streaks of light gray hair invaded the areas of my sheets,
those pure white sheets that used to be littered with
y o u r
blond.

porcelain skin next to mine,
easy to crack,
break,
and dispose.

i felt hideous.

but i kept him,
because i needed that affection,
and i knew that he would give it to me.

he captured me into his warmth,
holding me,
telling me that
"it's okay to use me.
because i'll always be here."

my eyes couldn't even cry,
because i was jaded by that crystal which shone for me alone,
that crystal which i used in replacement of my diamond covered in dust,
and i held onto it,
because i was
greedy.

i could call him "koushi" now he said,
and i thought,
that's just as beautiful as
kei.

all i could think of was
"hey kei, look at me now," but i never felt an ounce like enamel,
because koushi was the only one that was.