◻Shuddering Shrubs◻

Maybe the qualms I birth will cage you. But you have the key to your freedom, and I respect your desire, my master.
~ OBSCURITIES.
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"Tushant. Are you ready to face the reality?"

His too-formal speech made him nod his head to stutter his strands, which landed up messed on his temples. Little laughs filled the odd silence around.

"If you wouldn't mind me asking..." His concerns pooled in his dim-lit eyes.

"I do not mind silly things. You have made me immune enough."

He whispered in a low voice while his pulsating arms pulled the metallic draw smooth in the sides enough to let it screech less.

"Ahem. May I know your name?"

An array of chaotic gazes flowed from either coast.

"Trying to read me with my name? I don't believe in name-knowing things. What does knowing a name do, after all?" He shuffled some plastic bunches to pull out a thick roll of herbal leaves as his words flowed blandly.

Weird! The name does so many things. Okay, two-three things, at least.

"Alright. You choose to hide your identity. Now how shall I help you... Ahem. Sudden loss of conscience or- Yeah, how should I call or caution you?"

His silenced nods made him restless.

"Jerk."

"Haahaa. Sorry-"

"Jerk or never mind. Easier, right?" He tossed his palms to the sides, making Tushant roll his eyes.

"And haven't you already picked names for me? Spidy, eh?"

"That's rude. You can't pop into my head all day." He opened his arms to let them land in a thud on his thighs.

"Nay, Nah! I can't read you until you let me do. You could have kept your thinking frequency a bit low." 

Stating that, he shook the faded green bundle of serrated leaves and took the alcohol-fueled lighter from the sides. He then lit up the herbal leaves one after the other, making the vapors flee at every possible angle.

"Ah, would you mind if I ask about your safety margin?"

Tushant cast his dubious glares at the whirling thin smokes. His nose flared to cough out the steam.

"Ghoorkk ghrook argrhm ahm. This isn't weed, though. I'm moderate enough if that might help."

"Much of sense. Just some relaxing shrubs, but they are kind of hypnotic."

"What- You should have told me that before lighting them. That's the protocol!" He dragged himself along the seat to the edges.

"Breaking the rules is the key, right?"

"Should you break all the trust as such-" His eyes shuttered faster while his rigid expressions turned him pale.

"Alright, they aren't that hypnotic. Keep calm and stop yelling now."

He is playing! Too mean, not funny. Jerk!

"Hey, hey! Feed-in some sense. Why on earth would I hypnotize you for your sister?"

"Because you play with ghosts."

"What the- Hrgh!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Save it. Catch this now. It might hurt, but can you brief me about your life in short."

"Ahh, my life, or are you asking hers or perhaps ours?"

"Anything at ease." He picked a piece of paper and tickled the back of the glass bead pen.

"We were a happy family. Amma, Appa, me, and Imay."

"Imay?"

"Ah, Kimaya. Our Imay. Everything went the usual. Small fights, a comfortable family, and happy traveling. Greenest memories it were until that one unfortunate incident happened." His eyes glossed with waves of dews layering them.

"You lost your parents in an accident?"

"I wish that truck driver was a bit more careful that night. We would have had a beautiful family. Wish we had some time more!" His hardened words choked in his throat.

"Don't worry, Tushant. They are somewhere between the stars watching you. After all, parents never leave us alone. They forget us."

He held his shaky palm. His concerned eyes hunted down something from his sorrowful, sinking browns.

"How is Kimaya? Was she too broken, or is she still?"

"Not all the voids can be filled. They do resurface to etch the scars. We mourn, and we celebrate everything with them. We never surpass any day without them. Even if the wounds look shallower, they are always there. And will be. Forever."

"The shallow ripples can only mask the cruel depths." He took a jug to pour some water for him.

"Here, Tushant."

"Thanks." He gulped down the water to soothe his desolation while his quaky fingers gripped the glass tight.

"And then..."

"Then? Then what?"

"How does life turn after that?"

"We get shares from my father's loyal partners. We have just this home left to live. My father's funds helped us study. Then I took up some part-time jobs for survival. Life was hard, but good-hearted people helped us. That's the story."

He guzzled the water to relieve his shudders.

