Harley

(Present)

"You nervous?"

Sam simply shakes his head and tries to flash a smile towards me. There's something on his face that tells me there is something going on but I can't point it out. I'd assumed it was probably because of the stress the Debut was putting him under since he's got one of the major positions, but I don't think it is anymore. Nevertheless, I decide not to push it.

"You look nervous," I say. "It'll be okay. You've all like rehearsed this a million times and the routine is as perfect as it can get."

He hums. "You know, I'm worried about Remi."

"Remi?" I honestly don't know why he's worried about that irrelevant piece of shit. "Why the fuck are you worried about him of all people?"

"No, it's not exactly about him. It's more like—because of him." I raise my brows, prompting him to continue. He lets out a breath. "I mean, you know, like, uh, what if he does something to sabotage everything? You know he could do that, don't you? He's got a few screws lose in his head."

"Nah, Remi isn't gonna go that far. I don't think he will. As much as he hates all the other dance students, he needs to come up the ranks and he needs not to ruin the performance for that. He might be an asshole but he's still not dumb."

Sam bites his lip for a moment, then exhales. "I mean—" he breathes in. "Yeah. You're right. But you know, it's just a gut feeling, alright?"

"That Remi's gonna do something?"

"That something's gonna go wrong."

I'm about to say something to tell him that everything's going to be alright even though I doubt it myself, three new people pop up right behind us, joining in on the conversation. They're all in identical constumes, their make up and hair done as immacutely as possible.

Rhea's the first one to speak. "What's gonna go wrong?" She keeps her arm across my shoulder, leaning on to me while looking at Sam. "What are you guys talking about?"

"It's nothing," Sam says. "I'm just nervous."

"So am I," Rhea says with a smile. "But you know what they say, don't you? Fake it till you make it!" The cheerfulness in her voice is what makes me what to push her away because she's literally screeching in my ears at this point. Luckily, she's one of the people I can genuinely tolerate.

"Fake it till you make it, my ass," Freva mutters. "Do you know the last time I was this scared?"

I expect her to continue but she doesn't, letting the question hang. "When?" Sam asks, unsure.

"Don't ask me. I don't know either." She lets her hand reach up to her hair and then clicks her tongue, remembering that she can't ruin her hair now. "Ugh, the costumes are so annoying. The make up is so annoying. Everything is so annoying. The last thing I need now is a fucking mess up during the performance."

"Jeez, chill," Rhea laughs. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"I don't know, music mix up. Formation mess up. Lighting mess up. Wardrobe malfunction." Freva's eyes go wide. "Oh my god. What if there's a goddamn wardrobe malfunction?"

Rhea rolls her eyes and stands straight, adjusting her fit. "There's too much negativity here. I don't want to be in the same room as this girl before a performance ever again." She turns to me. "Harley, make sure that your hand's alright next time or I'll murder you."

Line, who'd been quiet all this while, finally speaks up. "I really wanted Harley to perform this time." She looks dead into my eyes. Normally, if someone did this, I'd get shivers. Everyone at Redville is so competitive that there's always some hatred and boldness in their eyes. But Line? She's calm. She's calmer than most people around us. She's not exactly likeable but I've got nothing bad to say about her.

"Me?" I ask.

"Yeah." She smiles. "I don't know. I think you could've performed with the third years and still be the star of the show."

"Please," Rhea mutters. "She'll always be the star of the show. She's the kind of person everyone would talk about."

"They already do," Sam adds in.

"You shouldn't be having this conversation in front of me." I shrug.

"Not used to all this praise, are we?" Rhea winks. I smile. She's right, of course. Even if I know I'm one of the best here, I'll still never get used to all the compliments I get. They seem unnatural, as if they're talking about someone else. Not me.

"Come on, Harley's a great dancer but can we please not talk about her right before the performance? I'm getting scared now." Freva throws an apologetic look towards me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in a mean mean way. It just came out that way. Oh my god. What am I saying?"

I laugh. "It's nothing. We get you."

"Yeah, we do," Rhea says.

Freva just smiles. She's so outgoing and chill when she's not backstage that I'm genuinely surprised how scared she is to perform in the debut. I mean, it's natural since it's her first performance as a part of Redville Dance Team.

"Alright, first years, Val's asking for you all. You're up in ten," Park says in a loud voice as he enters the area, looking around. His eyes scan the room and stop at me. He flashes a small smile my way. "Harley, Val's asked you to be out in the audience."

I press my lips together. "Alright." I let out a sigh and walk towards Park, stopping once. I turn to face everyone in the room and say, "Good luck," before walking out. Park follows, asking me to stop for a second.

