We finally find Mimsy crying on a huge wooden dock leaning over what I like to call the Less Impressive Ocean (Red says it's 'the sound', and I'm like yeah, cool, but sounds like what?) somewhere, which would probably be super unnormal for her if I had any idea what normal was. She's sniffing sadly the whole time and gripping the wood with her tiny, delicate fingers, all the while making this soft wailing noise from somewhere deep in her throat.

Red leans down besides her, and I see Damien place his hand on Mary's shoulder as she mimes kicking him off the dock. Gillian leers in their general direction, unimpressed, because, you know, she's Gillian, but that leaves the rest of us as spectators for what's beginning to feel like the hundredth time. Red asks, "How did you get all the way out here?"

"I... wandered," Mimsy says, cutting off.

"Nearly a hundred miles out of the way?" asks Red.

"Yes," Mimsy says. "I was very... distracted." The wind ripples across the pier, as if telling all of us to jump in or leave, and none of us really want to jump in or leave, so it's just awkward, and a little cold. "It was nothing."

"Fuck it, it's my fault anyways," Red says, and for a second I think maybe he's about to push Mimsy into the water? He does not push Mimsy into the water.

Angel shoots him a look and goes to sit by her. Mimsy curls against the wooden post she's up against as Angel draws closer. "Mimsy, honey, can you tell us why you were out here? I promise we're not upset, we're just worried about you. See? We came all the way out here to make sure you were okay. We all thought we'd lost you."
"It doesn't really matter," Mimsy says. "Things will happen or they won't happen. Things will end or they won't end. I've come to the place..." she pauses. She chokes on her own breath a few times, then she brings her hands across her face as she looks straight into the horizon. "Do any of you remember this?"

We all stare out at the sun setting over the Sound. I remember the sun rising over the ocean, but it's not like anyone would come to the Sound when the cooler, more dangerous version is like a five minute walk away. The land here is so thin that you get to pick and choose which body of water you want to stare at, and obviously, the superior one is right over there.

"I picked my name here," Red says.
"We all did," Angel says. "We'd finally come to a good time to start picking names."

The group rests in the light as it fades out, watching it like a dying body. When we fade into darkness, the Sound remains unchanged. All the noises of the day continue into a low, dark hum which goes forever, and our breathing echoes across the land, the pulsing of all of our hearts. We are distinguished even when our voices are silenced, like snuffed-out candles, but the fire-scent is always there.

Nah, candles burn out eventually. We are going to be here, wasting everyone's time, possibly forever.

Red walks away.

Dylan walks after him.

I fidget. "Are we going to need to set up camp?"

"It would be really nice if Mr. Directions Man had given us some directions, but he didn't, so I don't even know," Mary says. "Alex! You want to go get Mr. Directions Man?"

"What? Why do I have to do it?" I ask. "There are like ten people here! All of you are capable of being the Directions man directions getter."

"Yeah, but I don't feel like it, most everyone else is shy or quiet or just bad at talking to Red or they're Angel. I guess Gillian could do it. Gillian! How do you feel about going to get directions from Mr. Directions Man?"

"Call him by his real name," growls Gillian.

"I like trouble," Mary admits. "I also like having something to do. You're really forcing me to weigh my options here, Gillian."

Gillian's fists clench. It's almost subtle enough of a movement to be missed in the dark. "Alex should go. Someone needs to watch... them. Alex has no purpose in the group. It is something he can do."

Gillian you're breaking my heart. Gillian kinda breaks my heart all the time, but look, just because someone doesn't have a phone anymore doesn't make them a valuable member of... it doesn't, right? Right? Gillian please.

"I could always tangle with them," Kali suggests.

"No, sit," Elle says.

I am already stomping away, so maybe her offer falls on deaf ears. Maybe her offer falls on ears that are already not hearing, because I am leaving, right now, and when I get to Red and Dylan, they are all the way up on a balcony of a house. I fly up as a seabird to meet them. They are locking their faces together... ew. I caw to let them know I am no ordinary seabird, and then again to chastise them (ha I love that. What's a 'chas' even?) for not doing their job when there's job to do.

Dylan looks up. "Mary?"
"Oh no. Worse than Mary," I transform back, sitting on the side of the roof that faces the balcony. I feel real smug and powerful up until the part when the roof squares start giving and I almost slide off the building, which ends with me becoming a lizard, hitting the railing, and falling back onto the ground in human form.

Red stares down on me. "I guess it was presumptuous of me to assume we were going to get any privacy up here, huh?"

"Stop making out and start del-uh-gating," I say, "The group needs you."

"Good for them. Maybe the group needs to calm down," Red says. "and let me..." He starts itching at his collar. It's all thick, because I think Red's neck has swollen lately... what if he's all buff now? That would be uncomfortable. I can't imagine a muscular Red, but maybe, that's what hides beneath the collar, and it is a terrifying prospect. Red's face changes, switching from one expression to another in a snap (zing!) and I am still looking up at him.

I get to my feet. "Just tell us what to do to set up camp."

"All of you know how to set up camp!" Red exclaims. "We have set up a thousand fucking camps! How do you not know what to do by now? What part of the process is so difficult that it is completely necessary to bother me about it? We don't even have tents to put up. You just find some appropriate sand, sit in it, maybe put the bags somewhere. Half of the things we need to do, I make up so you guys feel like your time is occupied, because otherwise, you spend it beating the shit out of each other."

I don't even think I'm talking to Red.

