Singto wakes up, when the bright morning light hits his face. He gets up, his heart feels calmer now. Yesterday his dad dragged him off, senseing the impending panic attack.

Singto is extremely haemophobic,( extreme phobia about blood , giving rise to panic attacks even fainting spells ) and also severely nosocomephobic ( phobia about hospitals) .

A drop of blood can trigger it and yesterday he saw loads of it spattered all over..the family physician had already been called and he was given drug to relax and sleep off.

He jolts up remembering krist! He couldn't even follow him. His dad enters the room and seeing him again panicking approaches him fast .

" Hey calm down. You will be again hyperventilating . I went to see him at the hospital, he is not totally out of danger.. there is too many syringes and machines attached to his body. I don't think it's wise to visit him with your fragile mental state. We don't want another bed to be occupied. You rest . Don't worry, I will again go in the evening and keep you posted about his health. That stupid bodyguard of mine though is out of danger. Did you know krist is gay?"

Singto nods his head, he really wants to go but the mention of hospital ICU, syringes and the picture of bloodied krist from the night pops up, again bringing about the familiar nervous fluttering in his stomach.. what can he do? His dad passes the anti anxiety medicine to calm him down, seeing him again starting to sweat profusely.

" Sleep today, you can visit him in the evening or tomorrow.. "

" Dad, I..I..am a coward.., I can't even visit him and please never say anything about media or publicity and my name getting associated as reason ever again, to dissuade me in getting involved with krist's life and wellbeing."

" Singto, I hope the things you are saying is your natural protective instinct about the kid and nothing else .." Mr Prachaya calmly asks, he has never seen his son looking so helpless and sad..his medical condition has never been a bother for him except during vaccination or flu shots.

" No dad, it's more than that.. it's always has been more than that though it took me years to realise, like a fool I am.." Singto starts crying shocking his dad, the helplessness of the situation, his own limitations prohibiting him to see the man he loves..oh god, how he wishes Prem came a little later, how he prays he had not left marks on him that evening..guilt is eating him away, everyway as he sobs hard..

" Singto I promise, he will be fine.. best of the doctors are seeing him.. I will be personally supervising everything. Pls calm down and lie down for sometime. I will ask Mariam to get your breakfast." Mr Prachaya can only hold his son close as he cries his heart out.

Late afternoon, after whatever he can keep down and not throw up, Singto fires up his laptop hoping to see a new blog post. But he knows the young blogger has already announced he has exams and will be unavailable for a month now..

Then also he starts writing an email.. his heart telling him, only another bleeding heart will understand his plight..

" Dear Ray..

🌱🌱🌱

Krist opens his eyes, and the first think he feels is the burning pain in his throat and searing pain in his right arm and head. His heart rate shoots up promptly bringing the ICU nurse by his side..she signals him to calm down and calls for the doctor as she pushes more painkillers via iv.

The doctor comes fast, krist's eyes are again getting heavy, the sedatives and painkiller's catching up..

" Relax we will take out the tube soon, since you have gained consciousness. Rest now ..evening your family can visit you"

Krist sighs internally hearing the doctor's words..

Family, his only family tried to break a bottle on his head while he was trying to get rid of the pathetic drink which makes his father more illogical than he already is.. he remembers the pain in the arm when the bottle broke in half and his father jabbed the rest half in, shouting faggot.. disobedient..and he could only stare as he fell down to the floor.hitting his head on the cold surface resembling his life... not believing his eyes and ears that his father's hate runs so deep.

From his childhood, his dad had been becoming more and more aloof to him and the last straw was his coming out .

But he could never stop loving him, hoping that he would come around .. someday the dad he loved , the one who stayed up the whole night caring for him when he was not well, the one who hugged him to sleep when he used to cry out for his mom will be back..
.........
he knows now , it has just been a wishful thinking. But then also he hopes his dad doesn't loose his job after this fiasco, the old man will be doomed more . At least the job keeps his sanity.. ! And obviously krist will never press charge ! How can he, ? sadly his heart can never stop loving the one parent god has left behind for him, he will never be close to him ever again but his heart will always wish best for him.

