I wake up panting again. My forehead beading in sweats and my entire body drenched in it. My breathing heavy and the only sound I could hear was the drumming of my heart. As if ready to burst any second now.

Releasing a deep sigh, I look around in the darkness, my eyes as sharp as ever. I was in my room, laying on my bed.

A warm touch on my shoulder makes me whip my head around in alarm but those familiar green eyes that even lights through the darkness comforts me. Just a little.

"You are okay."

My vacant thoughts slowly comes together and my hands immediately flies up to cover my eyes, to hide myself, my breathing once again skyrockets. But she just grabs my wrists and gently pulls my hands down, away from my face. A small smile tugs the corner of her lips upwards as she looks at me. That smile of hers, the only reassurance that I needed.

"It's alright."

It was alright. And just like that my breathing calms, knowing what she meant. She had once again sealed it off.

The earth heals all.

But until when? How long? It was not enough.

As the years passes by, I became more unstable. No matter how powerful she was, her powers alone was not enough to keep this hideous self of mine concealed. The self that I despised every time I saw my own reflection. The self that I hated enough to seal it off completely.

From everyone. From myself.

Even though she always told me I was beautiful just as I was. That these differences make me who I am. That I was a goddess blessing.

I don't know when, but I stopped believing those words.

As I grew up, I only saw the opposite of what she saw. I saw what others saw and what they saw was not appealing. It was distressing. These differences made me an outcast. Even if no one voiced it, I could read their eyes.

Those judgemental eyes. They never lie.

A royal born without a gift. A princess but an outcast. A being so pure yet so dark. Almost hideous.

Respect because of authority and acknowledgement because of title was not the recognition that I wanted. I never earned their trust and vice versa I never gave them mine.

Even though I grew up surrounded by them, they were never able to look past my appearance. The pack that was meant to make me feel like home, made me feel like an outsider. The pack that was meant to protect me, ended up attacking me with their unkind eyes.

My pack will only ever see me as my mother's daughter and give me the respect they could give, not the respect I deserve. So, I stopped.

I stopped trying.

I closed myself off and only let a few people to stay in my life. I built myself a wall surrounded by them and hid behind that perfectly built wall. I hid myself from their judging eyes, their assumptious thoughts. From everyone and everything altogether.

I let them think what they believed. And I let them believe I was weak, undeserving. One who needed protection, support.

But in truth, I was more than capable of protecting myself and the ones around me. I was strong. I made myself so.

"Want to talk about it?" My mom's soft voice brings me out of my dark thoughts.

I exhale loudly, looking away from her to my dark surrounding which was still clear as day. I watch as she gets up and heads towards the window.

The blinding sun comes flooding into my dark world as soon as the curtains gets lifted. "I don't know what to do." I don't know what I want to do.

I spread my palms that's been sitting on my lap and wait. Wait for it to happen again. But nothing happens.

"I thought I was strong. I thought I could win." I scoff hearing my own lies. What was I thinking?

"Who am I trying to convince when I am a coward myself, a-"

The warmth of a soft hand on my cheek stops me from rambling further. I fall into her deep eyes that were as green as the darkest forest but bright enough to cut through the darkness. It was warm and peaceful.

And she had this unwavering smile on her face. She saw what I could never see. What I will never be able to see.

"I know that my daughter is the strongest of all. She is a true warrior. She's fierce but she's kind. She is my greatest gift from the goddess." Once again, she sits down in front of me and pulls me into her embrace. "I know it all. I see it all."

She sighs softly as she gently combs my hair. "You are too kind. Too innocent. You pretend to be fine. You pretend that you don't hear it. But I do. Oh, my poor child. I know just how much you are hurting inside. And I'm so sorry that I remained quiet. Only watched from the distance."

My lips starts trembling as I bury my head into the crook of her neck, seeking warmth and acceptance. Seeking love and hope.

"Because I know you are so much stronger than what everyone thinks. And you'll find that strength one day. You just need to have some patience and a lot more of courage. Someday, someone will appear before you and take all your pain away, stand in front of you and be that unbreakable shield. Well, I just hope it's sooner."

She keeps caressing my hair gently as she whispers into my ear while I tightly hold onto her. "Just hold on a little longer, my princess. The goddess sees everything, Althea..."

And just like that, I break once again. I pour a downcast and form a puddle of my pain. But I nod my head. There will come a day when I don't have to hide anymore. When I don't have to feel this pain.

Whoever you are, I just hope that you find me sooner...

"I'll be alright." I smile at my parents who held a worried look on their face.

My dad pulls me into his embrace for the millionth time and I hear my mom's soft giggles. "You sure, you don't want to come with us. You sure, you are going to be fine here. If you want, I can stay-"

I quickly shake my head before he says anything more. "Dad, I'm fine. See." I let go of him and do a quick twirl, reassuring him again. "See?"

He too shakes his head and scoffs. "But if anything happens, anything, you need to let me know, okay?"

"I will, dad."

He nods his head and turns to face the two in front of us just as my mother pulls me in an embrace of her own. "You two will immediately report anything and everything to me, no matter how minor it may be. Is that understood?"

Dad has his arms across his chest as he looks at my two, now timid looking, cousins who nods their head in sync. Egan nervously scratching the back of his neck with his eyes glued to the ground while Alex had his head turned slightly to the side to escape from my dad's hard glare.

"I expect you to take better care of her, Alex."

"Yes, uncle." Alex quickly straightens up with a tight lip and looks at my dad while nodding his head. Full on warrior mode.

"Koraki." My dad extends a hand for my mom, the harsh lines on his face vanished, replaced by a sweet smile. She lets me go and takes his hand, falling into his embrace. "Anything happens, you call me. Okay?" 

My dad says sternly, looking straight at me. I knew that he had his own source, but he wants me to be the one to tell him. My overprotective father. But I know he was just worried about me. Of his frail little daughter. "I will dad."

He places a light peck on my forehead and both of them hug me one more time. Finally, they make their way to the black car, awaiting them and drives off with two other cars right behind them.

As I watch their vehicles disappear from my sight, I promise myself one thing. I will not be that daughter anymore. I cannot make them worry about me every day for the rest of eternity.

I will hide it better. I will become much stronger.

Whatever ate my heart, either needs to be discovered or buried deep within. For eternity. I cannot go on like this any longer.

I cannot be this.

For I am a bloodline royal.