A/N: I can't believe I'm continuing this but you guys want me to keep going and I'll just keep going til I dry up of ideas cos I have a few floating around in my head with this. I hope you enjoy this one but I must warn you to have the tissue box next to you because I'm telling you now you'll need it. Happy reading!    

~*~

Pam opened her eyes to see Sasha and Sami looking down at her very worried and scared but they were very relieved that Pam had woke up. Sasha helped Pam to sit up and as soon as Pam saw her kids she just burst into tears as Sasha bent down and hugged Pam close to her as Pam wailed her heart out as she remembered why she was there; Fergal.

"Go in and see him Pam, go be with him" Sasha said to her as Pam was calming down she knew she had to be strong for her kids but especially for Fergal.

Pam nodded and she slowly got up on her feet with help from Sasha. She took a deep breath and slowly walked towards Fergal's room, her hand was shaking as she reached out to open the door. Walking in Pam saw Fergal laying there in the hospital bed machines hooked all over his body and all you can hear is the beeping sound of the heart machine filling the room. Tears fell down her face as she approached him, sitting down next to him Pam reached over and took his hand in hers before leaning down and placing a light kiss on top of his hand holding close to her chest.

"We can't lose you Fergal. I can't lose you. You can't leave me not now, not like this. We were supposed to grow old together, there is still so much to do and you still have so much to give. In the end nothing means anything except you and our family that we made together our big beautiful family. You've got to keep fighting, you can't walk away from your kids, our kids Fergal. You have a duty to them, to me. Please you have to be here for our kids, you have to be here for me Fergal" Pam said quietly sobbing.

".......Pamela......." Fergal said hoarsely, struggling.

"Yes, Fergal it's me, I'm here. Please listen to me and keep fighting, keep fighting for us, for our kids" Pam said leaning closer to him and placing her hand on his cheek.

"........ nooooooo.........." Fergal hoarsely said again, before throwing his head back struggling.

"It is Fergal, you have to fight. Ava needs to know you, she needs to know how much you love her and how much you love Mia and the rest of our kids" Pam said getting up and laying on the bed next to him, holding him.

"........Ava,...Mia........ our kids......... I love them........... all of them..........." Fergal said his voice still hoarse and tears started falling down his face.

" I know you do Fergal and they will always love you" Pam replied still laying there holding him.

"......... Mia......... I didn't......... I didn't.......... dump her.........." Fergal said hoarsely as he started to cry.

"Shhhhh I know Fergal, I know you didn't  and Mia knows that too" Pam said sitting up and cupping his face.

"........... I.......... love........ you......... I......... love....... you.........always. ...........you......... have......... been........ the.......... one........... for...........me" Fergal whispered hoarsely, turning his head to look at Pam.

"I love you, I love you too, always. You've been the one for me too Fergal" Pam said softly, crying as she cupped his face again and leaned in towards him as Fergal again whispered hoarsely "....... I........ love........ you......." as their lips touched and they kissed each other.

~*~

Soon all of their kids had come to see their dad to say their final goodbyes. They were all in the  room with him eldest to youngest. One by one they'd go up to him saying their goodbyes, all crying. Soon it was just Pam and the babies Mia and Ava. Mia crawled up onto the bed and cuddled up to Fergal, crying.

"........Mia, ........my sweet ..........Mia ..........I ...........love ............ you. .........I ............love you ...........so .............much" Fergal whispered, he was getting weaker and weaker and his body was slowly shutting down.

"I love you too Daddy!" Mia said crying as she held her daddy tightly, before she reached up and kissed him on the cheek and Fergal kissed her on top of the head.

After Mia crawled off Fergal, Pam placed Ava on Fergal's chest so he can see and hold her. Smiling at Ava, Fergal began to cry as he leaned down and placed a kiss on her head and Ava didn't seem scared of Fergal if anything she reached up and played with his beard as Fergal laughed and cried.

"Ava........... oh my........... Ava. .........always .......... remember.............. that........... your............ daddy.............. loves............... you............" was all Fergal could say as he was going in and out of sleep, his eyes struggling to stay open.

Pam took Ava off Fergal and turned and took Mia by the hand taking them out of the room and left them with Sasha who was waiting outside to collect the girls and take them so Pam can stay with Fergal these last hours he has left. Fergal was so weak now that the doctors removed most of the machines and he was only hooked onto the machine that was keeping his heart beating and you could hear the machine beeping as his heart beat, but his heart was giving up too. The next hour Fergal was in incredible pain as the doctors removed the last machine that was hooked up to him to keep his heart going, now it was only a matter of time.

"Help me, .............. help me............. Pamela. ......... it hurts......." Fergal gasped in pain, he was in pain now and it was unbearable and Pam was doing all she could so he wouldn't be in pain.

"It's okay Fergal, I know it hurts, it's okay it will pass. I'm here and I'm not leaving you" Pam sobbed cupping his face as she looked him in the eyes, placing a kiss on his lips. 

"I'm...... tired, ........I'm ........ so........ tired...." Fergal barely said horsely his eyes closing as his breathing slowed down

"Oh Fergal, It's okay. Everything is going to be okay now" Pam said still sobbing as she ran her hand across his cheek.

"My................ Squish.............." Fergal said opening his eyes to look at Pam one more time who was smiling at him, the tears falling down her face as she leaned in to kiss him one last time.

"My Loser..........." Pam said against his lips sobbing and at that moment Fergal's arm dropped from around her waist and he fell limp in her arms.

"Fergal........... FERGAL! Oh my god no, ohhhhhh nooooo! Oh god no Fergal, please not Fergal oh god pleeeeease. Take me please god take me not Fergal, NOT FERAL, NOOOOOOOOO!" Pam wailed in anguish sobbing uncontrollably as she held a lifeless Fergal in her arms rocking him back and forth.........

...

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you. 

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to beI've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

A/N: I'm crying right now fuck that was hard to write especially with that song playing in the background as I was typing, but it had to be done. Now that's how you write a death scene Jordan 😉 I hope you guys had the tissues cos I told you you'll need them. Fergal dies in Pam's arms just as I saw it! Anyways let me know what you guys think. Should I keep going or end it here????