"So, what are we doing today?" I asked Aislynn, who was barely just awake as I peered over the bed fully dressed.

"Why are you even out of bed, Mase? You should be resting after yesterday." She spoke, lecturing me on my readiness to start the day. She inspected my neck again, and I brushed it off, mumbling something about me being fine.

"So I'm just meant to what, mope all day?" I complained, exaggerating my question with an eyebrow raise. "I wanna explore!" My whine sounded like that of a child, but I didn't care. I needed the stimulation. And maybe a distraction though I couldn't admit that to Aislynn anymore after my late night realisation.

"I'll take you out later," she groaned, pulling the duvet up over her head for a moment before I heard a muffled, "What time is it?"

"It's already 8 am! The day is getting away from us." I stood back, my hands landing on my hips as I struggled to contain my excitement at her giving into my whines.

"You aren't even a morning person, just come cuddle."

"I am today! Carpe diem and all that shit."

She giggled quietly, to my amusement, and I began to stuff a backpack with our jumpers and a few random things that I knew we wouldn't need, but thought they would help me look like a responsible adult.

"Order room service or something while I get ready." She suggested, passing me the phone. The idea filled me with nerves, I'd taken a look but they didn't sell anything that didn't come with a 'super healthy' free side of banana or some other repulsive food like that. I absolutely could not eat anything from this place.

"Nothing looks good on the menu." I said, instead of revealing my potential regression to Aislynn. She'd been working so hard with me the past few months to try and broaden my safe foods, and it was working, but all it took was any added stress and I was back down my hole. The added stress being from my exams, of course.

"Aww, baby. I'm gonna be dealing with hangry Mayson this morning, hm?" She mocked sympathy, clearly buying my excuse. I wasn't really a breakfast person anyway, so I didn't have to try that hard this time.

"I don't get hangry!" I whined, accidentally letting some of my clear hangry attitude slip out. She didn't know me well enough to know I ever acted any different. Definitely not. We'd only been dating for... who knows how long.

She finally pulled herself out of bed, and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my neck softly from behind. "Should we grab a little something on the way out? There's a Tesco across the road."

And right then, I knew that I'd be eating a Tesco Meal Deal for breakfast. No complaints from me, of course. Absolutely beautiful cuisine.

I suddenly stopped completely as we strolled down the pavement at the outdoor shopping centre. We had just broken free from the grasp of Primark which was it's usual stuffy self. Aislynn smiled at me wondering why we had stopped as I turned to stare at the entrance to the giant Decathlon that was beside me, gasping quietly. I squeezed our interlocked hands closer, and pulled Aislynn through the doors. She squealed quietly, but giggled as she realised where I was going.

"We're going-" I started, before Aislynn interrupted.

"Camping?"

My eyes widened and I nodded. "How'd you know?"

"Are you kidding?" She snorted out a laugh as she noticed me standing there staring at her with the same shocked expression. "Basically the only thing you've told me from your childhood is that you used to go camping like every summer."

"That's not true I've told you plently about me!"

"Uh huh. Name one thing." Her eyebrows raised expectantly. I started to feel a heat rising into my cheeks.

"It's better than the grand total of nothings you've told me about your own childhood." I retorted, regretting it instantly as she looked at the ground sadly, whispering a reply.

"You know why that is."

I did know. Deep within me, I knew exactly why. I just couldn't admit it to myself. We continued marching through the shop until we had reached the tents, and both of our moods instantly perked back up as we looked knowingly at each other. We raced towards the smallest tent, and dove inside of it, landing practically on top of each other as we tested out the sturdiness of it's thin, plastic walls.

"This one?" She asked, turning onto her side so we could lock eyes.

I considered this for a moment, tapping my finger on my chin as I waited for my brain to load. "Nah. Not feeling it."

After we had tested out every single tent, including the Portaloo ones, we circled back to the third one we tried. It's blue door rippled in the wind - by wind I mean Aislynn standing inspecting the price while breathing heavily onto the zip to blow away a loose hair - and the rest of it was a deeper shade of blue, pulled tight by the poles that peaked in the centre.

