"Why do you like this?" Aislynn shrieked, cuddling into me with chattering teeth. "It's baltic!"

We'd arrived at the campsite and had pitched the tent, clamboring inside and snuggling up as soon as possible because Aislynn made an executive decision that was really silly. "Do I need to remind you that I did warn you it's not a good idea to pitch a tent in the rain?" I teased her, planting a kiss on her shaking forehead.

"You're mean." She whined, shifting away from me before realising that she was much colder without me, and moving even closer than before, if that was possible. "Why didn't you stop me, 'oh wise one'?"

Smirking while booping her nose, I responded in a condescending tone. "I tried to but when a certain someone refused to listen, I decided to let her deal with the natural consequences."

"Alright 'gentle parenting pro,' calm down." She replied, her snarky tone making me giggle. It was a newer side of her that I'd seen more recently, and I was loving it. Just as sarcastic as me.

"It's not my fault that my Instagram Reels are all gentle parenting advice videos." I defended. It was definitely the perfect content for me; the single, queer teenager with no intentions of ever being pregnant.

"It kind of is though." She said, making me glare at her. "You keep liking them."

"They're very helpful!"

She whimpered suddenly, her shaking becoming even more intense. I dropped my sarcasm instantly as I checked up on her. Noticing her lips were turning slightly blue, I decided that was enough. I could tease her for her decisions once she wasn't at risk of hypothermia any longer. I scooped her up gently, taking her back to the car where we sat with the engine running and the heating on. "This is cosy." She mumbled, blocking out the midday light with her arm.

I chuckled quietly, continuing to rock her softly. "Isn't it? Look at the loch." I pointed at the glistening water ahead of us, the sun that was emerging from the clouds shining onto it's surface and creating an even brighter gleam. On the water there was a group of kayakers, which gave me a brilliant idea that we could explore later. We sat in a comfortable silence as the heat from the car quickly warmed us up, leaving me with a very sleepy Aislynn. This girl could never get enough sleep. I thought she was completely gone again, before she perked up suddenly, remembering one crucial part of camping.

"Are we having a campfire tonight?" She questioned, trying to stare at the burning ball of gas that was now almost fully visible.

"You bet." I confirmed, slightly startled at her sudden burst of energy.

"With campfire songs?" Suddenly she was the most excited out of us both, and it reminded me of myself as a kid camping for the first time that I could remember. I was always the most excited for campfire, because my mum would bring her ukulele and sing with us. My dad pretended to be enthusiastic about the childish tunes, and I couldn't be more grateful for that. It made for some of the happy memories filling up my, mostly empty, memory cabinet. A lot of the files were missing, but the happier ones stayed until I was ready to unlock the hardest drawers.

"How do you make a fire?" Aislynn asked me, peering over my shoulder as I made a pile of kindling.

"Fire needs three things. Heat, fuel and oxygen. Used to be a special interest of mine, actually. I visited a fire station with my old Scout group once and that was me hooked." I recalled, to her surprise as I reminisced about my childhood again.

"So, the fuel?" She asked, pointing to the small pile of cotton wool and little sticks.

"Yep! And the oxygen." I took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp air that always felt like home.

"We need heat then, right?" She queried, looking as hooked as I was when I was a young girl learning about the fire triangle for the first time. I nodded, and grabbed my flint and steel.

"Could just use a lighter, but this is well cool." I said, starting to make little sparks. Noticing her excitement, I put it down and took hold of her hands, showing her how to hold the flint and steel by herself. I moved our hands as one, smacking the tools against eachother and creating large sparks until eventually the pile lit on fire.

I added in a larger log, watching in satisfaction as it started to burn.

"And that, Miss Aislynn, is your first fire." I watched her in awe as she jumped excitedly, watching it crackle in the mild breeze. Thankfully, it was the quiet kind that aided the flames, rather than extinguising them.

"Fire is so cool." She whispered, resting her head on my shoulder as she watched it grow even further.

"Your hair reminds me of fire." I replied randomly. She instantly looked at me, her eyes filling with tears before she nuzzled herself back into me, crying quietly. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset, sorry." She sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "That's the sweetest compliment I've ever received."

I smiled sadly at her words. Nobody had treated this girl right, clearly, and I would be the first. I absolutely had to be.

"Smores?" I asked her, standing up as she nodded in awe. I grabbed the bag of marshmallows and put some onto two sticks, one pink and white one each. I handed her her stick and we stood over the fire melting them.

"Oh shit, it's on fire!" She squealed, dropping her burning marshmallow onto the grass which also started to catch fire. I stamped it out immediately, laughing at her fright. She apologised, sitting down on the edge of the log.

"You're good. The best ones go on fire. Want another shot?" I handed her another stick after I'd put my melted marshmallows between two chocolate digestives.

"Will I go on fire?" I tried not to laugh at her question while I shook my head. She ended up doing it, but barely even getting her marshmallows to turn brown before she put them on her biscuits. Her face lit up as she tried it, and she begged for another one afterwards which I happily obliged.

After she finished she wiped her mouth, trying to get rid of marshmallow goo that clung to her lip. "Did I get it?" She asked me, and I shook my head, pointing to the bit that remained. She tried again and did get it, but I saw an opportunity.

"Still missed. Let me help." She smirked as I leaned in, waiting for her to nod before kissing her gently. I pulled away after a while, a faint blush covering my cheeks.

"Got it."

Later that night I wandered back from the toilet block, my hands still slightly soggy as I sped back to the tent to find Aislynn so that we could rest. To my surprise, she was sitting on a log holding my mum's ukulele with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Where did you get that?" I gasped, genuinely shocked that she'd managed to grab it in the chaos of leaving home.

"I know how much it means to you. I couldn't leave it there with him." I instantly rushed forwards, throwing my arms around her quickly before moving away and grabbing the ukulele.

I started to strum a quiet tune, and before I knew it, Aislynn had started to sing the Skye Boat Song.

"Speed, bonnie boat, like a bird on the wing..."

I joined her as fast as I could, adding in the little harmonies to our lullaby.

"Over the sea to Skye."

I fought to keep my tears at bay, but I felt the waves of reality crashing down on me. My mum couldn't sing this to me ever again. I knew that I was to blame for that but it didn't help me figure out which way was up fron here in the way that I hoped it would. All I could feel was Aislynn's hands pulling me forward. Helping me strum on my ukulele, without literally guiding my hands until I physically couldn't move through my shaking. She was the only thing that had kept me going since my mum passed, and I was starting to realise that.

I needed to face my grief head on, instead of forcing it down. It was hard, when all I wanted to do was feel nothing. Yet, facing it knowing Aislynn is always with me didn't seem as scary.

"What's wrong, baby?" She whispered, and I just shook my head, starting to sob. I could hear her calming me, her soothing touch keeping me afloat. I remembered a time when I was sinking and I had to teach myself to swim, but I didn't have to do that anymore.

This realisation, on top of realising that I needed to grieve, was too much. I was drowning again. I couldn't even gasp for breath.

A warm touch on my forehead brought some of my focus back, but most of it was on my childhood. Grief turned to sadness, and sadness into anger. In seconds, I found myself on the floor, screaming at the sky to help me. I missed my mum so much, but I was angry at her. So, so angry at her. She left me. She let us live like we did for my entire childhood and then she left me there with him alone.

a/n: that song was genuinely a large part of my childhood, though i have to say it's prettier sung by my mum and even my grandad lmao