Chapter Notes: Caleb's POV

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- 'I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones. . .' -

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     There was nothing akin to the feeling of the wind as you passed it by. Nothing like the sound of the earth beneath your feet as it roared in praise. Nothing like the burning touch of the red once it consumed your entire being from within, nor the gentle caress of the blue as it wrapped itself around you like a cocoon until you were ready to break free to embrace the flames.

     There was no other feeling like freedom.

     To run without limits, without thoughts and without boundaries. To forget who you were to embrace what you were; to forget what you had to do and doing what you wanted. I was almost positive that there was no greater feeling than the power of the four, in perfect balance, as it flowed freely through my veins.

     Until now.

     My wolf had never been so angered, wild and determined as it had in the moment we felt that our mate was in trouble. Just as quickly as the feeling washed over us, I had given into my nature without hesitation and urged my wolf to track her down and dispose of anything and everything that dared to threaten her. Protecting her was the single most important thought on our mind. The range of feelings—despair and anguish, infuriation and terror, desperation and panic—sparked by the unknown status of our mate and created by the coupling of urgency and chaos birthed a thrill like no other. A thrill that offered a whole lot more than freedom ever had.

     The roars of the earth chanted me on as I raced into the forest behind her neighbourhood, and the wind, which held her scent, led me straight to her location. The darkness of the night did not deter my race towards her; the light of the moon was all I would ever need along any dark path. Still in human form, I discarded my clothes along the way, not at all concerned where they landed.

     Now! My wolf commanded and I obeyed.

     I felt him push his way to the surface and welcomed the flames as they consumed my entire being within. I had long ago become desensitized to the pain of shifting; the pain had become more of a high. On all fours, I had managed to locate Ava-Rain within seconds. She was laying in the grass with a wolf hovered over her unconscious body and ready to move in for the kill. I charged towards them and knocked the wolf off of her seconds before its teeth were able to sink into her neck. The unexpected blow had sent it back little more than ten feet. I positioned myself in front of Ava-Rain and snarled, letting it be known that she was not to be touched. The wolf quickly recovered and got back on its feet, teeth barred and crouched backwards, ready to pounce. Its tail thrashed around violently as it stood in a defensive stance. It was clear that it had no intention of standing down and it was a challenge that I was willing and ready to take on. It had already dared to touch what was mine, and for that, death was the penalty to pay. The ultimate sentence.

     The wolf made the first move and lunged at me. I met it half way as we collided in the air then fell to the ground. It charged at me repeatedly, and each time I was able to thwart his attempts while maintaining a relatively close distance between Ava-Rain and myself. It was not long before the other wolf's energy began to decrease. It was getting frustrated and lashing out rather than fighting. It was allowing its anger to consume it, and as a result, its mistakes kept piling on. It didn't take very long to realize that the wolf was nothing more than a pup, probably a rogue or a T&D.

     Every wolf under the moon was a son or daughter of Luna. Enemy or foe, we all bled the same blood. Killing another wolf was not something to be proud of and certainly not something to be praised. But a threat was still a threat. I had no choice but to kill it. If it had not been Ava-Rain, then it could have easily been someone else, someone who would not have been as lucky. Once I managed to outmaneuver it and gain the upper hand, within the blink of an eye, I sunk my teeth into the pup's neck and tore out its throat. The blood that filled my mouth was hardly a taste of victory. The lifeless body that laid beneath me was not a trophy. Death was not a celebration.

     I walked over to Ava-Rain's unconscious body and looked her over to make sure that she had not been seriously harmed. There were scratches on her hands and forearms as if she had tried to defend herself. Despite the wolf's death, the anger inside of me only intensified upon the sight of my bruised mate. Even if I had not put them there myself, every scratch and bruise she had endured because of my choice to stay away from her. My choice to leave her unprotected was the reason why she laid there before me.

     I shifted back into human form, gathered her in my arms and carried her back through the forest. Along the way, I retrieved my clothes and only released her long enough to dress myself. I would have much rather explained myself to her when she awoke in my bed than explain my naked appearance had she woken up in my arms.

     And I had all intentions of taking her straight to my home and into my bed.

