Chapter Notes: Caleb's POV

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-'All I can give you is memories, carry them with you & I'll never leave. . .'-

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It hurt.

     It hurt so much.

     In one moment, I was stepping out of my car after arriving at the Helland cottage, and in the next, I felt an unexpected blow right in my chest. The hit was so powerful that it had brought me down to my knees; the pain was unbearable and unlike anything I had ever felt before.

     I clutched at my chest as blood curdling yells sounded in my ears.

     Had they come out from my own mouth?

     "Caleb!"

     I could hear Chase's distorted voice calling my name repeatedly, but could barely see his face hovered over mine through my blurred vision.

     "What's wrong?" Kane's head moved in beside Chase's. "Caleb, can you hear us? Caleb! Caleb!"

     I moved my mouth to speak, or at least I thought I had. I couldn't say for sure. Not while my chest felt like it just had its heart ripped out from it.

     Something was wrong.

     Something had happened to Ava-Rain.

     "Ava-Rain. . ." I prayed to Luna that I had spoken the words out loud. They needed to get to her. They needed to save her before it was too late. "Find Ava-Rain. . .save her. . .save her."

     Whether it had been my eyes that closed or just my vision that had gone black, I couldn't say. Either way, I felt the chilling darkness as it closed in all around me, preparing to take me hostage. The sound of my betas calling my name was the last thing that I heard before the darkness latched onto me and dragged me away.

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     She was beautiful.

     Standing in the familiar field of grass, bathed in the moonlight with the trees from the woods as her backdrop, Ava-Rain was beautiful.

     But my wolf and I both knew she was far from okay.

     Making use out of the fact that her back was turned towards me, I allowed myself to be captivated by the sight of her white dress against her skin, and the halo of moonlight that sat atop of her curls. However, I was only able to do so for mere seconds because seconds was all it took before Ava-Rain's back stiffened and she turned around to face me.

     Latching onto her brown eyes, my body floated across the grass as my mate reeled me in with her gaze. With every step that I took, I shed myself of the angst still clinging to my body since leaving the den. I erased the smug look on Jax's double-crossing face from my memory and replaced it with the sight of Ava-Rain's smiling face as she drew me towards her. And after pulling her into my chest once I reached her, my earlier fear of getting to her too late morphed into fear of letting her go.

     Because I was never going to let her go.

     Because if she was still here, that meant I still had time.

     "You came," she breathed out, her tone full of amazement and surprise. Pulling away slightly, she peered up at me; the smile on her face brightened as she tightened her hold around my waist.

     "Of course, I came." I took her face in my hands, and searched her eyes for the reason behind the disbelief.

     "I've been waiting, but I didn't know if you'd come. But you're here. You're really here."

     I'd only be lying if I said that her excitement to see me hadn't hit me right in the ego. The way her eyes were lit up and the tightness in which she held onto me, it was clear that her excitement had been genuine. But it also made it clear that, on some level, the possibility of me not showing up—not coming to her—had inflicted her in some way.

     How could it have not? Not even I could explain how I was able to get there.

     But all that mattered was that I was there. That I had come to her.

     "You missed me that much, huh?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood. Trying to refrain myself from feeling the failure that taunted me from within. But the attempt only made me wonder if I might have said something wrong as I watched Ava-Rain's smile slowly fade and her eyes fill with tears.

     "What's wrong?" Panic quickly set in.

     She shook her head. "They're happy tears."

     Despite her words, I continued to stare down at her, unable to think of a reasonable response. I was happy to see her, too. How could I not be? My loss of words wasn't because I doubted the sincerity of her confession, but because my guilt wouldn't allow me to bask in her happiness.

     How could she be happy? How could the tears in her eyes have been bred from happiness and not pain when she was here—hanging between life and death—because of me?

     But I couldn't dwell on it. Every second that ticked by, was another second wasted. The fact that Ava-Rain was still here meant that she was still alive. And if I wanted to keep her that way, then I needed to get her out of this prison within her mind before it was too late.

