Today would be the day I realised waking up was not as lovely as it used to be. Waking up was no longer the pleasure it was. The atmosphere seemed to crackle the way it did in a storm before lightning hit although I didn't really understand why. 

   I sighed, running my fingers through my blonde curls, trying to tame them. I suddenly panicked, stumbling to the little mirror on the wall, worried that my makeup made me look like a panda since I had slept in it. Not that pandas were the worst thing I could ever look like I mused on the way to the mirror.

    However, my makeup had all been removed. There were probably at least eleven thoughts running through my head before I saw the stack of disposed makeup wipes sitting in the bin. I looked fondly at Bryn and Nick. I was really so very lucky to have friends like them. 

    I looked at Bryn who seemed content on a pull-out chair. I brought the blanket up slowly so she wouldn't wake and she stirred before turning on her side and falling back to sleep. I shot a quick glance at Nick seeing as this would probably be the only time where I could look at him without blushing like a tomato. I regretted it slightly as I looked. He was so handsome as he slept, that steady heart, those steady breaths, which was more than enough to make me fall in love with him all over again. Damn it. His heart thumped in accordance with slow, shallow breaths. Serenity was plastered across his face as he slept. At peace, his consciousness swirled in the land of dreams, oblivious to the physical world.

    I slapped myself across the face, pulling out a fresh change of clothes out of my bag and bringing a hygiene kit with me from the little bowl by the door. Pale sunlight peeked through the scattered windows that hadn't been closed and I blinked hazily. The sun peeked through the cracks in the blinds and awaited entrance into my eyes. Sight still in the clutches of the night's glue, I hesitantly rubbed the dreams away. Thoughts of the visions in sleep come and go in waves, clinging on to the very last memory of the night but with little success. I forced myself to leave before the others woke. 

   We must have taken off while I was sleeping, I yawned, glancing at the little map of where we were in the world. We seemed to be just over halfway. I paused at the door, looking back at two people who had made me feel more alive today than I had in the last seven years. They looked so peaceful sleeping and my heart fluttered as my eyes ran over Nick's sleeping silhouette. Those two would need all the rest they could get. We still had another three hours before we landed so with that, I walked out, materials in hand.

    I walked into the bathroom at the end of the hall and gasped. The bathroom had an earthy feel. The walls were large format tiles of white honed travertine and the floor was made of dull brown tiles. The vanities were of a dark wood and the counters were a brilliant white quartz. There was no bath but instead a huge walk in shower with two shower heads. I suddenly wished Bryn was here; I had at least nine comments I wanted to say about how this bathroom was prettier and swankier than I would ever be. 

    I walked leisurely to the shower, steam filling the room as I cut the shower on. I bathed my skin lightly. The water poured down. I watched it drip by my side. As my mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calmed me; it took my mind off things. All the things I honestly don't care about. It's the water. My mind swirled, and it's like I'm standing under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, but it can never last, I know that now.

    A loud and incessant beeping sounded from the room and I almost fell in the haste to get out of the shower. I spat out a string of courses as the beeping quietened. It reminded me of my stupidly annoying alarm clock that I really needed to get rid of.

    Still grumbling, I threw on a pair of my favourite grey track pants that Bryn was probably going to make me get rid of once we reached Berlin. I tried not to think of my favourite track pants in any sentimental way as I pulled a white singlet over the top of my head, leaving my hair out to dry. 

    I made my way to the food hall, reluctant for some reason to go back. I looked around, spotting the hot chocolate and coffee machine in the left corner of the room by those stupid and small-signed vodka infused cookies. I walked over, ignoring the cookies as if my life depended on it. I pulled a face as hot water spluttered out at me as I gently twisted one of the knobs. I tried again even though I knew what was going to happen. I let out a sigh. 

    I moved over to the coffee machine where a small queue had built up. A man smiled at me kindly as I took my place behind him. I rubbed my eyes as I tried to keep myself awake before I heard gentle laughter from in front of me.

