had taken the news to her heart.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. What time will you be leaving?"

I took a bit longer to answer. The tug and push within myself was tearing me in two. I wanted to go. I had promised Margaret, but then mom who was trying to hide everything she felt with all her might, was in front of me and it was nerve-wracking.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I'll see. Maybe around three? I got a few things I need to take care of before I leave."

"Okay." She bobbed her head. "How is Suzy?"

Crap, I totally forgot about her.

I was out of my chair in a flash as if the seat had caught on fire. With rapid steps to my room, I vaguely answered mom's question over my shoulder with 'she's fine' before I slammed my door shut. I couldn't believe I hadn't even thought about my friend. Not even once.

Five missed calls and three messages. All from her.

Crap!

'Amelia, where the hell are you? I'm gonna kill you when I find you!'

'Oh! Logan just texted me that he drove you home?'

'Logan drove you home? WHAT THE HELL? I expect you to give me all the juicy details later. I didn't even know he was at the club? Well, I'm still here. I met some of my friends, but I will be going home soon. Goodnight, and have fun.'

A small smile graced my lips as I shook my head. Nothing could have told me she was fine than the messages she sent. So, Suzy-like.

'Hey, I'm okay. I'm home now but will be going to my dad's later. Will tell you everything on Monday.'

By the time I was ready to head to dad's, it was half-past three in the afternoon. I said my goodbye's to mom and got into my 2016 black Ractis. Ready for a forty-five minutes' drive to dad's house.

Margaret and I had planned on going to the movies that evening, so I was looking forward to it. She always had an easy-going personality, and because of that, we got along pretty quickly when we first met.

Everything felt pretty normal when I parked my car outside his house. After all, I've been there countless times. His house was like my second home and all was good with everybody. I should have known knowing something and actually seeing it, were two different things and hence would have different impacts.

Before I could knock, the entrance door bursted open, and Margaret came rushing outside with a big smile on her full lips, and hands wide, ready for a hug.

"Amelia, thank God you're here. I haven't seen you in forever."

"Hey, you." I giggled against the side of her soft light-brown hair. "Sorry I took so long, how are you?"

"I'm okay. Bored and missing you, but other than that, all okay."

"That's good," I said. "The part about you being okay, I mean."

She chuckled and turned around, pulling me with her inside the house. "By the way." She turned her head around. "I already know what movie we are going to watch at the cinema later, you gonna love it...I think."

"I'm sure I will, what's it called?"

"It's the Avengers, Infinity War. That's gonna be massive." Her whole face transformed into a huge grin. Turning back around, she called, "Mom, dad, Amelia is here."

"In the kitchen," dad called back.

Everything felt pretty normal when Margaret and I took steps into the kitchen.

Everything was just as normal when Dad dropped the newspaper he was reading on top of his table and bestowed me with his greatest smile, the same smile he gives me every time he sees me.

Every damn thing felt pretty normal when Melisa, dad's wife, turned around with her usual mother-like smile, ready to engulf me into her warm hug.

Before my eyes dropped down to her protruding, obvious pregnancy, every single thing was absolutely freaking normal.

Until it wasn't.

The reality of it all washed over me like a cold basket of water in my face. He truly was expanding his family. He truly was going to be a lot more dedicated to his coming child more than anybody.

I'm not a brat. I'm not. My mother raised me better than that. She taught me ways in which a lady needs to behave, and how to take things, and how to think over everything, and how things are supposed to be, but her teachings could not prepare me for the reality of everything in my face. I was gonna lose my dad all over again just like I lost him all those years ago.

"Amelia dear. Are you okay?"

I wasn't sure who said that. My eyes, my ears, all my senses were solely stuck staring at one thing. Her stomach. What was she, four months pregnant? When I heard about that from Margaret, I thought she was maybe one month.

"I... I'm sorry, I'll be in my room," I said and turned around toward the stairs.

"Wait," dad shot out of his chair. "Amelia, what's wrong?"

Everything. Everything was wrong. When I turned back to dad, I didn't plan on sounding so malice. I didn't plan on my face to show exactly what I was feeling but it did.

