© Copyright 2011
All work is property of Leah Crichton, any duplication or reproduction of all or part of the work without explicit permission by the author is illegal.

Amaranthine: (am-uh-ran-thin)

eternally beautiful and everlasting

unfading, undying, immortal

As we drove to my house, Orion looked relieved, as if it had been him carrying the weight of the world on his very broad shoulders. It was only my world which rested there now.

“Are you okay?”

“I think I should be asking you that.” He looked at me.

“That was hard,” I said.

“It was hard to watch. Real hard.”

“It’s going to be okay now.”

“I thought you were going to change your mind.”

“I didn’t. I wouldn’t have.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t know what I would have done.”

 Farewells to my mom and Luke were far easier than saying goodbye to our friends and a thousand times easier than saying goodbye to my father.  The knowledge that I was going to see them in such a short amount of time made it bearable. It was like I was going out with a friend. Nothing more. Except my mom was crying. I was worried it was for the pain I was about to inflict on my dad as I left him behind.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Mom?” I was concerned, but I knew after my visit to the hospital, he would be fine.  It would take time and healing, but he was going to be okay. It didn’t lessen the feeling of responsibility for the deep emptiness in my dad’s heart. I knew the emptiness if I stayed would be even vaster, and I knew that in the next life time didn’t matter. Time wasn’t anything at all. My dad would be with us again before we mourned losing him. Before he realized it, we’d all be together again.

“I’m okay. He’ll be fine. Your father is the strongest man I ever knew.” She said it as if she was trying to convince herself of this fact. “Really, sweetheart, I’m happy for you. This new life is going to be better for you. I still believe you’ve made the right choice.” I nodded in a silent understanding.

Luke smiled. “It’ll be fine, I.Q. Try not to worry.”

“I’m not worried.” It was a lie. I was worried. Having been anticipating this for so long, I didn’t allow myself to be scared, but now that it was about to actually happen I was frightened. Orion stood in the background until Luke stepped forward.

“Sorry about how I treated you,” he said.

“No worries. Understandable. You are a good big brother. She’s lucky to have you.”

Luke sighed. “Not really. If I was, I could have protected her from you.”

Orion smirked. “Planning on spending your afterlife trying to fight fate, huh?”

“I guess not,” Luke said, defeated. “But you would have done the same if it was your sister.”

Orion nodded. “Probably. I love her, you know,” he said, as if that may make Luke feel better about it.

“I know. Just wish you didn’t.”

Orion shrugged his shoulders. “She was meant for me. There was nothing you could’ve done to stop it.”

Luke accepted this by offering a handshake. He took it like the man he had grown into—a man who would now, forever like me, be stuck in his youth. 

I hugged them both goodbye. Orion stepped forward and hugged my mother. This pleased her in some strange way, but I knew firsthand what it felt like when Orion held you—like nothing else in the world mattered, like nothing could possibly ever be wrong. Everything was right. His beauty was surreal and everything about him was comforting. “Take care of my little girl,” my mom ordered. 

“She is everything to me. I’ll always take care of her,” he said.

My mom pulled back and waved her hand, like her gesture could somehow erase the tears in her eyes. “I know, I know. Enough of this, now. You two go. We’ll be waiting when you get there,” she said in her best demanding voice. It wasn’t too convincing.

I took Orion’s hand and heading to his car for the last time, preparing to fulfill my destiny. Our destiny. I didn’t know where all of this was going to take place. I was nervous. I didn’t know what it was going to be like, what it would feel like. What would happen when we were truly gone from this place? I sat in the car trying to force the thoughts from my mind, but it was impossible.

“You’re so quiet,” Orion said.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” 

“I’m pretty scared.” 

“There’s nothing to be scared of.”

“Okay, but you have to admit it's a little like drinking the Kool-Aid.”

“Ouch. Harsh.”

“I'm sorry,” I said. “I've never died before.”

This made him laugh. “It’ll be fine. It’ll be good. The best thing I’ve done for you yet.”

“I’m sure.” I rolled my eyes.

We pulled into the lot, the same spot he had first kissed me. I remembered. I remembered lying here in his arms, looking at the stars. My knees were weak as I got out of the car.