"Find Asher in the audience, yeah?" he says. "He's with Eastview dance team right now. They're watching the performance. Val's asked you to be with them throughout. Think you can manage that?"

"Why do I have to be with them?" I ask even though I already know the answer to that.

Park shrugs. "I don't understand Val half the time. But yeah, you do what she says. She might seem cool but she does get a little pissed when things don't go her way. Sometimes."

I laugh at the way he puts emphasis on 'sometimes'. He pats me on the shoulder once before turning away and walking back inside. I put my hands in my pocket and whistle, exiting the backstage area and into the hallway where people still stand, ready to enter the auditorium.

***

It takes me five minutes to pinpoint where Asher is even when he texted me three times. I'd have called but there are too many people around for that. When I find him, he smiles at me. It's his signature, amused smile which I'm convinced is only reserved for me.

"Harley!" he calls out with a light wave. "Here!"

There's no one from his friend group around him but there are a few familiar faces—faces I've seen on the television and recordings. They're famous as well, one of the biggest competitors of Redville. Right now, they're led by Malcom Jones, a third year student. I should've known he's on friendly terms with Asher. Of course he is, Asher knows everyone.

"This is Malcolm Jones," Asher says. "And Malcolm, this is Harley."

"Kingsley?" Malcolm asks. He extends his hand to me and I take it, shaking it firmly once. "Damn. Man. The miracle kid. Heard you beat Asher in scores. That's some queen shit right there. This egoistic son of a bitch deserved that whooping." He leans forward, a playful smile on his lips. "If he ever bothers you, you know where to come."

"I won't bother her, you dumb piece of shit," Asher mutters. "I've got better things to do."

"Come on, Ash," says another guy. "We all know you get yourself obsessed with someone new every damn month. Is she your toy of the month?"

"Careful, Trent. Watch what you say," Asher warns. He turns to me, throwing an apologetic look my way. "Anyways, this guy here is Garett Trent." The guy who called me Asher's toy of the month waves with a smile. "He's a third year."

"Then there's Renny. Another one of the third years." He points towards a guy with long hair tied up in a pony, wearing a peach coloured shirt as he leans against the wall. He simply nods in greeting and I'm left there to awkwardly take in all the introductions. "I think that's it for the third years here. Where are the others?"

"Maude and Isabel aren't in the dorms right now. Pluto's got some extra classes 'cause he failed in five of his subjects. Crimson isn't in town. I don't really think you care about others."

"I don't," Asher says. "Uh, that's Maggie, and that's Yuen. There's Camran. Second years in the core team." The two girls greet me with smiles. Camran stands there, busy on his phone. Next to him stands a guy whose gaze is set on me from the moment I've arrived here.

"And that's Archer."

I've seen him before.

"The only first year on the core Eastview dance team."

If he's the only first year on the core dance team, then he's got to be good. I know he is, not because I've seen him dance before, but I remember him from a couple months ago when I was here for the practical entrance dance performance. I remember his name from the ranking charts—he was just one rank away from being admitted into Redville.

This guy got Eastview? That's impressive.

"Nice to meet you," I say to him because all he does is keep staring at me. It takes a second for him to take in that I said something because a moment later, he clears his throat and nods. He runs a hand through his dark hair and looks away from me, eyes on the stage.

"So, you're not performing in the debut," the girl with coloured hair, Yuen, says. "Why so?"

"Injury," Asher says before I can.

"Injury?" Maggie asks. "How'd you get injured?"

"It was an old injury she didn't give time to heal. You know dancers. They're all over workers."

"She's just like Crimson, then. Woman lets her feet twist five times a week," Malcolm laughs. "But, on a serious note, must suck, really. It's your debut. And you're missing that. Shit, even I wanted to see how good you were. You know, I won't believe what they say till I've seen it myself. Lily and Summer are alright. I've seen them dance and they somehow do meet the expectations. But for you to have a competition in the first year? On the same level as us? That's kinda impressive. But I've never heard of you. Never. You hear someone's name if they're that good. You just came out of nowhere."

"Nah, she really is good," Asher says with a laugh.

"Is she?" Malcolm prods. "Because you know, Redville's all talk. Maybe this toy of yours is one, too. She might not be as good a dancer as she is in academics. Maybe she's just average but Redville's level dropped so low that they find it amazing now?"

"You—"

"Asher, I really can speak on my own, you know," I say, annoyed. I really didn't want to step in this but Asher answering to everything they're saying to me is really annoying the hell out me. His gaze falls on me and he scoffs, shrugging as he slips his hands in his pockets. I look at Malcolm with a clear, honeyed smile. "I'm not the best, you know. I know that."

He tries not to smile. The crowd starts to get louder in the background and I know the performance is going to start in just a minute because of the change in lighting and the presence of the announcer on stage.