Evening comes, he waits eagerly for that another constant face from his childhood, the one who solaced him as his dad moved further away, the one who inspired him to write, the one who is his world now.. he blushes remembering their last time.. his heart rate picks up again promptly fetching the nurse at his bedside

" your friends have come ? Do you want to see them? If you are not feeling well, just rest, see them tomorrow,ok?"

Krist tries to shake his head in no, and tries to lift his left hand, to somehow make her understand he wants to see him, his Singto! He is sure he must be freaking out, waiting outside ..

" you want them to come in, ok , ok , don't stress I will call them one by one but doctor allowed only two visitors today , you had a close call and lots of blood loss."

Krist eagerly stares at the door , waiting for the familiar figure to walk in but it's Prem who walks in first. His heart falls , isn't he here? His doe eyes looks at Prem hoping for some answer..

" are you expecting master Singto, he couldn't come, he was caught up in some emergency work. Just get well krist. Then you can see him soon, all healthy and happy."

Prem hates to lie but he can't say the truth to the expectant eyes, that Singto hasn't visited him even once during the past three days, he is at the hospital, though Mr Prachaya has been coming almost four times everyday to over see every medical need of the young man. The situation puzzles Prem, he is sure Singto is behind the care Mr Prachaya is showing to his mere bodyguard's son, then why is he himself avoiding him? What's the deal?

Krist can make out something is wrong, but he braces his heartbeat, he will not come to a negative conclusion after what they experienced together..but a nagging feeling persists at the back of his head..

Tana comes next, he can clearly see the shine and then dulling of the brown eyes, Tana feels like going and hugging the injured man, it's clear to him, why no parent figure ever visited krist at the dorm.

(Tana)
And what about that boyfriend? Why hasn't he visited him? He seemed like a caring man. Tana is not a evil person, he really had fallen for krist. The younger is the gentlest soul he has seen, not to forget too cute.

" Hi krist, don't worry I am making all notes and keeping . You just have to go through and you will be done with the preparations."

Tana can make out krist nodding his head, the nurse comes to ask him to step out, krist needs rest. Tana goes out , with a very heavy heart..he can't help but feel the longing reflecting in those brown dull eyes..

Krist closes his eyes imagining Singto entering and sitting at his bedside..what will the elder say.. he will definitely scold him First.

He remembers their conversation about his dad two weeks ago. They have come back from roaming the night market and krist was going back to his room since his father was out of station. Singto, after their kiss, never wanted to spend the night together. Krist used to feel hurt but his nature prevented him to bare his deeper feelings.. he always used to wonder "can't they atleast cuddle?"

Krist smiles thinking they have definitely done more than cuddling last time..his mood again darkens remembering the conversation

" Don't go running if he ever calls you krist."

" He will never call me,mas.."

" call me phi Singto .. I am fed up telling you again and again.. and I know you will go running to talk to him once he calls? What if he hits you again, he is becoming unhinged with his prejudice!"

" you are taking about my dad .. phi, he slapped me once, that also drunken .. I will make sure if I meet him, I meet him sober. He is not such a bad man phi, he loves me too I am sure ." Krist remembers, Singto sighing, knowing his unplaced faith in his dad and not furthering the conversation anymore and changing the topic.

Krist lying on the hospital bed feels his tears again starts falling.. is he not good enough for anyone ? Had Singto abandoned him too because of the scandalous happening at his house . He is ultimately a celebrity, a millionaires heir, he may not like to be associated with his servant's family drama.. he might have understood Krist is way below his league, he closes his eyes .. enjoying the spreading physical pain now .. it's dulling the piercing ache in his heart.

Krist is very intuitive in nature , he reads people well unless he is blinded in love and he saw the lie in Prem's eyes, the pity in Tana's .. he is no fool..
They all screamed the same thing at him.. mocking him..

" he is so not into you"

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

I am travelling back home and writing in train.. lots of not very happy thoughts and things muddling my head ..

Hope the chapter is able to reflect the ongoing story clearly.. and not my crazy brain 😂😂

Pls comment .. and vote if you like .. 🥰🥰🥰

noname363529 Tana for you .. he is a very important character..