Hey, guys. How are ya feeling?

I feel like crap. I don't know why, I have these types of days. Maybe because it's the beginning of the day. I'm not in love with mornings. It's like a mutual hatred for each other.

Today, I have to go to a bowling alley with some friends, so that's going to be 'fun' I guess. I'm not to excited about it. I mean, most of the girls there are not my type of people that out of school, or any organization, I wouldn't hang out with. Well, now, I wouldn't.

I come in three sizes if I can make this analogy. One size is a close friends (5-6) and you guys. The other is my nerdy/geeky size, like D&D, Lord of the Rings, comic books and movies, Star Wars and some other things and the people that I share them with. I also have a super artistic and influential size to me. I guess that's were I show up most in school. I've held myself around this concept of me trying to influence someone else, be a muse and try to tie up the lost ends, try to be a perfectionist and I can't.

It can't do that to myself.

I end up throwing my *insert form of media that I'm using to create* idea out, or going back, losing it (my mind) over a simple little thing that I can't fix.

I try to create mood and feelings through art and all I do is destroy them.

It's like the Floyd lyrics, "Everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon."

Now I listen to Take Hold of the Flame by Queensryche and Low Sparks of a High Heeled Boy by Traffic trying to decide it I want to keep or delete was I just opened up to you.

Je ne sais pas.

If I don't find bowling fun, I'll go to the arcade and play games there, or read.
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~eight hours later~

Turns out, I'm decent at bowling. I got second place.

I had fun.

I'm better than I was earlier and I just needed some time to get my mind off of things.

Currently listening to my ballads playlist and Love Bites by Def Leppard came on. I love this song, and I kind of miss being all innocent and shit, when I first got into Def Leppard.

My hands are all brused, dry and cracking so that's fun. I might play some bass later and I need to participate in the cleansing ceremony, and then draw.

I guess, I'll see you soon. *hugs* Love you, darlings. 💚It's Geez💜