"So no one else had been in between?"

His question made him knead his sweat-swept palms.

"Any love life? Any dear person who went missing or something?"

"We have no one else. No relatives had ever turned to us."

"In that sense..."

He rotated his pen between his fingers at a speed that was alarming enough to scare anyone. His brief pause and throbbing brows made Tushant shift his crossed heels.

"Let me ask it straight. Any idea who could be that one?" He held his arms as gently as he could.

"Wh- Whom?" His brows arched to part away from each other.

"Fret not. This might be scary, but the truth is that someone is visiting her."

"What!"

"Yes, she is longed by someone at every dead hour of the night."

Cold shudders clouded his thrilled spine. His pupils widened in every ounce of horrific fear.

"Alright, not so funny. If this is your game part 2.0, then I insist it's better if you stop here. Has anyone ever told you that you are too bland for a human?"

Tushant tried to free himself from his grip, but he couldn't move. Not even an inch.

"Leave me."

"This is the effect, and the cause should be gathered. It's been happening for many years."

His answer made him paler than he was. Sweat beads outlined his jaws to run down his collars, coloring them brown.

"How do you-"

"Because I have been witnessing it."

"What- Then you could have told me."

"Should I knock at your door and greet you to say, Hey neighbor! A ghost is visiting your sister every night. How about some Ohuja board and some exorcism? Worry less it wouldn't cost you many bucks. I'm a bloody parapsychologist and should hold my morals." His fists crammed his thighs, making Tushant gulp down his knotted words.

"I didn't- I shouldn't-"

"You needn't explain anything. I may know certain things. But that doesn't mean I can disclose it all."

"Yeah, right." He bit his lip hard to gulp down the bitter cud. "But- I know I might sound stupid enough. Yet, I have no choice either. Or-" He sipped the breath to relieve the tension on his shoulders.

"Ask it straight. We have to do the direct speech from now on."

"Can you find me? Who could it be?"

"Only if you would tell me all I need."

Even before he could finish his statement, Tushant held his hands tight.

"I don't know how hard it is. I'm just sick of it all. Seek us out of this maze. You will have all my support. Will you?"

"We will sort it together." He wrapped his palms over his sweating fingers.

A gush of betterment made Tushant break his stone-struck creases. When he read his calming demeanor, he relaxed his grip to wither a grin. As the waves of spring rushed swiftly past the walls, an alarming echo caught their attention.

"Pick the call. Someone needs our help."

Looking at the display like a frozen doll, Tushant licked his dried lips.

Why would Indra amma need us now?

~•🔲•🔳•🔲•~

The curtains thrived on dancing with the specks of somber sands. The scent of sweet cymbals brushed against them. Shuddering heads of the tender shrubs birthed a fervor that faded with every ounce it crossed as it entered through slits of the parted windows.

As the rays sang a soliloquy, letting the darkness engulf their little luminaries, her eyes widened with tears.

No more false hopes. No more trust. No more pain.

Her lips quaked with every pelt that heavied her heart.

Everything is a lie; not any good to live!

Her hair perched from every corner to blind her eyes. Some poke her pupils, but the pricks couldn't do much to pick her sinking sanity.

"I shouldn't be born. I'm such a burden!"

She tore her pearl nails tugged with cakes of dust. Tossing the bits to the back, her eyes pooled the tears that could no longer flow on her demand.

This is a part of you!

"Nnn- Arghh- No- Aghh-"

She kept repeating it as her fingers crumpled the paper into a ball. As some whips of wind cornered her strands, her eyes shrunk to a pinhole slit. Her nail-peeled fingers rose in defense as the shield.

Who is that?

The amber flicks of light wavering at the sides caught her attention. She jumped away to the ledge of the cot, clutching the sheets tight enough.

"Leave me! Don't come near."

She shouted as her eyes clasped tight, not to look at what was in front of her.

Look at it not. It's painful. Everything is painful.

"Imay!"

A gravelly tone quaked her crippling thoughts, making her open her eyes. She couldn't see anything but a three-foot-high glaring silhouette peeping at her with his carmine eyes radiating a pleasant shine.

"Please don't scare me anymore. Leave me alone." She hurriedly hid inside the floral sheets.

