"Being annoying can be a bliss for those who are down,"  As quoted by a unknown source.

I open my eyes to discover I am in a strange room strapped to a large metal slab.

"Why haff ze human here?" Scalpel asks, his long clicking claws tap against the metal surface.

"Holy scrap," I said.

"There is something off about this human," Starscream said.

"Hmm?" Scalpel tilts my head up sniffing me. "I cannot smell anything of importance from ze human!"

Starscream sighs.

"The Autobots have been protecting her little arse like she is important," Starscream said, as Scalpel forces my mouth open.

That does not feel good seeing sharp edges enter your mouth.

"Don't moff," Scalpel said, leaning his glasses back up to his large optics.

I raise a brow.

Scalpel sounds German.

I am not sure if the Bayverse version is portraying an accurate dialogue  of his Germanic accent.

"Do you see anything inside this human?"

Scalpel drops two round balls into my mouth.

"Not yet," Scalpel said, as his optics change to a light shade of blue. "Eww, I see a decomposing stretch of shell in the stomach."

"That's my terrible pill," I said, through muffles.

Scalpel lets go of my mouth.

"Does ze Fallen know?" Scalpel asks, scurrying over to my left shoulder.

I had a big sigh of relief.

"No," Starscream said. "I have been suspicious of her ever since they started having old failed ninja bot on her back."

Scalpel tilts his head.

"Sideswipe?" Scalpel asks.

"Yes," Starscream said.

"Zought he was offlined," Scapel said. "I zought he would not surff Tigertron."

"Oh shush," Starscream said.

"NEVER!" I shout.

"Starscream, zose bugs will be coming out of ze human in four megacycles," Scalpel said.  "She needs zo be able zo moff zo let out ze bugs."

"Don't even think about running away," Starscream said.

I stare at the gigantic robot with a dorito chip body theme.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I said, with a smile.

Starscream drew closer to me until he is mere inches from my faces appearing to be menacing.

"That is a dead give away you are lying," Starscream said. "I have faced enough humans to know."

"And you claimed you were gonna kill me," I said.

"Figure of speech," Starscream said.

"You don't always keep your word, do you?" I ask.

Starscream frowns, placing his large claws on a leveler.

"I always do!" Starscream argues, drawing back pulling down the leveler.

S--lurch went the binds detracting into the metal bed.

"Ze bugs will be out of your urinary tract without pain," Scalpel said, climbing back into a articulate set of metal gears and machinery resembling a in-progress castle.

I smirk helping myself up.

"And you sir need to take me home," I said.

"I cannot do that," Starscream said.

"Why?" I ask.

"We are not exactly on the continent of the free," Starscream said.

"You are full of shit,Screamer, you know that?" I ask.

"No, I am not," Starscream said.

"I can be right and you can be wrong," I said, sliding down facing towards Starscream.

Then I am falling into the darkness past pipes.

Starscream catches me by two of his long digits.

"We are in Prussia," Starscream said.

"We are in the most greedy ridden nation!" I wiggle."RUSSIA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"Well," Starscream said.  "You call it Russia, I call it Prussia."

I wonder how long it is gonna take to make Starscream lose his motherboard.