CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: DYSFUNCTION

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Luther was standing by the side of the road with his thumb up, hoping that a car would past by while Diego was checking the damaged on the van.

Maddie was sitting on the passener seat by the side doors while Five was checking his wife for any injures or bruises after the crash while the others was trying to regain back consciousness after the crash.

"I'm fine Five, really" Maddie grab his hands that was by her face "You don't need to worry, I'm fine, okay" she said "Are you sure?" he asked "I'm sure" she kissed his knuckles while caused him to smile.

"Leave it to this clown car of a family to botch a simple search and rescue. For a second there, we had her" Ben said "Who were those weirdoes with the fanny packs?" Viktor asked as he was sitting next to Maddie.

"Was it me, or did they smell like wet sheep?" Lila asked "Goats, I thought" Luther said "Mmm" Lila nodded "Maybe Llamas" Luther said "Who cares?" Diego asked before he looked at his wife "And why did they call you Nancy?" he asked and Five glanced at Lila who glanced at him. She didn't really know what to say to Diego.

"Their names are Gene and Jean. They run an underground organization called the Keepers" Five said.

"Sex cult?" Diego asked "No, not a sex cult---" Five shook his head "Once you get to the top, it's always a sex cult" Diego said "Yeah. The man's got a point" Luther nodded.

"They're an extremist group who believe they have memories from an alternate timeline" Five said.

"Some of their memories are bang on" Lila said "Yeah" Five nodded "They're calling this phenomenon the 'Umbrella Effect'" he said.

"How do you know that?" Maddie asked him "They are one of my cases in the CIA. I have work undercover to investigate them" Five replied.

"Ugh. How is this even possible?" Maddie asked "Well, you know we're still working on that" Lila said "What do they want with Jennifer?" Ben asked.

Five rub his hands together to keep them warm before rolling his shoulder, he then grab Maddie's hands before he blew in them to keep warm.

"Great. You don't know that either" Ben said annoying.

"Oh, I'm sorry. At least we shared some knowledge about who they are while all you do is complain" Five said "Well, if it wasn't for this stupid family, we would have saved Jennifer by now" Ben said.

"What? You finally got some balls and finally got a girlfriend you just met a few hours ago? At least we're actually doing something while you're just a plain old asshole" Five said "Oh, is that right" Ben walked closer to Five.

But then Maddie got in between Five and Ben "Don't" you hissed at Ben as she stared at him with her eyes glowing red.

"Really, you need your little wife to defend you?" Ben asked "No, he don't need me to defend him. But we have each other's back, and is standing by each other side 'cause that is what family do, that is what we do to the people we love" Maddie said.

"Okay, easy" Luther got in between the three of you "Fighting is the last thing we need right now" he said and Maddie step back before walking over to Klaus.

"Hey, hey, hey" Maddie said to Klaus as she could see that something was wrong with him.

"Are you okay?" she rubbed his shoulder "I'm absolutely fine, thanks to you" he glanced at Allison "Look. Are you made at me because I saved your life?" Allison asked "I was very clear, was I not? No marigold" he looked at Allison "I know, Klaus. What was I supposed to do? Let you die?" she asked "I know. It's just three whole years down the drain. Three years clean and sober. But this what you wanted, right?" he asked as he looked at Allison again while suddenly Five places the back of his hand against Maddie's forehead and she glanced up at him "What are you doing?" she asked "Checking for a temperature, making sure you don't have a fever" he said and she rolled her eyes "I'm fine, Honey, really" she said and he smiled "Okay, but let me know" he said and she nodded.

Then he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started rubbing his hand up and down to keep her warm.

"What are you talking about?" Allison asked "I'm talking about this. Our little parasitic relationship. The eternal screwup and his holy savior. As long as I'm around, you don't have to look directly at your empty pit of a life" he said "Wow! You know what?" she got up "Maybe you should take it down a notch" she said annoying "No. I think I'll take it up a notch, shall we?" Klaus got up.

"I mean, dysfunction is, after all, what we do best in this family" he turned to Maddie and the others.

"We got daddy issues!" Klaus pointed at Viktor "Daddy issues!" he said before he pointed at Five "Chaos Junkie" he said before pointing at Maddie "You are normal" he then pointed at Diego "Mommy issues" he then pointed on Luther "More daddy issues" he then pointed at Ben "Obnoxious asshole issues" he said before he pointed at Lila "Then you..." he stopped himself when he couldn't figure out anything to say about her "You seem kind of weirdly self-actualized, as far as I can tell" he said before he turned around "Anyway, I'm just so done living, cowering in your little bubble of superiority" he looked at Allison.

"So this is the thanks I get for taking care of you for the past six years?" she approached him "I think you've got that back-to-front Sweetheart" Klaus said "Oh!" Allison said "Who took care of you since Ray walked out?" he asked before he lifted his right hand "None of these guys gave a shit" he gestured to Maddie and the others.

"Who took care of little Claire while you bombed every shitty audition in town?" Klaus asked.

