I'm afraid to die thinking in what  i did when I'm still alive did i do good to people ? did i  do bad things?  is my attitude towards the people so round me. make them think of me?

I'm afraid to die. things that make my heartbeat go berserk, that out of control, thinking most of my entire life i did bad. to satisfy my cravings .

my head is clouded of negativity I don't want to think this. but my thoughts keep Wondering I'm afraid to go to hell. but I'm facing the dilemma that only my self , those whispering of adult will keep going?

why do they keep on giving harsh looks? there's judgement seems to satisfy themselves that make them perfect. but in reality no one perfect.

I'm afraid to leave this world yet deep down i know we all die.  this anxiety keep on but in every day i open my eyes a sigh of relief that i survive.

what do people afraid most of the time lost money? family? fame? friend? there lands? why do people fighting.?  but in the end of deathbed they grip on God. begging to let them to be alive. then some forgotten what they did . my heartbeat is beating loudly it's like drum.

losing the live that i cherish and become bones that worms will eat and my soul will depart from my body. i couldn't stop the tears that fell being a bad person that couldn't redeem there self. keep on struggling on surviving in the harsh people the world is not the harsh it's the people who live on it. they keep making ruckus on small things.

i hate living but i don't want to die does it make sense?  nothing to compare to being alone to be mocked by the perfectionists people. who think they don't have dirt on their live
being in the corner while others busy doing they're daily routine.

while I'm dwelling myself alone fighting the argue to commit suicide ironic right? a person who's afraid to die and go to hell, commiting suicide? pathetic. compering to the people who's already dead to person who's alive cherish them. being a small what are you afraid?

i hate myself for feeling this can i alternate myself to other dimensions and don't be born to think this things that to other people seem pathetic.

whispering of temptation keep on provoking I'm going crazy live is too short have fun, that some say does having fun doesn't quite right having fun mean you need to suffer too. people who keep on fighting to survive, people think killing there self Will solve there problem but come to realization that they wasted the time.

i don't know why my thoughts seems to be awful, that some don't understand things out if hands a petty things that make me think so deep that make me conclude the afterlife i am weak. scared to face the fact that I'm a bad person that should face the consequences. that's why I'm afraid  it clear that nothing will last .

it either your time is up, or you have  the option to keep on survive.

my name will nothing a small frey in this world an average person who seldom there self I'm B to no one, and that it the rest is up to you.