The strain on my back was as if a cow had stepped on my nape. Carried along were pieces of gold and silver, and the wounds were from the long journey, heading toward the path of the end. Many have said that true happiness lies along the road leading to the river of flowing blood.

When I reached the foot of the bridge to the lieutenant, my kindness was tested, and hunger was evident in the eyes of the children, their eyes gleaming. "Rabai, do you have anything to give, even if it's just for a week, as long as my hunger is satisfied," they pleaded. Just a silver coin for their stomachs.

Mercy is always spoken of by others, but their own self-improvement never grips their thoughts. There was a knock, and a Roman soldier opened the door, "Come in, Lieutenant Bueno has been waiting for you."

I placed down the sack filled with supplies, enough to feed seventeen or nineteen families for eight months. "Well done, Felipe. You may leave now. But of course, I won't forget the reward for your excellence-forty gold coins and ten silver pieces. "As I was leaving, I asked, "Are we doing this by the orders from above? Or are we following our own desires and intentions?" He laughed heartily at my question.

"Bravo, Amigo! Such laughter is priceless," he said, wearing a uniform adorned with medals from the highest ranks, symbols of his loyalty and bravery in war. "Did we not stand firm? When we were on a mission to suppress the dissenters and evil spirits for the sake of prosperity?"⁷ I raised my eyebrow and asked, "Is it a crime to disobey, or is it more of a crime to lack humanity?"

The weight of something can be measured by the womb and the sources of life. Wings flap and take flight, but the sun brings down those who try to soar too high.

"Suppress them?" I asked. "Are you referring to those cast into oblivion, who were left to fend for themselves? We carry weapons, but binding a child is an act of powerlessness."⁸

"Are you philosophizing with me?! You wrap yourself in the cloak of responsibility, you carry out these deeds, yet do you not realize that what they truly want is your very flesh?!"⁹ he said, without a single tear or sign of remorse in his eyes. Compassion for creatures as fleeting as the wind, barely recognizable.

By the command of the higher-ups, the cold and chilling grip around my neck tightened. No one has the right not to follow the law. Before I opened the door, I said, "Serving the demon's servants will become who we are. Goodness exists only in dreams or in the twilight of one's life."

As I closed the door, I walked away. In November, I would finally return to Damascus. With every step, the bones of my civil soldier's body were drawn upward, carrying me toward the heavens.

Suddenly, something hit me like a stone. What was it? Could it be a star-was it God descending to earth? Or a race with the power to erase what was once called the world?