     I was no expert in dream walking; the first and only time I had done so was in Ava-Rain's mind, and it nearly self-destructed in order to keep me out. That time, the power of the four helped me get in and get out, and I had no doubt that it would come through once again. That it would help me save her just as it had done before. How, I had no idea—I did not know how it worked or how to use it—but the little I did know was that time in here moved much slower than time 'outside', which equated to me having zero time to waste trying to figure it out.

     "We need to go." Untying her arms from around my waist, I slipped my hand into one of hers and turned to walk. However, a single step was all that I was able to take as it was the only amount of slack I had been given by her fully extended arm. My abrupt halt was the result of her still being rooted in place.

     "Caleb—"

     "Ava-Rain, we don't have a lot of time. I need to figure out a way to get us both out. Last time, I was able to use the power of the four—"

     "There is no way out. Not for me, anyway. Not this time. It's...too late."

     "No," I shook my head as I was forced to watch the tears in her eyes finally slide down her cheeks.

     Realization set in real quick.

     Ava-Rain's tears of happiness were not a result of her being happy to see me here because I had come to save her. She had been happy over being able to see me before she. . .

     "No."

     "Caleb, listen to me—"

     "I don't accept that, Ava-Rain! I won't—I refuse to accept that."

     If I accepted that, then that would be an acceptance of failure. If I accepted that, then I would have to admit that I failed to protect her like I had promised. If I accepted that, then I would have to accept that this—all of this—was just a place for us to say goodbye.

     And I wasn't going to do that.

     I wasn't ready to do that. I would never be ready to do that.

     "It's too late," she repeated, swiping at her tears.

     "It's not. If I'm here, that means that you're still alive out there. There's still a chance. I brought you back once with my blood, I can do it again."

     "I'm bleeding out with an arrow in my chest, Caleb. There's no coming back from that."

     "The Hellands—"

     "I'm too deep in the woods. By the time the Hellands find me, it'll be too late."

     "Then the pack will find you. We just got here—"

     "Caleb," she stepped closer to me and held up my hand to her chest. To feel the faint pounding of her heart. "It's too late."

     Her tears continued to stream down her face, rolling off her jaw and dropping onto my hand being held to her chest. Each tear felt like a splash of scolding water against my skin.

     "Don't say that. It'll be too late only if you give up." I pulled my hand away from her chest and took her face in my hands. "You need to fight, Ava-Rain. You need to fight to hang on, okay? Why aren't you fighting? Why aren't you fighting to stay with me?"

     She placed her hands on top of mine. "I fought this long so that I could see you one last time."

     "Then let me fight. I'll stay here with you for as long as I need to."

     "You know that's not possible."

     As if on cue, a strong breeze fluttered around us. Once its cold caress passed straight through me, then slithered its way up my spine, I knew why Ava-Rain was adamant about not fighting. I knew why she wanted me to accept that there was nothing that I could do to stop her fate from playing out. Just like the last time, it would only be a matter of time before her mind self-destructed.

     She turned her head to the side as the wind continued to lurk, ruffling her curls every now and then to remind us of its presence. "We're almost out of time."

     "Look at me, Ava-Rain. Look at me and you tell me what else am I suppose to do. Am I suppose to accept this? Accept you leaving me? You leave and then what? I go back there and bury you? Mourn you? Live without you? Live the rest of my life with a hole in my chest and half of my soul? Tell me how I'm suppose to do that. Tell me—"  

     "I'm an heir of the four," she rushed out before turning her head towards me. Not only did she drop her hands to her side, but she kept her gaze lowered, as well, as she took a step back from me. As if her admission was so grand that it required space between us.

     "How did you. . ." I had only just found that out earlier that night. How did she know about her connection to the supernatural world?

     "I found out tonight that I'm a descendant of Huyana, which means that I carry the power of the four, born of darkness, inside of me. What a game-changer, huh?"

     "You don't know that. Darkness, Ava-Rain? That can't be true—"

     "It's true. I've had strange dreams for weeks, Caleb. Dreams of destruction. . .of death. . .they all make sense now."

     "I don't care." Because she still kept her eyes on the grass below, I made sure my voice did not falter and the seriousness and sincerity in my tone left no room for her to doubt.