     I did not remember exactly when I decided to give in to Ava-Rain or if it had even been a decision. I had tried my hardest to forget her after last night, and although I had failed miserably, I kept myself otherwise occupied in an attempt to distract myself from the thought of her. To forget my want and need for her. But every path that I took to diverge myself away from her only ended up bringing me back to her. My body needed her, my mind was consumed by her and my heart yearned for her. Every step that I took to separate us further only increased that stupid ache in my chest.

     My body had refused to relax. My mind had contemplated desertion. My heart had threatened to cease. And when the minutes had turned to hours since I had last seen her, my wolf refused to yield in submission and would not listen to reason. He wanted her and only her and I had no choice but to oblige. I had given in and allowed him to seek what we both wanted. And the moment I accepted her, I had gained a sort of sense for her. We had become linked, even if not officially.

     There were certain things in my world that you just did not bother to question because you would either be left further confused, would not like the answer, or simply be forced to accept the 'It's Luna's will' response. When a wolf found its mate, they simply became linked, two halves of one soul. So as a result, I was able to sense Ava-Rain's feelings-if they were intense enough-even if it was nothing more than a faint tug inside of my mind. And when she had driven me past the brink of insanity, I made a trip to her friend Jennifer's house—thanks to my delta, Rickon-and managed to find out her address within a minute.

     I had spent some time with the newfound information, contemplated whether or not it would have been wise to pop back in her life. I swear, it was as if I had been transformed back into a pup, questioning if she would reject me or deem me as some sort of stalker. I wondered if given the chance, if I were able to look into her eyes, would I see that flicker of realization once more? The one that had assured me that she felt just as connected to me as I did to her? I even contemplated rejection and that had alarmed me.  I didn't doubt that this human girl harboured the power to destroy me. I was an alpha. A leader to my pack. Someone important. Someone that was idolized. I had the four in my blood and Ava-Rain made all of that seem so insignificant, as though none of it mattered if it were not to be shared with her.

     So I knew that I had to find her. See her. Talk to her. I had to look into her eyes, had to see my reflection within them as if it was the most important thing. Had to touch her and feel her warmth underneath my fingertips as if that was the most important thing. I needed to hear her voice, needed to hear my name slip past her lips, even if just once, as if my sanity depended on it. As if my life—the same life that she was sucking out of me—depended on it. Ava-Rain had become much more than just my mate. She was my beginning and my end. My life and my death. My damnation and my salvation.

     It was torture, although I'm sure my initial rejection of her only strengthened and fueled the intensity of the connection as it formed. That, or Luna was trying to make it as mentally painful as possible just to spite me. It did not make any damned sense, and yet I had found myself outside of her house. When I should have wiped her from my memory, there I was, walking towards her door and cursing myself for wanting her yet practically running closer to her home. I hated her for bewitching me but the moment I felt her fear and pain, realization had washed over me and I knew that fate was going to kick my ass and make me her bitch.

     When I finally reached my car, I gently placed Ava-Rain in the back seat, closed the door softly and pulled out my phone from my pocket. Bringing her home was out of the question because how exactly could I have explained her appearance, or mine for that matter, to her parents? Besides, leaving her again was not an option so parting from her in any sort of way or removing her from my line of vision was not going to happen.

     Before I even got the chance to call my betas, my phone rang. A quick glance at the screen before answering the call told me that it was Kane. In my haste to find Ava-Rain I had shut my self off from my pack, something an alpha rarely did.

     "What the hell is going on? Where have you been, Caleb?"

     I heard Chase's voice in the background telling Kane to calm down.

     "I'm fine, Kane. I have Ava-Rain." My eyes had not departed from her unconscious body once. I watched her through the window, my eyes trailed over the scratches and bruises but they always retreated back to her face. She had endured hell, yet still managed to look so peaceful. So beautiful.

     "You what? What do you mean you have her?"

     "It's a long story. A rogue pup attacked her outside of her neighbourhood."

     "Damage control?" I knew Kane and Chase were already on the move and making preparations. "Where?"

     I told them where the neighbourhood was located as well as the forest and where to find the wolf. As angered as I still was, I did not once try to disguise the sadness in my tone, nor did Kane. The wolf was just a pup, most likely a newly turned which meant that death was his sentence long before I granted it to him.

     "Chase and I will take care of it."