"Fucking hell, Mase. Two hundred pounds." She practically shouted, and I watched mortified as a young father covered his daughters ears. He reminded me of my dad when I was that young. He didn't want the real world to harm me.

After walking into the shop empty handed, we were now leaving having spent a shameful amount of money on the most basic things that we could have gotten a lot cheaper had we just went back home and opened the garage. It felt good though. My first step to independence, or at least the biggest one so far until I started University in September. I'm now thanking whatever possessed me into deciding to move away for Uni, because I barely had to go home between now and then now that we have this tent and wild camping is always an option.

"Happy?" Aislynn said, startling me out of my daydream as we reached the hotel lobby.

"Mhm! When can we go camping?" I looked like a kid who was waiting for a trip to Disneyland at this point, but to me, they were synonymous. Both entirely thrilling.

"We'll have a look tomorrow at booking a campsite but we can't go until your exams are finished." She responded, giving me her bag so she could find her keycard into the hotel room.

I pouted, unhappy with her nanchalant attitude towards the adventure and the mention of my exams. "Why? I can just not do them the teachers said they'd get me out of them."

"You've already done one now so they can't do that as easily anymore." She responded. I knew she was right but it still annoyed me.  I could just pretend that my grief had just been delayed enough to sit the first one and I was now unfit to do the rest. They didn't have to know that I was over it and I could still perform my best and more in them. I just wanted to go camping with my girlfriend, why did that have to wait?

The way she flopped inside and instantly jumped into bed answered for me, and I quickly took over the role of caring for her. "Aw, Aly. You're so tired." I cooed, leaning down to brush her hair out of her face. "We've done a lot today, you can nap if you want to."

She nodded timidly before replying in the smallest voice I'd heard her use in a long time. "I shouldn't be this tired. I'm sorry."

She broke my heart, being scared to be vulnerable in the way that she was, and it made me want to cocoon her in her blanket and hold her forever.  "Don't be." I reassured her. Sometimes she forgets that she's Autistic, and that Autism is a disability. It really torments her how she can't do stuff 'normally' without getting overwhelmed. In my excitement, it hadn't occurred to me that that included shopping for camping equipment. "Stuff is bound to be more tiring for you, for both of us really, but you mask a lot."

"I guess I do." She admitted, her eyes starting to close even further. "I just don't wanna ruin the day or whatever."

"The day is over whenever we decide, and I am declaring this day over. Okay?" She nodded gently as I encouraged her to sit up, asking for her consent before sliding her t-shirt off and replacing it with her pyjamas. "You could never ruin anything, because any time spent with you, whatever state you're in, is time well spent. My preferred pastime, actually."

I let her change her own trousers, looking away to give her more privacy as if I hadn't taken them off myself a few times before. "You're sweet." She yawned mid word and after my request, lay straight back down.

"And you're exhausted." I changed myself and turned out the lights before sliding under the duvet with her, instantly hating the feeling of the sheet beneath us. The ones in hotels were always stiff and I hated the feeling. I was grateful to have somewhere to sleep so I just tried to ignore it but Aislynn still noticed my discomfort. She had a way of knowing exactly what I was thinking.

"You bought a sleeping bag." She reminded me, and elaborated further when I stared at her in confusion. "Sleep in that if the sheets are bothering you, Mase."

I nodded at her thoughtful suggestion, and carefully went to grab the sleeping bag before sliding into it and back into bed. She nuzzled into my side, and then the pillow, and then the other pillow, while I laughed at her antics.

"You need a better pillow?" I teased her, patting my chest as she nodded in delight and snuggled on top of me, like my own weighted blanket.

"I love you." She said, her eyes finally dropping completely shut.

"I love you, too." I replied, kissing the top of her head gently, although I doubted that she heard or felt either because of how tired she was.

a/n: doing final edits and im realising how much time these guys spend sleeping... oh well imma let myself away with it its my first book im trying to be gentle with critiquing myself lmfao