     Everything that happened earlier in the day made me realize just how little control I had in and of my own life. I could no longer tell reality from fiction, nor point out the truths from an abundance of lies. But the one thing that I knew with absolute certainty, that was real and not fiction, a truth and not a lie, was my love for Ava-Rain.

     Secrets—many of which were not even my own—seemed to have steered my entire life in a direction that I had no control over, but there was not a secret in the world that could ever hi-jack my love for my mate.

     "If you save me," she finally lifted her head to look at me, "then that power is unleashed upon the world. On you. On the pack, and the Hellands, and everyone that I care about. All of this—everything that's happened—was because of me."

     This was why the pure bloods had been watching us for months? Cyrus knew she would come, and this was the reason why he was protecting me? This whole time, that was why he wanted her dead? How could he have known any of this? How did she come to know this?

     "This power will jeopardize both of our worlds. I can't let that happen. You know that can't happen, Caleb. You know it. You have to let me die, so that won't happen."

     Let her die to save the very world that did this to her?

     "I can't. . ."

     "It'll be hard, I know. But do whatever you have to do in order to be okay. All I ever want is for you to be okay, Caleb. So, if you have to hate me, then hate me. If you have to regret loving me, then regret it. If you have to forget every memory of me, then forget."

     She was asking me to do the impossible. To choose the world over her. How was that a choice when she was my world?

     "You say that as if you're not ingrained in every fibre of my being. Hate you? Regret you? Forget you? I said it once, and I'll say it again; I don't care what you are, or who you're a descendant of, Ava-Rain. You are my mate. You are the person that I fell in love with and who my heart beats for."

     My hunt for answers only left me with more questions; my greed for them put us both in this predicament. I did not care what Ava-Rain was or where she came from. I did not care whose blood ran through her veins. I cared about the girl who loved watching chick flicks and eating ice-cream. I cared about the girl who loved me deeply and whole-heartedly; who abandoned everything she knew to accept me, and gave up everything she had to be with me.

     That girl was not darkness. That girl was my moon. That girl had so much life left to live with me and by my side. How could we be over when we had only just begun?

     "You once told me that our fates are written in the sky, and what is written by the hand of Luna cannot be unwritten. Maybe this was always meant to be, Caleb. Maybe our paths were only meant to intertwine briefly before continuing on in their separate ways. My journey has ended, but maybe yours is only beginning. I have to believe that. I choose to believe that."

     Maybe she was right.

     And I'd start that journey by killing every single person that had a hand in her death.

     "That's not what I mean," she said as if she had read my mind. Or, perhaps she had taken notice of the burning rage beginning to bubble over inside of me. "And that's not the legacy I want to leave behind, Caleb. Promise me you won't avenge me."

     "I won't promise you that."

     She reached down and picked up my right hand, flipping it over to expose my palm. I had already fully healed from the blood bond, yet she trailed a finger over where the wound had once existed. "Your power of the four is both light and dark. You've lived your entire life trying to maintain that balance. If you give in to the darkness, then you become them. If you become them, then they win."

     "They've already won, Ava-Rain. They've taken you from me. You're asking me to forgive that? To forgive them? To forgive the person who did this you?"

     "Yes. You'll know soon enough who it was, and when you do, forgive her. Forgive her and forgive yourself."

     Forgive myself?

     The wind started to become a bit more forceful, almost as if it was trying to pull us apart. Along with her hair, the skirt of Ava-Rain's dress began to violently thrash around.

     This was the yellow's warning. Probably its final one.

     We were nearly out of time.

     But there was still so much I wanted to say and wanted her to say. So much I wanted to hear and wanted her to hear. So much I wanted to know and wanted her to know. How could I possibly sum up everything that Ava-Rain meant to me within seconds? How could I tell her the ways in which the few weeks she spent in my life had impacted me for the better, or thank her for loving me?

     I couldn't.

     So, I did the only thing that I could do. I let her in.

     I let the blue carry her on a journey through the words I would never get to say; I let the yellow show her the future I had imagined for us both, but would never get to have; I let the green show her the planted seeds of dreams that I had watered with her love, but would never grow to come true; I let the red draw her down into its fiery pits where my love for only her resided.

     Pulling my hand away to hold hers instead, I held it against my beating heart as I leaned in to rest my forehead against hers. "I love you, Ava-Rain Tolbert."