"But I've seen you dance," I say to him, "and if there's one thing that I know, it's this."

"Ladies and Gentlemen..."

"If it ever comes down to you and I competing, I'd beat you on a whim."

The way his face drops, I know he heard me clearly even though the others didn't. I turn away from him. I don't give a shit about what he wants to say anymore. I've seen what I have to, what Val wanted me to see.

"Please welcome the newest addition to the Redville Dance Family—the first years of Redville School of Arts!"

***

Count from one to eight to calm yourself down.

Take a deep breath.

Open your eyes.

Those are the steps she'd always followed right before a performance. It was a ritual to her. It always had been since the time she had first set her steps on a stage. It always made her feel better—always gave her time to focus on what she had to do instead of what would happen. If she messed up, it's fine. It'll be fine, because mistakes are a part of the process, aren't they? She'd learn from them, like she always did.

The music plays at the same moment when she is done counting. She takes in a deep breath, zoning out, putting all her attention on the music. She makes her entry along with the others, her steps clear and precise and in sync with all the other first years she'd hated at first. She remembered the way she didn't like the group of ten during the first evaluation. She remembered the way she'd complained to Val, the way ranted about how dumb they all were to her roommate.

Now that a month had passed, she'd learnt things. It was crazy how much things changed in just a little while. Maybe this was how her school like was going to go in Redville. Maybe she'll be able to climb up to the top just by—

A tear.

Her eyes fly wide in alarm and she became away of the way the strap of her costume now hung loose, exposing the skin of her shoulder. It wasn't much—she doubted anyone could see it from the audience but that one second when the cold air touches her bare skin, she shivers.

That's when she knows she messed up. She is a beat behind the others now, her mind racing and panicking, wondering just how she can catch up with the others. She thinks about the number of points she would lose for disturbing the sync of the performance. Even if the people don't notice the cause for this, they definitely won't be able to ignore the way she was performing right now.

The dancers around her notice this as well but they can't do anything about it. If they slow down for her, it would cause trouble. It is up to her to catch up now and she tries— tries her best to match her beat with the others.

The performance ends fifteen seconds later.

She fails to catch up.

Her stomach twists in dread as she bows with the others, her eyes watering.

She failed.

***

"Something went wrong, didn't it?" Asher whispers in my ear.

I nod lightly, my eyes on the performers as they exit the stage. "Julia's strap fell."

"What?" There's slight disbelief in his voice. Of course there will be. He's a fashion student. A third year fashion student. It's his responsibility to check if the costumes remain intact.

"A wardrobe malfunction."

The moment the words escape my mouth, I feel someone tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see that it's one of the film students assisting in the lightings. I've seen her around with Reece sometimes. There's a slight worried expression etched upon her face. No doubt she was with Val right now, because Val has her way of wording things that would cause anxiety over people who aren't even a part of the program.

She leans towards me since the crowd and the cheers would make it impossible for me to hear anything she would say normally.

"Val and Andy's calling the two of you backstage," she says. "You and Ash."

I exhale. I give her a tight smile before tugging at Asher's sleeve, gesturing him to follow me. He does so without question. We excuse ourselves from the Eastview team and let the film student lead us through the crowd. The announcer begins to announce the next performance being done by a second year acapella team.

The girl points towards the first year dressing room. I nod and watch her leave, then turn to face Asher. He's the one who knocks on the door.

"Come in," Val's stiff voice reaches her. God, she's pissed alright.

He opens the door and enters. I follow.

My eyes fall on the people in the room. Val's here. Andy's got his arms folded as Cressida, the assistant fashion instructor leans over Julia's shoulder, assessing the tear. All the first year dance students are here. Sam flashes a quick smile to me. Some of the first and second year fashion students are here too. All of them look worried, especially Rhett. I begin to wonder why and that's when I remember a few words from the diary.

He got his score deducted. Because of a wardrobe malfunction. It was a wardrobe malfunction for fuck's sake. How does that make any sense at all?

I let the realisation hit me. I look over at the fashion students, about how the highest ranking students of the fashion department of each here stand here. One of them are going to be responsible for that. One of them are going to get their marks deducted. One of them are going to fall down the ranks.

I close my eyes for a second. Frustration takes over me as I glance at Asher's face. He looks so calm. He looks so relaxed. He looks like he knows nothing is going to happen to him. He is good at masking his emotions usually, but not when it comes to falling down the ranks. Not when the scores of the top ten people are so close to each other.

He doesn't have anything to lose, does he?

It takes Cressida five minutes to figure out what's wrong. When it's done, she lets out a sigh. "It could've been prevented, " she says. "It's on Julia's notes that the upper half of her costume is rather tight. The improvement box has been checked by Rhett Carter. It doesn't seem like there has been any alteration, though."

