The cover is very basic and nothing particularly eye-catching. It isn't bad but there is a lot of empty space a no wow-factor. I would suggest checking out a good graphic shop to have a cover made that stands out. I can recommend a few if you'd like ^-^

Points for this section - 2/5

I love this description so much! It doesn't give too much away about the story but gives the reader a good idea about what they are diving into if they decide to read your story. It is a very unique description but I love the way you've done it like an acceptance letter to the school. It's just really cool!

Points for this section - 5/5

As there are three of you writing this story, I will @ the writer(s) I am specifically talking about for that part. (this will go for the other sections too) Although I have put you all into your own little sections, I suggest you read the sections for each of you as some of the issues I raised do overlap between the three you.

For xejwdx:

The style is nice and simple. It is easy to read and flows nicely, however, there is room for small improvements. For example, adding some more description at times to liven it up. For example, "Emett hit Caden's arm." This could be elaborated on a little more to be something like: "With a playful smile, Emett hit Caden's arm." This is just an example I came up with in a few seconds so it isn't that great but you get the point.

Following on from my last point, some of the story flows really well and coveys the emotion to the reader. However, some parts are duller and a little as though we are being told what is happening from a bullet point list. This issue is small and not too distracting or apparent, but it is still there at times.

For chickenmonC:

The way you write is nice and generally flows pretty well but there are a few sentences that could have been worded better. Not that this is a big issue, just something that can be dealt with during editing. 

There are also a few points that could have some more description as they seem more like the events happening are being listed out in a "He did this and then he did that and then he..." kinda way. Description is one of the things that makes a story interesting and is a very important factor to consider when writing as you want to keep your readers engaged rather than boring them. Even if not all that much is happening in that moment, such as when Rayden goes through the portal and arrives at the school, there should be description to carry the plot along smoothly.

For _thisbxtch_:

Your style isn't bad and most of the issues I have to pick out are to do with technicality but, as they affect the style so much, I will talk about them here. 

Firstly, as with the other writers of this story, I believe that you too could do with some more description in your writing. For a story to be interesting to read, there needs to be a good amount of descriptive writing to keep readers invested in what is going on.

Secondly, when you write dialogue, you seem to continue onto the dialogue tag without using a capital letter. Only when an action (not a dialogue tag) comes in the middle of the dialogue, should the first letter be in lowercase. Every other time, there should always be a capital letter. If you would like some help formatting your dialogue, please check out this website: https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-format-dialogue-in-your-novel-or-short-story#how-to-format-dialogue-in-a-story

Points for this section - 6/10

The plot is interesting and, although I have not read a lot of the story, it is coming along nicely. It definitely intrigued me as I was reading. It will be fun to see where the story is going and how the characters interact as they get to know one another.

Points for this section - 13/15

For xejwdx:

There are a few errors here and there. For example, in the sentence "He'd waited sixteen years for this day and it'd finally had come." If you remove the contractions it would be read as: "He had waited sixteen years for this day and it had finally had come." Basically, what I'm saying is it's the small things that you need to revise and edit through. In this case, you need to remove the "had" after "finally".

As for grammar, there are a few small mistakes. Most notably, in the dialogue. When the dialogue is followed by a dialogue tag (i.e. he/she/they said, yelled, cried, etc) it should end with a comma rather than a period. 

For example: "What a bitch." He muttered.
This should be: "What a bitch," He muttered.

For chickenmonC:

There are a few small mistakes here and there but nothing major. Although, there is the occasional shift in the tense used, some of the words are past tense and others are used with the present tense. When it comes to grammar as a whole, most of the issues are with misplaced or missing commas.

For _thisbxtch_:

Your grammar is generally alright but there are a few mistakes here and there, most notably with the dialogue. As for technicality, I already covered most of it in your writing style segment, most of it has to do with the capitals and a few mistakes here and there that should be picked up on pretty easily when editing through. 

Another little thing I wanted to mention for you is that your paragraphs are separated weirdly. By this I mean they seem to be in chunks where each chunk has a couple of paragraphs in it that haven't been separated by a full line space. I don't know if this was intentional or due to copying the text over from another app that you were writing on (i.e. word, docs, etc). 

Points for this section - 6/10

The story as a whole is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. The dynamics were good and the characters were interesting. As for the pov switches, they were perfect! I love how one character simply bumping into another for a split second could switch the whole pov over so smoothly without any confusion.

There are, of course, the issues I raised in other sections of this review but overall I think the story has great potential. It just needs tidying up and lots of revision to make it a little less rough around the edges. Reading it how it is now seems as though this is the first or second draft. I would love to come back to it after revision and editing have taken place to see it develop and transform into something that seems more completed as a whole.

Finally, I want to wish you all luck with this story. Three brains will always be better than one and I have no doubt that you will be able to grow and support each other well!

Overall Score - 32/45