By the time I opened my eyes, I realized my little nap wasn't that little after all. I look at my watch and sigh, Vlad is about to make an appearance, any second from now.

— Ju' !

I don't really like that nickname.

— What, again ?

— I got a new Mone Fumber !

— It's PHONE NUM- you know what ? Just say number. What's her name ? I asked the most calmly possible, trying to hide my joy about getting rid of his bald rat face.

— Axella. Don't you think it's pretty ? She doesn't like it !

— Well, to make up for it, you'll have to like it twice as much.

Sometimes, I impress myself with the philosophical phrases I can come up with. 

— I mean, I do like it.

I feel like the word "like" is being overused. I know I just used it, but that only proves my point.

— Well, it's a wrap, soulmate found, time to say goodbye !

I was getting slowly but surely away when he grabbed my arm. Okay, maybe I got a little bit too enthusiastic.

— So... What's the plan ?

— What plan ?

— What do I do ?

— Do what ?

— Well, what do I do next ?

— What do you... Goddammit you're supposed to be over 2000 years old and you don't even know how to "get girls" ?

Gosh I hate that expression. I don't know why I used it.

— Our deal was that you shall be free, once I would find my soulmate. Nothing proves it's her ! So, you stay.

— You love her, don't you ?

— I never felt true love before ! How could I know ?

— Do you feel good when you're around her ?

— It doesn't mean anything, I feel good around Augustus but-

— How can you be sure of your heterosexuality, Mister homophobic ?

— I'm not- Okay, I see what you're trying to do.

— What ?

— You're buying time, or trying to confuse me. Or both.

— Both is good.

— You mean the word "Both" sounds good ?

— It's from a movie.

— A movie ?

— I refuse to believe you're not only pretending to be this clueless.

— I don't like what you're implying.

— You understood I implied something. That's a start.

— Are you mocking me ?

— Oh my God, could you be the reincarnation of Albert Einstein ?

— Don't be silly. How could I possibly be the reincarnation of a guy born after I was ? Besides, he also died before me.

— Then he is your reincarnation.

— I'm not even dead !

— That's what you think ! That's what they all think. You know what they say, when a person dies, that person sees their dearest memories. Nothing proves that you're not  currently watching the so-called "Movie of your Life" right now. Also, maybe the soulmate you're so actively searching is at this very second holding your hand, in hope you'd suffer a little less.

— You're definitely trying to confuse me and it most definitely works.

— My bad. I sigh in a theatrical way then burst off laughing Okay, I'mma help you seduce your Lady Vamperina.

— I don't know if it's a Vampire Lady, I don't think she is, though. Also, what made you think she's Spanish ?

— I don't care, that's just how I call her in my mind.

— But-

— Her name ? I asked with no warning.

— Axella, I just told you.

— Age ? I carried on, ignoring him.

— 17, maybe ? But I-

— Hair color ? I don't wanna hear him whining.

— Redhead but what-

— Eyes ? I slightly yawned.

— Round and brown but I don't really-

— Astrological sign ?

Seriously, round ? Was he expecting some kind of feline ?

— What the fuck is that ?

— A-HA ! I suddenly yelled, pointing him with my finger.

— What do you mean, «A-HA» ?

I wish I could be gone in a day or two.

— You don't know everything about this girl.

— Of course, we met yesterday !

— Have you talked ?

— How else do you think she gave me her number ?

He said it right !

— Yeah, I guess if she gave it to you, then she likes you, but that's not all ! You need to talk, multiple times. You know, getting to know each other and stuff.

— You're still supposed to teach me... the basics. That was our deal.

— I know. Even though I don't have any experience in any of that, I'll council you.

— Great ! I'm not sure if he missed a part of what I just said or ignored it So, what do I do ?

— You mean right now ? I'm sure you've got homework, do them. I'm tired. I declare today's lesson over.

— There was a lesson today ?

— What do you think it is, when you ask questions about stuff and I answer with what I know ? I also need rest, ya know !

— Highschool human maths are complicated to say the least...

— I regret... Absolutely nothing but I'm only in middle school bro, don't count on me to help you. Pun not intended because I'm a genius.

— I wasn't counting you at all ! I'm attentive in class.

— Fantastic, you want a medal ?

— Stop bluffing, I know you don't have one.

— You really need to start identifying sarcasm. Well, I'm off to my room ! I said once again in a theatrical way, before, for once, going exactly where I said I was headed to. 

Right on schedule ! I ate what Max brought me then went to the bathroom to make sure whatever I tossed into the toilet didn't jump back in.

For some reason I kept my deal with Max a secret, so I'm still getting the... Vampire leftovers. Maybe I should just tell them ?

Well, I don't know how could their reaction be, maybe they'd be offended that some guy's been sneaking past them for weeks now, besides, they're still vampires so... Let's not... You know... Tempt the devil.

Back in my room I lay down on the bed, earphones solidly in ears and close my eyes to feel Carlos Santana's guitar Solo. I love that guy !

As always when I'm listening to music, I'm getting lost in my thoughts. This time I somehow found myself thinking about middle school.  Should I go back to it ?

Max told me the one I used to go to isn't closed, but I missed so much it would be such a drag to try and catch up. Also, I have my coach duties now, enough work !

And that's how, after an internal debate, we unanimously voted for a sabbatical year.