"Thanks for telling me about her pregnancy, Dad," I spat, and without waiting to see the impact of my words on his face, I walked away up the stairs and into my room. I didn't want to react like that and the moment I closed the door behind me and lay on top of my bed, I regretted reacting like that. It was stupid, childish, and I wasn't a child.

I knew who it was when the door to my room slowly opened. I knew who it was that sat beside me when the bed dipped to accommodate the extra weight, and I knew who it was when she laid down with me but didn't say a single word.

Margaret had always been like that. Caring and compassionate. I would have bet ten bucks she wasn't going to say anything if I wasn't the first one to break the silence.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I think I understand what you must have felt."

"It's just..." I took a long pause. "Do you want to change the subject?"

"Gladly," she said. "So, what's been going on with you? Anything new and exciting?"

See, her question was very innocent. I knew that. But still, I couldn't help the blush that crept on my cheeks. Something new and exciting did happen alright. All ten, maybe twenty minutes of it.

"Jesus, Amelia, are you blushing?" she raised her brows. "Looks like something new and exciting did happen to you."

She had no idea.

"I um...well, I kissed somebody."

The long pause that followed was pregnant, to say the least. The thing about Margaret and I was we were similar in many ways. First and for most, our lack of interest in boy department. Well, until recently, for my case, which is why I understood her surprise. I abandoned her. In a manner of speaking.

"Wow," she finally uttered. "That is new, that's...you wanna...I don't know, talk about it?"

Apart from Suzy, Margaret was the only other girl that I could actually talk to about stuff like this, so of course, I talked to her about it.

"His name is Logan." I paused and sat up. "I think it was bound to happen the way he and I had a back and forth relation. If you can even call it that." I pause again as I searched for a word that would sum up who Logan was. "Mysterious," I said. "In fact, he's still a big mystery to me."

Margaret sat up as well, causing me to halt my Logan delineation.

"Anyway, one thing led to another, and I was at his house yesterday, and we kissed. Now, I'm just so confused, and I don't know what to think."

"Well, what did he say after the-" she moved her hands around. "You know, the kiss?"

"Nothing." I threw my hands up. "Absolutely nothing. See, that's Logan. He's really not easy to read. But he kissed me back," I clarified with my finger up. "Boy, did he kiss me back. Of course, that is until he silently drove me back home."

"Wait, let me see if I get this straight," she said and sat up straighter. "So, you initiated the kiss?"

"Err..." I realized how that must look like to her. "He hinted on it. It was written all over his face that he wanted to kiss me. But because he was taking too long to do it, I kissed him first. And anyway, I'm sure he would have kissed me even if I wouldn't have been the one to start."

"Right," she said. "Maybe you should ask yourself this, do you like him?"

Wasn't that the question of the century.

"I don't know. But I don't think I would go around kissing people without feeling something for them."

"So, then what's the problem? Talk to him, maybe he feels something for you."

"The problem is Charlotte! God, I shouldn't have kissed him. That was a mistake." I brought my hands against my temple and massaged. "The girl was pretty clear that he belonged to her. This is all so messed up. And what am I supposed to do on Monday? He will be there. I'll be there, and Charlotte will definitely be there. Not to mention, she probably already knows what I did."

"Don't be ridiculous, how could she know?"

I looked at her, she was right. How could she know? I was just being crazy.

"So, this Charlotte girl, is she his girlfriend?"

"That's what she told me." I got up from the bed and walked to the window. "According to her, I should stay the hell away from him."

"Have you ever seen them together?"

I thought about that for a minute then turned around to look at my half sister.

"Only once. She was talking to him."

"Only talking? Then ask him. Find out. Maybe she's just his ex?"

"She didn't say Ex when she confronted me. She said he was hers. As in, they are together. Present tense."

"Mmh," she placed her hand under her chin like she was deep in a though. "I bet all my money on a possessive freak, Ex-girlfriend."

The seriousness in her tone was what got both of us to bend over and laugh at her remark. Possessive or not, I couldn't help but hope she was just that. An ex.

"I'm sure it's gonna be okay," Margaret said once the laughter died down. "Now, come on, let's get ready to go to the movies. It's almost time."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Movies will definitely take my mind off things. Let's go."

I was wrong to think movies would be a big distraction.