"Come, sit down, Love" Five said to his wife as he help her sit down by the passenger seat "I'm fine Five, I heal quickly remember" she said and he kissed her cheek before he opened the door to the driver seat and sat down while Viktor sat down next to Maddie.

"So you think that I like having a grown man living in my basement, covering my entire house in bubble wrap?" she asked out loud.

"You think I like picking your sorry ass up every time you hit rock bottom?" she asked "Bottom? Moi?" he said hoarsely "There's no bottom here, missy. No bottom at all. I'm the goddamn Mariana Trench!" he said out loud as Maddie and the others just watch those two arguing.

"Wait till you see" he said "You know what? Fine. Fine. Jump off the deep end" she said "I will" Klaus nodded "Because that is so clearly what you wanna do. Have fun, and see if I give a shit!" she said "Thank you" Klaus nodded "Truly, thank you. Finally, a grain of honesty. It feels good" he inhales sharply "Feels refreshing! You wanted the old Klaus. You got him" he said before he turned around "Come on" Luther said "What are you doing?" Maddie asked.

"Look out, Klaus!" Diego shouted as a car came driving towards him but didn't hit him.

Klaus just walk over the road not caring if he got hit by a car or not as the horn was blaring "Klaus come back!" Maddie called out but he just kept walking.

"He is not wrong, we are a dysfunction family" Maddie glanced at the others.

"You know what?" Allison turned to the others "Actually, while we're here, does anybody else have some shit they wanna get off their chest? Because now's the time" she said out loud but nobody said anything.

"No?" Allison glanced at Maddie and the others "No takers?" she asked "Good. I'm done being the bad guy in this family" she turned around before walking away.

"Now that the show's over, what are we going to do about Jennifer? We need to find her" Ben said "We're not going anywhere in this piece of shit" Five sighed "He said I was the best one, so...Just saying" Lila said "He said I was the best one too, and the normal one" Maddie smiled before she looked at Five.

"Honey, I miss the kids" she sighed "So do I" Five said before he looked at his wife "Let's call them" he suggest "Really?" she looked at him and he nodded before he pulled up his phone.

"Let's call Alfred" Five dialed Alfred's number before putting the phone to his ear.

"Hello Mr. Five" Alfred said over the phone "Hey Alfred, is everything alright back home? Is the kids alright?" he asked "Everything is fine and the kids are fine. They are actually right here if you want to say hello" Alfred said "We will" Maddie said "I will put video cam on" Five said as he removed the phone was his ear before pressing the camera and the speaker buttons.

"Noa, Sam. It's your mom and dad" they could hear Alfred tell the kids.

"MOMMY, DADDY!" the two kids said out loud as Noa grab the phone and turned it around.

"Hey Sweethearts" Maddie smiled as she saw her son's face "Mommy, daddy" Noa smiled as he saw his parents on the video call.

"Hey Buddy" Five waved as he was holding the phone in a position so both him and Maddie could see the screen.

"Sam, is mommy and daddy" Noa said "Mommy, Daddy" Sam came into the camera's view.

"Hey Sweetpea" Five and Maddie smiled at their kids "How was your day?" Maddie asked "Great. We had pizza yesterday" Noa said "Pizza on a Thursday, huh?" Five asked "Yeah. And I ate two slices" Sam said "Really?" the couple asked and Sam nodded.

"Daddy, mommy, we miss you" the two kids said "We miss you two, so much" Maddie and Five said as Maddie could feel tears in her eyes. This was the first time her and Five was away from the kids for more than 24 hours.

"When are you coming home?" Noa asked "We miss you" Sam said "It wouldn't be long, I promise" Five said "We promise that we will be home as soon as we can" Maddie said.

"Now, you two behave, and Noa you take care of your little sister okay" Five said and the kids nodded "We love you both, so much. Always and forever" Maddie and Five said "We love you too, always and forever" Noa said as Maddie send kisses to the screen.

Five hang up the phone before he looked at his wife and he could see tears falling from her eyes, so he wrapped his arms around her, comfort her. "Don't worry, we will be home to them soon" he said "I know" she let out a quiet sob.

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Diego's van had being gone to a repair place and now Maddie and the others was all waiting for the van to be fixed.

"Careful" Diego told the guy that was repairing the van "Careful" he said "Yeah, sure" the guy nodded.

Luther walked over to Ben "Hey Ben" he said "What?" Ben turned to him "What do you want?" he asked annoying "Uh, it's three o'clock. Time to check in with your parole officer" Luther said "Oh, right. I can't wait to catch him up on what I've been up to. Crossing state lines, shooting up a whole town, flipping a Volkswagen. Good idea" Ben said sarcastically with a sarcastic smile.

"Moron" he said before walking away from him "All right" Luther said.

"I need a run on a Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country" Five said as he was talking to someone over a phone that was hanging on the wall.