    "Miss Marshall?" I looked up to see a head of white hair and glimmering ice-grey eyes. My heart swelled in recognition. 

    "Alex! I-I mean Mr Kirschbaum! Hey!" Alex laughed, the sound short and sweet although it didn't reach my heart like Nick's did. 

    "Alex is fine," he smiled, turning to face me as the line seemed to meander forward every thirty seconds or so, "I didn't know you were flying first class." He paused, frowning, "wait no, that sounds elitist." It was my turn to laugh.

    "No, no," I smiled, "it sounded perfectly natural to wonder. My friend and I had a seating mix up so they moved us although I'm not complaining." Alex grinned and I felt myself relax. He seemed more approachable than Nick. People shoved me unknowingly and I quickly moved up as Alex did. In almost no time at all, we were at the front of the line. I waited patiently for Alex to make himself a coffee when he turned around with two in his hands.

    "I figured you would want one and by the looks of you, you seem like a latte girl." I smiled gratefully. I took the coffee and we sat down together at a small table that was reclusive in it's own rights. 

    At first I found it bitter quite like I usually did. I was still not very used to coffee and I really only had ever had Bryn's coffee and hot chocolate with her carefully crafted hearts when she wasn't paying attention to her feelings enough. I glanced down at the latte; it sat prettily in a white china cup, a leaf pattern in delicate milky foam among the pale brown. 

    I wrapped my fingers around it, enjoying the heat that spreads through my hands. Alex sipped at his like it is a great luxury, his face is the same as when he takes a nip of his single malt, relaxed, savouring both the drink and the moment. I tried to have the same type of love for the disgusting drink. So I took another sip, the drink still bitter. I tried to control my facial expressions as I took a bigger sip. This time I let the warm liquid sit on my tongue for longer. There is a flavour there and once accustomed to the bitterness, it steps forth shyly. It is this undertone that is so apparent in the aroma - you can't smell bitterness and so in the warm air of the bakery it is just as heady as the smell of baking bread.

    I must have let my facial expressions show because Alex set his cup down shakily, his eyes clearly revealing the laughter he was hiding. 

    "You can laugh," I sighed defeatedly and theatrically, "I was never good at hiding what I feel." At that, Alex laughed heartily. I was shocked for a second before I joined in. That type of joy had always seemed so infectious to me. 

    "Sorry," he shook his head, his emotions reeling in with more control than I had ever seen in my life, "but you are very interesting. I like your humour," I smiled, nodding my head in thanks. Alex flicked a glance at his watch before shooting me an apologetic smile. 

    "Sorry, I'm needed elsewhere. But it was nice catching up and you have my number so before your university year starts and you ever need a model," I shook my head in disbelief, laughing as he shot me a cheeky grin, "hit me up." 

    "Will do," I smiled. Alex seemed to sober at that, giving me more of a professional smile marred with respect and sadness although I didn't really understand why.

    "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Kennedi Marshall," he said as he retreated out of the dining area. I frowned at his odd behaviour before brushing it off. I picked up another plate and piling it with food for the two sleepy-heads I had left behind. 

    I entered the room and gently put the plate of delectables down on one of the side tables by the bed. I looked at Bryn who seemed to be stirring. I went over to her, holding out a small plate of food that I had noticed she had taken a liking to. I motioned to the door and she quickly got up and following me out with her plate of food.

    "I just want to know if you removed my makeup and put me into the weirdly amazing pyjamas that the plane gives us," I started. Bryn paused if weighing all the options of what she could say. 

    "It wasn't me," she said slowly, putting the little cupcake down, "but I need to eat and this is no where near enough for someone like me. So, I'll be back and maybe when he wakes up, you guys can talk about it." I nodded as Bryn made her way decisively down the halls in a mission to get more food. 

    I sighed, pulling my fingers through my hair worriedly. I didn't particularly want to talk to Nick about it. But maybe it meant something. All I knew was that I couldn't deny the small amount of hope pulling at my heartstrings. 