     "I'm taking her home. I need to keep her with me, make sure she's okay. Let me know when it's done."

     "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. No surprise visits." I could practically see the smirk on his face by the sound of his tone. "I'll tell the boys you're not to be disturbed. I can't believe you're kidnapping her, Caleb," he laughed, and when Chase's laughter joined in, I hung up.

     I quickly got inside of my car and drove off. It took less than twenty minutes to get to my downtown condo, a place I stayed from time to time whenever I felt the need to seclude myself from my pack. My stays never lasted longer than a day or two, so there wasn't a need for a lot of furniture. Or food, for that matter. For the most part, my time was spent with my pack at our den, my true home, but given the current circumstances, taking Ava-Rain to my condo was the better alternative. I needed to take care of her and  that was something I had to do alone.

     I didn't pay much attention to the curious glances thrown my way by the onlookers in the lobby. I'm sure that it looked like nothing more than me carrying a sleeping woman in my arms, but I knew most humans had the annoying ability to construe the obvious truth into something more horrific and fabricated. So as much as it pained and annoyed me to do so, I offered them soft smiles and reassuring comments. Once inside my condo, I headed straight to my room and gently placed her on the bed. She had not stirred once the entire ride over; her peaceful expression had not faltered. I probably should have woken her up and kept her awake incase she had sustained a head injury, but, again, I knew-without knowing how I knew-that she was fine. Ava-Rain was safe, she was asleep, she was in my bed, and she was fine.

     I had not bothered to turn on any of the lights in the condo nor the one in my bedroom. The ceiling to floor length window allowed the moonlight to gracefully fall upon her sleeping form, proudly displaying her beauty. It illuminated her radiant brown skin and guided my gaze towards the beauty mark that sat just above her full lips, then over her high cheek bones and up to her long eye lashes. How the hell could somebody be so damned perfect?

     I got up and headed to my master bathroom to retrieve a warm damp cloth. A minute or two later, I returned to the sleeping beauty laid out on my bed. First, I wiped away all traces of dirt that dared to taint her face, then began to clean the cuts on her arms with a gentleness I sure as hell didn't know I harboured. In order to gain better access to her wounds, I removed her sweater, though the reward of being able to gaze at more of her skin was hardly unwelcome.

     An hour or so later, I managed to get her tucked in underneath the sheets. What should have taken no more than fifteen minutes due to the little damage she endured ended up taking forty-five minutes. Every time my skin came into contact with hers, I could not bring myself to pull away. Each and every time my fingers grazed her skin, a spark would shoot throughout my entire body without fail. The girl was killing me. She was unconscious and yet still managing to kill me. The additional fifteen minutes consisted of me just gazing down at her.

     My wolf was content, as was I. We had our mate, and for however long or short, we basked in the fact that, even if only for a short period of time, Ava-Rain was ours. In those moments, she was mine and I was hers. She needed me as I had needed her. Even if she had woken up right then and there and the first thing that I saw in her eyes was fear or hate, nothing would or could ever take that memory or knowledge away.

     No woman could ever do what an unconscious Ava-Rain had done to and for me.

     Ava-Rain had managed to bring out a part of me that had died a long time ago. She was laying in my bed, passed out, enticing me with her beauty and perfection and still managed to revive a part of me that needed to be kept buried. No woman, no wolf, no human had ever been capable of committing such an act. Women wanted my hardness; they wanted the dominant man they knew me to be and their need for that man allowed them to accept my coldness. They accepted that I would never care for them, accepted the roughness, accepted the passion that never went beyond desire or lust. They accepted that there would never be an emotional attachment on my part. That they would never have my heart. A heart I had not realized until that moment was never mine to give but for Ava-Rain to claim.

     After trying to make her as comfortable as possible, I grabbed a towel and headed inside the bathroom. My clothes were quickly discarded before I hopped into the shower. Due to my nature, the minor wounds I endured in the fight had already started to heal. However, the power of the four still had no intention of fixing that damned ache in my chest. I ran my hand over my heart, knowing that the pain was not something that could be soothed away. At least not by my own hands. No, the only thing powerful enough to reach down into my very core and mend me was currently sleeping in my bed and completely unaware of the power she harboured.

