TW: Abuse, language

8 years ago

A

LEXIS

I ran as fast as my little legs would carry me. I took a sharp turn and hid in the darkness, hoping he wouldn't follow me.

Carina was at camp. I told her I didn't want to go. I lied. He made me stay.

Just then, his hand came in front of my face and squeezed it. Really hard. I could already feel the metallic taste of blood inside my mouth.

I tried to get out of his grip. But it was tight. He picked me up and threw me onto the ground. Light shining in my eyes.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He kicked my already bruised stomach.

"I had to go to the grocery-"

"I don't fucking care." He pulled my hair and threw me around once more, my body crashing with the metal box, digging into my side, slashing it open.

"What the fuck did I tell you, huh?" His breath smelled of strong alcohol. I tried not to breathe it in. 

"To come home straight after work, make you dinner and pretend I don't exist," I replied. My voice, not rising.

"And what the fuck did you do?" He kicked my other side, causing me to dog into the metal box further.

"I- I didn't come straight home and I used your Money for food that we don't need." He breathed into my face.

"Correct. And now you're getting punished for it." He punched my face making blood come out and then proceeded to smash beer bottles onto me before turning and leaving.

When I was sure the door closed, I tried to pick myself up but the pain was too much. The glass shards dug painfully into my skin. The slash on my side that would surely need a stitch was burning due to the drops of alcohol on it.

Every single move felt like my skin was on fire. My old wounds added to the trauma. I picked my head enough to look at myself in the mirror in front of me.

All I saw was a broken girl. Far too shattered to be fixed again.

I'm never going to be enough. Never going to be strong. Never going to be fixed again.

With that last thought, I closed my eyes and succumbed to the darkness. Letting it pull me down into the abyss.

 
PRESENT DAY

I woke up in a cold sweat. Sitting up, I heaved. Breathe in, breathe out. I tried to follow this but I started shaking violently.

Need air.

I threw my covers aside and ran towards the door. Clumsily running on the stairs, all my eyes could see was the big window that led to the garden. Outside.

What I didn't see though is the coffee table. I crashed and fell painfully on my side. I saw a hand reach out to me. Maybe to help, but it never actually reached me. Another hand pulled it away from me.

I closed my eyes shut for a second. 

"Alex, Tesoro, you okay?" I opened my eyes to see Ace standing there with another man.

His body is well defined. His muscles are visible through his thin button-up. His face was perfect. Well-defined cheekbones, plump lips, perfect brows, and the softest looking hair that seem too real to be.

But it was his eyes that drew me in. His beautiful green eyes. They spoke of a gentle soul, of modesty and appearances.

I picked myself off the floor as Ace checked me for injuries.

"My head," I told him, pointing towards my forehead which had already started swelling. Ace's eyes widened before he rushed towards the kitchen, leaving me with the other guy.

I looked towards him to find him staring at my bare legs. I forgot I was wearing shorts. I smirked as I plopped down onto the sofa.

"I know I have the best genes, but you don't have to keep staring." His eyes widened.

"I wasn't staring, I was just thinking that it's cold."

"Mhm, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Who are you by the way."

"Aiden Dimitrov. I'm Ace's friend and we're business partners." He kept staring.

"How old are you? And why the fuck are you here in the middle of the night?

"Nineteen and Ace wanted to talk to me. Urgently." His brows furrowed as I looked at him suspiciously. "Girl troubles." He added it as an afterthought.

"Mhm. And what makes you an expert on the topic?"

"I-" lucky for him, Ace came to me with an ice pack at that very moment. He pressed the cold thing against my forehead where the bump was forming.

"What happened?" He said sitting down beside me.

"Nightmare. Haven't had one in a really long time. I thought they went away."

"Right, do you need anything?" Concern was clear on his face. I shook my head.

"Do you mind if I go for a walk? I'll be on the property line and I won't wander." Ace looked conflicted. But before he could say anything Aiden jumped in.

"You're wearing that?" He exclaimed. His eyes traveling to my exposed legs once again. I was about to tell him his place when he spoke again.

"I meant it's late at night. You'll not be safe out alone. You can take Marco with you. He's a great bodyguard and he'll keep you safe." Aiden finished. Ace looked at him confused.

"Sure, yeah. You better not let anyone touch a hair on her fucking head or you'll be dead before you know it." Ace looked at Marco and said. Marco, who was a big guy, still nodded and gulped a little.

I shrugged. Too tired to argue. I was going to leave through the front door when Aiden stopped me once more.

His hand was outstretched and a jacket was hanging from it. "It's cold out" he mumbled under his breath as he looked at my sleeveless top.

"Er, okay."

I shrugged the jacket on which seemed to come lower than my shorts, was extremely warm, and smelled so damn good. Like butterscotch.

I turned to walk towards the front door as I opened it and let the fresh air in. Freedom.

With each stride my mind became more clear, more resolute, as if the growing physical distance between my nightmares had now become an emotional chasm. As the nascent moonlight caressed my skin, promising new dawn, a new beginning, I entombed my memories of him in thick-walled ice.

Then, abruptly pausing to close my eyes and take in a deep breath of dewy air, I steeled myself to only think of my future from here on in. A future I would mold, build, direct. Then with each stride after that, I felt more in charge, in command of my own mind, body, and soul. I was a girl walking into her own destiny, a destiny that lay squarely in my own hands. 

I returned from my walk to find Ace and Aiden in deep discussion. While j was on the walk, I talked to Marco. Who turns out has some really juicy gossip about Aiden but he refuses to tell me.

Ace and Aiden both looked up from where I stood.

"How're you feeling," Ace asked me.

"Good, great. The fresh air did me good." Ace smiled at me.

"That's good to hear." I smiled back at him and shrugged Aiden's jacket off myself.

"Here," I said handing it over to him. "Nah, you keep it. Keep yourself warm." He replied casually, waving a hand in the air.

"Um, okay?" I replied with uncertainty. He flashed me a smile as I went towards my room. I heard Ace say something to Aiden, but I couldn't hear.

I fell onto my bed and tossed the jacket onto my chair before letting exhaustion take over me and lull me to sleep.

The wound, the injury to my flesh will heal long before I am able to heal my brain. Trauma is that way. Yet with time, with someone good to talk to, I will be well once more.
____________