"I signed in front of every name who costume I was responsible for," Rhett says, stepping forward. "I altered each of those costumes."

"Was Julia's costume one of them?" Val asks, raising her brow. The atmosphere in the room tense. It's so quiet that it's hard to believe people are actually breathing. Outside, the acapella starts to sing. It's a calm, song tune they're building up, unlike the unease spread amongst everyone in the room.

"I–I don't know. It should've been if I've signed–"

"If you've signed, then that means that you were done fixing it up?"

"Yes, but–"

"No buts, Mr Carter," Val says sharply. "Because of your showcase, the whole debut of these kids has been jeaopardized. Do you realise how hard these students have worked? Do you have any idea how many show offers these children might miss on because of this one mistake? A wardrobe malfunction distracts the performer. A first year student does not know how to deal with these distractions. Do you realise just how bad you've fucked up?"

"Language, Miss Val," Cressida snaps. "It was a mistake. It has happened before. Rhett will receive a penalty for it, of course, but you cannot continue to shame a fellow first year." She has an accent. An English accent.

Val takes in a deep breath. "It has happened before. Just not with first years. What would you have done if it wasn't just the shoulder strap that fell?"

I didn't know the room could get any quieter until it does. Everyone is either looking at Rhett or Val. Rhett looks like he is already swallowed in his guilt. Asher remains just as calm next to me.

"Aren't the seniors supposed to at least check if all the alterations are done and none of them are missing?" Andy points out, his gaze moving from the second years to Asher. "Weren't you all monitoring everything the first years did? Weren't you, Asher?"

Asher sighs. "It's kind of hard to keep track of all the costumes. The responsibility of looking after the first year costumes was not mine. As usual, the responsibility lies upon the year representative and the person assigned to monitor them. I can assure you, Andy, that I wasn't assigned to do so."

"Then who was?" Val asks.

Asher's gaze fall upon one of the second years. The girl is short and she's staring right back at him, a panicked expression on her face. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and there's eye bags under her eyes. She looks clearly overworked. "Noorah. You were the one assigned to do so, right?"

The girl, Noorah, looks away and presses her lips together.

"Noorah," Cressida says. "Right. Yes. Did you crosscheck every single costume altered for the dance students?"

"Y–yes, I did." Her voice is small. Timid. Guilty. Her body language tells me she isn't confident enough. Confidence is one thing you need in order to not be the student on whom the others step over. She looks like she has been stepped over multiple times. Even if she isn't responsible for this, she is the one who is going to be at a loss once again. "But I might've–I don't know–"

"Are you saying you aren't sure if you crosschecked Julia's costume?" Val looks like she could strangle someone. She might be cool most of the time but at times like this, she can be the scariest person in the entire universe. The diary said so, too. "That's–that's careless."

"I'm sorry–"

"Shut up for a second, Noorah, it's alright. We'll talk about it later." Cressida's gaze falls on Rhett. "Rhett, I want you in my office, too. Both of you."

Neither of them say anything. Cressida lets out a sigh. Her and Val exchange a look.

"Miss Val, your students have a lot of performances left. I'll look after it. I'll make sure their score deduction is performed as per the rules. It won't happen again."

The acapella reaches its end outside. We hear a round of applause and know that's time to get this over with. Val presses her eyes shut for a second. When they open, they're on me. "Help the others, Harley. I'll be back after the performance."

She leaves the room and I look at everyone again. Julia is on the verge of tears. Some of the students look like they don't care at all. Some of them look like they don't give a fuck about all of this. And there are some like Remi, finding humour in a situation like this. If I could, I'd punch him in the face right now.

With the situation resolved but the aftereffects still heavy in the air, everyone begins to undo their hair and keep the pins in place. The boys leave the room, making their way to their own dressing room. Asher and the other fashion students leave as well, and I avoid any contact with Julia as her friends gather around and let her cry on their shoulder.

The song keeps on playing outside. I only go out when the third years are done performing and the Chairman is addressing everyone in the room, praising Redville and its new students. I don't go near the Eastview kids again though I catch some of them looking at me throughout the speech.

The debut becomes the talk of every person the entire evening. And later that night, we're all greeted with a notification to check the update in the ranking list. There have been a lot of changes after the performances tonight, but I click on the latest deductions column of the chart.

There are a lot of deductions, but two names stand out with the maximum points removed from their overall score.

Rhett Carter loses 10 points for carelessness in costume check.

Noorah Mahlani loses 20 points for carelessness in overlooking error in costume check.

Two deductions. That's all it takes for the rankings to change their game.