     Ten minutes later, I headed back inside my bedroom with only a towel around my waist and my clothes—stained with both mine and Ava-Rain's blood—gathered in my hands. I tossed them in the garbage and retrieved fresh clothes from my closet. I snuck a glance at my bed and quickly scanned over my mate before making my way back into the bathroom to dress. Seconds later, I emerged from the bathroom once again and walked over to the bed to see that Ava-Rain had shifted onto her side.

     I sat down across from her and gently brushed a few curls away from her moon-lit face. Not quite content enough, I settled further onto the bed and propped my back up against the headboard. And as gently as humanly possible, I maneuvered Ava-Rain so that I was positioned behind her and she was draped over my chest. Her head rested inches below mine, and the faint smell of dirt, grass and a scent that belonged entirely to her—along with the warmth and comfort from her body—encouraged me to follow suit and give in to my own state of unconsciousness.

     The sound of her slow and steady breathing filled the silent room. And as I watched the rise and fall of her chest as if the scene was the most interesting and entertaining thing that I had ever witnessed, I couldn't help but wonder, while sleep fought hard to take hold of me, what the hell I was doing. Was it wrong for me to have brought her home? To be touching her? Holding her? To be basking in the warmth that she had not offered but I had taken? To wish for her not to wake up so that I could spend as much time as possible with her laying in my arms?

     No, it was not wrong. It was completely insane. I had obviously been driven out of my Luna-damned mind. But I gladly welcomed it if it meant that I would have that one night—that one memory—to keep me company while trapped inside of insanity.

     Hours later, I woke in time with the sunrise, although its beauty could not hold a candle to the beauty still sound asleep in my arms. As much as I did not want to let he go, I had promised myself at least one night with her and that night was over. While trying to rationally justify separating her from my body, I carefully tried to shift her onto the bed. But from the moment her body detached from mine, she stirred slightly, and seconds later her eyes fluttered open. I should have delighted in the fact that being apart from me caused her to wake up and probably would have smirked at the undeniable proof had I not been, in that moment, towered over her and had she not been directly underneath me.

     I could tell that she was still sort of out of it and it took her a bit of time to make sense of things while I called on all the strength within me to not move a muscle. When she tried to lift her head, her hand immediately shot up and clung to it, attempting to sooth the pain I was positive she must have felt. It took another couple of silent seconds for realization to wash over her, the previous night's events to most likely replay in her mind, and a shorter amount of time for her to finally notice me. . .

     . . .still towered over her body.

     Before she could even think to scream, let alone do it, my hand covered her mouth. "Don't scream," I told her sternly, leaving no opportunity for her to believe the command to be negotiable. "I know what this might look like, I know you must be scared out of your mind, but I promise that I did not nor will I hurt you. I need you to trust me, Ava-Rain. Can you do that for me?"

     I hated to see fear glistening in her eyes, but when her body began to betray her I knew that, despite that initial fear, there was something else in her eyes. Something I could work with. She had not relaxed completely, but she was no longer as defensive either. Perhaps it was because she knew that she was no match for me, that being towered over her body meant that I had the upper hand. Or maybe she had felt the truth of my promise that I would not harm her.

     When Ava-Rain nodded slowly, I removed my hand from her mouth. I kept myself positioned above her a second longer than I probably should have before moving to give her room to sit up. I did not take my eyes off of her as I got off the bed nor did she take her eyes off of me. I moved to the end, knowing it would be best to give her some space, to assure her that I had no intention of hurting her and that she was safe. Though I was quite certain that waking up in a stranger's bed—a stranger she had just met at a stupid club and exchanged no more than twenty words with—was not convincing her that she was safe or giving her a reason to trust me.

     "How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened last night?"

     She nodded. "I was. . .attacked? I fell asleep in the woods and when I woke up, I—where am I?"

     "In my bed."

     "And why am I in your bed?"

     "I was drawn to you. I found you in the woods and brought you here."

     Because I'm sure if I told her that I had felt her presence in the woods, or that the wind had carried her fear to me and that the earth had paved the way that led me straight to her would have sounded a lot more crazy, even if it was true.

     "You were drawn to me?" A look of confusion spread across her face. "What the heck does that even mean? Never mind, I'm leaving."