"But that's your job," I say, numbly. "You delegate." My lip is quivering. My brain says, No, Alex, you gotta stop now, things are going to get so very bad so very quickly, but my brain also says, you gotta tell him, because he might actually listen, and no one else will, and you know that, and I say, "Don't you know how lucky you are that they love you? Everyone down there. They love you. Any time you leave no one even knows what to do with themselves. It's crazy. I would die if it was like that for me, but it's not, and you don't even care that you're lucky, and that's unfair! It's not fair that everyone cares so much about you just because you're you instead of because you had a phone onceuponatime and you're--"

"Stop talking," Red says.

"Lay off him," Dylan grips Red's arm, hard.

"Dylan, come on. He's dealing with the consequences of his own actions. You bust the phone, you feel like you're not a part of the group anymore. Does it really suck to have to deal with the blistering wounds you opened? Isn't it sad someone can't come in and fix it all for you? Do you want me to kiss it all better? Is that what it is, Alex?"

"Red. Calm. Down," Dylan slaps Red across the face, and Red raises his fingers to the point. The skin burns, a thin smoke rising from it.

Red sighs, leaning back on the railing. "You delegate," he says. "You'll do a great job, Alex."

I feel like I've watched something I wasn't supposed to see. I step backwards. "Your skin is burning."

"Now that's a revelation," Red says, "Frankly, I had no idea."

Tears pool in his glasses.

I'm a seabird again. I feel for the first few seconds like Red or maybe Dylan will pluck me out of the air and eat me, but they don't, so I fall to the earth and let the ground eat me up instead. The other middle kids are clustered around me, and Mary has a stick. Further off, Gillian has a fire, and Angel's next to it, and all of them look...

"What do we need to do?" asks Gillian.

"We're prob-ab-ly doing it," I tell her, "Already. Nothing really matters. Just sit down and smile. It's a beautiful night."

I'm not really wrong. The stars are all out and dancing with each other, like the networks of cities. Below it, making the lights twinkle and glimmer before flickering out upon its surface, is the deep water (the silent Sound), the smell of which isn't even that bad, if you can't smell, which humans really can't. Things rustle in the darkness a little bit, but for the most part the world is calm, and okay with itself.

"Red should be down here, delegating," Angel complains. "Are you telling me you didn't manage to get him?"

I shake my head.

"Wonderful," she says, holding her hands to the fire. "Really wonderful. We've been abandoned by everyone, haven't we? Our creators, our leader, any sense of direction that might add meaning to our life..."

"Or purpose," I add.

Angel nods. "Or purpose. It would be so much easier if we had designated function. Well, I'm sure there are articles that many of us, have in a sense, agreed upon... but what do you do now, Alex?"
"La la la, can't hear you, this is stupid, leaving, bye," I yell, out loud, which is stupid, and I want to get into my Veritas but can't even summon up the calm angry of the storm eye. I take bird form instead and start flying somewhere, not that I even know where, and the air lifts my wings, knowing me. I let out a cry of triumph, just because, and turn ridiculous loops far in the air.

It's one of those nights where I wish I had something to do, or something to hide myself behind. Twitchy fingers under the wing send me back down. I'm bad at flying.

This is when the bigangry hawk shoots me down, roughing me up before I realize the best thing to do in this situation is to just fall to the ground anyways. I land in human form with my hands over my face, eyes closed, and the hawk, which isn't even native, stands over me. It's Gillian, Gillian with the designated function, Gillian who is probably pissed but I can't tell because her face is incapable of emoting.

"What," I caw.

She hesitates. Her ginger hair is kind of beautiful. "What did Red say to you?"

"I thought you came out here for me!" I exclaim, then give her another seabird laugh, because ha. "Wow, guess I'm stupid. Remind me never to pretend you have feelings again."
Gillian puts her hand over her heart. She sits down, looking all pensive and even a little sad, and says, "I can feel fear."

"Always?"
"Now."
I move myself up into a sitting position and feel things shifting. That would be the sand. It turns out that when you sit down in sand you get sand everywhere, which I am not okay with. I was not personally asked if I wanted all of this sand all over my body, but here it is, and it is miserable. "Gillian, we're using him."
"We are his hands."

"No, we're like... we're like vines," I say. "Around his... neck." Something dawns on me. I close my eyes, kneading my own face with my fingers until I get all the frizzley (this is a word I made up but I think it's a good one for right here) feeling out of my numb nerves. "Gillian, do you think Red has a Veritas?"
Gillian blinks.

"I think he... I mean, it would have to happen all at once, but that's probably why he yelled at me so much. He's like a totally totally different person! I don't know why he hasn't-- why he wouldn't-- usually this doesn't happen, right? Red's always in control. Even when he's not in control of the situation, he is in control of the situation," I think I'm rambling but I can't stop myself. "Because that's his job, and you know, that's what matters, the job, being used, being useful, and if I'm not, can I be happy, I don't really know..."

"It is an honor to be used for a purpose. If you're not fulfilling one, what is the point of your existence?" Gillian states.

"Like Elle is using Kali?" I ask, nervously.

Gillian's eyes go glassy. "I don't think that's a purpose. I didn't mean... that."

I move my hands together.

"You want something out of me that I don't have."

"Tools?"

Gillian looks up at me, and I know I no longer fill a purpose.

"Give me something to do, Gillian."

I lean in and she doesn't resist, puts a hand around my back, leans in and kisses me, but it's not because she loves me but maybe because she is all numb across the face, too, and at the end of the end of everything, we make a noise that holds the darkness back, just by keeping ourselves busy, and this is work, and it is not work, and I think I am doing something right...