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There's a book I'm keep-

Ing deep in my heart.

I touch the pages

But never start

To read through the words,

Images they make

I don't want to see,

Don't want to remake,

To form in my mind

And live through once more;

I've tossed out the key

That opened that door.

I try to move on;

I try to forget,

To never go back,

Be stronger than it,

The pull of my soul

To evil it fears,

The questions I brew

That draw me to near

That book that I fear,

The past tucked away,

Not written but held

In words I can't say

That still hold me back

From all that I dream,

'Cause I can't move on,

Can't break myself free,

Can't cut off the string

And how I'm compelled

To run right to it,

The shadow I tell

Myself to avoid.

It enraptures me.

So scared by the truth,

I simply must see

Just where it will lead,

Although I know well;

The sky has gone red;

I'm running towards hell

Somewhere down that road,

Past gates I lock now,

But when I've returned,

I never have plowed

My way through the guards

I never did place,

'Cause I left a way

Open, just in case

I wanted once more

To pleasure in sin

I know will wreck me

Before I begin,

And still I engage;

I'm desperate for joy;

I'm desperate for life,

Desperate for the ploy

That brightens my night

For only a flash

Of time that I clutch,

Mistakes made in rash

Choices I don't think

Through in the moment.

I know it's a ploy;

The pain, I own it,

Accept it as fate,

Consequence deserved,

A trick requested,

A scam that I serve

Myself on a plate

In royal fanfare.

I'm a criminal,

And all who will care

Are my ambitions;

Yes, forgotten dreams,

And am I ambitious?

If all that I can seem

To do is pull away

From challenges I deem

Too large for me to scale,

Yes, even in my dreams.

I dreamed of mountaintops,

Not the valleys below;

I never realized

Just how slow is the go-

Ing to climb every hill

That stands in your way

And won't ever move,

No matter the games

You play to cheat life

And morality,

As if it's not seen,

That identity

You've built for yourself;

It's only for you,

And though no one knows,

It's still plain and true

And truer than lies

You've built in your mind,

Truer than wishes

You're looking to find

But not pursuing;

You wait at that door;

You're in and you're out;

You're waiting for more

Of life to make sense,

And it never does.

You can't wait for life;

It won't wait for us.

Ambitions will fade;

Ambitions will die,

While you rot your brain,

Basking in the lies

You've told to yourself

About who you are

And what you can do,

The farthest of stars

You could ever reach,

But you want much more;

You yearn for the world;

It burns deep in your

Soul that you silence,

Suffocate in pride,

Pride reeking out from

That book that I hide

With all my secrets

I don't wish to share;

I don't want to know

And see that they're there

Because I'm ashamed

And angry at me,

At all my failures,

At who I can be

When I lose my will

To fight for the dreams

I crave deep inside,

Far beyond the teem-

Ing insects of sin

That feed off of me,

All the ambition,

That I've left to be

Rotting over time;

It's blocked by my fears,

The sight I now see

And inch to draw near-

Er to the regret;

I face it head on,

As if with my eyes,

I'll make it be gone,

And I know it will

Forever remain;

The time has been lost

And can't be reclaimed,

But dreams will stay dreams

If I never move.

My aching bones scream

At me to just do,

To get up and do,

To shoulder the doubt,

To jump of the edge,

To blaze a new route

For futures I crave

With courage brand new,

And someday I'll be

Ready to read through

The words that I keep

And once couldn't face;

I'll seal up that door

But open a space

To work through the past

That brought me to here,

That brought me to life

Through all the unclear

Obstacles I braved

And no longer fear.

The past has gone dark;

The future is clear,

And with this bold step,

It begins today,

And no old secret

Will stand in my way.

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Regret can be a massive hurdle to ambition, especially when we're focusing on all the time we believe we've wasted. The truth is, though, that we all waste time, all of us. We're all guilty of it, and we'll continue to be guilty of it, but it's not a sin. It's not. And, it doesn't have to stop us from making the most of the present. Worrying about wasting time is still wasting time, isn't it? So, let's seize this moment, this day, to get one step closer to every ambition we've ever envisioned as reality <3