     She made a move to get off the bed, but before she could, I had her pinned beneath my body once again. My intention wasn't to hurt or scare her but to prevent her from leaving. I couldn't allow her to leave. Not yet. I needed more time, as selfish and crazy as that sounded.

     I asked her to trust me, yet I was certain my actions were causing the reverse effect. I wanted nothing more than to make her see that I was the good guy, yet I was restraining her on my bed like a prisoner. I did not need my angered wolf to remind me that I was doing too much too fast and probably more harm than good, so the internal ass kicking I was receiving by my inner beast I deserved without a doubt. But I had to make her—or, at the very least, help her—to understand. Help her admit what I knew she felt from the moment we met.

     "What are you doing? Get off of me!" She shoved at my chest to no avail. Her struggles were useless and she knew it.

     "Relax. I told you that I'm not going to hurt you. So please," I lowered my head closer to hers, "please, will you just calm down and listen to me?" I easily could have restrained both of her hands but chose to allow her to continue to shove at me. "Please, Ava-Rain."

     "Are you going to continue to lie to me?"

     "I never lied to you. I told you that I was drawn to you and it's the truth. You know it, Ava-Rain. You know it and you feel it."

     Against my better judgment—against my wolf's warning—I leaned in closer until our foreheads almost touched. I don't know why or remember when it became so important and necessary for Ava-Rain to accept me, but it was. I wasn't lying when I said that I had no intention of ever seeing her again after I walked away from her in that stupid club; I still firmly believed that she did not belong in my life. That she would only further complicate things for my pack. That the smart thing to do would be to never lay eyes upon her again. But the truth was that her acceptance had become a necessity.

     "I know you feel that force pulling you towards me," I looked her straight in the eyes. "You don't fear me because you can't, and you can't because you know. You know that deep down. . .you feel drawn to me too." I wasn't going to pretend with her. I wasn't going to drag things out for as long as possible. I was well past coming on too strong, had soared far beyond throwing caution to the wind. I was already in too deep and had no intention of being rescued from the hole I was willingly and unguardedly digging myself into.

     I pulled away from her slightly but still maintained our eye contact. She had finally stopped struggling, and I wasn't quite sure if she realized that her hands were pressed against my chest, but I didn't care because her touch was soothing that damned ache that had been torturing me for what seemed like an eternity. We stayed like that for a few silent moments. I watched as a million thoughts ran through her mind, could see the range of emotions swimming within the pools of her eyes. And before it was blinked away, I saw that flame, the ever-burning, undying flame that had ignited within the both of us from the moment we had first looked into each other's eyes.

     I placed a hand on her cheek and damned the raging thoughts in my head screaming that I was moving too fast. The gentleness of my caress did not silence my wolf, but, instead, made him yearn for more. He was just as much of a goner as I was. "You can try to fight it as much as you want and as hard as you can, but I see it in your eyes, Ava-Rain." I dropped my hand from her cheek and moved away from her. I got off of the bed and put even more distance between us by walking across the room.

     "Who are you? I mean, apart from the guy I met two nights ago. You know my name, but I don't know yours."

     "My name is Caleb. Caleb Brandt."

     "Caleb," she repeated before a look of embarrassment spread across her face. I could only assume that she had not meant to say my name out loud, which made me smirk. She quickly tore her gaze away from me but made the unknowing mistake of lowering it to the scratches and bruises all over her arms. "Oh, my God! I'm sorry. I probably messed up your sheets—" As she scrambled around in an attempt to get off of my bed, her eyes made contact with her sweater, which I had laid out at the foot of the bed after I removed it from her body. "I thought you didn't touch me," a chilling glare was sent in my direction.

     "I said that I didn't hurt you, not that I didn't touch you. I had to address your wounds to stop the bleeding, but they weren't anything to take you to the hospital over."

     She looked away once again. It was obvious that she was deciding whether or not to believe me. But, even so, I continued to watch her, not able to ignore the fact that her initial reaction upon seeing her wounds was to apologize for getting blood on the sheets. I couldn't ignore it because it fascinated me. Ava-Rain was strangely intriguing, a mystery that I would not mind sacrificing my time to figure out.

     "Besides, if I wanted to touch you in any way other than with caution, I'd damn well make sure you were awake and fully conscious to enjoy it. I promise you that."