     "I love you, Caleb Brandt."

     Then, and only then, did my own tears begin to fall. Knowing that it would be the last time I heard her say that she loved me. Knowing that from that moment onward, the words would never again be a source of comfort but a haunting reminder that I never deserved her love. "I'm sorry, Ava-Rain. I'm so sorry. . ."

     "It's not your fault. That night after we met, in the woods outside of my neighbourhood, you saved me in so many ways. Not just from that wolf, but from myself. You taught me what it means to love and be loved; you taught me how to fight for myself and fight for what I wanted. You showed me how to live. You showed me that not all wolves and mysterious, gorgeous boys will tear me to shreds."

     She placed her free hand on the side of my face, and pulled her head back so that we could look at each other. "Thank you for loving me, teaching me, holding my hand as I walked by your side. That night, you saved me, and tonight was just my turn to save you."

     "I'm going to bring you home," I promised. "I'll bring you home, Ava-Rain."

     "I know you will," she smiled.

     Just then, the distinct sound of a crackling fire forced our attention away from each other. Both of our eyes had been drawn towards the woods, and, together, we watched as the mass of trees that stretched out for acres were set aglow by an unforgiving fire. It mowed down, trampled over, and swept away every tree as it forced its way towards us.

     "I have to go," she said before slowly turning her head.

     "Not yet." I still wasn't ready to let go. "Please. . ."

     "I loved you in this life, and I'll love you into the next." She lifted her head up and kissed me.

     Just as quickly as our lips met, they parted. And when my eyes opened, Ava-Rain had already started walking backwards. She kept her eyes on me with every step that she took, and mine could only watch as my hand slipped out of hers and my arm dropped to my side once the final step that forced the separation had been taken.

     I tried to go after her. When she lifted a hand with her palm facing me, I was immediately prevented from taking another. Not because her actions caught me off guard, but because I physically could not move my feet. Ava-Rain was controlling me with some unseen force.

     No, she was controlling me with the power of the four, I realized.

     "Ava-Rain!" I desperately called out to her, but she only turned her back to me and continued her trek towards the burning woods.

     The fear within me started to grow as the amber glow of the fire behind her burned brighter. Even from where I stood, I could feel its rage as the wind carried its overwhelming heat in my direction. And if it had felt that intense from where I stood, I could only imagine how it must have felt for Ava-Rain.

     My desperation to get to her had me frantically calling on my own power of the four to help me, but my pleads did nothing. I still could not move. Inside, I felt my wolf as he tried to claw his way out, heard his painful cries as he, too, watched the fire racing towards our mate through my eyes. Both of us were helpless, both of us unable to do anything other than watch.

     Over and over, I called out her name. Even as the ground beneath me began to shake and split, I called out to her. I called out until my throat was horse and my voice cracked. Until all I could do was accept the fact that I could not stop this. I couldn't save her because she was trying to save me. She had the power to control the fire, but the flames were not going to stop because she did not want them to. This was her trying to make sure that I would not be affected by the self-destruction of her mind.

     It was only then that her head turned. When her eyes met mine, she smiled.

     Through that smile, she let me know that she was going to be okay. That I was going to be okay.

     It was her goodbye.

     "No. . ." I shook my head, refusing to accept it. "Ava-Rain, no! Let me go with you!" I begged. Pleaded.

     If we were to die, then we would die together. That was what we had promised each other. That was how it was meant to be.

     Ava-Rain only continued to stare back at me, unbothered by the flames closing in on her. Unaffected by the fact that she had maybe a minute at best before she would be gone.

     Forever.

     Her mouth moved, and although I could not hear what she said—the pounding of my heart and the monstrous roar of fire filled my ears—I was able to read the three words that danced upon her lips.

      I love you.

     When the fire was seconds away from swallowing her whole, her hand dropped and she turned around to face the flames. Even though I was no longer being held in place, my will to move was not greater than the heavy shock that kept me rooted in place by the horrific scene unfolding before my eyes.

     I could not move.

     I could not look away.

     And both my wolf and I watched our mate, the girl we loved and swore to always protect, engulfed by the merciless flames.