Ashley was sitting on the couch on her porch. It was night.
The sky was crystal clear just like it always had been here. It's a hilly area with splendid nature, a mountain river, several blue lakes, and huge grasslands.
She had her appointment with the hospital last day and confirmed her job there. She will be joining them from the next working day.
She was happy and contended.

Mrs. Simpson took care of her house very well while she was away. It was a nice cottage near the orphanage which she had bought several years ago.
She wanted to keep in touch with the orphanage by staying nearby. Mrs. Simpson received her shipments and unpacked and organized them in her house beforehand. That woman was beyond incredible.

In a corner of her porch, a telescope stood alone, untouched for years.

Ashley drew her eyes off from the telescope. She didn't know if she could look at the stars with that ever again.
She tried so hard to overcome everything, but at the end of the day, some wounds never heal and even if they healed, they keep scars. And no matter how strong persons can be, they cant run past those scars. Maybe that won't make them suffer anymore but do constantly remind them of their presence.

"Pip?" Mrs. Simpson came out of her house, they had dinner together. They had a lot to catch up on. Seeing her, Ashley could say that she was not getting any younger. She celebrated her seventy oneth birthday last January.

Mrs. Simpson handed her a mug of coffee and sat in front of her.
Ashley sipped her coffee, feeling mesmerized by the environment around her.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

Ashley looked at her in confusion. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, a hunch, maybe?" Mrs. Simpson watched her gathering her knees close to her chest and sipping her coffee casually.

"I am ok," Ashley smiled.

The old lady watched Ashley picking on random stuff for a conversation like she always did, avoiding any eye contact.
She smiled bitterly, she knew this girl too good to know she was lying.

"Pip?" she interrupted her.

"What?" Ashley paused her conversation.

"What happened, dear?"

Ashley looked into her eyes for a moment. Mrs. Simpson saw her eyes getting softer and getting filled with thousands of emotions with every second passing by.

"It's nothing big, Nana," Ashley softly said, trying to avoid it.
The lady got up from her seat and sat beside Ashley, facing her, "what is it?"

"I have hurt a friend," Ashley moved her gaze to her coffee as if that black liquid was the most interesting view around, tracing the brim of the mug with her index.

"and?"

"I feel awful. It hurts Nana," her voice was barely audible.

"Then why?" Mrs. Simpson touched Ashley's knee, trying to convey the message that it was ok, she will not judge her. And Ashley knew that.

"I don't know, Nana. I didn't know how to do this to him without getting him hurt."

"It a "Him" then!" the woman sighed, "how was he?"

"He was a friend like no one else, just a glimpse of him was enough to make me happy," Ashley said with a dimmer voice.

"Do you like him?" she looked at her like she could see through her.

"I don't want to," Ashley whispered.

"That's why you hurt him?"

"I realized Nana, the more I would spend my time with him, the more I would get dragged towards him. It's hard not to. And I don't trust myself with him, probably I would have ended up liking him."

"Why don't you give it a try, Pip? It's not worth it to not even giving a chance."

"I am not ready, Nana," Ashley looked into her eyes. "I don't think I ever will be."

"How many days will you keep up the guard, Pip? You even don't know if you would like him or not. And it's no crime if you would. We are talking about lots of "if"s here. Maybe you won't even like him that way!"

Ashley smiled weakly, "And if I would, Nana.....what if it breaks me?"

"Pip.."

Ashley interrupted her, "I know I am being selfish here, but I am not ready to break down any further," Her whisper was barely audible.

Mrs. Simpson realized what she was trying to say, she was being too careful with her feelings. She just not only didn't want to explore her feelings but also was resistant to give herself a chance to let her like him even.

And she could definitely see why.
She quietly took Ashley's already empty coffee mug and put it on the table.

"Come here."

Ashley snuggled close to her lap and let herself wrapped up by two loving hands.

"You miss him?"

Ashley nodded.

"Everything will be ok," Mrs. Simpson spoke in a slow voice, realizing she never had anything to comfort this girl from her ever-driving shadows except her love that she never had.

She knew her next step, being busy like crazy to shut the whole world on her doorstep like she always did. It was her way to survive, to forget, and to forgive.

She prayed, "God may have mercy on you, dear, may he grant you peace at last."

"Your god is too selfish Nana. He doesn't care about your words," Ashley protested with a mild voice, "better not to be a crybaby in front of him, he will never be there for me you know that."

She slowly stroked Ashley's hair, "shhhh.........don't talk like that."

Ashley giggled at her, feeling the warmth of her lap, trying to forget everything on her mind, being thankful for these moments.