"'80, '81. Brown, simulated woodgrain sides. New Mexico plates. Look for matches with an owner first name Gene. That is Golf-Echo-November-Echo. Or Jean. That's Juliet-Echo-Alpha-November" Five said.

"Hey, you know what's strange?" Luther asked and the others looked at him "All those people back in New Grumpson. They were wearing Hargreeves-Branded military gear" he said "Luther, the entire goddamn place was a Hargreeves town" Maddie said "Yeah, it's like it was designed to keep Jennifer hostage" Ben said "What's so important about her anyway?" Lila asked as Five hang up the phone.

"Isn't it obvious? She's one of us" Maddie said "No. No way" Ben said "I mean, that would make sense. Why else would dad build a Truman Show around her?" Five asked.

"The guy played us, all right? Nothing Jennifer said jibed with Sy's story" Ben said "They're both gone now, so that leave us with two shitty options. We either go after the Keepers, or worse, talk to dad" Viktor said and everyone sighed.

"Come on, man" Diego aid "Think we need to split up. Me, Maddie and Lila will follow up with the Keepers. The rest of you go talk to dad" Five said "I think I will go and talk to dad" Maddie said "No" Five looked at his wife "I'm not letting you near that man after what he did last time" he said.

Maddie walked over to her husband before grabbing his hands "I will be fine Five. Beside there is something I want to ask to him about" she said "Have you forgotten how he almost killed you?" he asked "No" she shook her head "But he is not getting another chance" she said before putting her left hand on his right cheek.

"I promise I will be fine, I wouldn't get him the chance to hurt me" she said "And we will protect her, he wouldn't lay a hand on her. I promise" Viktor said.

"Fine" Five let out a sigh "Then me and Lila will follow up with the Keepers" Five said "And the rest of us will go talk to dad" Maddie said.

"Uh-uh" Diego shook his head before getting up "I'm going with you" he looked at Lila and Lila glanced at Five who glanced back at her "Fine by me" he said.

"And I'm going after Jennifer" Ben said "It's better if we stick together" Maddie said "No, it's not. And this little field trip proved it" Ben said "You're awfully gung ho for a person that didn't wanna go in the first place" Diego told him.

"You're all a bunch of clowns. I'm going on my own" Ben said before he turned around and walk away "Ben" Luther said but he just kept walking "Don't you walk away from me" Luther said but Ben ignored him.

"And then there were seven" Lila said.

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As soon as the van was fixed, Maddie and the others got into the van before Diego drove down the road. Lila was sitting next to him.

"Come here" Maddie whispered to Five, opening up her arms. He gladly accepts her embrace as her arms encircle him and his encircles her waist in a protective manner. 

Maddie's right fingers was locked together with Five's left fingers as their hands were locked together while Maddie had her head rested on Five's shoulder and he had his head on top of hers as they were asleep just like Viktor, Luther and Allison was also asleep.

"Look" Lila started "The reason that they call me Nancy is---" "I already know" Diego cut her off and she looked at him "Know what?" she asked and he sighed "I followed you. The other night" he said "You what? What, so you're spying on me now?" she asked.

"I saw you" she looked at him "You were in the café with...with him" he said "With who?" she asked "Don't play dumb. The little Greek guy with the mustache" he said.

She started laughing as she realized what he was talking about "Is that funny to you?" he asked "Yeah, trust me. That is absolutely hilarious" she laughed "Our kids are gonna grow up in a broken home, and you're laughing" Diego said.

"Diego, the...the little guy, the little Greek guy, is Five" she said and he looked at her "Yeah. We've been undercover investigating the Keepers" she said "You've been lying to me? And you're working undercover with the CIA?" he asked "See this is why I didn't tell you. Because I knew you'd have some bizarre reaction" she said "I'm not having a bizarre reaction" he said "You're acting like I had an affair" she said "No. It's worse than an affair" he hissed and Five opened his eyes.

"Okay, as much as I would love to unpack whatever this is, we have much more important things to think about" she said "It's because he's in the CIA, huh? I'm just a dumb delivery driver" he said "No, Diego" she said "Then why?" he asked "Because I needed something for myself, okay?" she looked at him before looking forward again "Something other than changing diapers and wine moms and ballet class. At least you get to get outside the house every day. I'm just trapped in this unending suburban hellscape" she said.

"I mean, that's good to know. That the life we built is so bad" he said and she looked at him "That's not what I meant" she said "You think I like delivering packages day in and day out? Busting my ass? Oh, trust me. I'd mean I rather be out there cracking skulls, but, I mean, somebody's gotta show up for this marriage, 'cause...it sure as hell ain't you" he said and she looked at him.

Then Diego hit the radio with his fist causing the song 'Baby shark' to start playing which made Maddie and the others to wake up.

"Really Diego?" Maddie groan "Yeah" Diego said a little annoying.

Five looked at Maddie "Are you okay, my love?" he asked as he noticed that she was a bit pale "I'm fine" she said "Is just you look a bit pale" he said "I'm fine" she said even so she felt a little nausea but she thought nothing of it.

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