"How could I when I'm a part of you."

Lie! Lies lie everywhere. It could be nothing less.

"Imay, it's been long since I have been fed. Can you offer me some food?"

She pulled her knees to her chest and embraced herself tightly. She closed every ounce of the gap that could let in some air.

Where is that stupid dog now?

"Ruru? He will not stop me. He knows why I'm here. And this is the right time."

"I need nothing. Leave me!"

"I'm here for a purpose, and why are you shooing me away?"

"I will not listen to you. Just go away!" She exhaled her words and shut down her lids.

"Kraaw. Kraaaw. He is a part of your soul, poor girl. You can't deny-"

"Do not speak! I need no reason. I did nothing wrong. Let me live in peace." She gulped the rioting lumps down her strained throat while the raw tears pecked her pale cheeks.

"Asking me for peace when I am the one who was denied to be born? Stop this nonsense, Imay. You know everything! You know I don't- we don't deserve this. You know it was all his fault."

The crude sighs between his words made her crumple the sheets.

"I know nothing. Leave me!"

"Kraaw. Kraaw. You shouldn't be pushing him away."

The little taps of the hooves made her step back. Her heart pounded heavier while her mind was lost in the vanity of frights and aches.

"Nooo! Hau-ra hau-ra Mawhahdevah!"

A pricking pain made her shudder as she dug the torn, thorny nails into her palms.

"Krawwwh. Kraawwh. Let's go back. A flickering heart is never courageous even to seek the shadow of truth. Krawwwhhh. Kraaw."

She could hear some flapping wings beating the currents. Through the slits of the sheets, she peeked.

The same little man. The same stupid bird. And...

The hypnotizing shine of the slithering cobra made her lids stay taut. In a moment, she felt she had been caught by the clamors of fears ruffling in her blood.

Don't fear. These are lies. All are lies.

Mustering a little strength, she closed her eyes. As she breathed a sigh of relief, a slit-slip whisper sharpened her ears. To her horror, she felt the space around her shrink.

"Har har Mahadeva. Harrah. Harrah. Mahadev-vah!"

She kept reciting it as she opened her eyes slowly. Her wandering eyes widened as she saw a coiling shadow surround her from outside.

"Sto- Stop it!"

She screamed, molding a bit of courage in her. She shed the sheets and ran erratically along the walls. Her eyes kept hunting while her hands traced the things they swept upon. Reaching the farther end, away from the three dubious creatures, she glimpsed everywhere.

Pain brings truth back.

As she concluded it, her eyes landed on a sleek reflection from the corner of the round quadrilateral table five steps away. Running as fast as she could, she grabbed the piece of metal.

Scissors?

"Don't hurt yourself with the worst assumption. You wanted the truth, and I'm here. What intimidates you? Me?"

"I fear nothing. Not even death."

Stating that, she cut her arms to let the drips of blood splash on the floor.

"Haahaa! Hahaha! See. I fear nothing!"

Guttural waves of laughter made her weak while she kept cutting her arms.

Kutty maa!

Kraaaw. Kraaw.

"We don't fear death, Imay. It can't keep us apart."

Those odd phrases fogged her, but she hid her fears between her glued lips. When she steadied her limping spine, an arm-like figure leaped out of the ball of beams.

Kraaw. Kraaaw.

Kutty maa!

As it emerged, she could see the silvery bones and structures form the arm akin to the hand of a man coated in thick white snow.

"What are you-"

Before she could surmise, her lids quivered at sight in front of her.

Why is that hand oozing with the exact wounds as mine?

Her breath felt caught between the undistinguishable pool of memories. She felt lost but not at every edge.

"You are my amaranthine, Imay."

In a moment, her eyes dilated, letting her golden streaks shine.

"And you are mine!"

The phrase faded between her lips as her sweltering vision blurred everything.

"Kutty maa!"

Yet again, things fell apart at once.

FOOTNOTE:

Hara Hara Mahadeva: A Sanskrit phrase meaning that everyone is Lord shiva and he resides everywhere.

Kutty ma: An endearment in Tamil for girls.

Leave your thoughts and comments.

Ever in your memory,
🪢..Yaris..🪢