Absentmindedly, I walked to the brook and stood in awe of its simple beauty. I hoped what Orion told me was true. I hoped this next place—my final destination—would be as beautiful as this one.  He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “It won’t hurt,” he promised. His voice was soft in my ear.

“But I’m scared.”

“Don’t be afraid. I promised I would never hurt you,” he whispered. His hands traveled up my sides, over my arms to my face. His lips brushed my neck. “Are you ready?”

“No. I’m scared.”

“This is the only way we can be together.”

“I know.” I turned to face him and looked up at his perfect face. This isn’t how I pictured Death.

Gently his fingers ran along my lips, my nose, my jaw; his clear blue eyes burned into mine. “You’re everything to me. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I told him. I did. I loved him so much it hurt.

“You love me, but you need to trust me, too.”

“I trust you,” I insisted. “I’m just afraid. Everything is so-uncertain.”

“Life is uncertain. Death is certain.”

He kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, then my nose. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Of course,” I told him. Now that I had known him, had loved him, I couldn’t have it any other way. I looked at him and took in his face as the sunlight danced across it. He looked like exactly what he was, sent from Heaven for me. He was incredible. He was mine. After this, he would be mine forever, for an eternity. “What’s it going to be like?” I asked him.

“You’re going to feel like you’ve never felt before. I promise, it’s a good thing. There is absolutely nothing for you to be afraid of.”

“Except the unknown,” I repeated, sighing.

“You have to trust me.” He placed my hand on his heart. I could feel it pulsing beneath his chest.

“Will our hearts stop beating?” I asked.

“Only for a while. Until we get there.”

“What if you don’t feel the same way about me when we get there, then what?” I hadn’t thought of all these questions until now. The thought was horrible.

His lips turned upwards into a lopsided smile. “How can you even ask me that?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” How could I have asked him such a thing? After everything he had done for me. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“I’m trying to postpone it.”

“I noticed. Don’t worry. I promise you. I promise with everything in me, it won’t be bad.” He held his hand out to the side and projected something from it.  I turned my head to watch as the clear blue sky transformed into a fantastic show of color: the red, green, purple, and blues of my beloved Northern Lights.

I smiled. “My lights. How did you know?”

“You are my fate; I know everything about you, including your undeniable love of Aurora Borealis.”

“The sky is so beautiful.”

“Like you.”

“Does that mean we can stay and look at it a while?”

“If you can answer one thing for me, then I’ll consider it.”

Glad that he was going along with my impromptu delay, I agreed. “Sure, what?”

“Are you always this much of a pain in the ass?”

I started laughing. “I’m the kind of pain no pill can reach,” I teased. “And I probably always will be. Can you handle an eternity of it?”

He smirked. “I can handle you forever.”

I tried to shove him away, but he pulled me close. He was done joking. I could tell he wanted to get on with it.

I inhaled deeply, taking air into my lungs, tasting the freshness of oxygen one last time.  The lights from the sky began to swirl, a virtual tornado of fantastic color.

He pulled me down to the ground a little roughly so I lay under him. His body above mine was strong, like solid rock. Still I could feel my body melting into him. “Then close your eyes.” His voice was soft but commanding. I did as he said.

I felt his huge arms squeeze me into him; his breath was on my face. It was coming. The whole world began to fade away. I could hear my heart and his racing, taking the last few beats in this place.  “I love you, Tiger,” he said softly. I opened my eyes to look at him one last time. “It’s okay.” He traced his fingers along my face. He placed his lips on mine. I must have kissed Orion a hundred times before, but none of those times was like this. Never was it anything like this.

His lips weren’t gentle like they had always been, they were demanding. The kiss was hard and passionate, hungry. Every single nerve in my body tweaked. Every muscle fiber responded to him.  I tensed, feeling my toes curl, my knees getting weak. My head spun in a rush of adrenaline. I felt the air leaving my lungs. I wasn't able to breathe as he stole my life and kept my soul.  The feeling was indescribable, unbelievable, and absolutely incredible.

Then it was over.

Death is nothing like I thought it would be. Orion was right, he didn’t hurt me; he did quite the opposite.  I couldn’t have even come close to knowing what it was going to be like.  My new life with him was just beginning, and as we were raised to the heavens, to my Northern Lights, to Orion’s constellation, like Orion himself had been so long ago, I knew his love was mine forever.

Unfading.

Undying.

Endlessly.