    I pulled the blanket Bryn had been using off the chair and gently laid it across Nick's shoulders. However, the sudden warmth seemed to have woken him up. His left hand instantly gripped mine tightly and my heart jumped into my throat. This is it I thought blissfully all until he roughly shoved my hand away. It didn't hurt but it shocked me enough to step back. I tried to lighten the increasingly dark mood by cracking a joke.

    "Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," I smiled, looking at the other pull-out chair he was laying on. He rolled his eyes and I tried to ignore the pain in my chest as my heart jumped wildly from side to side. 

    "What bed?" he snapped, "I wouldn't know about waking up on the wrong side of anything considering you took up the entire space meant for two." What? 

    "Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly. He rolled his brown eyes that once reminded me of the earth. Now they looked like the damage a volcano made after exploding. 

    "Leave, Kennedi," The words were short and unexpected and I didn't really know what to do with them, "leave before I actually explode. I don't want you here." I could feel my panic rising. I took a cautious step towards him.

    "Nick," I whispered, reaching a shaking hand out. Nick slapped it away and took three steps backwards. 

    "My name," he said, speaking through clenched teeth, "is Nicolai. Don't you dare come any closer and don't you dare even think of trying to touch me." I faltered, staying where I was.

    "Nic- Nicolai," I tried again, "please, let's-" he looked at me wildly. 

    "I said don't!" He snapped. I felt the familiar chill of heartache run and shiver down my spine. I felt the familiar feel of fear.

    "What's going on?" I asked, willing myself not to cry, "what's your problem?" Nick seemed to click onto that word, his eyes and words both dripping with malice.

    "You, Miss Kennedi Marshall, you are my problem. I should not have tried to become friends with you or buy you that little treat from the bakery. I should not have treated you at the spa or removed your makeup and fixed you up. I shouldn't have treated you like I did but you know what I regret most?" I was almost afraid to answer him but my impulsiveness won. 

    "What?" I asked, my voice barely even a whisper.

    "I regret calling you princess," he snarled, "especially when you're really just a groupie." Outraged and humiliated at being called a groupie, I allowed my feet to melt into the ground. "I'll give you a minute to collect your things," he sneered, shoving me past me to the door. I sank to the floor, grabbing everything that was mine and throwing it messily into my bag. As I packed, I thought back to our entire friendship process that wasn't even really friendship looking back. 

   I tried to think of anything, any small detail that could have potentially caused him to lash out like that. But there was absolutely nothing I had done wrong. 

    All that shouting and blame I thought wretchedly all that pain. And just like that, I was taken back to every single time I had run to Bryn's house in the middle of the night after my mom had found out about Kienai. Just like that, I remembered the flash of fear when I saw the anger light her eyes in a way I hadn't ever seen before. I remembered the sounds of chairs cracking as they hit the walls. I remembered the one tear I had sworn to myself I wouldn't shed. Damn it. 

    I politely asked the flight stewardess if I could switch seats to which she agreed. She led me to my new cabin where Bryn was already sitting in. I tried to keep the tears hidden. She hugged me and I stood stiffly. 

    "I need to get my things," I mumbled around all the words stuck in my throat. She gave me a look of understanding.

    "Take your time." I nodded gratefully and headed towards where we used to stay. I ducked into the room as I watched Nick leave. I took my things and left. 

    As I got to my new room, I noticed Bryn's absence. I left the room, with a note meant for Nick. I wandered around the halls until I heard a familiar voice muffled by the rooms. I stood outside Nick's door, hearing Bryn and Nick, Bryn's voice commanding and confused whilst Nick's was quiet and subdued. I looked at the crumpled note in my hands before shoving it under the door and running away from it. As I ran, I thought back to what I had written;

    To Nicolai Kiener, 

    I'm leaving, not because you asked me to, but because I deserve more respect than spending my time with you. I don't think you need me to write a whole paragraph about what type of person you are because you already know and now, so do I.